Homeward Bound
by redvelvetjade
Summary: Four Teenage superstars One Crash , A aftermath that tore Hollywood in half..one superstar's mistake Equals Regrets Lies Coverups But did everyone forget about the real lesson? The life lost?
1. Chapter 1 Intro

**Homeward Bound**

**Prequel **

_Demi " It's Not Your Fault_

_[Friend] Yes It IS Dems I was driving_

_[Dems] You didn't see the car_

_[Friend] They all Blame me!_

_[Demi] Who's They?_

_[Friend] The fans! Disney Her Parents!_

_Everyone is looking at me and pointing at me!_

_Nick can't even look at me!_

_God I just wanna Die!_

_[Demi] NO Don't say that we already lost her we can't lose you to.._

_[Friend] How Can I live with this? How can I live knowing I killed her!_

No matter what I did I couldn't convince her that it wasn't her fault, that fate just had her time wrapped in it's hands and no matter how much we wanted to change it take it back say what we never got to say. We can't cause no matter how much we wanna stop it wish it away Death happens and it don't matter the age when it's our time it's our time..

_I miss you so bad I look up at the stars in the sky_

_And I can't help but wonder Why _

_Why did you have to die_

_Leave me here on my own it's so cold_

_I feel myself growing numb_

_I can't imagine life here without your smiling face_

_But I hear you whisper my name and say to me_

_You got to continue on _

_It's not your time you have so much left to do _

_Don't stop now you're on your way_

_I'm looking down on you your star's on the rise_

_Keep going your almost there_

_It's been a long hard journey but time is paying off_

_Your almost there hold on dear _

_Your home ward Bound _

_In The Clear..._

_I hear them whisper your name in hushed tones_

_They think I don't hear they think I don't feel_

_I promise you I won't cry ,I will be strong and I will carry out_

_Your dreams you never lived to see_

_You had your time to shine _

_But you couldn't stay _

_You told me goodbye but you never got to stay_

_Long enough to tell me that Goodbye was forever_

_How were we to know you couldn't stay with us_

_That you were on a mission from God and you only had _

_A few short years to say what you had to say you were_

_Only passing by long enough to say hi _

_I will celebrate your life and I promise I won't cry _

_I will keep your memory alive and live out my life_

_I promise a promise I won't break _

_Someday I know we will be reunited and we will never_

_Be parted someday it may not be til years from now_

_When I am old and Grey but someday I will be... _

_We will all be Home ward Bound..._

_Cause were all just Angels Passing by_

_On To greater things..._

_Were all Home ward Bound..._


	2. Chapter 2 Hershey Park Here We Come

**Homeward Bound**

**Hershey Park Here We Come**

**Miley p o v**

" _[Demi] Oh My God! He is sooo cute!_

_Selena look at this picture_

_[Selena]- What ,huh?_

Selena looked up from where she was on my hotel bed texting her boyfriend Nick to where Demi was at the desk with my laptop going through her emails.

[Me]- _Who sent it to you?_

[Demi]-_ Alyson _

_[M_e_] Haven't heard from her in awhile_

_[_Demi_]- Yea she's busy filming a new movie in Venezuela _

_I haven't seen her since we got done filming Camp Rock 2 _

_[_Demi] – _Lena come over here you have to see how cute JB looks in this pic_

She sighed

_[Lena]- But Nick goes on in 10 minutes I won't be able to talk to him _

_In Forever why don't you ask Miles to look at him?_

[Me]- _Cuz I think he's an over exposed obnoxious little brat who thinks he's better_

_Looking then he really is _

Selena's mouth dropped open as I snickered. I know I'm probably the only girl in this generation between 5-19 who doesn't think 16 year old Justin Beeper is the hottest thing on this planet. Sorry but the thing is I had the experience of dating the little weasel as far as I'm concerned he's cocky ignorant and foolish and he takes too much for granted.

Oh yea did I mention ever since our one date which was arranged by Disney not by my choice that the media loves to throw us together? Well they do and I can't escape it, not to mention all his teen girl fans hate me now. Then there's the fact that I have worked too hard too damn long to have my career thrown away because of him.

[Demi]- T_hat's why I didn't ask her anyway Selena _

_Don't be a Drama Queen you'll see Nicky tonight_

_Remember why were here to preform for the Benefit Jonas will be here_

[Selena]- _As I said too damn long _

She sighed but got up going over texting Nick.

[Selena] – _This better be worth it! _

_Miss Beeper Fever Leader!_

_[Demi]- Oh my god it so is! Seriously Selena_

_I wouldn't take you away from Lover Boy_

_If I didn't think this was so dreamy_

_[Selena] – Yea he looks great if you like little Boys But it looks like every other_

_Magazine Photo I have ever seen of him._

_Yea So Not Worth it_

_[Demi]- NO WAY! It Is not the same look at his dimples_

_And the way the light makes his red hair shine and the.._

[Noah] – _Justine~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

_Oh~~~My~~~~God~~~~~~!_

I swear my ten year old sisters scream went up at every word . Rolling my eyes I looked up from where I was sitting at the table where I was doing homework. Noah Lindsey came running in wearing her Justin shirt. Her and Demi started to oh and ah . Slamming my books I I went into the bathroom grabbing my cell phone.

[Selena ]- _Where are you going?_

She looked at me at me as if to say no please don't leave me alone with these freaky insane fan girls who have replaced Demi and Noah...

[Me]- _I have to pee bad_

_[_Lena]- S_o you need your cell?_

[Me]- _Yes_

[Lena]- _Uh Okay_

The door Slammed sighing I dialed my bestie's number taping my foot impatiently. I prayed she would pick up that her BG5 rehearsal would be through. Just as I was about to give up she breathlessly answered.

[Mandy]- _Ello? _[Pant ,Pant_]_

[Me]-_Hey Sweetie it's about time _

_You picked up Woman _

[Mandy]- _Hey Sorry We just Got Done With Rehearsal_

_Getting Ready to Head out are you Coming?_

[Me]-_Yea Shortly God I wish you were here_

She giggled

[Mandy]- _Why?_

[Me]- _Demi found a new pic of Jerk Face and her Noah are trying_

_To see who can break glass first_

[Mandy]- _Ouch Sounds painful sorry babe but will be together soon_

[Me]- _Can't wait to ride the roller coasters here we come!_

[Mandy]- G_otta go babe will c u soon _

_Remember their grow up soon enough for now_

_plug your ears.._

[me]- _'suppose so some of us mature more quickly_

We both laughed as we said goodbye and hung up.

[Demi]- _Oh My God! No Way!_

_That's even cuter_

[Noah]- N_ot Uh! The other one is!_

[Demi]- _No way open your eyes_

[Noah]- _I am check your sight!_

_This one I so much cuter!_

_[_Demi]- _Not Uh!_

[Noah]- _ Uh huh!_

No way was I going out there not yet I was not ready to face them . Suddenly I realized I did have to pee.

_You should of said no.._

My ringtone went off letting me know I had a new message flipping it over I slide my finger across the screen.

[text]

_[Nick]- Heard your having a hard time with _

_All these Beeper talk wanna chat?_

[me]-_Yes thank you you always know how to rescue me _

[Nick]- _It's what I do rescue pretty ladies_

[me]- _I see your ego's still in tact_

[Nick]- _Yes I keep it very healthy _

[Me]- _Good To Know , so what are you doing?_

[Nick]- _In our dressing room getting ready to go on _

_Can't wait I love to preform _

[Me]- _Yea I know the feeling_

[Nick]- _Got to go talk to you later smiles_

_Can't wait to see you and my girl.._

[Me]- _Thanks Nicky have fun out there you'll be amazing!_

[Lena]- _Miley Hurry up what are you doing taking a dump?_

_I have to pee! Really Bad!_

She banged on the door I sighed flushing.

[me]- V_ery classy Lena_

Opening the door I glared at her she shrugged rushing in.

[Mom]- _Are you girls ready?_

_It's time to go to Hershey Park_

_[Demi] I wanna stare at Justin more!_

_Besides Lena's peeing_

[Lena]- _Thanks for announcing that to the whole freaking world __Demetria!_

_[Demi]-Don't be so dramatic! It's only Miley's mom_

[Lena]- _With the whole camera crew that is filming the behind the scene's_

_For the Disney Dvd!_

[Demi]- _That's today?_

[Lena and I ]- _Yea!_

[Demi]- _Ah crap I wasn't ready for that I don't even have makeup on_

_my hair's a mess...Oh My god I look and sound like a crazed fan!_

_Why didn't you remind me before!_

Selena came out laughing

_[Selena]- Cause this is so much more fun!_

[Demi]- _I am going to kill you!_

[Mom]-_ Let's go girls we can't be late.._

Demi had her pinned against the wall which didn't stop her from laughing as mom ran over and grabbed them apart.

Today was the day I had been looking forward to forever. All day we were going to get to spend chilling in Hershey Park. Then tonight we were preforming at the stadium for a benefit hosted by Disney to help The Hershey Foundation which benefit's kids who have no families and need help getting collage educations.

Bg5 is our opening act then I preform then Demi and Selena And The Scene with other acts like Jonas , AJ and Ally , Mitchel , Emily Taylor and Carrie. We were meeting a bunch of them at Hershey today.


	3. Chapter 3 I Hope You find It

**Homeward Bound **

**Miley p o v**

A/N Thanks to all Those Who Reviewed I still own Nothing..

[Demi]- _Holly Molly Look At These Roller Coasters!_

_Which one do we do first?_

_[Me]- Well I told Mandy I would meet her by The Entrance _

_So Why Don't You Go And Explore_

_[Selena]- Sounds Good When Is She going to be here?_

[Me]- S_he Should be here Very Soon_

_[Selena]- Okay You'll call us then? _

_[Me]- Course have fun! _

It was amazing being able to walk around the park with no one around to recognize me they had agreed to close the park for half the day so we could have some freedom. I really needed the peace this past month had been complete hell, for the last year I have been jet setting promoting Hannah Montana my TV show plus my movie The Last Song. I love what I do I am so lucky to live the life I live but sometimes it gets to be too damn much never being home with your family and friends, maintaining a relationship can be brutal my old friends from TN have all vanished , I was lucky to meet Mandy she's loyal and funny and sweet. Plus she understand this life cause she lives it as well.

I'm not sure what really set me off but I think it's because no one understand that I'm 17 and I need my privacy and the media makes it impossible. The fans think they have every right to know everything about me and it gets to the point where you just don't know were you end and they begin. They always have something to say especially when it comes to who ever I'm dating. When I was with Nick I was so happy he was everything a girl could ask for sweet ,caring, charming ,funny. He held the door for me he paid for me even though that was something we fought over I'm not exactly poor and I don't mind paying for something. The fans made it a point to say what they felt I wasn't good enough for him I was a slut I was ugly. I would never make them happy, every move we made was documented by reporters by paparazzi it was on every blog our first kiss our dates nothing was sacred. They made up lies about me being pregnant even though I'm a virgin the attention got so bad we started to fight over stupid things, important things anything he started talking to his friends about me and believing those rumors.

Then he started lying to me telling me he was going with his friends when he was really dating her..she was pretty hell she was gorgeous she was smart and funny but not just in a sarcastic way like really funny she could crack a joke at a moments notice plus she was talented and sweet. She was new to Hollywood she wasn't jaded like I was she had a innocence to her and he loved it. She was on the rise and so was he they were a prefect fit everyone saw it the fans the company the media everyone but me.

Which made the Breakup so much worse. He texted me to break up with me I was devastated I was in the middle of tour I was under so much stress to make this a smash hit and he breaks my heart. Those pictures made it worse I had taken them to show nick how much I cared for him he knew I was so private about my body but I took half nude pics and sent them on my cell to his and put them on my myplace site but some one hacked into it and they spread them all over the internet. Disney had a fit I was screamed at threatened my parents grounded me for ever and fans turned against me they called me the slut and Selena ..Nick's new girlfriend was the Angel.

I was so thankful to have Mandy who I had started to become close to, she was my rock my savior the one who I could talk to and know my secrets would always be safe with. Then I dated Justin Gast and he was only after me for three things money ,sex and fame of course I was the last to see it I started to really care for him .I liked the fact that he was older and he was a musician my dad loved him he was the one who wanted us together. So I gave him a chance Mandy never liked it she didn't trust him and she thought he was after me for fame. I wanted to believe her but I needed to be with a guy to show Nick I was over him and I could be happy despite him. But illusions can only be held so long before they shatter as soon as Justin got the fame he wanted he started pressuring me for sex which I wasn't ready to give, he started changing hanging out at clubs late hooking up with girls. Using my name to get into places to get free things, Mandy's the one who finally convinced me to give up on him so I dumped him right before I left to film The Last Song.

I swore off boys then I meet Liam and thought he was perfect. Mom thought he was the one for me and kept telling me how cute and sweet he was for me so we started dating. Over time I really started to like him but there was something holding me back even though I loved him I couldn't bring myself to fully be with him. We had fun together I helped him move from Australia to La I introduced him to the Hollywood circuit we were making plans to get married and have kids one day everything was going great till 3 months ago I came out with my new cd and my new image. I wanted to break free of the Disney little girl and show people I could be more mature but of course everyone cried that I was a slut a bad influence . I never wanted my fans to be ashamed or to think I was a slut I just needed people to see I wasn't perfect and I can't be no matter how hard I try I am human I make bad decisions and I will mess up but I have to be myself no matter who hates me for it .I can't be fake and hide behind some perfect facade like Hannah Montana ..forever cause it's not real. It was all too much I felt myself breaking and the two people there to catch me were Nick who had broken up with Selena and then there was Mandy.

Once Nick and I started to reconnect Liam got jealous and started accusing me of cheating even though Nick and I were only friends. We fought so much I had headaches constantly which lead to stomach aches . I was always moody and crying, Mandy was there for me to comfort me and offer advice or just to hear me out. I remember she took me out one day to the beach to get tan and relax so we could just spend the day together and talk we were laying there on the beach she had taken off her bikini top to get tan course. I was making sure no one was around to get it on film and for whatever reason ,I found myself watching her and seeing how amazing she looked I knew she was gorgeous but that day I really saw how amazing she looked and all my feelings came over me before I knew it I was kissing her she was shocked but she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me back, it was sweet soft yet full of passion. Neither one of us spoke after it we just let our feelings do the talking. Mandy is one of the sweetest most understanding women I have ever meet she knew I needed to escape she didn't blame me or reject me but she didn't want to be used either so she waited till I was ready. She supported me and I supported her which got me through the times that were ahead more hate more lose of fans more harsh reviews more scandals and then when I was filming lol this summer some pictures of me and my co-star Adam were leaked making it look like I was cheating on Liam so he broke up with me, which devastated me. Mandy was there to comfort me every night we talked on the phone or texted this was the first I would be seeing her in months I needed her so bad.

The miracle in this was that Selena and I had moved past all the hate and found a friendship, we weren't bff's or anything but we had to work together and we traveled in the same circles so we might as well be friends. I was happy her and Nick had started dating they were cute together and I was happy with Mandy even if we had to hide it.

The day was starting out amazing so clear and warm not a drop of rain in sight just a slight breeze that blew. I leaned against one of the buildings closing my eyes. I was lucky to have her to have my fans my career. I just wanted it all to remain without losing who I was and sometimes it's so hard.

[Mandy]- S_miles it's about time! Ah!_

I saw her as she came flying around the building her Raven hair behind her in it's own flight her amazing blue eyes which seemed to light up as she saw me. Without even thinking my feet took off and I was flying into her arms god I had never been so happy to see anyone in my life. I buried my face in her chest she ran her hands through my hair and kissed my head laughing.

[Mandy]- _Miss me much Sweetheart?_

[Me]- _No much no..._

We both laughed as she held me.

[Mandy]-_Come on Darlin there will be plenty of time for_

_This reunion later lets hit the rides.._

[Me]- _Well Gee Nice to know you missed me to_

I hit her arm she laughed and pulled my head to her side ruffling my hair..

[Mandy]- _Course I missed you more then I can say without choking _

_Call Selena Or Dems whoever we can talk later for now We Ride_

We found Demi and Selena in minutes with Emily, Mitchel, we hugged as we got on the first ride sidewinder which we literally had to drag Demi on. She was kicking and screaming making us laugh Demi was looking for any escape, we held her down as Selena kept talking to her

[Lena]- _Relax Dems just close your eyes as we roll forward it'll be over soon_

_Look ahead that's not that high.._

Demi looked forward and started to relax the track in front of us didn't look that high. She started to breath normal and relax her body but Selena had a evil look on her face and I didn't trust her the attendant gave the ready to dispatch signal. Suddenly we shot backwards Demi screamed grabbing me which caused me to cry out in pain and Lena to laugh like crazy. We climbed backwards slowly then shot down fast shooting up the other looping around twists and turns as demi buried herself in my lap terrorized.

Okay so I loved it but she was ready to kill Selena who wasted no time in taking off laughing as demi tried unsuccessfully to stay on her feet. Mandy and I held her up ..

[Demi] – _oh I think I am going to hurl..._

By the time we caught up with Selena she had already done 3 more rides and found Taylor and Aj,,more hugs enthused and we were on our way. Mitchel was holding Demi back from killing Selena.

Time seemed to pass so fast we had done Storm Racer, The Great Bear , Super Doper lopper and were on our way to Fahrenheit when the park opened to the public we prepared ourselves in case we were recognized which since we were together was more then likely going to happen. We grabbed sunglasses and hats to try to make it less noticeable. By the time we got to the other end of the park to go on Fahrenheit which everyone told us we had to do it was jammed but we weren't missing out on this ..

[Lena]- _Should we use our connections?_

She whispered to me I shock my head it would make it to oblivious we would just have to wait like everyone else. I watched the coaster it was a 4 car one that shot up a orange track and around like 4 loops reaching speeds of 59 m.p.h Demi had already taking off promising to get Selena later. We kept talking to a minimum so no one would recognize our voices Mandy wrapped her arm around me and I found myself leaning my head on her chest just enjoying being near her, she smelled amazing closing my eyes I actually felt myself drift off till we moved which awakened me. Just in time to see Lena get a text from Nick which made her go all googly eyes on us, 2 hours we waited to get on this ride we were hot and in desperate need of a drink and some cooling off.

[Emily]- _Lena Text Demi find out where she is so we can meet up_

_[Lena]- You do it I'm texting Nick_

_Besides she's still mad at me.._

_[Me]- Well gee I can't begin to see why _

_[Lena]- I know right the girl should be glad I got her over her fear of heights_

_see I showed her it's possible to go high at fast speeds and not end up splattered_

_[Emily]- Not sure she see's it that way but sure_

[Lena] -_Aw _

_[Me]-what did Lover Boy say?_

_[Lena] not for you to know_

_[Me]- Oh really? Well I'll decided that!_

I grabbed the cell and ran she screamed and took off after me chasing me through the park as I tried to read what he had said...

[Lena]- _Miles Give me that phone!_

Oh no I thought she just said my name how many people had my name?

[Little girl]- _Oh my god it's Miley !_

_[Demi]- Ah shit that's not good!_

Demi was in the wave pool as I came flying up with Selena chasing me

_[ Lena]- I'm going to kill you !_

Right before she tackled me into the water smart move since I was holding her phone I saw what he wrote..

**Lena can't wait 2 c u 2nite I miss u soo much**

**I can't wait to make love and show u how much u mean 2 me baby**

**luv N.J**

It hit me like a ton of bricks so they did have sex wow he was that serious about her that he gave up his vows to make love to her. The water hit me with such force. I was left stunned I couldn't breath as she pushed me under it went in my mouth my eyes up my nose. I'm not a strong swimmer to start with now I was powerless to stop her, as she hit me playfully but enough to blind me as Demi and Emily and Mitchel pulled her off, I stumbled coughing and wheezing as I got up and spitting up water unable to stand Mandy was by my side holding me up as I coughed gasping..everyone was looking at us gasping as they had their cells out taking pictures and videos..

[Emily] – A_re you crazy she can't swim.._

[Lena_]- I know that's why I did it!_

There was something in her face she wasn't serious she wasn't trying to hurt me but she was mad I had read her message and I guess I can't blame her. I would be pissed if someone read my private message to. I wanted to apologize but my throat was clogged and all I could do was gag as I fell against Mandy. She pulled me out as everyone was whispering .Mandy pounded my back as her and Mitchel got me to shore. Emt's were rushing over my worst nightmare a scene , Mandy's voice kept soothing me as she rubbed my back while the EMT"s talked to her and she gave them what they needed. I couldn't argue when they slipped a mask over my face which helped me to breath. Closing my eyes like she said I concentrated on breathing and the stinging went away. When I was able to sit up I saw security had cleared people away they were behind a fence still there but not in my face. Nick was by my left side holding my hand talking to me, Joe was holding Demi and Kevin was calming fans down.

Demi and Selena were sitting close by glaring at each other. Mandy was holding my right hand, after a few minutes . I was able to do without the mask and I was fine. She had to fill out a release form so we could go back to our day, but now security had to stay with us not what we wanted.

Still we had fun going on water rides and the roller soaker which we took turns blasting each other with water guns and canons. Selena and Demi were on a war to out due each other.

After lunch we walked around to digest and signed autographs took pictures with fans and did some games after a few more rides we were getting too hot and the fans were getting crazy so we went back to the hotel.

I wanted to crash it had taken more out of me then I thought possible.

[Lena]- M_iles I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you I just well _

_I want my relationship to be private I really need it to work with Nick_

_This time Really I didn't mean to hurt you_

_[ME]-It's okay Lena really I'm fine and believe me I get it I'm sorry I stole_

_Your cell it was rude and I know the feeling of wanting privacy._

_[Lena]- Whew so were good?_

_[ME]- Were good..hey I really hope that what ever it is your looking_

_For With nick.._

_[Lena]- Yea?_

_[Me]- Well I hope you find it Lena your beautiful and you deserve someone who treats_

_You that way_

_[Lena]-Thanks miles that means a lot he does this time.._

_I really have found it.._

We split as we went to our rooms, I was exhausted and needed rest before our show. I was shocked when I got into my room and saw who was there.


	4. Chapter 4 Kiss And Tell

**Homeward Bound**

**Miley**

**Kiss And Tell**

All I wanted was too sleep god every part of me was crying out in aches and burning. My throat was burning to the point of tears. It was like a inferno I seriously hoped that it wouldn't effect my performance tonight. More pressing then that was that my mind was even more tired then my body it felt completely numb like forming a thought was even too much. Even worse then that I was drowning in my own body fluids. I could smell myself and it wasn't pretty, a shower was needed so dang much. Some tea and sleep. All I wanted as I opened the door almost having a heart attack when I heard.

_Miley.._

His voice startled me as I looked up. What in the heck was he doing here? Great he wanted to talk but Why? Why wasn't he with Selena? He was in such a hurry to get back to her after all. I don't ever remember him rushing to get to me when we were dating?

[Me]-_Nick what's up?_

_[Nick]- I wanted to talk to you miles_

_R U sure your OK? _

_[Me]- Yea the paramedics even said I was_

_Why are you questioning me?_

_[Nick]- Cause I know you Miles_

_You always say your OK but your really not_

_You just put up a front so no one see's how much your _

_hurting._

_[Nick]- It's okay to not always so be tough.._

I melted it was so like him to be concerned it's one of the reason's girls melt for him. I could lie and and say yea. I felt great but he'd see right through me. His deep chocolate eyes were already burning through my own clear blue ones. Brushing back his brown curls he came over.

[Nick]- _Miles you don't always s have to be the_

_Tough one it's okay to need people._

I swallowed

[Me]- _Well in all honesty yea my throat hurts like_

_Crazy but it's prob from all the water ..I'll be okay it.._

_I was coughing a lot so it's prob just irritated._

_Really I am fine go be with Lena.._

He seemed to be hesitant to leave coming over touching my check . I expected to feel the butterflies I always felt when he was near me but strangely I felt none of that. It was almost a relief.

[Me]- _Nick I really need.._

His lips were on me suddenly, shocked I panicked pushing him off of me.

[Me]- _What the hell!_

_[Nick]- Oh Shit I am so sorry miles I didn't mean ..I mean_

_Oh crap miles You can't tell Lena this she'll flip out_

I stood there in shock shaking he was so not laying this on me!


	5. Chapter 5 Kiss And Tell Part Two

**Homeward Bound**

**Miley**

**Kiss And Tell Part Two**

[Me]- _Not Tell Lena! R U For Real?_

_She's Crazy about you the only reason she gave you_

_Another chance was cause you promised not lie to her ever again._

_[Nick]- I know Miley god..I know ..damn I don't know why this happened_

_How... I'm over you we broke up..damn! _

_[Me]- Well I sure as hell didn't do this.._

He started to breath heavy as he paced banging his hand against his head ...I actually felt sorry for him he looked so torn up and lost and the guilt spread across his face.

[Me]- _Nick calm down before you stress yourself out_

_And your sugar drops..._

_[Nick]- I'm okay I tested myself before I came here but thanks for_

_The concern seriously though.. I love her it's taken me a long time_

_To see it but she means the world to me_ _I can't lose her !_

_[ME]- Maybe you should of thought of that before you KISSED ME!_

_[Nick]- Don't You think I know it!_

_Just I .._

_[Me]- You have to tell her!_

_[Nick]- Why let her stay in the dark_

_What she doesn't know can't hurt her_

_[Me]- You think she won't find out?_

_For god sakes nothing is safe in our world_

_The paparazzi have spy's everywhere_

_She deserves the truth not to be lied to.. _

_[Nick]- Why should I hurt her?_

_[Me]- Cause when she finds out you lied it'll hurt her worse then_

_If you just told her!_

_Believe me I know cause I was her!_

_You need to tell her or I will..._

_Nick just man up and.._

His mouth was on me again I tried to push him off but he shoved me to the bed his hands started to climb up my shirt and I felt myself starting to melt for the curly haired brown eyed boy all over again.

**Selena**

_[Fatima Choreographer] - Once more Selena Darlin' From the top_

_You are looking great_

_[Me]- Thanks Fatima You have a great dance Choreographed here_

_You make it easy to learn._

_[Fatima]- You need a break?_

_A Drink?_

_[Me]-A drink would be great thanks but I can keep going_

_No need for a break.. just give me two seconds.._

_[Fatima]- You in a hurry today?_

She laughed

[Me]- _I'm sorry yea I am Nick's in town and well_

_I'm kind of anxious to see him.._

I could feel my face heat up as a smile spread across my face. I hated to think of Nick sitting in his hotel alone awaiting for me. His big brown eyes searching the clock as he strummed his guitar, I could still feel his arms wrapped around me as his soft but firm lips nuzzled my neck and face.

[Fatima]- _Selena Dear are you alright?_

_[ME]- huh?_

I cussed myself silently feeling my breathing increase my face heating up more as I started to sweat. Quickly I swallowed another few sips and went back to the floor. More determined to work harder as lucky as I was to have a amazing boyfriend. I was just as lucky to have this career and I couldn't have it without the hard work and discipline, it took to get here.

**Frankie J**

[Me]- _Noah?_

I was walking to the hotel pool for some quality babe watching time when I saw my best friend Noah 11 leaning against the wall behind the ice machine sweating and breathing heavy. She was shaking and pale worried I ran over to her afraid she was sick or something . Squatting next to her I started calling her name.

[Me]- _Noah..What's wrong?_

_Are You sick do you need me to get your mom? _

_Or mine if Mrs. C's Not around?_

She stared at me big eyed which scared me more she was never without words. She couldn't stop shaking . Checking her forehead I tested to see if she had a fever but she was cool to the touch just sweaty.

[Me]- _I don't think your sick you don't have a temperature_

_I'm getting your mom or mine or someone older..._

_[Noah]- No don't .._

She grabbed me pulling me down. I looked at her she was pleading with me not to say anything which worried me did she do something? See something...

_[Me]- Talk to me Noie_

_[Noah]- I saw them.._

_[Me]- Who?_

_[Noah]- Nick and Miley.._

I was confused why was she looking so pale and so shaky she saw Nick and Miley all the time they were our siblings after all, they use to date they work together heck their friends finally. Sitting besides her which was not easy since it was such a tight area. Placing my hand over her's I squeezed it talking to her.

[Me]- _Noah You have to talk to me_

_Why are you so scared so you saw nick and Miley big deal_

_Were they fighting?_

She closed her eyes breathing heavy she didn't answer right away I stared at her.

[Noah]- _Worse_

_[ME]- What's worse?_

_[Noah]- They were kissing …_

_[Me]- WHAT!_

Banging my head back I slapped my hand No they couldn't Jesus why now? After everything we had been through the hate the war the fan divisions the media, didn't they know what it did to Noah and I ?

We had been friends since we were babies but when they split our families made us stay away. They had no idea what it was like not to be able to see my best friend. Taking a deep breath I put my hand over her forehead brushing her hair back her eyes welled up.

We both sat there stunned her head fell against my shoulder. After a few minutes I finally got up the courage to ask her.

[Me]- _What exactly did you see?_

She sighed and looked at me her amazing eyes were filled with confusion fear and something else I didn't know what it was.

[Noah]-I_ was in miley's room looking through her closet and ..well_

_Here see for yourself.._

She pulled out a camcorder which I quickly looked at what was recorded. After I saw it I was shaking as much as her I'm sure..Poor Selena I can't believe my brother would do that to her! She is so sweet and she really loves him.

[Noah]- _What do we do with this?_

_[Me]- Nothing.._

_[Noah]- Selena should know but miles she's my sissy_

_[Me]- Stay out of this hide this Cd burn it whatever_

_Just get rid of it Nick should tell her or miles not us.._

_[Noah]- You sure?_

_[Me]- Were eleven yes I'm sure..._

_Nick is the one who Kissed Miles_

_He should Tell Selena_

_Come on lets swim.._


	6. Chapter 6 Critical

**Homeward Bound**

**This Chapter Is Rated M For Extensive Sexual Acts Do not Read if You are uncomfortable**

**With Femslash , are offended by sexual material ..**

**Thanks to all my lovely Reviews u rock!**

**Miley**

**Critical**

I was fuming when I pushed him off for the second time my face must have been six shades of red . He backed up not knowing what to say ..

[Me]- _Out Just Get out..._

He stood there open mouthed

[Mandy]- _What's going on?_

_Why do you look like you were about to kill him?_

_[Demi]-Yea Miles you look pissed thought you were taking a nap_

[Joe]- _Nick Dude why do I get the feeling she's mad at you?_

_[Nick]- Not now Bro not now_

_[Me]- Out! _

_[Joe]- Well alright don't know what I did but be that way miles_

_[Me]- Not you him!_

I pointed at Nick he sighed storming out...

[Nick]- _This isn't over Miley Ray!_

_[Me]- It is as far as I'm concerned_

Everyone watched as he stormed out Demi looked at me concern filling her eyes Joe just looked confused and Mandy looked pissed.

[ME]- _Can You Two just go please I need to talk to Mandy_

By now the tears were forming and I was almost in a full blown panic attack .I didn't love him anymore not like that I was in love with Mandy, I didn't want to hurt her. Pacing so much that the room started to spin .I felt my breathing become so fast it hurt, Mandy was by my side with her arms around me asking me telling me to calm down.

I couldn't my blood was racing who the hell was he to come in here and and do that to me then to ask me to lie to her! Didn't he understand what these last two years were like for me always being the bad guy having everyone hating on me. Why would he do this when I was finally getting on track I was happy and I was in love again with the most amazing sweetest woman ever. Just because he was one of the hottest ,sexiest , talented youngest teen idols out there didn't mean he could come in and wreck havoc on my life. Well he may be able to look at Selena and lie but I couldn't do that to Mandy..

She was standing behind me as I leaned against the wall her hands on my shoulders rubbing me down as the tears spilled out.

[Mandy]- _Talk to me sweetie what the hell did he say_

_What did he do to make you feel like this?_

_I haven't seen you this upset since he broke up with you._

Taking a deep breath I turned and buried myself into her arms she wrapped them around me running her hands over my back kissing my head as my tears drenched her my back heaving, I felt her hand caressing my face as she kissed my check .

_[ME]- He kissed me twice _

_[Mandy]- Did you kiss him back?_

_[Me]- No! Of course not!_

_[Mandy]- So screw him he needs to work it out with Selena_

_Are you okay?_

_[Me]- No..I love you please don't be mad!_

She brushed my hair back rocking me .

[Mandy] – I'm_ not mad I love you and _

_I love that you were honest with me_

_Sweetie it's all I care about as long as you can _

_Tell me the truth and know what it is yourself_

_I can't be mad then_

_[Me]- You are amazing _

_[Mandy]- No just human _

She brushed my hair back and kissed my face. I felt myself come alive again as she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me up our lips connected the kiss was very soft but it was full of passion and so tender she made my knees buckle I felt myself fight against their weakening state as I pulled on her collar she pushed her hands up the back of my shirt making me moan in pleasure softly into her mouth.

I broke apart the kiss for a mere two seconds just enough time to tear my shirt off as I felt her hands glide up over my thighs my back and my stomach till they reached my breasts my skin tingled at her cool touch. Our lips did the tangle as she gasped for air yet she never broke the kiss concerned I tried to break apart to give her time but she was like a hungry child who had been deprived of food and water for weeks she needed the nourishment my kisses gave her our legs started to wobble as our bodies swayed under the strain of staying up right as our bodies started to over flow with the _sensual_

affects our emotions were over riding she made a loud gasp of pleasure as I ran trailed my fingers over the back of her neck feeling the hair standing up as I grabbed her head pulling into the kiss deeper so deep her tongue was moving along my checks into the back of my throat. I wanted her so damn much it hurt ! I felt my whole body calling to her wanting to feel her touch me lick me make love to me..I loved hearing her moan so I started sucking on her neck bringing her to such a state of intensity her legs finally couldn't hold her anymore so she picked me up and carried me to the bed.

Laying under her I continued my decent with my lips teasing her by licking her collar bone as her hands unhooked my bra her eyes smiled wide as she gave a sigh of pleasure her lips found a new destination as they attacked my breasts my left first shocking me as her warm lips touched the top of my cold nipple causing me to gasp and she laughed slightly .payback I thought viciously teasing her to the full extent that I could I ran my nails over her legs up to her inner thighs the jean fabric prevented me from getting to close but I was close enough to feel her vagina tense up as it started to warm suppressing the urge to scream as my nipples started to harden her mouth brought me to new senses taking up my revenge further I ran my palm over her private just to get a arouse out of her which believe me I did bad her moans and pleads gave me great satisfaction till I did too much and she just tore her own shorts off I laughed mercilessly almost chocking on my own saliva as she grabbed my arm pulling my fingers to move them over to her now wet vagina, she was attacking my right breasts with enough hurry to wake the dead. Deciding not to be a bitch anymore I gladly took her hand and let her lead me to where she needed the most attention she shoved my fingers straight in , there's nothing like that feeling of being inside the person you love the most it's warm and comforting like warm waves of energy starting slow at first to build up the pleasure almost to slow painful like but without the real sense you get from pain..if that makes any sense? Then the whole body starts to tingle advent by her soft cries she was now making and the deep ohs ..I picked up speed so did her breathing and her moans

then when it feels like you can't take it anymore something pops inside she gasped letting out a cry as everything inside of her exploded into my hand dripping down my fingers she looked at me unable to suck any longer her breathing rapid as she tried to slow it down I kissed her lips her face was on fire so red and her eyes were wild. I kissed her face trying to help her calm down as she fell on top of me , my fingers were sticky and wet but I didn't care I ran them over her body pulling up her shirt she took a moment to recover as she called my name and thanked me. I smiled letting her know how she could thank me she took a deep breath and looked me straight into the eyes almost asking as if I was unsure but damn I had never been so sure of anything in my life I smiled and nodded .

My moans filled the air as I lifted her shirt off and crawled on top of her. I felt her fingers slide inside of me as our mouths locked with each others silencing the moans my whole body was alive .She was amazing she tasted sweet like cranberries and cream. Turning her over so she was on top of me I caressed her face and just took a moment to look at her she smiled sweetly at me her deep eyes looking into mine asking me if I was sure again as I kissed her lips and savored her body damn she was gorgeous her full 36 c cup breasts her flat firm stomach her tanned toned legs . My breath was ragged . I was worried I had no idea what I was doing this was such a critical step in our relationship but she kept reassuring me I was pleasing her my lips left no part of her untouched as her tongue did things inside my vagina. I never knew could be done I was careful not to scream too loud no one could know what we were doing . ..I gripped her back as she filled me up her tongue exploring my insides my juices flowing to meet her mouth her hands caressing my legs. Exhausted and sweating I collapsed on my back.

Laying there wrapped in her arms I felt nothing but undying pure selfless love. Watching her sleep as she lay there in my arms was pure heaven.

**Nick**

Selena was sleeping next to me her head on my chest as I laid watching her god she was so amazing so gorgeous so sweet so trusting.

The look on her face when I walked in was enough to make me turn into the biggest coward. I was set to tell her just like miles had screamed at me to do. Miley why couldn't I get her off my mind! We had broken up long ago . Yet as soon as I heard she had almost drowned all my feelings had come rushing back seeing her laying there helpless and so blue had scared the shit out of me the thought of losing her terrified me. Maybe that's why I kissed her just to know she was alright but it didn't excuse it I was with Selena.

I had a speech prepared I had brought a dozen roses ..talking to myself as I knocked on her door , I took a deep breath. I was sweating and felt sick she would hate me, hell I hated myself she would have every right to hate me. Then she called out my name coughing to clear my throat I answered as the door swung open and I gasped.

Selena stood there in a sheer black Lingerie which was split on the sides which had silky red hearts on them, gasping I had to grab the door frame so I wouldn't pass out my god she was like a goddess. Her hair held it's form curving around her cute face her eyes sparkling her face completely lite up when she saw my reaction.

[Selena]- _Aw Nicky you didn't have to do this!_

_Thank you.._

She took the flowers her delicate fingers lacing themselves around mine as she wrapped herself in my arms.

[Selena] – _Baby are you okay your sweating and shaking _

_Did you check your numbers?_

What was with everyone and my numbers I had been a diabetic since I was 11, I knew how to take care of myself. Her concern made me feel even more like a jerk however holding her in my arms feeling her heart beating so steady . Looking into her eyes as I felt her shudder made me feel like a loser..she must be freezing standing in the hall almost nude quickly looking around making sure no one saw us. I held her and took her inside wrapping my shirt around her. She laid her head on my shoulder the gasping went on she must have been setting this up for hours the room was decorated with hearts and candles stars a cooked dinner of all my favorites. We ate telling stories of our day,she got teary eyes as she told me bout the incident with miles .I took her in my arms and kissed her assuring her I believed her that it was a accident. Taking her hand I put on some soothing music and we started to dance holding her close she leaned her head on my shoulder as we swayed. She reached up and brushed my hair back staring into my eyes. I smiled to reassure her I loved her curling my fingers tighter around her tiny waist I breathed in her sweet intoxicating smell. Leading me up to her lips which I nibbled on slightly till she parted and allowed me full access her hands pulling my head closer as she gasped.

She returned the kiss fully as I picked her up leading her to the bed where she asked me to make love to her and told me she loved me and she trusted me and she needed to feel me inside of her.

I needed to hear her moans and whimpers as I ran my hands over her perfect skin trying to warm her up as I tasted her sweet full lips she called my name sexy so I lowered her dress which fell over her ankles lifting her up with one arm. She wrapped her legs around my waist running my hands over her cute firm butt which caused her to giggle moving my lips to her neck .I started to suck rubbing her breasts laying her down on the huge tan slick bed she sucked in her breath..

[Selena]-_Nicky promise me something?_

_[Me]- What is it baby? Damn you taste amazing_

I couldn't get enough of her kisses ,of her taste. I felt myself growing hard as every minute passed. Without waiting I tore off my clothes moving over her looking at her amazing body as I kissed every part from her thighs to her legs to her stomach her shoulders those amazing juicy breasts which seemed to be calling to be sucked on making her moan long and hard. She was still at first but at every passing kiss she came more alive till her fingers interlocked with mine and I guided them to my member, where she caught on quickly what I needed slow at first scared and hesitant kissing her lips pulling her close so she wouldn't feel alone I let her know I needed her..

[Selena]- _Can I ask you please?_

She was close to tears.

[ME]- _I'm sorry baby go ahead_

_What do you wanna ask?_

I brushed back her hair looking into her eyes stopping what I was doing damn she was so young so scared .I felt like a jackass but I knew I would do anything to protect her. I loved her that much I was sure in that moment I knew. I may always love miles but Selena was doing for me what miles never would,

_[Selena]- I'm scared Nick really scared everyone says it hurts so bad_

_Please go easy on me.._

_[Me]- Oh baby I will it doesn't hurt the way people say_

_I promise I'll take care of you but you need to relax it's worse_

_When your scared and tense.._

_[Selena]-Kiss me help me relax.._

_I love you Nickolas _

_[Me]- My pleasure Lena I love you too_

Kissing soon moved to touching I ran my finger over her opening she was tense I could feel her tighten up and I was afraid of hurting her so I moved my mouth down to her private and licked her V-lips she whimpered as my tongue began to play ball, inserting itself inside to taste a variety of salty buttermilk her walls began to crumble as I started to suck and kiss using my hands to hold her open to grant deeper access. Her whimpers turned to a sea of cries of pleasure her legs started to shake pushing them down so I could crawl on top and get deeper action made her scream in pleasure as her sweet and sour juices filled my mouth my hands made work of feeling her breasts my tongue running over her nipples making her moan deeper while I felt her hands start to rub my member slowly gathering speed making me grow harder and bigger with each stroke. Finally I felt myself start to cum just as she came inside my mouth her scream filled the pillow case as she bite down, quickly I took the pillow case away and slide myself inside her mouth where she eagerly started to suck and give me the best damn blow job ever..she was prepared for this part she had the vibrator ready which I made fast and easy work with her screams rewarded me. Once she was nice and wet and loose I slipped on the condom and used some lube before I asked her if she was sure she nodded kissing me, I held her kiss as I slipped it in she tensed again but I made quick work of running my fingers over the outside she tingled her shaven vagina made it easy to enter she gripped my arms calling me softly as I pushed inside scared to hurt her as she gasped and begged me not to hurt her I promised as I kissed her I would be quick groaning.

Pushing and thrusting hard her breath in hailed as she cried out I felt her juices flowing mixing with her warm blood which is when I knew I was inside she cried tears rolling down her face which I kissed away hating that I made her cry but then her cries turned to moans of pleasure as I thrusted inside deeper and faster making her body start to rock. Our bodies moved as one as she held me and we rolled so she was on top. Pushing her hair back I kissed her neck making her squeal.

I was a chicken a big fat horny teenage loser .I kissed my ex and lied to my current and made love to her.

She was sleeping so peacefully god she was even more of an amazing lover then .I could of imagine ..restless I couldn't sleep..so I went to the piano and stared to play ..

_There's a storm coming up  
and I gotta prepare myself.  
'Cause this felling'  
getting stronger everyday._

Something's creeping inside  
everything is about to change.  
Gotta face the fact  
that I can't walk away.

This is critical,  
I'm feeling helpless.  
So hysterical, this can't be healthy.  
I can't eat or sleep  
when you're not with me.  
Baby, you're the air breath.  
This is critical, yeah.  
So stuck on you.

Used to have everything figured out  
but it's different now.  
When you came, you saw  
you conquered my heart.

It's your laugh and your smile;  
wanna stay for a little while.  
I don't wanna go,  
I just want you in my arms.

This is critical,  
I'm feeling helpless.  
So hysterical, this can't be healthy.  
I can't eat or sleep  
when you're not with me.  
Baby, you're the air breath.  
This is critical, yeah.  
So stuck on you.

Used to run and hide.  
Used to bend our love.  
But I can't run away this time.  
Oh no.

This is critical,  
I'm feeling helpless.  
So hysterical, this can't be healthy.  
I can't eat or sleep  
when you're not with me.  
You're the air breath.  
This is critical, yeah.

Baby it's so critical,  
it's so critical, yeah.  
It's so critical,  
it's so critical, yeah 

_[Selena] Aw nick you never have to worry _

_I'm always right here_

_Thanks for being so gentle.._

_I Love you.._

She wrapped her arms around me pressing her naked body to me as she pointed to my heart god she thought it was about her. If only she knew it wasn't all about her..but I couldn't tell her..what could I do?

Pull her to me kiss her deep and lay her down on the piano and make love to her all evening is what I did hearing her moans fill my ears feeling her breasts bounce up and down as I sucked on them. Feeling myself get harder as I pulsed inside of her making her scream her juices over flowing all over me . She let out a exhausted squeak as she collapsed. Calling my name I kissed her sweet lips and lifted her up carrying her to the bed where we made love again.

Joe pounded on the door at some point telling us to get ready for the concert, neither one of us wanted to move.


	7. Chapter 7 Take Me Along

**Homeward Bound**

**Miley**

**Take Me Along**

_[Mom] " Miley Dear..._

_Oh My Lord..._

_[ME] Oh My God Mom!_

I screamed as I shot up and gasped grabbing the sheets as my mom stood in the doorway with her hand over her mouth, her face beat red. I couldn't see my face but I could feel it becoming just as dark shaded. Mandy slept soundly next to me. If she wasn't so damn cute and so gorgeous. I would of killed her for leaving me to face this alone. Suddenly I felt how small and thin the sheets were which were trying to cover my plump breasts.

[Ashlee]- _Tish are you.._

_[Me]- Don't come in Ash.._

Too late her and Jen two of my oldest dancers came in they just started laughing,

[Ash]- _It's about time you two hooked up damn gurl_

_{Jennifer]- You Owe Me Ash! 100 dollars pay up _

_Son'_

_[Ash]- Screw that I ain't payin u shit woman.._

_[Mom]- Miley put some clothes on We Need To Talk Now!_

Jen and Ashlee gave me pitted looks mouthing that they wouldn't tell as they closed the door. I swallowed as I tried to carefully crawl out of bed while still maintaining my dignity. Mom stormed into the kitchen her breathing ragged as I went into the bathroom feeling dizzy oh shit she was mad what was she going to do? She could not ground me for this all I did was make out with her it wasn't like we had sex. Besides she loved Mandy ..maybe if I convinced her that she was respectful of me and treated me like I was the most precious thing alive then she wouldn't be so mad. Deep breaths I told myself as I washed up something I didn't want to do I wanted to keep her scent and hold onto her forever. I felt sick so sick like I was going to throw up my breathing was crazy I tried to calm myself my heart couldn't take too much stress I held my hand over it trying to reassure myself Mom loved me she would never disown me or be disgusted.

Looking into the mirror I groaned my hair was a mess my makeup smeared dang my face looked fat what did she ever see in me? This being on the road was killing me I had to lose weight and look presentable ..

_[Mom] – Miley Ray get out here now!_

Sighing dang she was not cooling down . I quickly grabbed something to wear and threw it on coming out I told myself to just be strong and you can handle whatever. She just had to understand if she didn't I would die. I was freezing not being in her arms, wrapping my arms around myself .I prepared myself mentally. Mom was standing in the kitchen staring out the window I came up behind her but didn't speak. Maybe she would cool off and just let it die..no suck luck as soon as the thought entered my mind she squashed it by spinning around our eyes locked I felt myself sink. I couldn't speak what could I say? She had caught me I had sinned. I had broken a promise maybe not in the full sense of the word but enough. I swallowed and stood waiting..should I speak or stay silent.

[Mom]- S_it down we need to discuss this.._

_[Me]- No Mom we don't need to discuss this I made a decision and _

_I don't regret it...you can't tell me who to love or what to .._

_[Mom]- Miley Ray just be quite and listen _

_I know and I'm not mad..I'm shocked ..that you _

_Finally admitted your feelings but I'm not surprised_

_You feel the way you do Mandy has been your rock_

_And I always knew she cared for you more_

_Then just as a friend _

_[Me]- You did?_

Yea so shocked didn't cover it how many people knew before I did? Was I really that blinded? Mom just stared at me and smiled. Taking my hand she squeezed it.

[Mom]- Y_our my daughter miles of course I knew momma's always know_

_What their kids are feeling that's part of being momma's._

_I just need to know were you safe?_

_[Me]- Mom she's a girl I can't get preggers_

I laughed slightly she shock her head.

[Mom]- _Darling you make me laugh no of course not but you can_

_Still be infected you can still get sick_

_I'm not saying I don't trust Mandy but your my baby_

_I have to make sure_

_I would never forgive myself if something happened to you_

_[Me] -Mom chill I'm fine Mandy's been to the doctors we both have_

_Were fine and she was gentle and sweet and respectful _

_Why aren't you mad mom? I was so scared you would be.._

_[Mom]-Cause I love you baby and I always told you to follow your heart_

_Mandy makes you smile like no one else can so I trust her_

_I trust you to do what's right..but be careful sweetie not everyone_

_Will share the same feelings I do there's a lot of judgmental_

_Idiots out there.._

_[Me]- I know Thanks mommy I love you.._

I crawled into her lap like when I was a kid she smiled and hugged me holding me to her kissing my head. I felt safe in her arms and like I could conquer the world.

[Mom]-_ I love you to darling girl always and forever.._

_[Mom]- Go On And Get your baby up_

_it's almost showtime and Kris wants her there early_

_[Me]-Okay momma _

I rested my head against her check as she pushed my hair back rocking me. We stayed that way for a few minutes ...I wanted her to have some time to sleep so I went into the other room and started playing my keyboard with my headsets..I was working on my song to perfect it for tonight's performance...

_I, I don't understand why your leaving me_

_I, I don't understand, now without you I can't breath_

_Please don't, don't leave me here_

_Take my hand and I'll plead into tears_

_I don't understand why you can't_

_Take me with you_

_You can pretend that I don't need this_

_She'll see my face every time you kiss_

_I hope you hurt when your walls fall down_

_When you hear the sound that I'm okay_

_I'll be okay_

_If you can hold me down I will you forever_

Sighing it just wasn't getting right I sat down this would take awhile but I wasn't leaving till it was right.

_I watched you leave I'm awake tonight_ _And I'm ready to go for the last time_ _And through the tears I say goodbye_ _So breath in, breath in, breath in, breath out_

_[Ash]- Try rearranging the cords here..._

I was shocked to see her there but as soon as I did I jumped and squealed hugging her she laughed as she took me in her arms spinning me after we settled she helped me rearrange the cords before I knew it time had crept away and I had to go wake Mandy up.

I went back into the room to wake her up. It was too tempting the covers were wrinkled and thrown around leaving her legs bare on the left side exposing her butt check grinning cause I knew she would kill me for this. I grabbed a wet towel from the bathroom and stood over her for a minute. I almost hated to do it cause damn she looked gorgeous and so peaceful. Still she needed to get up so I whipped it and smacked her butt she woke up instantly screaming. I laughed as her big eyes scanned the room for the soon to be dead person that had just done it.

[Mandy]-O_h my god no you did not just do that!_

_You are going to be dead sooner then even you think!_

_Get that butt over here!_

I squealed as she jumped up and chased me I cried out no as she tackled me tickling me beating me as I laughed and didn't fight her. I just fell and hit her with the towel. She grabbed me and pushed me down on my back as I squealed and kicked …

_[Me]- Mandy no oh god no!_

_[Mandy]- Squeal it Miley what did you say!_

_[Me]- No .._

_[Mandy]-No what?_

She pushed my arms over my head holding me down as I laughed...

[Mandy]- _Say it Miley or I'll.._

_[Me]- You'll what come on say it .._

I surprised her by tickling her stomach as she squealed trying to fight me off but I kneed her in the lower section she grunted as I crawled away for a minute before she grabbed my legs and dragged me back we were both laughing so hard tears were coming down..she collapsed on top of me breathing heavy.

[Me]- _What you going to do?_

She looked at me and grinned.

[Mandy]- _Let go.._

_[Me]- And if I say the words what will you do?_

_[Mandy]- It's up to you what do you say child?_

_[Me]-Don't let go Please don't.._

_[Mandy]- If that's what you want? _

_[Me]- Yes it is you know what else I want?_

_[Mandy]- No.._

She looked me in the eyes ..I loved her eyes I could stare into them all day ..

[Me]-_ For you To Kiss me_

_[Mandy Whispering]- Your mom is watching.._

_[Me]- I know_

I pulled her close and kissed her long not even seeing that mom was recording till the end where I of course pulled her down further.

**Selena**

When I woke up I could barely remember what it felt like to not wake up in Nick's arms and I didn't want to remember because I was loving it so much. He was laying there completely passed out not even flinching as I ran my hand over his face through his curls, kissing his bare chest. I couldn't believe how amazing I felt like I had the energy to run around the whole state and never get tired. I smiled he brought that out in me, this night couldn't get better I had just made love for the first time to the most amazing boy. I was about to preform in front of millions of fans and I was so happy. I didn't even want to think of the days gone by when I use to think and pine away for Nick and wonder why.

I didn't care what anyone said about this being wrong or right that I was suppose to be a role model that he was suppose to be waiting till marriage. We were in love we were honest to each other and someday he will be the one I marry so why wait? Time is short after all right? Before I knew it he would be touring one side of the country and I would be on my own tour on the other all I wanted was for him to take me along but he couldn't ..I couldn't so all we could do was hold onto now.

**Demi**

_[Joe]-Bacon!_

_[Me]- Huh?_

_[Joe]- I wish I could shoot Bacon out of my eyes aw man what a super_

_Power that would be.._

_[Kevin]- Ah sweet ready to eat fully cooked BACON! _

_I want some Bacon!_

Danielle and I just looked at each other while the boys were playing cards and trying to out beat each other in crazy wacky ideas. All I could do was shake my head Joe could crack me up with even the simplest of words. This was the type of day I loved we were in the boys hotel room music blaring as we ate room service snacks and sodas as we chatted and watched videos on the computer just spending time with family was the best to me. Kevin was my future brother in law Joe was the love of my life. , Danielle Kevin's wife was cracking up like crazy as Joe was egging Kev on ..

[Joe]- _ I'm going to go make Bacon!_

_[Kevin]- No Joe Stay away from the appliances _

_No one let him near anything sharp or any thing breakable_

_Man the Kitchen..._

Kevin stood up arms held wide as Joe ran past trying to get into the restricted area Dani and I quickly got into the act . Joe was like a lost puppy . I grabbed the bacon and threw the pan at Dani and we took off ..

[Joe] -_Give me that pan now!_

_I want BACON!_

_[Kevin]- Joe can't have Bacon!_

_[Joe]- Joe wants Bacon !_

_Danielle give me that pan!_

_[Danielle] Or what?_

_[Joe]- Or this.._

Without warning Joe switched directions and attacked me his fingers tickled me under my arms .I was trying so hard not to laugh as I tried to run while having Joe jumping on my back laughing as he pulled me down. I squealed trying to break out of his grip but he held strong till I broke and cried out for him to never stop he pinned me down laying on top of me pushing my hair back .I stopped laughing and he smiled..

[Joe]- _My charm worked again _

_[Me]- Yea it has nothing to do with your knee in my stomach _

_[Joe]- Of course not who can resist the magical charm of Joseph Adam _

_[Me]- Not me that's for sure.._

I grinned as his grip loosened and instead he held me close .I looked into his eyes and our lips moved to each others. His kisses felt amazing smooth like butter and sweet like sugar. Sighing when we broke apart I lay there looking up into his eyes...

[Kevin] – U_h get a room bro _

_[Joe]- I have one dork _

_[Kevin]- So go to it_

_[Joe]- I'm in it _

_[Kevin]- Well get out and find another_

Joe looked at me as if to say and I'm the dumb one? I laughed softly these guys could always crack me up.

[Joe]-_Seriously dude just chill_

_[Kevin]- Nick Tell him he needs to go fondle his.._

_Nick! Hey where's Nick?_

_[Joe]-Nick? Yea come to think of it I haven't seen him since rehearsal _

_Dems you seen him?_

_[Me]- No I'll call Lena he prob with her or checking on miles_

Her cell went straight to voice mail strange I thought...

[Joe]- _Hey I hear strange noises and giggles coming from Lena's room_

_I'll go ask her go pee Demi _

_[Me]- Huh how did you..._

_[Joe]- I could feel you squirming and I know I didn't do that to you_

_At least not yet..._

I blushed as we both got up he held his hand out and I took it we kissed as I ran to the bathroom and he ran to her hotel room..

_[Kevin]- What is she doing over there?_

_[Me]- Yea I wonder she always answers her phone_

_Unless she's sleeping or she's..._

I ran out of the bathroom Kevin looked at me...I looked at him Danielle burst out laughing with squeals of oh my gods …

[Me and Kevin]- J_oe!_

_NO!_

**A/N Okay so I know I'm getting hits which is awesome and I want to thank everyone who reads this but what would be even more awesome would be some sweet reviews. I don't have to stress how much effort goes into writing a chapter cause I'm sure y'all know what it takes. So pls if u could just hit that little button down there and say something that would be great but keep it clean pls. Thanks to everyone who is reading u all make me smile. **


	8. Chapter 8 Your Still There For Me

**Homeward Bound**

**Your Still There For Me**

**Miley**

**A/N So according to my lawyer I do not own Hannah Montana sniff, sniff..As for Miley ,Demi Selena well their real people so yea it's illegal to own them..last names changed r not mentioned to protect them. Enjoy..**

_[Me]- Thank you all so much for coming out here and Supporting_

_Such an amazing cause it means so much to all of us_

_And having all of you take part in it_

_Makes it even better it shows what we can really do_

_If we all band Together and proves_

_That Kids can change what is said to be unchangeable_

_This is the part of the job that really matters not the glitz and glamor_

_Thou that's all sweet but this is what life truly counts for is doing_

_Something to help others who aren't as blesses as me..So thank you all again_

_I love you.._

_Who's ready to rock?_

_I can't hear you!_

_LOUDER!_

I held out the mic as I paced the stage trying to get my breathing even again. I had been preforming for

over a hour and a half and my heart was feeling it, beating like crazy. I prayed silently that it wouldn't go wacky on me there is never a moment on stage where I'm not thinking about my heart ever since I was diagnosed with Tachycardia when I was 13 years old. It's not dangerous I mean it won't kill me but it sure is scary, Tach comes from the Greek language it means rapid or accelerated, kardia means heart. I have to avoid caffeine any time before I am going to preform which sucks since I love my coke! The drink y'all not the drug!

The audience was Crazy! Giving me the type of energy I thrive off. Quickly I moved across the stage trying to get the whole front rows. I was sweating my legs were throbbing but Dang I was loving it dancing with my dancers jamming with my guitar players laughing and singing my soul out. I missed having Mandy up here with me but I was so proud of her that it helped ease that missing. I turned raising my arm as I rocked out as my head from the corner of my left eye I saw Mandy sitting on the side of the stage on my mom's knee both watching me and smiling I blew a kiss feeling so lucky to have them. I just hoped they knew how much I loved them!

We rocked out to a few of my fast beating songs as we danced the audience was eating it up which made me smile as I slapped hands running across stage. Right before I started a slower song as I took a few deep breaths, I looked out at the audience and took in all the kids with family members ,friends and I wondered how many were missing someone they loved? Jen brought me some water which I gave her a hug for and gulped down eagerly as I whispered Thank you she smiled returning to her place on stage.

_How Many of you here tonight know someone in the armed forces?_

_I bet you are missing the right now , worried_

_Well I bet they feel the same _

_It doesn't really matter why you miss someone_

_It just matters that you do so this song is for all you_

_Who are missing someone you love tonight.._

_To all the Men and Woman who are fighting for us_

_Thank you For keeping us Safe we owe Our freedom To You_

_Sunrise and I lifted my head  
Then I Smiled at your picture  
Sitting next to my bed  
Sunset and your feeling ok  
Cuz your smile at the letter  
That I sent ya today  
And I cant wait till i see you again  
And I hope we'll remember when  
The band played on the 4th of July  
And you held me on your shoulders  
way up high_

You're still there for me  
Where ever there might be  
And if an ocean lies between us  
I'll send message across the sea  
But you can't sleep tonight  
Knowing it's alright  
I believe that you will listen to my song  
You're with me  
You're been here all along (2x)

Back then you walk me to school  
Told me to be careful  
And to follow the rules  
Fast forward you taught me to drive  
You give me the keys and we went for a ride  
And I cant wait till i see you again  
And i both say remember when  
I'm holding on to moments like that  
And I know that they're coming back

You're still there for me  
Where ever there might be  
And if an ocean lies between us  
I'll send message across the sea  
But you can't sleep tonight  
Knowing it's alright  
I believe that you will listen to my song  
You're with me  
You're been here all along

Yeah!  
All long the way  
to hear you in my heart and in my breath  
you'll always be the one who cares the most  
counting all the days  
I see you running up  
to say I miss you  
I MISS YOU!

You're still there for me  
Where ever there might be  
And if an ocean lies between us  
I'll send message across the sea  
But you can't sleep tonight  
Knowing it's alright  
I believe that you will listen to my song

You're still there for me  
Where ever there might be  
And if an ocean lies between us  
I'll send message across the sea  
But you can't sleep tonight  
Knowing it's alright  
I believe that you will listen to my song  
You're with me  
Cuz You're with me!

You're been here all along(2x)  
Yeah... 

I thought of Mandy as I sung and how much I would miss her when we were apart she smiled at me as if to say it was okay. I knew it would be cause we were both doing what we loved. Fire works went off as I jumped off a step arm pulled back sliding to my knee's laughing inside so total rock star.

**Demi**

I watched as she preformed she was lighting up the stage everyone loved her why wouldn't they? She was the number one selling teenage artiest out today she was vibrant and sexy she was happy and for years she had set a positive role model for kids. Sure things had been rocky lately she was growing up exploring her new roles in life in art and people wanted to tear her down critics loved to hate her but her fans her true fans will always stand by her as evident by their out pouring of love tonight teens holding up signs with her name on them and their messages of support and love there were still a sea of Team Miley and Mandy signs but not like there was 3 years ago, god I hated to think back to that time things were so tense I was just starting to make it big. If I closed my eyes tight enough I could still conquer up those feelings of fear and nerves of how it felt to be preforming for all these screaming fans

who weren't here for me they were all screaming for Miley For Selena not for me but it was my job to get them pumped up for her to keep them entertained. Miley was so nice to me offering me encouragement and advice without being pushy. She was cute and energetic and so pretty, plus she knew all about this life I was just getting in tangled in. we loved the same things and shared the same jokes she was dating Nick and I was staring in Camp Rock with the boys I heard stories all the time on set about her Kevin's lil sis who he loved to protect Joe's partner in Crime P. I. C and Nick's Love .I wanted to meet her and when we did instant bff's life was perfect till the middle of tour then the Drama started Nick dumped her he cheated on her with my Real Life Bff Selena and yea I knew all about it before it happened. I knew Lena wanted him from the moment she saw them together she liked him. She wanted him she wanted what miles had. Everything! What did I do? Nothing..Cause I couldn't betray Lena we'd been best friends since we were 7. It wasn't like it made her a bad person cause she isn't I love Lena she's the sweetest most sensitive caring person I know, she loves animals she once rescued a puppy by risking her life to climb down a mountain side to pull it out of oil almost falling off herself. She bathed it took it to a vet paid hundreds for it to get treatment she stayed by his side nursed it back to health. She prayed and the puppy made it she named him Prince her family kept it. Selena doesn't have a malice bone in her body. She didn't set out to hurt miles, but she did … we did in the end.

I remember the day well. Selena had brought me with her as her special guest to her first Disney get together . Every month once a month Disney invites all the cast members to get together at a restaurant in La called Rascals. It's like a Dave n busters with games and laser tag plus a diner fun for all ages. It's a must for everyone in town to attend they hold meetings there updates what's going on with each show that cast members need to know they give out rewards for anyone who has demonstrated positive leadership in the community. Selena was being introduced to everyone that night she was so excited. She was allowed to invite her parents plus one I was that one. Miles wasn't there that night she was touring but he was there. JB was in talks to get their own show plus they were on tour with her.

We got lost on the way there so we were late, she was panicking almost in tears I was trying to calm her down. She was a mess when we first got there so we tried to find a bathroom and she tripped falling down the steps right into his arms. I was gasping from shock he was cute she was shaking and so embarrassed but he was so sweet making sure she was okay and helping her up taking her hand and leading her to the family bathroom where he grabbed a washcloth wiping her face she was so still. I could only watch as he joked with her and cleaned her face telling her she was too beautiful to cry which made her melt really she did look amazing in a short black jean skirt that brought out her sexy tanned legs and a short red and white cashmere one shoulder halter it came down her right side and clung to body like a goddess, It was backless and really brought her gorgeous olive skin out. Nick was memorized by her I saw it in his eyes. He couldn't take his eyes off of her even though she could barely say two words. Her whole face was flushed red , he kissed her check and begged her not to cry telling her that she was lighting to him, fast and beautiful lighting up his dark sky. Cheesy I know but so sweet. He told her later as they played skee ball and I hung with his brother Joe that he was in a bad place he was starting to get famous and he was so busy that he was starting to feel distant from his girlfriend over whelmed by her fame and wanting to break free of her image make it on his own but he didn't want to hurt her. He took Selena on as his new friend showing her around introducing her around making her feel like she was the only one that mattered. Lena had no choice she was fallen for him from that moment. I remember the look on her face as we walked home that night. she couldn't stop gushing I remember her telling me she was going to be his girlfriend one day. No matter what.

What could I say? She was in love and I had never seen her so happy Lena was not one to trust or fall easy she didn't let people in often afraid of getting hurt. I didn't know miles so why should I say anything he was fair game as far as I was concerned.

Miley was almost done for now she was now on 7 things and it made me bury my head was she reading my frigging mind? Why was I thinking about this now anyway? I looked around where was Lena? I searched my eyes needing time to adjust to the darkened foggy theater till I saw her backstage on the other side she was watching her as well. There was no trace of hate or anger though her face was relaxed too relaxed she had a dreamy look her eyes far off what was going on with her? Something had happened tonight what had gone down inside her room? I needed to talk to her , as if she knew what I was thinking she looked over at me and smiled mouthing I need to talk asap after wards .I nodded smiling. Then I saw him looking from the audience in disguise he was watching miles lost in his own world his face unreadable all I could think about was if he hurt my best friend. I would kill him.

Miley had slowed things down a bit saying she was doing a cover by Lee Marlin called Heaven is a place nearby...I saw her looking into Mandy's eyes...but as I swayed I wondered where was heaven really? Was in somewhere up far away where we couldn't see? Or was it in the eyes of ones you loved? Judging by the way Selena was looking at Nick , Nick was looking at miles and miles was looking at Mandy . I wondered if heaven could really be hell and was it right here on earth if so where did we all go? When this life was done?

_I entered the room  
Sat by your bed all through the night  
I watched your daily fight  
I hardly knew  
The pain was almost more than I could bear  
And still I hear  
Your last words to me_

[Chorus]:  
Heaven is a place nearby  
So I won't be so far away  
And if you try and look for me  
Maybe you'll find me someday  
Heaven is a place nearby  
So there's no need to say goodbye  
I will ask you not to cry  
I'll always be by your side

You just faded away  
You spread your wings, you had flown  
Away to something unknown  
Wish I could bring you back  
You're always on my mind  
About to tear myself apart  
You have your special place in my heart, always

[Chorus]

And even when I go to sleep  
I still can hear your voice  
And those words, I never will forget  


**So what did u think? Reviews? Please? Thanks. **


	9. Chapter 9 Forever Time

**Homeward Bound**

**Forever Time**

**Mandy**

Why was I so damn nervous to preform? Haven't I done it like thousandths of times? Didn't I have my own fan base now it wasn't like I was just starting out I was just as popular as Lena and miles now I had my own TV show I wasn't a new kid on the block anymore. Still somehow I just had this feeling that this performance was more important then any other. I couldn't shake it no matter what I did.

Watching miles made me hope that I was half as amazing as she was that kid really knows how to connect with the audience . No matter how many times I see her preform she blows me away, even though we had just preformed for over a hour as the opening act. I was still scared shit less I could dance with my eyes shut but to get up there and sing made me scared like a child at their first day of school being torn away from their mommy.

[Kris]- _you need too relax child and lighten up_

_You are just as talented as that one up there _

_And You deserve to be up there.._

Our manger Kris was by my side with her arms thrown over my shoulders as I watched Miles up there she really makes the audience feel like their apart of the show and not just watching. I want to be a able to do that .

[Kris]- _I'm not the only one who feels that way_

_Remember what miles said.._

I did right before we went on earlier she had come backstage to our dressing room and took my hands in hers of course I was sweating like crazy and ready to puke as I paced the room wearing out the rug.

I couldn't speak and she knew it so she took me in her arms hugging me tight . When she came out for air. She looked me right in the eyes not caring who was there which it was just family and close friends and she kissed me right on the lips earning a few gasps from people and a

[Khole]- _Yea u go gurl get it!_

From Kris's daughter Khole I fully accepted her kiss and kissed her back loving every minute of it. Her lips were super soft and tasted like cinnamon vanilla. I could feel her heart beating super fast as I pressed myself against her chest having a hard time breathing without air but I didn't care all I needed was her. My eyes closed as I relaxed into the kiss her eyelashes brushed against my checks rough but soft sighing as we came apart she ran her hands through my hair and brought my head against her chest my nose automatically picked up her perfume. It was new and expensive I didn't know the name but I loved it . The feeling of her hands brushing against my face and the feel of her breath against my neck her sweet words as she whispered how much she loved me and how proud she was of me filled me with confidence. She slipped a necklace around my neck and whispered to me to open it later.

Then she pulled out a ring and presented it to me laughing slightly she was so nervous it was so cute I brushed her hair back kissing her check as I held her hands she got down on one knee and looked me right in the eyes as I gasped tears starting to spill.

[Miley]- _Amanda will you please do me the honor_

_of becoming my wife someday? I'm not talking about today_

_But someday when I am a little older and we have had a _

_Chance to grow and learn_

_I would be honored if you would walk _

_To the alter and become my wife_

_I love you more then life_

_You are the reason I breathe_

I was breathless as I could only nod and she slipped the ring on my finger the tears spilled down and I felt her arms slip around my shoulders as she pulled me into a hug. Her hands running over my back as she held me comforted me as I bawled unable to believe she loved me this much to give up her Secrecy

for me exposing herself to all the gossip and judgment. Coming up I saw that Kris's eyes were full of tears as she covered her mouth everyone had that same expression shock happiness and disbelief when the shock wore off though everyone clapped , we were surrounded by hugs from her dancers her hair and makeup artiest.

_[Stage hand] – 5 minutes BG5 your on in 5!_

_[miley]- Before you go Baby _

She leaned up and kissed me fully on the mouth just as Brooke pulled me gathering us all to go on stage. As I rushed forward I looked back and saw her standing at the side of the stage cheering me on smiling with all the pride in the world...

[Dominique]- _Our next song is called Forever Time_

_hope you like it it's new and you are the first ones to hear it.._

The crowd went wild as we took our positions yes I was still nervous as we started but it was a good kind of nerves taking a deep breath I looked at Brooke who stated to sing...

**Forever Time**

_So much here to do_

_Our Time is almost near_

_Can you hear the whispers_

_Feel the excitement_

_Life is happening here_

_Love is keeping us going on_

_Looking back at yesterday I _

_Can't believe it has come and gone_

_Time is passing by way too fast_

_Could it be I was just a child in my yesterdays_

**Chorus **All of us joined Brooke for the chorus

_Racing through the days_

_Thinking I had Forever Time_

_In my foolish childish ways_

_When I learned to take but not give_

_Precious moments, now I see so much more_

Dominique and Noreen started to sing

_Forever isn't in our time_

_So I want to live it up remember these moments_

_Wish I could slow down the hands of clock _

_And live forever in these moments I would_

_Memorize your face so I would never have to face_

_The day when these precious moments slip away_

**Chorus**

_Racing through the days_

_Thinking I had Forever Time_

_In my foolish childish ways_

_When I learned to take but not give_

_Precious moments, now I see so much more_

_Maybe asking is just too much_

_Cause no one is granted a lifetime of _

_Chances all we are predominated is _

_Opportunities to live and learn and Grow_

Taking a deep breath I came in

_So Before this moment slips by I want to say_

_That I love this ride I am on_

_Take me, Hold me, Love me_

_Don't leave me but if you must go_

_Remember this time_

_Remember the love we shared_

_Take with you this memory_

_Of my words to you_

_Forever Love, Forever True_

_Forever Every Time _

_All I ever needed was you_

_Time it's unpredictable_

_Unruly but it's true_

_Just like you_

_So I wanna say to you_

_Until my time is done_

_I Give you my heart_

_No matter how many years go by_

_I will be Forever True_

_You have my heart You always have my soul_

_You are the reason I breathe the one I love_

_So Remember Forever Time after time_

_Until I leave this world and they pry my cold Hands _

_From this earth you have me_

**Laura and Brooke**

_To have to hold to love_

_You are the one I trusted To give my love To_

_So please don't break it Don't betray it_

_I don't think I can take it_

**All Five of Us**

_I spill my blood for you ,I would lay down my life for you_

_I give my word to you _

_My world, My love ,My Forever Time_

Looking at Miley who was beaming from the side I smiled I knew I had found the one who I wanted to spend my Forever Time with and I couldn't wait till she was 18 we could really start to live then.


	10. Chapter 10 Me Plus You

**Homeward Bound**

**Selena**

**Me Plus You **

[Demi]-_WHAT!_

_They want you to what?_

_[Me]-I know believe me I know dang Dems_

_I was just starting to think that life_

_Could be some what normal_

_And Now Disney makes me go and do this!_

I was fuming down right pissed as I wore out the carpet in her dressing room it was lunch time and we were back at work having just flown in last night from the concert we had barely gotten any sleep our plane had gotten in at 11pm we didn't get home til after 12am and it was now 12pm, Demi had to be at the studio at 8 but I was up at 5 to do Ryan Live at 7 then I had come straight from there to here. I had just gotten out of a meeting with the president of Disney who had decided that because Jonas was losing fans I had to be the reason. Disney likes it better when there's Drama so they were forcing me and Nick to break up so all the girls would feel sad for Nick and think there was a chance in hell that they could date him, if they see he's available, then they can dream and then they would be inspired to buy Jonas music. It made me sick worse they had already arranged a date for me with JB yes the one miles hates Justin Beeper. This should make me happy I know he's cute he's young he's hot every girls dream well not mine sure I liked his music I even liked him he was a nice enough kid, but he wasn't who I loved! I loved Nick!

He was pissed I knew it I saw it in his eyes as he sat up straight his parents always made the boys sit up straight and be proper wear suits. Respect they said came first..but Nick was so pissed he was fighting the urge to not throw a fit to not slouch and tune everyone out. I couldn't connect my eyes with him the whole time I was fighting back tears chocking on them, hating it feeling sick to my stomach. I wanted to kill them but I couldn't..they gave us no choice ...well okay they said break up or your career is over...our career is our lives..for them it's how their family survives their dad's their manger their mom helps out on the road neither have jobs the boys career is their full time jobs. Music is what keeps their hearts beating..it's the same for me mom gave up her life so I can live my dream how can we chose to give it up? We can't so we had NO Choice! Life was not being fair Nick was the only boy I truly loved.

[Me]- _I won't give up on him Sems I won't!_

_[Demi] – You shouldn't Lena I mean you two are so cute _

_Together you can't let anyone come between that.._

_But what are you going to do? Give up your career?_

That was the question that was killing me right now what was I suppose to do? Tears were threatening to spill. Demi knew me to well she got up and came over and hugged me tight. I refused to let the dang tears fall I would not give those guys power !

[Demi]-Y_ou and Nick Need to talk!_

_Go Find him Talk to him don't do anything stupid before you two talk.._

_Promise me Lena.._

She reached over and lifted my chin looking me straight in the eyes I couldn't break her trust and I knew she was only helping me so I nodded but in truth I would do anything at that moment to keep Nick in my life and I meant anything. Just as I was starting to break Tiffany and their co-stars came in they were being funny joking around and I couldn't take it. I knew Demi was worried but she was on set and she had to interact with her co-stars she mouthed to call her later .I just nodded as I felt my chest heaving. Leaning against the wall after her door closed I fought them off again, I wished so hard my mom wasn't in Texas cause I needed her so bad right then.

As if my day wasn't bad enough who's song came over the loud speaker? Yea you got it

_It may seem like the world's against our love_

_But baby it just ain't so cause I know that we may be young_

_Oh but girl I can tell ya I am old enough to tell them_

_Young don't mean we don't know how to feel_

_Age ain't nothing but a number _

_How can I be too young to know what is in my heart_

_When I know my heart for 16 years_

_Tell me how can I be old enough_

_To make hits that blow up the charts the songs you be blasting_

_Making them speakers go _

_Thump, thump, thump _

_But you tell me I'm too young to love?_

_Sometimes people don't use their heads before they open_

_Their mouths they talk ,talk ,talk gibberish_

_But girl don't let them cloud your gorgeous head with that _

_Just look inside and feel what's real _

_And remember what I always tell you_

_Baby whatever you need I give it to you cause _

_Shorty it's Me and you you and me_

_Us against them and I will be strong for you_

_For you I sing this song to you _

_Yea you and I _

_And I am gonna sing it till I drop_

_You make me happy baby you are my world ,my stars, my moon_

_The sunlight I wake up to _

_And I will not let them tell me _

_Who I can love how to feel cause I know_

_Yea I know _

So_ w_hat was I suppose to do? And why of all people did he have to write a song that was saying exactly how I felt?

**A/N Whew a Cliff hanger who wants me dead right now? Haha I am so evil :} and I love it Reviews everyone would be lovely and inspire me so much..any ideas what will happen? Review and you'll get a shout out well if your nice 2 me that is..**

**ps Thanks to all those who voted on my polls just saw the results and I will work on Welcome to Hollywood soon , new poll up if it worked who wants to see a fic about Brooke and Mandy ? Thanks guys hope 2 hear from ya soon.**


	11. Chapter 11 The Way That I Loved You

**Homeward Bound **

**The Way I Loved You**

There was no way out of it I had to break up with Nick by the time I had driven home after royally messing up every line in my script and nearly knocking my co-star Jake out when I missed a cue and swung the hammer to late which narrowly missed his head. I was sent home by my director who told me to either get some sleep or find a new job. Nasty Jerk . Well he had convinced me of one thing I may not have a future in this business. I wasn't as pretty as Miles or as smart I didn't have a famous parent hell I didn't even have a parent who stuck around. As soon as I turned 18 my mom split and went back to Texas sure it was fun living on my own having no rules but it was times like this that I needed a mom around . Calling texting just wasn't the same. I had to face facts though she wasn't here and frankly she didn't want to be who would? I wasn't the teen queen like miles I didn't make as much money. I was second best who wants second best?

It was no shock that by the time I had gotten home I was a mess crying my makeup smeared my mind racing with all kind of thoughts like how nick was better off without me in his life how he could have any girl he wanted. Hell miles was single he could have her .I know he still loved her he never got over her even though he was loyal to me I know deep inside he loves her. I would give anything for him to touch me with the tenderness he would her.

As much as it hurt I knew I had to let him go so he could live his dream I would have to start auditioning and find a new job. I didn't even bother to get in bed I just sprawled on the floor clutching the blanket he gave me for Christmas which had our pictures on it, the tears didn't stop as I thought back to all the memories of us. His face at Christmas at his house when I opened it up how he had hid the ring inside the blanket. When I saw it I was speechless he knew it to. I had cried then to but happy tears god I was so happy when he took me in his arms and kissed me fully on the mouth in front of his family. Our kiss only intensified as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer .I had never felt so loved and so wanted as when he told me that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me by his side. His mom Denise had taken me into a hug and told me how happy she was that Nick had found someone who could love him and understand him.

I did understand him more then anyone else maybe even more then her cause I knew that no matter how much he loved me and wanted to be with me he was devoted to his career and he was loyal to his brothers after all Jonas wasn't just Nick it was all 3 and they had made a commitment and Nick honored his commitments. Which is why he would never keep dating me no matter how much it hurt to break up.

My tears didn't seem to have a end how could I end things with someone who I loved so much that I would give up my virginity for who I had agreed to marry. My chest was on fire I felt sick like I was going to vomit I was so thankful I hadn't eaten anything or I would of thrown up again.

Closing my eyes I tried to think of anything that would come positive out of this.

Nothing came to mind expect how exhausted this day had made me. The sun rays warmed my back but I still felt so cold.

I could still feel his arms around me when we made love how he had held me protected me kissed me so sweet. A small smile escaped my lips as I remembered that feeling when everything in my world had been so right.

Maybe it's hard for you to understand just how much this was ripping me apart. Bout have you ever been so deep in love with anything? That you would sacrifice everything and anything to protect it? My love for him was deeper then anything I had ever felt like most people love God which is the most purest of loves and most holiest. It's like when your a kid and you cling to your favorite pet only to wake up one day to find that it had died, you think you'll never get over it. Well this was a thousand times worse. They say your first love is the one you never really truly get over Nick was and always will be my one and only true love and it's true I will never get over losing him.

Suddenly I felt sicker then I had all day since I had thrown up earlier running to the bathroom. I almost didn't make it as I emptied everything into the toilet repeatedly my head was pounding as I flushed and washed my mouth sweating as I turned off the water. I felt my whole body shaking as I stumbled out of the bathroom I was dizzy as I headed back to my room in my hurry I hadn't turned on the lights as I ran inside earlier now the darkness from no windows made it harder to navigate to my room and in true fashion . I tripped and stumbled over something slicing my toe cussing. I reached out to see it was my personal video camera . Sitting in the hall I sunk against the wall and stared at it dang where had this fallen from? Where had I shoved it? I was looking for it for weeks. Should I press play? What memories did I have on there? Taking a deep breath I decided to go for it pressing play quick before I changed my mind the LCD screen came on in a blur of colors video images of the boys last tour came on Nick and I by the golf cart where we sunk out to be alone. I was eating ice cream and he had sneaked a surprise tickle attack from behind scaring me out of my seat ice cream had gone everywhere I was covered he was hysterical so I had to attack him and get him he had tried to push me away but I chased him till I corned him and grabbed a hose spraying him he had ran away only to get me again by sneaking behind me and lifting me up., My squeals filled the air . There was him on stage singing to me but making it look like he was singing to the millions of girls in the stadium we had our little codes. There was the haunted prison tour in Philly I had clung to him as I was scared to the point I almost pissed myself. He had taken pleasure in holding me and teasing me. There were times on the bus when we would play games and man were we competitive there were the times we would sneak to his bunk and make out or just talk , the time I was so sick I couldn't preform so he had sent a tweet out for all fans attending that nights show to make or bring get well cards and the fans turned out literally hundreds which he adorned each one with a rose from him. Memories flashed across the screen as the tears cascaded down my face I was shaking and dizzy and I couldn't breath as I stumbled to my room falling over something I didn't bother to get up I just cried to the point where the pain in my chest knocked me out.

Waking up the brilliant sun sunshine was gone and a chill had replaced it reaching out I tried to grab the blanket to pull it over me. The tears had dried away leaving me cold so damn cold ,sticky and still feeling sick. Where was the dang blanket?

[Nick]- _Looking for this?_

I gasped as I turned to see his gorgeous face laying next to me shirtless his arms holding the blanket he smiled as I settled into his arms slowly my eyes pried themselves open. His fingers slide over my checks ..

[Nick]- _Oh Lena haven't I told you that your too beautiful_

_To cry god I could kill them for making you sad_

_I knew you were so upset I wanted to chase you down_

_But my parents made me stay back they didn't want to piss_

_The bosses off more..Lena if It was up to me I would of ran after you_

_Baby I am so sorry_

_Please forgive me I should of stood up to them told them how I felt_

_Told them where to go with their threats and .._

_[Me]- No Nick you shouldn't have that would of only made it worse_

_I get it I couldn't say anything either I wanted to god I so wanted to rip their _

_Smirks right off their faces.._

Nick pulled me to him his rough hands caressing my back which he had somehow removed my shirt during our talk but it wasn't in a creepy perverted way he was being so gentle as he held me and listened to me. His eyes never left my face.

[Nick]- _I know it's hard Sel but we just have to think rationally_

_I know there's a way to to get around this we love each other_

_And we will figure this out we just have to use our brains.._

My fingers tracing over his chest as his old spice filled my nose swallowing I took a deep breath and without waiting for him to finish I reached up my fingers twirling his curls. I pulled myself as close as we could possibly be our bodies pressing so close I could feel him growing bigger as he was pressed against my private even my lips locked against his in the most passionate kiss couldn't suppress my moans as our legs tangled together. He didn't seem to want to stop he needed exactly what I needed when I needed it. Leaning back so he could crawl on top of me I felt my breath in take as he covered my stomach with his soft touch my lips playing the tangle his back was so strong I could feel his biceps as my hands ran the length of his body from his neck to his arms to his back to his butt where I pulled off his shorts off wasting no time feeling him moan inside my mouth as my fingers stroked his member.

[ME]-O_h god Nick please don't stop_

_I need you_

_God..._

My whole body was on fire as we shed our clothes and enjoyed just touching and kissing it was amazing how many emotions we were able to express by just being together. Moving my legs further apart I moaned loud and deep as he moved on top of me pulling him down I begged him to make love to me and make me forget. His kisses covered my whole body as his tongue played with my whole being my fingers gripped him as he entered me and I expressed myself by calling his name moaning and screaming in pain and pleasure as my body relaxed and our hips moved in sync with each others. The floor's creaking only made us go deeper and harder as my screams echoed the whole house, one good thing about living by myself I could have sex all night and day without anyone to stop me. Nick's arms were so strong as he held me kissing my breasts and stomach pushing my legs back positioning himself over me so he could enter deeper thrusting over and over so hard I couldn't breath all I could do was squeal unable to take it anymore I screamed as I felt myself explode.

[Nick]- _Baby are you okay?_

_Was I alright?_

_I didn't hurt you sweetie_

He kissed my check tenderly as he ran his hands over my body holding me tight as we lay side by side he was still inside of me and I didn't want him to come out.

_[Me]-Oh God Nick _

_I'm more then okay_

_Damn Baby you just made everything more then alright_

A small laugh escaped as I leaned closer closing my eyes kissing him. Without words needed he lifted me up wrapping my legs around his waist I held onto his neck as he carried me to the bed. Our lips kissing every part of each others bodies as he laid me down but I shock my head pushing him down crawling on him he laughed tracing his fingers over my breasts as I positioned myself over him and slide deeper moaning as he slowly entered me further it was a different more pressure type of feeling as my chest heaved his mouth working my nipples making me hard.

I couldn't even start to say the positions we did or how long we made love all I know was that some where in the middle the tears started again and he kissed them away singing to me as we laid in each others arms. Hot Breath echoing breath , skin clinging to wet skin , face to face lips to lips. His soft voice melted me as he sung his heart to me..

Feeling my breath starting to relax I laid my head on his chest his hands brushed my hair back as he kissed my face. His voice soothing me with his song..

**_Rose Garden Lyrics_**__

She was brought into this world  
Out of a beautiful mistake  
When her mom was just a girl  
And her daddy didn't stay  
She was working at age 9  
At the flower shop in town  
Working not just to survive  
Cuz' life was throwing her around

In the rose garden  
Where the rain is falling  
And the thorns are sharpen  
Rose garden  
Yeah...  
Rose garden

She was young but not naive  
Always wise beyond her years  
Hoping that no one would see  
Every time she dried her tears  
High in the rose garden  
Where the rain is falling  
And the thorns are sharpen  
Rose garden

Don't let those petals fall  
Don't let them fall on you  
_Don't let those petals fall  
Don't let them fall on you_

yehyehyeeh!  
In the rose garden

Where the rain is falling  
And the thorns are sharpen  
Rose garden  
Yeah.. 

[Me]-I_ love you Nick and I can't let you_

_Give up on your dreams I …_

_God this is so hard_

_Nick we can't be together anymore..I'm sorry.._

As hard as I tried not to cry the tears came anyway hard and fast he looked panic stricken as he sat up reaching for me. Trying to cover myself and trying to get up only caused me to trip which made it easier for him to grab me.

[ME]-_Selena Stop it right now_

He didn't raise his voice he was gentle but he was firm as he turned me and pulled me to him my tears falling against his chest as he held me rocking me.

[ME]-I_ can't hurt you nick I love you too much to let_

_You give up your dreams for me _

_[Nick Getting madder with each word]_

_So what you think breaking my heart would be easier?_

_Damn it Lena can't you see how much you mean to me?_

_I love you enough to give up everything for you_

_And I will in a heart beat_

_Please don't do this _

_[Me]- I can't see another way_

I was chocking on the tears so hard I was coughing without wasting a beat he pulled me down rubbing my back soothing me wiping away the liquid dripping from my nose pulling me so close. I was laying on top of him feeling his heart beating next to mine as he kissed me breathing in my scent.

Slowly with his soothing words and touches in all the right places I felt my body relax enough that sleep started to come to me. With any luck the dreams wouldn't turn into nightmares .I felt him wrap the blankets around me his hands running through my hair.


	12. Chapter 12 Make It Right

**Homeward Bound **

**Make It Right**

**Nick's p o v**

[Joe]- _Yo Nick man you need to calm down_

I spun around my eyes must have been as wide as they felt my heart was racing so hard I honestly thought I was going to have a heart attack. Kevin made a soft comment something like..

[Kevin]- _Well that was entirely the wrong thing to say Danger_

_Smooth move_

_[Me]- You want me to calm down!_

_Calm down _

_How can I calm down they want me to break up with my girlfriend!_

_Again this is the second time they pulled this crap on me_

_How am I suppose to break her heart?_

_Without breaking her did you see her in there Joe_

_Huh did you see her?_

Okay so I know I was like a mad man almost grabbing Joe's shirt which would explain why he was hiding behind Kevin like a puppy who had been kicked. I was pacing the dressing room sweating trying to think about our options but they were smart and had covered all grounds.

[Joe]- _She knows what the deal is though Nick it won't be like last time_

_[ME]- Last time almost killed her!_

_She didn't talk to us for over a year and a half!_

_I can't I just can't do this I love her and I won't lose her_

_[Joe]-So what are you saying?_

_[Me]- That I won't hurt Lena again esp now_

_[Kevin]- What's so special about now?_

Inwardly I cussed why did that slip out? There was no way I could let them know that we had broken our promise to my parents to wait to marriage before we had sex. Excuse's what could I use for..

[Kevin]- _Nick man did you and Lena do something you weren't suppose to?_

Damn Kevin was not going to back down and he wasn't stupid like they make his character he was going to get it at any minute so I had to think of a lie which I suck at yes I know actor's lie all the time it's called acting. Maybe this makes me a bad actor but I can not lie to my family or friends with out them knowing. I was already so nervous my palms were sticking together my throat was dry and I felt dizzy.

[Me]-_No We would .. we made promises we.._

_[Joe]- Then why are you twitching like that Rascally rabbit _

_[Me]- I'm not..I'm just upset_

_[Joe]-Why is your voice 3 octaves higher?_

He did a intimation of me which made me laugh but Kevin didn't back down he looked into my eyes I swallowed.

[Kevin]- _Little Bro man you are beat red_

_[Me]- just back off man nothing happened I'm just trying to say_

_That breaking up with her when she's going through so much already is_

_Going to be so much more nasty _

_She's dealing with her mom running off_

_Her dad hasn't contacted her in years she's alone out here_

_She still doesn't feel like she has talent or beauty she's_

_Always comparing herself to miles_

_This will wreck her and if I know Lena and I do_

_she's already trying to think of ways to make it easier_

_For me not even thinking about herself_

_[Joe]- Well maybe you should follow that_

_I mean think of us_

_[ME]-Excuse me?_

_[Kevin]- Yea What he said_

_[Joe]-this isn't just your problem Nick were a band man _

_We make up Jonas not just you_

_We started this dream when we were kids in Jersey_

_Singing in school plays_

_We worked our butts off to make this dream happen not just you_

_So think of what will happen to us not just what your feeling down there lil dude_

_[ME]- Really it's just that easy for you Joe _

_So if they told you break up with Demi you would just dump her_

_[Joe]-She's a girl Nick just a girlfriend _

_There will be plenty of them to get with_

_As the years go by but were hot now_

_Yes if I had to I would break up with Demi_

_If she cares about me she would understand why_

_Like Lena will.._

_Kevin did it he broke up with Danielle _

_For years so we could move out here and concentrate_

_On making it and it worked out for him_

_[M]e- Danielle wasn't in the business she didn't have to deal_

_With the paps asking hundreds of _

_Questions up in her face living out her pain in public_

_She didn't have the fans hating her!_

_Selena did She's put up with so much just to be with me_

_Now I'm suppose to throw her away _

_Like yesterdays trash_

_this just proves why Taylor was so right about you Joe_

_You wonder why she wrote that song_

_Look at yourself listen to what your saying_

_No wonder why she hates you_

_[Kevin]-Don't be so dramatic man_

_[Me]- Forget you two I'm out I need to clear my head_

_[Dad]-Nickolas don't be so hash with your brothers_

_They have a valid Point_

_I Know you think you love Selena _

_[Me]- think dad I more then think I know_

_I love her enough to propose marriage!_

_[Dad]- Nick be quite no one needs to know that_

_Your not getting married any time soon_

_now we need to think about the show and your music_

_[EM]- No you people can think about that_

_I need to find Lena she was a wreck after the meeting and she _

_Doesn't have anyone out here to call_

_[Dad]- Nick don't walk away when were having a meeting_

He grabbed my arm I shock him off his face started to get madder by the minute.

[Dad]- _Lose the attitude buddy _

_[Mom]- Kevin let him go he needs to check on Selena_

_He's right she's alone out here and she was barely holding it in at _

_The meeting I'm worried about her as well_

I swallowed sighing in relief mom smiled at me motioning for me to go I pretty much ran out of there.

My legs didn't stop till I was outside the building in the back area finally taking a deep breath I leaned against the wall. Sweating and breathing heavy I swore to myself I would hit the gym to get back into shape asap.

[Miles]- _Always in a hurry Nickolas huh?_

Cursing as she came up behind me scaring me she gave a little laugh damn she could make a guy forget their name just by her sheer presence her laugh still sent shivers down my back. Even after all this time

it made me wonder what could have been had I not hooked up with Selena again. She was looking at me so intently I knew she was trying to figure out what to say. My neck quickly got hot when I thought about the last time we were together. I hadn't seen her since the kiss three days ago, I was at a loss for words man did I feel so stupid her foot was propped up against the wall she was looking well amazing in a pair of ripped blue jeans with a mesh black top on showing off her bra and her uh tributes then a flannel which looked to be Mandy's red and white. Her long flowing hair was held up in a messy pony tail and she had little makeup on meaning she was here for a interview not to tape a show.

The girl knew how to make me hot without even trying and I was starting to feel confused why was I still admiring Miley that way and thinking about her when I knew without a doubt now that I was in love with Lena.

I could think about this forever and don't think I haven't laid in my room pondering this for hours on end. Just looking at her now. Standing there with her blue eyes which were fully staring into mine like she could read my mind. Maybe she could after all didn't we spend every day together for over two years talking and laughing sharing dreams and stories playing games helping each other practice. We went on tour together we lived next door to each other we rode bikes we sung to each other. She was my world my rock she helped me with my diabetes. I loved her well at least I thought I did. So yea it's true we were really young only 12 and 13 when we started dating but I really thought she was it. Of course I had a few girlfriends before but she was the one that made me feel things I never felt before.

In short she was my first true love and they say you never really get over your first love.

Miley stood there waiting for me to speak she wasn't going to make the first move that was for sure. Miles had always been tough even at 12 she grew up in this business she knew the game from watching her father people use you for fame , money , status , so she always had her guard up but once you gain her trust and she lets you in she falls hard. I always knew how to get to her a smile a few words. Taking a deep breath trying to settle my nerves I smiles my sweet innocent shy school boy smile the one that use to make her melt. This time her eyes regarded me coolly time had changed her made her more guarded looking into her eyes I tried to see if I had a part in that. Her eyes remained neutral showing no signs of giving anything away. Finally I decided to speak.

[Me]_- Miles I'm not sure what to say _

_[Miles]- Try I'm sorry for being a selfish ego manic_

_Self adsorbed cheating lair who kissed you_

_Even after you said NO!_

I felt the color creep up my face as she spat each word with more venom her eyes burning through mine. What could I say? She had hit the nail with he hammer hard..shifting my feet I kicked the stones.

[Miles]- _You can't say nothing now Big man huh?_

_Sure it's easy when you get a girl on her back or force yourself on her lips_

_But you can't say nothing to apologize? _

_It's real easy Nickolas just open your mouth and speak_

_A two year old can say it_

Dang she was angry more so then I could remember her ever getting. Sighing I looked towards the ground as she went on..

[Miles]- _I shouldn't be surprised though should I ?_

I looked up suddenly I was starting to get angry what the hell was her problem? I maybe the one who started the kiss but I know somewhere inside she wanted it to.

_You never could say those words could you Nickolas_

_In all the time we dated never once were you the one who said _

_I'm sorry _

_Guess it's true cheaters will always cheat liars will always lie_

_And Men will always be dogs..._

_I just hope Selena comes to her sense's and drops your lying butt_

_I take it you never told her did you?_

I swallowed and I couldn't look at her how did she see right through everything I said?

[Me]- _Look Miles it's not as easy as you think_

_[Miles]- Sure it is you just open your mouth and say Selena _

_Oops I did it again I cheated_

_I am so sorry_

_oh wait that's right you don't say it you text it_

_Well Here Nickolas _

She threw her phone at me

_Text her from mine that way when it hits the press _

_What a surprise big bad slutty Miley is the cause_

I ducked as she threw it and her phone hit the concrete hard shattering just like the look in her eyes. Her face was hard and her eyes cold I swallowed it was true what everyone said I was the one who broke her. I could see it clearly now..all the pain I had caused the lost trust the betrayal the hate it was all there it made me wonder if she had ever really forgiven me or was it just for show? Maybe she had learned something I hadn't how to cover up your emotions. I wanted more then anything to blame her I mean I couldn't take all the blame could I? I wasn't the only one who caused our breakup she was always obsessed with her career she was always running off to tour the world. She was always in the studio or writing or in rehearsal she was always giving interviews I mean she is obsessed she wants fame she may say it doesn't effect her but it does she wasn't innocent she was always trying to prove she earned her fame and wasn't riding on her father's fame. She got sucked into Hollywood she was Hollywood. She wanted the latest fashions she had to be in the latest fashions. She had to be talked about even if she said she hated it she secretly liked some of it I mean it meant she mattered it's when the whispers and flashes stop that you suddenly get some peace but at that point no matter how good you are it don't matter cause they don't care and if they don't care your career is gone. Where would she go without being the center of attention?

Okay so maybe I'm being selfish she would say so without any problem I bet it was on the tip of her tongue I bet she was reading my mind, as those gorgeous blue eyes stared dagger into mine. Maybe it was a bit of mine in truth with everything that had been done how could I really know? I was young and cocky .I wanted fame just as bad I let the whole teen heart throb get into my head for awhile it's pretty awesome to know that millions of girls sleep with your poster by their bed and dream of meeting you. At 13 it's every boy's dream to be the cool guy the one who is wanted and who is treated like a god fancy limo's personal assistants ,maids ,drivers body guards to appear untouchable. Sighing I stepped forward fast to corner her against the wall. She was taken back not use to me moving so fast and I got her, pressing myself against her face I looked into her eyes she was unsteady now like a mouse being chased by a cat who backed itself in a tight corner. Our faces were so close I could of kissed her right then and there...but it was too late I learned that the other day she was over me she might of loved me once upon a time when we were kids but time had changed us it had passed and while I was still stuck on repeat she had moved on maybe not to someone else but her heart no longer cried for me. Maybe I was a fool to think I had a chance? Maybe I was a fool to think I could hide from Selena ..or maybe I really just finally saw how much Lena meant to me...I glanced at Miley again slowly taken in her whole body she stiffened like she knew what my eyes were doing..without a word she tried to ease out..but I blocked her with my hip...Then I kissed her lips quickly …

_[EM]- Good-Bye miley _

_I really am Sorry..._

Cursing myself for taking so long with her I realized I had no time now to see Lena no matter how much I loved her or was worried about her. I had commitments today we were being visited by the president of Disney Kids Programming I had to be on set like now..

I barley made it mom breathed a sigh of relief I hated knowing she was worried she looked at me her eyes searching for answers but I had none to give. I had made such a show of being worried about her but I had barely gotten 5 feet out of the studio when she stopped me in my tracks..I changed and grabbed water before heading out..

We were wrapping up we just had to preform the song. I was hot and sweating as I played the guitar and Joe sung..I looked out to see Demi smiling at him but no Selena she never missed our performances unless Wizards went over and when I checked earlier they had been on time. I was starting to get worried but I had to preform so I pushed it aside as we did the song I got into it jumping and interacting with the audience.

**"Make It Right"**

_You say you'll know when you really find the one  
But it's hard to tell With the damage that's been done  
But id like to say that it's your fault  
But I know better  
Cuz' I'm a fool to think you'll wait around forever_

Maybe I Could have loved you  
Maybe I could have shown  
That I still do care about you  
More than you could know  
Don't say it's to late too try  
To make it right  
_  
I didn't know how good you were for me  
Now it's clear I'm seeing all that we could be  
And I know that it's my fault  
But I'm gonna treat you better  
Cause If I had one wish you'd be with me forever_

Maybe I Could have loved you  
Maybe I could have shown  
That I still do care about you  
More than you could know  
Don't say it's too late to try  
To make it right

Is there something I can say?  
Show me how to break it down  
So before you walk away  
Take the time to turn around  
Listen to me now

Maybe I Could have loved you  
Maybe I could have shown  
That I still do care about you  
More than you could know  
Don't say it's too late to try [x2]  
To make it right  
To make it right  
Make it right  
Gonna make it right 

Yea I couldn't help but think these lyrics fit so well with Miley and I . But there was nothing I could do just like my favorite bible verse says to every thing there is a season a time to love a time to mourn..for me and miles our season of love was over but did it mean we had to be over? I think for now I needed to keep my distance and focus on the one who did love me..But where was she was my question? Looking out again I saw her...no wait that was Miles and Emily but where was Selena?

**A/N I know that's not the exact verse of the ****Ecclesiastes 3 but I changed it for now to fit. So what did you think? Reviews would be lovely...please I'll give u a virtual Brownie Sunday with loads of whip cream and any topping you want. All u have 2 do is hit that button down there and say what you feel in a nice way. You would rule! Thanks .. **


	13. Chapter 13 Before The Storm

**Homeward Bound**

**Before The Storm**

**Nick**

[Me]- _Where is she?_

_[Demi]-I'm not sure she was over with me earlier _

_Maybe she just went home to change and fell asleep_

_She was really tired this morning _

_Did You try to call her?_

_[Me]- Of course I tried to...Oh wait.._

Feeling color rush to my face I turned away and grabbed my cell duh why didn't I think of that? As if she read my mind again Miles said..

[Miles]- _Cause your a guy and guys are__just clueless _

I glared at her as she stood there popping her gum very loudly while looking at Mandy's nails which were painted a funky mix of black and purple. Damn Joe was going to be in trouble he was doing nothing but staring at her ass he was lucky Demi didn't see yet. Kevin was looking for something to bop him on the head with.

Her cell rung and rung and some really bad music was blasting out from the speakers a rap song which was annoying me to no end..

_No one knows how long we have_

_Make the most of the time _

_While we here to live to love_

_Show em up wit da knowledge _

_I look to my angels _

_Julian and Angel_

_You were here one day then gone_

_But while u were here we blazed the sky_

_The streets were our playground_

_Heaven n hell_

_Rollin' with shorties smokin blunts_

_Shedding tears for peers who r no longer here_

_We were the three amigo's no one messed wit da crazy three_

The pounding was getting worse in my head I was starting to get seriously worried she wasn't answering she normally answers for me. Leaving the room I went into the hall to try to hear the phone better. The cool air felt great. Dang Lena where are you I thought to myself. Giving up I leaned my head against the wall. How was I suppose to escape and get to her now? There was a endless stream of visitors with us all important executives. Pacing as I went in I had to think of something I had to check on her. I saw miles watching me from the corner of her eyes.

[Nicole]-_Nick oh my god nick you have to go!_

_It's Selena Jen said she was sent home in hysterics today!_

Nicole our cast mate came running up her long bronze hair flying back eyes wide. She quickly and quietly told me what she knew.

**Miley p o v**

**[**Mandy]- _Sweetie are you even listening ?_

_[Me]-Huh? What were you saying I'm sorry_

_[Mandy]- Well if you stop staring at Lover boy over there_

_[Me hissing]- He's not my lover boy stop that!_

[Mandy]- _What ever you say Mi whatever gets you through_

_[Me]- You get me through and no one else..Remember that_

_Lets go .._

I gripped her hand tightly and started to drag her out as Nicole flew in talking to Nick in the corner he looked worried good for him I thought dang he had a way of getting to me, I promise myself I won't care I won't get mad cause in the end he's not worth it but I always do end up so angry and the anger eventually melts to sadness. Mandy wasted no time in wrapping her arm over my shoulder as we walked out I rested my head on her arm.

We made it home fairly fast with little traffic I was hot and sweaty so we decided on a shower, mom was making dinner and snagged Mandy as soon as we came in begging her to stay which took a total of two seconds to wear her down making us all laugh, Noah was watching TV and yelling at us to be quite Brasion was in his room practicing [great for us.. ] Not! I missed Brandi right about then we would so be pranking him but she was recording with Codi. After our shower Mandy promptly fell on the bed exhausted from working so hard today and dang if she didn't look so stinking cute curled up in that little ball I would of waken her just so I would have company. Instead I settled at my desk which my Mamie had littered with fan mail that needed to be signed grabbing my i-pod I set out to sign the 3000 plus pictures and read the letters. I never knew my eyes could stretch so wide as I read letter after letter writing back to as many as I could. Certain ones touched me so bad that I found myself crying for these people who I didn't even know..I made a list of a few kids who were in hospitals that I would do something for them. Hours passed and I didn't even see how late it was until I heard a ..

[Mom] _Miley Ray what are you still doing up at this late an hour!_

_Goodness child it's nearly 2am you need to get to sleep!_

_What are you doing?_

_[Me]- Don't be mad momma I'm only signing fan letters_

Please don't be mad I pleaded inside please don't ground me cross my fingers and toes...mom gazed over the pile yes I had nearly gotten the whole 3000 done. I only had 20 left. Her eyes softened as they landed on me..then she leaned down and kissed my forehead.

[Mom]-_You amaze me child well finish up and get _

_Your butt to bed young lady.._

She flicked my hair I nodded sighing she grinned leaning down to hug me. I got down to the last few letters. Once again I found myself in tears shaking up by this girls letter.

_Dear Miley _

_I know this is probably a pointless letter everyone tells me I am crazy for writing to you_

_But I believe in you and I look up to you. I really hope you prove them all wrong_

_And respond in whatever way you can._

_My name is Shauna MacAngel I am 12 years old_

_And I have a serious problem .._

_This isn't the normal pre teen girl problem no it's not boys or makeup_

_or feeling unpretty though I have felt all of that I am a normal girl._

_My problem is that I have a lung disease _

_I won't burden you with the statics or even the name. I know you are so busy _

_If you are reading this that is enough._

_I am waiting for a lung transplant and I spend many days in the hospital_

_It's lonely and sometimes scary. I hate not being in school with other kids_

_I know you know what it's like being home schooled so you can relate._

_My reason for writing however isn't to tell you my story_

_So why did I ? I don't have the answers and I am not trying to gain sympathy_

_What I want is for you to help me raise awareness. Not for me .But for_

_Kids like me, teens like you and what I hope to be in a year God willing._

_I am hoping you and your friend Mandy would do a you tube video for me_

_On drunk driving awareness.._

_My older sister Angelina she is my best friend like you and Brandi are_

_She always supports me encourages me believes in me even when others_

_Doubt me...She is everything I want to be..When I grow up..If I get to grow up.._

_Angel is gorgeous and talented she is smart like really genius smart_

_And she is kind..She's my hero..She helps kids in our_

_Community who have no one to look up to she tutors them_

_She's a Softball Star, She has many Friends who love her._

_She has the cutest boy in her school as hers._

_In Short Yes she has everything.._

_She's also 6 feet under.._

_See my sister And her best friend Tori were killed last year by a drunk driver_

_The girl was in her 20's she was well above the legal limit when she smashed her car_

_Into my sister's ..She walked away with barely any scratches _

_My sister and Tori never got to walk again._

_I often ask myself why?_

_Why my sister who was perfectly healthy?_

_Who had collages scooting her who had plans and _

_A future filled with promises of greatness_

_When I am so sick I will die without a transplant?_

_I know I can't find the answers here on earth but believe me I plan on_

_Having a chat with God when I see him._

_For now all I can do is hope someone learns from this_

_Hope someone has it in their hearts to care and to help_

_I know you are busy and can't do anything big but if you do a_

_Video that would reach millions of kids who look up to you_

_Maybe they can talk to their parents and older siblings maybe we can make a difference._

_I'm not asking for a miracle just for a chance to stop any other family_

_From enduring what my family has had to.._

_Thank you miley for being my inspiration you will always shine as number one in my eyes_

_Even if you never read this or turn away after you do._

_Sincerely Shauna MacAngel_

_12 years old Sunnyville Ca_

I was unable to think of anything else from the time I put it down I was shaking so hard I could barely make it to the bathroom. When I landed in bed dreams plagued me all night.

_[Me] Brandi when are mom and dad coming home?_

_[Brandi] I don't know miles but we can have our own fun mean time_

_[Noah] Looks like a storm is coming we should head inside.._

_[Me] Where's Mate and Feather _

_[Brasion]- Outside_

_[Me]-I'll get them.._

_[Brasion]- No Miles!_

I ran outside there was for sure a storm coming the wind had picked up it was getting dark the sky had that ominous feeling dark and threatening feeling. I shivered pulling my sweater tighter calling for mate and Feather Brandi's dog...the wind got stronger..I heard Brandi calling to me..but as I tried to turn the wind gathered such force that I was blasted back to my butt as I heard her calling louder. I tired to yell but I couldn't make my voice go any louder...chairs were being thrown aside as the wind howled louder and rain pelted down..I screamed as loud as I could for her scared cause it was getting darker and darker and colder the wind was so strong I could feel myself being pulled up. Grabbing on to whatever I could to hold onto I prayed we would get through this..the wind sent a chair straight to our window shattering it. I saw her in a flash of red hair coming for me..without thinking I reached out to grab her calling to her...I felt her fingers connect with mine strong and secure I let go..she grabbed tighter I heard her say...

{Brandi]-_I'm always here miles always.._

_Ahhhhhhhhh M_y screams filled the air as her grasp was wrenched from my finger tips the wind making little work of ripping my world apart as her screams mixed with mine..Brandi was lifted up as the rain pelted down blinding me I heard Noah screaming I heard sirens I heard Brasion my brother yelling.

Brasion tried to grab me but just then the pool turned into a hurricane and swept little Noah up.. my legs weren't working .I tried to stand to grab her but I crashed hard screaming as I landed on my arm. Braz tried to grab her and my eyes widened as I saw a huge piece of glass from the window aimed right at him I tried to yell but all that came out was a strangled yelp as his chest was split open from back. He dropped to his knees eyes wide as they rolled back he grabbed his chest falling to the ground Noah's screams stayed with me as blackness engulfed me.

I was floating somewhere time was a distant memory as I wandered my new surroundings .I saw everything from all Angles. I saw football games, I saw performances from past years ,I saw war , I saw famine, I saw peace ,I saw lights, I saw darkness, I saw kids suffering. I saw kids playing happily, I saw buildings crashing down planes flying into them people jumping from them I saw fire. I saw smoke, I saw tears, I saw fear ,I saw people coming together to help rebuild families torn apart .I saw everything but I felt nothing expect peace... My eyes kept scanning till I saw a car I knew ,I tried to call but it happened so fast I saw her turn..she was laughing at something..he was telling her something ..he never saw the car coming towards them ...I heard the screeches of the tires the shattering of glasses ….

_Mommma!_

_Dad!_

I shot up Gasping for air sweating and shaking it was a dream. I told myself over and over just a bad dream. So why couldn't I shake this feeling of for-looming danger? My heart was beating so fast I thought it would explode trying to calm myself didn't work . Mandy slept peacefully exhausted from today and the past few weeks. Not wanting to wake her I slowly and quietly slipped out of bed god I hated not being able to sleep but I wasn't risking those nightmares again I could still feel my heart beating like crazy .I didn't want those visions of my mom laying broken and bleeding waiting for help to arrive that wouldn't come in time my gorgeous sweet selfless mom who always puts us first who loves me and encourages me like no one else could. My dad who has always been larger then life to me who's arms lifted me up when I was too small too climb up to something who sat with me for hours helping me get the cords right on my first daisy guitar. Tears were spilling out already, I wanted desperately to feel their arms around me. It was pitch dark when I got into the hall well it was like 3am in the dang morning slowly I inched my way through the hall feeling my way with the walls. I was doing pretty dang good till...CRASH...

_[ME]- Ow! What The Dang tooting Blazes was that.._

_[Brasion]- I'm not a That!_

_Your a loser however.._

Blinded by the sudden on slaughter of light I grimaced as his laughter filled the air.

[Brasion]- _Your Crying Again Dang Miles u are a loser_

_And a cry baby _

_[Me] Shutup _

_[Brasion]- Make me cry baby_

I shoved him and he shoved me harder ...neither one of us wanted to move and risk waking mom and dad...he glared at me . I glared back we both needed to go the opposite way finally he gave up and let me pass but he whispered...

_[Brasion] Go Cry To Mommy and Daddy now but you tell them I _

_Pushed u and you'll regret it.._

_[Me] -Brat_

_[Brasion]- At Least I'm more mature then Noah cry Baby_

I didn't care how young it made me seem I curled up with my parents hugging my mom's sleeping form. Feeling so secure in between them it was easy to fall asleep as I put my ear to my mom's back hearing her strong heartbeat. I tried not to wake them but of course mom woke up..

[Mom]- _Baby are you alright?_

I didn't want to worry her so I swallowed and said

_[Me]-Yea mommy I just couldn't sleep and didn't want to wake Mandy_

_Up tossing and turning.._

_[Mom]- You sure baby doll?_

_[Me]- Yes momma .._

_[Mom]- Okay please go to sleep we have a busy day ahead_

_[Me]- I know mom …_

As I drifted off I whispered

[Me] -_Momma I love you_

I didn't think she heard but she turned to me and wrapped her arms around me running her hand through my hair and said softly..

[Mom] – _I love you to miles now go to sleep_

Laughing softly I did as she told me to..

A/N So yea not a great fan of this chapter but it''s for a reason so let me know what you think and review ..Thanks btw if u like BG5 go to facebook and type in Noreen Juliano Birthday Blog and leave a message for her it's her b-day 2mor Sept 23rd .com/pages/Noreen-Juliano-Birthday-Blog/103486536380560?v=wal hope these links work.

and go to /p14VxN-4 leave Brooke a message


	14. Chapter 14 I Hate The Home Coming Queen

**Homeward Bound **

**I Hate The Homecoming Queen **

**Emily p o v**

[Michele] _Oh wow ems you have got to check this dress out!_

_It is so you!_

_[Me]- huh?_

I was out shopping with some of my best friends from when I was a kid Michelle ,Gwen and Cindy. Michelle is like so addicted to shopping we have to go into every store and try on every outfit that she seems to think is so in . We have already killed five hours today just doing this and I was getting drained! Gwen was more into the funky Gothic pieces and wrinkled her nose at the bright red and yellow sundress Michelle was holding up which in truth made me ill. Cracking my neck I saw the purse section and my eyes lit up, oh dang miles would love this new Vera one... Michelle was talking non-stop but I walked to the section and she didn't notice ..till she did and then I paid for it...

[Michelle]- _Emily Osmental get over here now!_

Oh Schnapps I thought why the heck did she do that didn't she think about what would happen if she screamed my full name inside a popular crowded teen star? Well oblivious NOT! Gwen and Cindy both looked up like oh-oh were in trouble as I tried to look for a escape route which was so not happening as so the appropriate song was playing trouble was blasting from the speakers as I tried to run kids were looking up and swarming in packs cell phones were out pictures were being snapped and video's recorded Michelle seemed to get it and was looking worried all of a sudden as Gwen and Cindy grabbed me and we ran through a side entrance shown to us by a employer who wanted us out as much as we wanted a escape. No such luck though the fans followed and tweeted and messaged it on facebook myspace hi5 everywhere Emily O in mad mall rush hurry we tried to get outside but they were everywhere I was never so glad to see mall security in my dang life I swore I wouldn't make one more Rent a cop joke again...they got everyone in order and with the help of staff we got lines which turned into a autograph signing, yes now Michelle was getting it as Security was holding all 3 back. I have to say it went quick though and I was happy to sign for my fans I was also lucky as bad as it was for me if miles was here she would of never gotten to sign cause it would have been so out of control at least I had a chance at normalcy. We were wrapping it up when one little girl was wheeled up in a wheelchair .. My heart went out to her as she came up she looked so small but she was so cute her face was covered almost entirely by a oxygen mask but she was smiling and so happy to see me..I asked her what her name was and she told me it was Shauna and she was 12..she told me she loved the show and loved my voice she asked me if I could sing to her she really liked hate the homecoming queen so I went over to the piano store which was so conveniently behind us and asked afraid they said no I made sure I had my fingers crossed and prayed luckily the owner was a fan who had a heart and said yes..

_Little short skirt with a big attitude  
She wants to be a model  
Wants to be on the tube  
Yeah,  
It's one thing or another  
Shes a trouble trouble  
Watch out if your near  
She can bring you to tears_

Shes got two boyfriends  
And three wannabees  
They follow her around like shes Aphrodite  
Shes number one rated  
But shes already jaded  
And shes following the treads  
In her Mercedes bends  
Everyone wants to know her name  
Walking down the hall shes every guys dream

I hate the homecoming queen  
I'm pretty damn sure  
That cant stand me  
She thinks shes on the cover of a magazine  
I hate the homecoming queen  
Tonight  
That's right

Non fat sugar free mochachinies  
She says "give it to me now you could check the receipts"  
She drinks one after the other  
Shes a trouble trouble  
Tossing back her hair and she just don't care  
Everyone wants to play her game  
Walking down the street shes every guys dream

I hate the homecoming queen  
I'm pretty damn sure  
That cant stand me

She thinks shes on the cover of a magazine  
I hate the homecoming queen  
Tonight  
That's right

She gets everything she asks for  
Buts shes some how always wanting more

Little short skirt with a big attitude  
She wants to be a model  
Wants to be on the tube  
Yeah,  
It's one thing or another  
Shes a trouble trouble  
Watch out if your near  
She can bring you to tears

I hate the homecoming queen  
I'm pretty damn sure  
That she gets to me  
She thinks shes on the cover of a magazine  
I hate the homecoming queen

I hate the homecoming queen  
I'm pretty damn sure  
That she gets to me  
She thinks she's on the cover of a magazine  
I hate the homecoming queen  
Tonight  
That's right

I was lost in the song no one would ever guess who I wrote that song for. As I sung it I flashed back to the first day on set I was 12 . I was scared and so nervous this was my first time being able to prove that I could make it on my own. All my life I had been just the little sister of Haley Jo the famous kid...

memories flashed back as I sang watching her she was smiling and sitting up straight in her chair rocking out to my music. I let the memories take me back..

**6 years before**

" _Remember to read chapters 20 – 25 tonight_

_And do the questions on the back page _

_I want a essay on what you read and how it _

_Impacts your life_

Inwardly I groaned all I cared about was going home and meeting up with my friends we were planning a mall retreat. Finally the bell rang I shot out of my seat along with my whole class Michelle grabbed my arm.

[Michelle]- _omg did you see the new kid _

_[me]- No where?_

_[Michelle] -Over there his names Todd omg he is so cute_

_You two would be adorable together Ems you should ask him out_

_[Me]- No way I couldn't I mean wow he is so cute but I .._

_[Michelle]-Go!_

Before I could protest she shoved me over and I barely had a chance to get my feet grounded before I was thrown on top of him my face was flushed as he looked up from where he was sitting with his friends. Who all hooted and howled making my face flush deeper stuttering I hurried and picked myself up.

_[Me]- I'm sorry my feet just um have their own mind_

_[Todd] That's okay I'm use to pretty ladies falling_

_At my feet happens all the time_

_[Me]- Not at all modest I see_

_I'm Emily..._

_[Todd]- I know Emily Osmental _

_Your Haley's little sister_

_Man that is so cool what's it like being the sister_

_Of the hottest boy in Hollywood?_

_[Mark] – Oh dude that line is a classic_

I knew what was coming before they did it everyone always had to do it cause it was such a cool line.

"I see dead people" everyone just had to repeat that line to me he stared in it when he was 6 it made him famous and I couldn't escape it even years later . I groaned and walked away as I rolled my eyes I couldn't wait to get out of his shadow . It figures I go all year not seeing a single cute boy in this whole school and when I finally do see one he only knows me because of my brother.

Was it ever going to change was I ever going to be known as me? Laying in my bed that night staring up at my ceiling all I could think about was the skateboarding comp I had coming up and the day I would be free of being his little sister don't get me wrong I love my older brother Haley but I didn't want to be compared to him my whole life.. I was exhausted just thinking about all of this..when my mom came rushing in screaming at the top of her lungs …

_[Mom]- You got it! You got it Ohmygodemilyyougotit!_

_[Me]-Huh?_

I shut up looking at her what the heck was she talking about? Got what? My eyelids were heavy but I shock my head trying to clear my head as I looked up at her she came running in waving the phone,

[Me]- _What are you talking about?_

_[Mom]- Emily you got the part!_

_[Me]-What part?_

I had been auditioning like crazy for months were TV shows and movies so which one did I get? Well I'm sure you all know which one it was now.

The first day on set I was so scared all I wanted was to do the best job I could and have fun and make my own name. I wanted the best of both worlds I was so happy that I could still go to school and keep my friends while doing this job. Problem was I wasn't the star she was and she had everything an amazing family who really loved each other and were there for each other who didn't fight like mine. She had talent pouring out of every bone in her body she was funny and smart and sweet Mitchel and her bonded instant bff's .I wanted to but I was jealous so damn jealous I couldn't even see how jealous I was all I saw was that she had what I wanted the fame and recognizing that I craved. We tried really hard to be friends but she didn't trust girls at the time I had no idea she had been abused and harassed and tortured by her 6 grade class mates the year before I just though she was stuck up. I wrote Home coming queen about her but I made it so it could fit any girl looking up at someone they wanted to be like but couldn't.

I hated it but at the same time I really liked her and I wanted it to work between us. It wasn't like I wanted her fame .I just wanted to be known for me and not as his sister. It's funny the one person who I never thought would understand was the one who understood best. It took two years before we became close but while filming the movie we started to talk I saw her hometown and I saw how peaceful it is and why she liked it so much I also saw how much of a change it was for her coming from a small town where she had friends and family to a place that was so big and where she knew no one. Don't get me wrong we didn't become automatic besties but we reached a understanding and we slowly started to hang more. Now I can honestly say she's one of my closet friends one who I would call when I needed someone at 1 am. I love her to death and she's the one who helped me see that I was special and I didn't need to prove myself to anyone I just needed to love myself and know who I was and everyone else would see it.

When I finished I looked over and Shauna was grinning holding up her thumbs a crowd had gathered and they applauded when I was done. I loved seeing them happy moms asked for autographs and pictures with me which I graciously did talking to the kids getting to know them it was great being able to talk to them and interact and not have to have security around like miles would. One girl came up grinning with a skateboard in her hands.

_[Mindy]- Lily I did it I won the competition_

_Using the moves I saw you do on TV! Thanks!_

I laughed she was so cute but it made me shake my head she thought I was really Lily she had to be like 6 or 7. I hugged her and signed her board it was great to be a inspiration to her. But I could see why miles wanted to break free it got to be too much when people couldn't separate you from who you play on TV.

Michelle was already beckoning for me to hurry up smiling I high fived the girl. Making a note to text miles to caught up with her later. I needed to talk to her but it could wait till tomorrow.

**A/N so this chapter did not turn out like I hoped it was better in my mind when I envisioned it last week but hopefully it wasn't to horrible. What did u think? Tell me if u can be nice...**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**review **

**please**


	15. Chapter 15 Breathing In Breathing Out

**Breathing In , Breathing Out**

**Selena**

I still could not believe Disney was making me go out with Justin taking a deep breath I tried repeatedly to calm myself but nothing was working. I just kept looking over and seeing Nick sitting with miles which was only making me madder for reasons I couldn't explain. I mean it was obvious she was not into him she kept trying to wiggle away from his arm which was inching it's way over her shoulders. Her back was erratic to him as she laughed with Demi, who was leaning into Joe's arms but damn Nick would be crazy not to want her I mean she was looking gorgeous in a short black mini skirt with a see through purple mesh top that was strapless. Knee high black buckled boots, her hair was crimped and hung down cascading past her shoulders , she had light makeup on which made her spotless face glow even brighter. Nick was doing everything to make her see him and she did finally notice she turned to him smiling he inched his face closer to hers tears hot as sand on a desert floor burned my eye lids why the hell was I feeling this way why was my chest burning why did my stomach suddenly feel like it was going to come up my throat? I was so damn tired of feeling confused breath in breath out. I told myself over and over but it wasn't working not at all. The music was too loud pumping out from every wall every speaker it gave me a migraine it made me dizzy people were pulsing with every beat I was being shoved and pushed as I tried to get off the floor. By the time I got to the bar I was panting the tears were flowing freely let him kiss her damn it see if I cared..No Nick wouldn't do that to me not again..He couldn't he knew how much I loved him needed him..but he will never love you not like you love him..You know It Selena be a women let him go don't be that whiny selfish insecure little girl you were 3 years ago have some pride walk away let him be with her..but I love him..he loves me to I know it! The voices filled my head their yelling crashed against my skull..as memories flashed by my mind..Nick and I over the years Nick and her...

_[Bartender]- What will it be Miss ?_

I looked up swallowing hard it burned my throat as I wiped the tears away my eyes felt like sand paper the words stuck to my raw throat ..it didn't matter that I was under age he was willing to sever me the things fame will let you get away with...I didn't like Alcohol I tried it a few times back home ..but suddenly I wanted it craved it needed it..

_[Me]-Gin and tonic please_

No questions.. No Id because we both knew too damn well I was too damn young but then wasn't I too young to be in love to have a hit TV show a top selling CD. I swallowed the drink as soon as he sat it down that stuff was so strong my nostrils burned my eyes watered my throat and chest were on fire..but I drank it all and the next three..before I moved on to something stronger..whiskey..nothing was working too numb this pain.. memories of us flashed in my mind as I clutched the glass..his whispered words of love as we made love his promises of forever ..Where was forever now when he was with her?

I couldn't blame her really no she was single she had every right to go go after what she wanted but damn why did what she want have to be the boy I was in love with? Why did she have to take everything that was mine? The tears were flowing again I couldn't stop them I didn't care that people were watching some were so rude as to snap pictures even get it on video I heard them asking but I ignored them let them watch what did it matter anyway the damn media would print what it wanted fans would believe what they chose.

[Nick]- _Selena..There you are baby?_

I felt him before I finally heard him his hand was resting on my shoulder. I turned and looked at him his eyes burned into mine he was concerned why was I crying? Of course he was lost he never saw his own mistakes. I saw them though in clear perfect visions and I was so sick of them. I pushed his hands off my shoulders stepping off the stool dizzy suddenly but I wouldn't let him catch me never again..

_[Me]- You know what is wrong Nicholas _

_Don't even pretend to be clueless_

_I saw you with her_

_[Nick]- With who Lena?_

He looked clueless...

_[Me]- Miley why don't you go back _

_To her I'm sure she's lonely_

_Sitting by herself waiting on you_

_We wouldn't that either would we_

_Since we both know she's the one you really want to be with_

_Don't even try to lie I'm sick of it_

_[Nick]- I swear it's not a lie we were just talking_

_Nothing happened!_

_[Me]- Yet but you want it to just can't find the way_

_To do it without getting caught huh?_

_Well don't worry bout it I'm letting you go_

_[Nick]- What do you mean your letting me go?_

_You can't just decided things like this Lena were a item _

_A team a couple Nelena forever_

_I love you!_

_[Me]- Oh give it up already don't act like _

_I'm too stupid to see it _

_[Nick]- See what Selena your not making any sense Damn it_

_Your too drunk to even know what your saying_

_[Me]- NO I'm not!_

He was getting so frustrated I knew it I saw it in his face which was getting redder as people had stopped dancing and were looking at us now, he tried to grab me but I shock him off I was just getting started, my mood was in full swing in full bitch mode. I didn't care who saw us who heard what..he did I could see it in his eyes...as he hissed at me to knock it off tone it down..his brothers of course raced to his side..Demi was with Joe I saw the look in her eyes she pitied me shit I hated pity hated it with a passion and it fueled me...

_[Me]- I'm sick of the lies Nick_

_Sick of being the good little girl_

_While you run off to screw her behind my back_

_[Miles] -I'm not sleeping with him!_

She was shocked I saw it in her face..I didn't care truth or not...her face was red I'm sure she was probably seeing the headlines now for tomorrow's tabloids. Let her worry how many times did I have to sit at home wondering where he was?

_[Me]- I did everything for you Nicholas_

_Everything! I changed my hair my clothes_

_The way I laughed _

_I was always there for you I was the one cheering for you_

_I was the one on your arms when she was making songs_

_To diss you who was there?_

_I WAS!_

_Damn it what did I ever get?_

_A thank you?_

_Nothing that's what I got_

_Oh yea lies betrayal _

_I got them to thanks Nick_

_SO much for breaking my heart again!_

_I swore I would never go back to you_

_I swore I would never put myself through this hell!_

_But you won again didn't you _

_You sweet talked me into taking you back_

_And laughed at me behind my back_

_While you were sneaking off with her!_

_And you !_

I pointed at miles who looked ready to crawl into a hole and hide forever she had no clue what was happening her eyes were scared as she hide behind Demi who looked just as clueless but angry god I hated this...but damn I was on fire to..

[Me]-_Your betrayal is the worst _

_We were suppose to be friends Miley_

_Friends don't treat each other this way_

_Friends don't lie and steal each others boyfriends_

_[Miles]- We aren't... We ..I mean I didn't_

_I wouldn't I...I don't love him_

Dang I had her and I knew it..she was beat red and stuttering almost as much as I was struggling to stay upright..Why was the room spinning so dang much? I hadn't had that much too drink..had I?

_[Me]-Liar [ I hissed]_

I hissed feeling ill

_[Me]- Then how did you explain this?_

I slammed the picture of the two of them outside the studio from a few days ago in her face she went pale. I mean ghostly pale in the photo their faces were so close that if you weren't up close and personal you couldn't tell if they were kissing or not but it gave the impression that they had ..

_[Me]- I caught you two red handed again!_

_So don't stand there and lie I see it here!_

_I knew I should of never have trusted you!_

_Either one of you_

_I'm so sick of being used and thrown out_

_I'm not your mop Nick you can't have me _

_And wash your hands of me when ever she wants you_

_[Nick]- Enough! Selena Stop we need to talk in.._

_[Me]- No get off of me!_

I shoved his hand off my arm and stumbled back..the room spun as I felt his hands on me steadying me looking concerned but I wasn't about to let him in again...I tried to stand and push him off but my legs started to buckle his arm wrapped around me as my eyes connected with his...and I puked all over his shoes..people gasped snapping pictures getting it on video...I shoved him and ran off..

The world was lite by colors, sounds, lights, my breathing was heavy as I stumbled out a door falling down tears squeezed out of my eyes. My head was hurting so bad I thought it would explode staring out in the distance. I prayed someone would be able to sort this mess out. People were staring at me as I slide down whispering let them whisper I didn't care...What else could go wrong? As if on cue a voice called out to me..

[Justin]- _What Is a Beautiful Girl like you doing crying_

_Out here in the cold? _

I didn't answer he was so drunk it made me question if there was any rule that couldn't be broken in Hollywood. Friends were egging him on ...

[Me]- _Why Would You Care?_

_[Justin]- Why Wouldn't I?_

_Were going to be partners right?_

_[Me]- No You will be a co-worker_

_Not My Friend not my Partner your nothing but a_

_[ His Friends ]_

_Go Justin! Go!_

Before I knew it his lips were on mine I was shocked into motionless ..So what was it like to kiss Justin Beeper?

All I could remember was staring straight past his shoulder to see Nick standing there shocked...hurt...disgusted... my heart was racing my stomach felt sick ...I didn't know what to say ..the alcohol was still making me dizzy and confused so I did the only thing I could do I kissed him back.


	16. Chapter 16 Forgotten

**Mandy p o v**

**Forgotten **

This had to be the longest day in history meetings after meeting I couldn't wait get home to Miley not that I didn't love BG5 and what we were working towards like our trip to London for our UK Tour in a month. But the meetings were torture when we finally broke the only thing I had on my mind was getting to miley's house ..

[Dominique] – _Mandy are you coming with us?_

_[Me]-Huh?_

_[Brooke Laughing] -Are you coming with us?_

_[Me]- Where I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention_

I felt my face flush as Noreen rolled her eyes making the girls laugh ..

[Laura]- _Mandy has only one thing on her mind and we all _

_know who that is..._

My face kept flushing as her applied impression made it's mark. They kept the discussion going with Mandy jokes just as I was about to explode my cell rang it was miles a sigh of relief escape my lips. Then I saw the text..

**Miley: Disney's making me go to this thing at a club srry babe luv ya**

Sighing I texted her back...

**ME: S'kay sweetie miss u already I'll head out with the gurls**

**text me l8r luv ya 2**

_[Noreen]- Cheer up Darlin' will make sure you have fun_

Noreen and Dominique linked arms with me I looked over at Laura who was talking to Brooke not even noticing they all thought I was depressed cause Brian had canceled they had no clue I was in love and engaged to Miley. They just thought the ring I was fooling with was a really expensive friendship ring. I let my head sink down to Noreen's shoulder she was already making me laugh which eased me.

Not even sure what club we ended up at I remember Brooke buying me a drink and toasting to our up coming tour as Dominique cracked jokes.

**Selena**

I'm not even sure how much alcohol I had or how much he had I just remember waking up in some bed naked with Justin sleeping beside me. Tears filled my eyes god tell me I didn't do what I thought I did? God No! Slipping out of bed I fought back the tears as I stumbled grabbing my clothes..my body was so sore I could hardly move and all I wanted was to get out but my legs would barely hold me up as I fumbled my way out to the main night club where was Demi ? Where Was she Miley? Why had they left me? Heck where was Nick? My head was hurting bad...Everybody was dancing in groups the club had emptied out so much it left me wondering what time it was I was sweating and felt exhausted where was my purse my cell hell where was anything? Why was my stomach killing me to the point of vomiting? Moaning I slide down to the wall...my breaths coming in gasps …what the hell had happened here tonight? God Selena why can't you remember ..

_[ME]- Dumb Dumb dumb so dumb_

I hit my forehead with my palm as I buried my face in my knees

_[Justin]- Don't do that baby there's nothing dumb about you_

_What we did was magic_

_[Me]- Stop with the wizards term _

_What we did was ...I don't even know how to explain it_

_Just please.._

_[Justin]- Baby stop your obliviously still over whelmed _

_By me I mean I am so cute_

_[Me]- And so full of yourself please I am so.._

I tried to stand and as soon as I did I felt myself falling over he reached out to grab me but I tried to push him off..either he was too strong or I was too drunk but his arms wrapped around me as I fell into them losing my balance his eyes were burying into me, he did have great eyes..the feel of his arms around me somehow made me forget everything as he lifted me up leading me outside. The cool air felt amazing but made me shiver...bright flashes filled my eyes as I tried to shield myself . Damn paparazzi

can't they ever leave me alone? Why was Justin wrapping his arms round me god I felt repulsive every time .I tried to push him off he got closer I felt his hand on my legs feeling me up so I pushed him but he grabbed my hands and pulled me closer. I was too drunk to fight him off he just kept getting closer I tried to get up and tripped he grabbed me and before I knew it I was sitting in his lap inches from his face. Totally grossed out but too sick too move the room was spinning I felt sicker by the minute …

_[Justin]- Don't worry Baby I got you_

_[Me]- The only thing you got is my last nerve fried _

_Get your hands off me..._

I tried to stand as I pushed him off and immediately the cement came rushing towards me I regretted it as soon as I did the flashes increased just as I heard..

_[Maria]- Selena Marie Go..Get Your soon to be grounded butt_

_In the car now!_

_[ME]- Huh?_

I stood up grabbing the bush but Justin stood by me grabbing me he made me sick.. What was my TV mom doing here? Why was she yelling at me oh crap I was in trouble she never came out unless what ever it was could effect the show what had gone on tonight and why couldn't I remember...

She was by me grabbing me steadying me instantly it felt good to be in her arms I could smell her perfume as my face fell against her chest ...she started stroking my hair muttering in Spanish as she turned to Justin..

_[Maria]- Thank you for calling me I have no _

_Clue what got into her_ ..

[Justin]- _Oh not a problem ma'am I just hate to see her_

_Throw everything away I mean it's got to be rough_

_And don't tell anyone but she's cute..._

_[Maria]- Your very sweet kid I won't tell_

_And she's too drunk to remember thanks for keeping this low key_

_[Justin]- No problem I better go my mom will be waiting..._

I heard her yelling at the paparazzi to give us room and be respectful which of course all they did was snap more pictures and block the way more. Somehow she got me into the car the air condition felt so awesome, I leaned back and sighed trying not to cry what the hell had happened? What was I in for in the morning? She didn't say anything when she got in but I felt her eyes tear into me I felt her hands rub my back as she helped me inside her house and hold my hand back as I threw up over and over till I was completely empty . I vaguely recall her helping me stand up getting undressed and into the tub then into dry clothes and slip into bed. She stayed by me as the tears came .I heard her whispering Spanish words to me I didn't understand what she was saying but the tone was so soothing it just broke me down the feel of her hands on my face and hair comforted me. At some point I fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

It's strange how in life there are some memories that are engraved so deep in your memories that you can never forget like your first time you have a crush your first time you discovered what you really love to do the first time you meet someone. Then there are memories you wish you could forget like when you trip in front of the whole school and land in the mud pile the awful nick names kids come up with for you the first time you realize something you thought was awesome was really uncool...yet there are also memories that for whatever reason you want to even need to remember but can't there there on the tip of your brain struggling to come out but you just can't reach them...they vanished like air forgotten over time.


	17. Chapter 17 A Year Without Rain

**A Year Without Rain**

**Selena p o v**

**A/N- I own nothing which sucks ]**

Nick's Arms were wrapped around me as we slow danced . I couldn't tell where we were but I could hear the music in my head as he spun me around our bodies were so closely pressed together that I felt his whole body pressed against my most intermittent areas which made me moan ...his lips brushed slightly against my neck slowly sucking on my neck as I whispered my love for him...I was lost in his amazing eyes .I didn't see the surroundings till it suddenly disappeared and I fell into pure blackness shooting up..

_[Me]- Nick ,Nick! Where Are .._

I was sweating and shivering when I looked up Maria was laying beside me stroking my hair

_[Maria]- Oh Mia What happened?_

I looked up at her as if I was searching for the answers on her face and came up completely blank she looked straight into my eyes .I could see the sadness as she pulled me to her ..

[Me]- _Maria What happened to me how did I get here?_

_[Maria]- Oh sweetie I wish I could tell you_

_I was hoping that you could tell me_

_Do you remember anything?_

_Anything at all that could help me?_

I thought about it hard but everything was a blur I was still dizzy and nauseated she got up as I tried to scrambled after her but a wave of dizziness washed over me leaving me weak.

[Maria]- _Lena Stop Baby_

_I'm only getting a wash cloth_

_I'm coming back _

She was by my side in a instant helping me back to bed .I moaned as my head rolled side to side she gently placed her hands against my scalp and steadied me laying me back.

[Maria]- _Lay back and try to close your eyes_

_I promise I will be back in 10 minutes I have to get the girls up _

_For summer camp I want you to rest do you feel ill?_

_[ME]- Yea but I'll be okay_

I groaned she looked worried

[Maria]- _Are you Sure?_

I coughed and took a deep breath calming myself wetting my lips I crocked out a yes.

When she was sure I was going to be okay she left to go get Maddie and Bridget up. Looking outside I saw how amazing the garden looked she's from Miami and loves flowers and tropical gardens so she has a huge selection in her back yard there was a gentle breeze slightly blowing and with the window opened just a smudge . I could inhale the amazing aromas which surprisingly didn't make me want to vomit it seemed to sooth me.. I loved watching the variety of colors dance and sway with the breeze almost like they heard their own music. It was amazing how much work it took to keep them alive I knew she was always in there it was her way to relax but I wondered how she found the time she was so busy with our show with her kids with promotional stuff for Disney they needed so much just to maintain their magnificence trimming, watering ,neutralizing ,spacing, food just like a human expect they couldn't care for themselves you forget even one thing like water and they wilted and died...sighing I looked away and closed my eyes...if I tried hard enough maybe I could remember ..where was I yesterday afternoon?

I kept trying but it was a blank my head was pounding so hard it drove me crazy. I could hear her yelling in Spanish at Bridget who yelled back so I knew she would be awhile why can't I remember?

Deep breaths I told myself in and out in and out in and out finally I calmed down some ...my eyes slide shut as I tried to remember what I did...yesterday..

It wasn't a unusual day I mean I woke up at 7 went for a run had breakfast showered went to work had lunch with Demi ...my eyes started to feel heavy as I thought about everything...

" [Me]- _I can't believe how today went!_

_Go I am so Stressed out!_

_[Nick]-I'll help you relax baby just lay back and I'll work out_

_Those kinks_

_[Me]-Oh I bet you will you and those magic fingers_

I laughed making him blush but truth was his fingers always knew how to relax me. I could feel the tension float right out of me as he worked his fingers through my stiffened muscles over my cramped neck. My eyes closing as he put his lips over my throat working his way down my neck till he got to my chest where I slowly turned so I was straddling him...I heard him moaning..as my fingers worked their way up his chest...

_[Me]_-_ I Love you_

_[Nick]- I Love you To Baby_

It came in bits and pieces we were talking ,laughing, massaging, kissing ,touching, moaning ,making love, talking and yelling..

[ **A/N- **Think of this as a flashback scene in her head as she dreams where everything blurs together ]

_[Me]- _

_Oh give it up already don't act like _

_I'm too stupid to see it _

_[Nick]- See what Selena your not making any sense Damn it_

_Your too drunk to even know what your saying_

_[Me]- NO I'm not!_

_I'm sick of the lies Nick_

_Sick of being the good little girl_

_While you run off to screw her behind my back_

_OH God No what Did I do!_

I sat up shaking and sweating feeling the urge to vomit really strong just as the door flew open hard and Maria came in looking scared..

_[Maria]- Mia What's wrong?_

I looked up at her as tears filled my eyes she came right over wrapping her arms around me and I let loose without saying anything she was so comforting just rocking me and kissing my head...letting me cry..

_[ME]- I think I blew it!_

_Maria I think I dumped Nick last night_

_God how can I be so stupid!_

_He has to hate me!_

_[Maria]- No Mia he could never hate you _

_You listen to me Mia whatever happened last night_

_You can fix this you are one of the most_

_Sweetest Successful, beautiful girls out here_

_Nick would have to be a dumb, blinded, deaf fool_

_To Ever hate you_

_And I know he's not either _

_You need to take some time to relax _

_And clear your head before you talk to him_

_Okay Lena? _

_Lena?_

_[Me]-Yea I heard you_

_[Maria]- Good now clean up we have to be on set in 2 hrs_

I nodded as she left but I didn't move...

After I ate or was forced to eat I went out to the garden of course it was a perfect sunny day the wind had died down and the sun was hot beating down on my bare arms but it warmed me up a bit I needed it since inside I was feeling very cold, tired walking through the gardens gave me a sense of peace that I needed I wondered what was he thinking right now? Did he miss me or was she comforting him? The thought made me sick I wanted to hold him to show him .I loved him and I didn't want this breakup to be real..that I was just too drunk to know what I was doing...my world felt so empty without him..and so cold..I kept walking hoping if I walked hard enough long enough that maybe .I would walk into a different world where this wasn't real..the flowers blended into one till I somehow ended up in the middle. I breathed in the fragrance closing my eyes...

_[Nick]- Lena open those gorgeous eyes.._

_Lena I'm calling you..._

_[Me]-Nick!_

My eyes shot open as a wind ripped open a spot in the flowers and there he was with his guitar smiling at me with his gorgeous eyes looking right into mine his curls hanging over his forehead making him look so boyish and cute...

[Nick]- _Lena Don't panic I'm right here I told you _

_Before I am always here for you_

_[Me]- But Nick I was so awful to you_

_I don't know how you can forgive me_

_[Nick]- What's to forgive you were drunk and I was getting too _

_Close to Miles but that's over I swear _

_[Me]- Nick I am so sorry I just I .._

_[Nick]- Shh Lena it's okay_

_I swear listen to me_

_You know I'm not good with words _

_But I can sing to you how much I love you_

_Never thought I would believe it..  
Never thought I could.  
feeling like__that,  
feeling like this,  
feeling like everybody knows_

That we got something real, shawty  
I know what I feel  
something like that,  
something like this  
Its a question that everybody knows  
but you  
So here it goes

Cause I never even noticed  
Took a while for me to see  
Playing back the moments  
And I'm starting to believe

to be,to show and know everyone  
But its you who makes me sing  
And I know where we are, I know who I am  
Baby I'm your biggest fan

Every time you smile for me  
Takes me a while to bring myself back  
Cause you're all that  
And I just had to let you know

That I'm screaming out in the crowd for you  
I can't be too loud, but I don't care  
I let them all stare  
I just want everyone to know the truth  
It's only you

I never even noticed  
Took a while for me to see  
(While for me to see)  
Playing back the moments  
And I'm starting to believe  
(Starting to believe)

To be,to show and know everyone  
But its you who makes me sing  
I know where we are, I know who I am  
Baby I'm your biggest fan

you showed up and u looked so classy  
made me think twice 'bout the way i was acting,  
you were real from the start of it all,  
like a dream came to life now I'm left in all,  
stars shine but your light is the brightest,  
love flies but your love is the highest,  
you're so sweet that it drives me crazy,  
a summer like no other you're my L.A Baby

I never even noticed  
Took a while for me to see  
Playing back the moments  
And I'm starting to believe

to be,to show and know everyone  
But its you who makes me sing  
And I know where we are, I know who I am  
Baby I'm your biggest fan  
baby I'm your biggest fan 

_[Me]- Aw Nicky..I love it I love you_

_[Nick]- I swear we can work out whatever problem we have _

_Selena just give me a chance_

Nick leaned up our lips started to connect …

[Maria]- _Selena What are you doing?_

My feet slipped and I fell forward flat into the earth, yuck have you ever eaten dirt? I wouldn't advice it ..shaking my head I looked up she had a bewildered look on her face all she muttered was …mia my poor mia over and over...looking around I realized Nick was never there which just depressed me more..Maria left me god she must think I am so stupid..collapsing on a bench . I buried my face in my hands letting the tears flow...what was I going to do without him .I loved him more then life my heart wasn't just breaking it was torn out left to shiver up..the tears clogged my throat and my eyes wiping them away. I looked up just as the wind blew snapping a flower off it's stem the poor flower was dried up and shivered like it hadn't had rain in forever...the flower made me cry harder it reminded me of my heart..I felt so bad for it flowers needed what we did our hearts needed love ..which is like water it feeds our souls and helps us to grow ...without love it shivers up and dies...I sat there for who knows how long watching this dang flower till Maria came back with a towel and forced me up a slight wind blew again but this time . I swear it whistled a melody to me I looked up the sun was shining down on me and it warmed me up. I swallowed and tried to convince myself it would be okay...they say to be a great artiest you have to experience great pain and great joy well Nick gave me that and more which is probably why he inspires great songs like the one he helped me write as I sat in the garden...

I played it over in my head as we rode to the studio...

_Can you feel me  
When I think about you  
With every breath I take_

Every minute  
No matter what I do  
My world is an empty place

Like I've been wonderin the desert  
For a thousand days

Don't know if it's a mirage  
But I always see your face, baby

I'm missing you so much  
Can't help it, I'm in love

A day without you is like a year without rain  
I need you by my side

Don't know how I'll survive  
A day without you is like a year without rain

Whhoooaaa

The stars are burning  
I hear your voice in my mind  
Can't you hear me calling  
My heart is yearning  
Like the ocean that's running dry  
Catch me I'm falling

It's like the ground is crumbling underneath my feet  
Won't you save me

There's gonna be a monsoon  
When you get back to me baby

I'm missing you so much  
Can't help it, I'm in love  
A day without you is like a year without rain  
I need you by my side  
Don't know how I'll survive  
A day without you is like a year without rain

So let this drought come to an end  
And may this desert flower again  
And I need you here  
I can't explain  
But a day without you  
Is like a year without rain

I'm missing you so much  
Can't help it, I'm in love  
A day without you is like a year without rain  
I need you by my side  
Don't know how I'll survive  
A day without you is like a year without rain 


	18. Chapter 18 Headlines

**Head Lines**

**Miley p o v**

Shaking out any last amounts of nerves I took a deep breath my dancers were all stretching mom was talking to my stage manger about last minute changes. I couldn't get out of my head what had happened last night why the hell had she flipped like that? She had to know how crazy it was I mean seriously me and Nick? We had been over for like ever! Reaching my arms over my head I stretched not even seeing one of my dancers JC come up and started to massage my shoulders making me groan in appreciation...I couldn't blame her entirely thou I mean what the heck was up with him! All night he kept trying to get closer to me while we were sitting there in a booth next to each other NOT my idea that was all DISNEY! He kept putting his arm over my shoulders hanging over me listening to every word I said with a insistently that was annoying . I could feel the hairs on my neck standing up he was so dang close I could smell his cherry vanilla breath and somehow his fingers kept sneaking their way down to my shoulders over my arms and further down . I wanted so bad to scream and push him off but they were everywhere...they? Yes Disney's little spies and the damn media rats I couldn't make a move without being chewed out..we had to present a happy little family for HIM..Justin as if I didn't have enough reason's to hate that little rat this just added to it...Nick had no problem snuggling closer to me I was trying desperately to get away but he kept finding ways to get closer to me...

[Mom]- _Miles 5 minutes till show time_

_It's time for pop off_

I snapped my neck as she came up and kissed my head..she knew I was stressed from last night Mandy and her got the blunt end last night when I got home...they sat up hearing me vent till 3 am then Mandy went to work and we had to fly out here to England to preform...finally it was time taking a deep breath we circled around each other holding hands yelling pop off Jen hugged me as we got ready to go on...

An hour of running around stage belting out your songs as you sweat your butt off dancing can make you forget anything which is one of the things .I love most about being up here connecting with my fans and preforming my music is something that will always bring me so much comfort. Dancing with my friends as we laughed made me feel secured and like I was far away from the glare of Holly Wood's life.

Looking out at the audience I smiled they were holding up signs saying they loved me and wanted me to know it, they supported me and wanted me to know it. Taking a big swallow of water and a deep breath I ran up and waved even that simple jester caused them to scream and jump up going crazy which still amazed me.

[ME]-_ Thanks Everyone one of my next songs_

_Is Full Circle _

I turned around signaling to my band to start as I muttered to Ashlee who laughed ...

_Big surprise it's about a Jonas Brother_

There was a big gasp in the audience I looked at Ash who shrugged not knowing why they gasped but as soon as I started they went wild.

Interviews upon interviews I hardly remembered what was said but I did get to see a few sites which I made a mental note on to make sure Mandy knew where to visit when she came in 4 weeks. Finally I had a break so I took out my mom and Noah to breakfast since it was 8 am the next day now and shopping. Laughing with my family really helped me to clear my head little did I know I would need it.

**It's on again!**

**Selena Out, Miley in**

**JB covered up Lies and cheating**

This is what I woke up to Noah tried to hide it behind her but I saw her shove it behind her back

[ME]-_What Do you Have there Noah ?_

_[Noah]- Nothing Miles..._

_[ME]- Don't Lie Noah Give it to me.._

_[Noah]- No!_

_[Me]- Yes Give it To Me_

_[Noah]- No Mom!_

_[Me]-Don't Be A Brat!_

I leaped at her and grabbed her hand she tried to fight me off soon we were wrestling and hair pulling

[Mom]- _Girls Stop it right now! I'm On _

_The Phone with a Producer! _

_[ME]- Give it To Me Dork_

_[Noah]- Fine Be That Way!_

_I Tried!_

What was her problem? I was fuming as I grabbed the hidden treasure which was a paper...I gasped as I saw the head line with a picture of me and Nick leaning into each other looking like we were going to kiss my face showed the shock I assume cause Noah shock her head walking away as I sunk down what the heck? It's as bad as I thought? We Weren't doing anything how could they print this? Tears filled my eyes why couldn't they leave it alone Mandy aw god she couldn't see this but she loved me I mean she would have to know it was all bull right..Just cause I was in love with Nick once years ago didn't mean we were going to reconnect now...I buried my face in my hands falling on top of the table which caused a avalanche cussing slammed my fist into the table as I went to pick up the pile which was more papers upon papers..tears fell as I looked at them all..more headlines ..

Miley And Nick Secret Lovers

Meeting

Miley Pregnant!

Nick Is The Father

Selena IS Ferocious !

Neelna No More Niley Forever!

Each article went on to say what a horrible person I was how I was planning to sneak off with Nick and how we had been having secret meetings for months behind Selena's back how we had planned to steal her money and make her public enemy number one so people would turn back to my side. One went on to say I was pregnant and Demi had helped me hide it from Selena..I was beyond crushed it was lies all lies why were they still trying to bring me down?

Mandy I needed her so bad right now but I was afraid to call in case my phone was bugged the tears came down in giant waves so hard my whole body shock. Before I knew it mom was there holding me talking to me softly.

**Selena**

_[Me]- What am I going to do?_

_Demi help me!_

_[Demi]- Baby I don't know but you need to relax_

_I promise it will be okay_

I had been pacing Demi's floor for hours we had been in her room since we returned from the studio her mom had been there to meet me at the door hugging me everyone had seen the headlines trashing me the pictures of me drunk and going off at them..of course she told me I was staying with them for the next few days till things blew over it was times like this I missed my mom but I knew I had a support system what I didn't have was Nick. That thought made me sick so sick I had to run to the bathroom to empty everything. Demi was by me holding my hair rubbing my back I heard her mouthing "oh Lena my poor Lena" . The head lines painted me as some crazed drunk person who hated Miley and was out to kill her they claimed I made threats against her and that after wards we got into a fist fight.. total lies ...when I looked up Joe was there outside talking to Demi ...slowly I stood up and made my way to clean up...my stomach was still hurting but I chalked it up to nerves ..they seemed to be having a heated discussion ,I was afraid to come in between it but I knew it had to do with me...

[Me]- _Joe I'm so sorry I honestly don't know what came over me_

_[Joe]- Yea I heard that before Selena like every other time_

_You went off on my brother_

_[Me]- I really.. I never wanted to hurt Nick_

_[Joe]- So why couldn't you just trust him_

_He wasn't fooling with Miley it's been over for them_

_For years.._

_[Me]- I know and god when I saw them together I don't know_

_[Joe]- That's always been your problem you act before you speak_

_[Demi]- Wait don't put all the blame on her Nick was doing everything_

_In his powers to make her jealous god he was practically_

_On Miley's lap_

_[Joe]- Who's side are you on?_

_[Demi]- I'm not on anyone's side!_

_I just want everyone to be happy_

_[Joe]- Well sometimes you can't have everyone happy_

_Life is full of winners and to get the winners there _

_Has to be losers some where_

_[Me]-I'm Sorry Joe if I can just talk to Nick_

_[Joe] -Forget it Selena he wants nothing to do with you_

_Now leave him alone_

_Sorry has come and gone_

_[Me]- What can I do to convince him_

_Please I love him I can't lose him!_

_[Joe]- Maybe you should of thought about that before you got piss_

_Drunk and made a fool of yourself _

_Were not into that Selena we want to maintain_

_A Clean image we have young fans who look_

_Up To Us_

_[Demi]- So what are you trying to say?_

_That She's not good enough?_

_Selena is one of the most cleanest _

_Celebrities out here she never gets into trouble_

_She's rarely in the head lines_

_[Joe]- Maybe that was true but People Change_

_You proved it two nights ago _

_[Demi]- She's stressed Joe Don't you ever get stressed_

_She got insecure_

_And Nick wasn't innocent _

_[Joe]- That_

_Doesn't make it okay to get loaded and_

_Blast him_

_I'm done Talking about this Demi_

_If You can't see that..._

_[Demi]- Then What Joe?_

_Watch what you say cause your really pissing me off_

_[Joe]- Then maybe we shouldn't be together right now_

_I'm sorry but my brother comes first_

_[Demi]- Of course he does Joe when things get to rough_

_You Run and hide just like a scared little boy_

That really pissed him off her quoting his ex our friend Taylor his face was red I was hiding behind her tears just over flowing ...She held my arm steady to keep me from falling..

[Demi]- _God Forbid one of you ever take credit_

_For your mistakes it's always easier to blame the girl _

_[Joe]- It's not like that and you know it_

_Demi just.._

_[Demi]- Just Go Joe _

_Get out of here you did your part_

_You came over here and ranted and raved_

_Made Selena feel like crap_

_Aren't You just a big bad boy then_

_That's right you got the story!_

She yelled to the media who were all watching dang miles for going out of town they were all by Demi's house now . They were eating this up I sagged against her more ways to twist the story more head lines for the rest of the week.

Later when we were in the house again she was pacing and I was laying on the bed with Taylor who had raced over as soon as she saw the 8 o'clock news which of course we made top Head Lines. I felt like crap alright not only had I tanked my relationship I manged to tank my best friends relationship as well..I was off to a great week so far...I collapsed on the bed groaning

I could already see the next head line...

The Witch That Killed Disney...

**Miley**

As We rode home I pondered over the headlines what was this going to do to Hannah Montana season four? I really wanted it to be the best to give the fans what they wanted and deserved for sticking by me this couldn't hurt could it? What was Disney going to do to me now? Last time the head lines hit the fans they tried to make me dump Mandy saying she was a bad influence it was hell she's the one person who calms me down and keeps me sane I couldn't give her up!

I wouldn't!

God I need to talk to Brandi she always knew how to make me feel better. My breathing was tense and ragged it I felt my face flushing I felt sick to my stomach ..it's ironic how back in TN when I was growing up all I wanted was too see my name in lights to be the one making head lines I mean that's how you know that you made it right? Those city lights shining in a almost glittery eerie way calling out your very real presence in a land of make believe if people were talking about you then you had arrived right? Well it was hard to make it so you craved that time in the papers the chance to get your picture taken to have people trailing after you... problem is once you make it you have to stay there and that's 10x harder then making it so you have to keep them talking keep giving them stories cause if people want it then you can keep living your dream sounds reasonable till your living it and you have to give up your privacy your right to secrets to emotions to having a private life...then you wonder is the dream worth the price? It was times like this I wish I was still back in the corn fields with the horses but to do that I had to leave behind all my friends and my dreams...Fame it's a blessing and it's a curse...I leaned my head against the window as I watched the sky thinning as we went higher sometimes I felt too old way beyond my 17 years . The clouds seem to dance to their own rhythm they didn't care that a storm was coming and was trying to rip apart their world they just danced cause that's what they wanted to do wouldn't it be nice to live like a cloud? No shouting no tears no flashes of bright lights no pressures to be too thin to be too rich just peace...and blue skies...Yea I was kind of envying these damn clouds which made me think maybe I needed a vacation or a new life.

**Noah**

This was why I didn't want her to see these dang papers ever since she saw them she's been in tears non stop or screaming at mom to make these head lines go away. Now she was worrying about how many paparazzi would be waiting what the fan reactions would be what Disney was going to do and how her friends would act towards her..she was still not talking to me unless she snipped at me fine I wasn't exactly thrilled at her for calling me a brat when all I was trying to do was protect her let her suffer severs her right for calling me names and accusing me..problem was when she suffered the whole family did with her.. it's not like being 10 stopped them from shoving mics in your face..asking you how it felt to see your sister cry ...it's not like it stopped me from seeing the latest headline

The Next Generation Of

Disney Sluts

Miley Leads The Way

Heck it's not like it stopped you from being accused of following in her footsteps cause you know being 10 meant you didn't have your own brain to think or your own heart to feel. I had to be her mini clone right? Worse though is they tried to make me feel guilty for being proud of her why wouldn't I be she's my sister sure we fight but I still love her..they can never take that from me it's not like being 10 makes me forget the years of hard work and sacrifice she ..we all did to get here...But head lines did make you go crazy ...Well let her go a little crazy maybe she'd learn to be a little more nicer to me next time.

**Miley**

Jet Lag had set in by the time I got home I knew the media was out for blood my blood so I asked to taken to Mandy's which surprisingly mom agreed to ...I was hoping Mandy would understand and thankfully I had nothing to worry about cause she was waiting with open arms and plenty to keep me occupied.. her room mates Melinda and Nichole were already setting up broad games...there was snacks and drinks over flowing and a few friends like Dani were chilling including some of my dancers Ashlee , Jen it was a great night one I needed desperately she brought out her bunny Elvis who's just too cute how could I worry with such amazing friends?

When everyone had cleared and we were laying in bed I cuddled close to her and felt her arms wrap around me tight I knew I was safe and loved and that's all that mattered to me then it also made me see that's all that should ever matter. Life's too short to worry over headlines.


	19. Chapter 19 Things I'll Never Say

**Homeward Bound**

**Things I'll Never Say**

**A/N- So yea my lawyers and I have had this conversation before and still sadly I don't own Disney . But I do own the characters of Brittany, Stephanie and that little song at the end . Special thanks to Ocean7 for the great reviews... Warning a few lines of homophobic slurs very little but if you are easily offended skip over the part marked ~~ **

**Miley p o v**

Waking up at 6 am was not what I wanted to do one would think that after the show ends you slow down...NOT True I have at least 7 movies lined up that I'm slated to film I'm promoting Last Song to death I'm working on a new album...I'm doing interviews for everything, I'm still promoting my last CD. Yea life has not slowed down oh and there's the nice feud that Selena dragged me into Thanks Lena I appreciate that... NOT!

My head hurt just thinking about it three weeks later and it still hasn't gone away...It just keeps getting worse..a shower helped ease some of the tension but not enough ..Why did she do this to me? I thought we were friends? She knew I hated the endless accusations the whispers and the rumors it was why I hated Hollywood why I wanted to run and hide but I couldn't could I? No cause I would have to give up everything..and that wasn't a choice...going downstairs I could hear the flurry of activity Noah and Emily Grace were getting ready for school..their first day in fifth grade.. I should be excited for them and helping them but no I had to be up early to go to a meeting with Disney Executives about how to crush these latest lies...Thanks Lena...Thanks Nick to for that matter...My head was hurting already..

[Noah]- _Where's my shoes!_

_[Brasion]- Under your big butt loser_

_[Noah]- Shut up! _

_[Brasion]- Make me cream puff_

_[Noah]- Bite me rat face_

_[Mom]- Enough sit down and eat your breakfast !_

_Miley _

_Darling you need to eat fast _

_I told you to be up at 5 you need to be on the road like now_

_[Me]- Give me juice I'll grab something later_

_[Mom]- Not a option you need food _

_Your hypoglycemic_

_You can't let your sugar drop_

_Why are you massaging your neck?_

_What's wrong baby?_

_[Me]- Nothing just stressed I'll eat later mom_

_I need to go_

_Good luck at school girls have fun_

_[Noah very Nasty] It's school since when is school fun?_

_[Me]- Fine don't have fun whatever then_

_[Brasion]- Grouch_

_[Me]- Dog Face_

_Mate lets go!_

I grabbed some juice trying to get out of there but mom grabbed my hands...

[Mom]- _Miley sit down and eat right now the interviews can wait_

_[Me]- I can't mom I need to go I don't want any more rumors_

_Spreading they already think I'm a whore and a liar_

_Now their think I don't care about my career anymore_

_[Mom]- Let them think what they want_

_I want you to care more about your health then what the dang_

_Media thinks_

_[Me]- It's not your career on the line mom_

_It's mine and I've worked too damn hard to let_

_This Stupid shit bring me down!_

_[Dad] -Miley Ray Calm Down right now_

_You Don't ever yell at your mom like that!_

_Sit Down and eat _

_This is your sister and your cousin's first day _

_In fifth grade _

_[Me]- Who cares Dad I have a million things I need to do!_

_[Noah]- Let her go already she only cares about herself_

Noah stomped out Emily looked torn stay here and eat or go after her she looked to us I turned away fuming dad sighed Brasion looked shocked Brandi finally went after her as we heard Noah turn up The Jonas Brother's CD...I groaned...

[Me]- _T__**urn it off Noah Right Now I don't want to hear**_

_**Those stupid immature brats! **_

_[Noah]- Your a liar just as them so Shut up Miley!_

_[Mom]- Enough all of you!_

_Miley apologize to your sister_

_She doesn't need this Drama _

_[Me]- Neither do I mom but no one asked me!_

The damn finally broke as I started crying uncontrollably Mom reached for me but I shoved her away grabbing my keys as I tore out of the kitchen and the great hall I could hear everyone yelling for me but I didn't care.

[Mom]- _**Grounded Miley Ray!**_

I was Tearing out of the driveway so fast the gate almost didn't have a chance to open after I punched in the code from my car. I could see my dad in the rear view mirror yelling for me but I didn't stop.

**Tish's p o v**

I've never been someone to use profanity in my life but after putting up with six kids one being a angry teenager you bet I was saying them all and a million more in my head as I watched her stomp away my whole body was calling for me to go after her stop her she shouldn't be driving she was way to upset. My head was screaming do something my legs however collapsed against the counter I was exhausted and I just couldn't deal with it anymore. Noah was seething and she had every right to be she needed me more right now she was always shoved in back behind her sister and it was starting to take over this whole family. Trace was right by my side putting his arms over me I was so thankful to have such a sweet son.

Brasion looked torn what should he do? Thank God Brandi was there and went after Noah she was the angel in this family she did it some how and calmed Noah down. Got her ready to go to school Billy was taking the girls today. My heart was breaking I knew miles was hurting and it wasn't her fault she didn't ask for any of this it was just handed to her and she had to deal she had to put on a public face she couldn't crack in front of the outside world. Brandi got Noah to eat by the time they entered both were laughing. I smiled going over to hug them thankful to have such a sweet daughter who would get up early on a rare day off and come over at 6 just to see that her little sister had a good start for school.

[Me]- _Baby I am sorry you know miles didn't mean it_

_[Noah]- It doesn't matter mom she never means it_

_Yet we all get sucked into her drama_

_I just want one year of normalcy_

_I can't wait till she moves out then maybe my life will finally get _

_Quieter.._

_[Me]- Oh baby you'll miss your sissy when she's gone_

_[Noah]- No Mom I won't I'll be glad_

_I have Brandi that's all I need or want_

_[Brandi]- Noah Your upset now just remember all the nice _

_Things miles has done for you_

_Remember the time you entered a contest to meet Hannah Montana_

_Even though you live with her_

_[Noah]- I was 8 I was a kid_

_I idolized her but I grew up_

_I know she's not perfect in fact sometimes I think she's a down right b.._

_[Emily Grace]- Noie come on were going to be late!_

_Help me pick out my outfit!_

She has Emily to thank she wasn't joining her sister on punishment this week, her quick thinking saved Noah.

Billy came in just then looking tired he wasn't able to stop her I could tell by his worried face he knew her better then anyone she wasn't in any condition to drive...

[Billy]- _Tish I just don't know what to do anymore_

_She's getting deeper and deeper into this_

_[Me]- Well maybe if you hadn't cuddled her all these years_

_and let her get whatever she wanted whenever she wanted _

_[Billy]- Me? Are you blaming me for her being in this mess?_

_[Me]- I never wanted her in this business Billy you know that!_

_She was too young_

_[Billy]- You encouraged her_

_[Me]- To follow her dreams not to get sucked into this holly wood crap!_

_Your the one that let her go to these parties and these late night clubs_

_She has to get out there mingle with the industry people_

_I wanted her to stay at home with her family do her homework!_

_[Billy]- She had to get out there she had to be seen!_

_[Me]- Well look at what being seen has done for her!_

_She's cussing she's yelling talking back defining me! _

_[Billy]- It's one time she's upset she has_

_The world on her shoulders right now!_

_Give her a break _

_[Me]- A break that's all the kid is use to getting_

_Whenever she does something wrong _

_Oh she works so hard give her a break_

_Well the rest of the kids work hard to and they_

_Don't get a break from it..._

**Noah**

Mom and dad were fighting again I could hear them yelling no one else did but I did..it was bad...all they've been doing lately was fighting...it scared me...thanks Miley another mess you created that were left to deal with... turning back to Emily I put on a smile and pointed to the pink tutu like outfit. I preferred tight sliver jeans and a short pink and purple mini top with puffy sleeves since it was a bit chilly today the only day we ware allowed to wear non- uniforms the first day . Finally she had the outfit she wanted Brandi helped her with her makeup so I went to use the mirror in the bathroom..Brasion was on the steps his face a mixture of worry and anger he heard them I knew it he was softly using the banister as a drum pad with his sticks I felt for him it was worse he wasn't good at covering up his feelings about this stuff like I was he just wanted the same thing I did. Peace and a chance to shine on his own this was suppose to be his year his band Lazy Randell was on their way he was trying to get his band mate Lafayette to notice him he even chopped off his long mop of hair to a crew cut to impress her which took mom months to get him to do, but now once again miles had stolen the show...

When we were ready we trouped down stairs mom was just done cleaning up with Trace's help dad was sipping his coffee. They both smiled as we all came downstairs and of course the picture opp started Emily and I both posed as Brandi made faces making us laugh and shove her aside...she shoved back..but it was gentle..it made me laugh and forget...

[Mom]-_Remember to listen to your teacher Noah_

_And take notes on what you will need in case we go on tour_

_Be nice and say thank you.._

_[Me]- I know mom ah your squeezing me to death_

I laughed as she hugged me fixing my shirt..finally she kissed my head and declared me good to go.

Dad gathered us in the car as Brasion went with Trace...

[Me]- _Bye Rat face_

_[Brasion]- Bye Pink Tinkle Freak_

We all giggled well okay dad gave a belly laugh but it was the same effect..it lightened the mood..which I would need.

Dad cracked jokes trying to calm me down he made Emily laugh but I was nervous I knew things wouldn't going to change that much..

Once we were at school dad didn't make a big scene he just told us to think positive and have fun and remember they all loved us including miles..I didn't want to think about miles though.

Taking my hand Emily and I went inside the bell had just rung.. kids were pouring in from every direction..I always forgot how much I loved San Fernando Valley Professional School till I was standing outside of it.

[Emily] – _It's OK Noah will have fun today I'll see to it!_

_[Me]- Glad you think so_

Sighing I let her lead the way I already had a bad feeling about this year and it hadn't even begun still by the time we got inside and started seeing old friends. I had stated to relax we were lost in a sea of hugs and swapping summer stories that soon I was laughing with my friends as we headed to our home rooms.

My excitement bubbled over when we saw our teacher enter Miss Sandra Stones she had been my favorite for my entire time at San Valley ...So I wasted no time in running over to her and hugging her which seemed to brighten her day... but didn't earn me many points with a few students...

_[Miss. Stones]- Well I'm glad to see you to Noah_

_How was your summer? Did you learn anything protective for this year _

_That you care to share with the class? _

_[Brittany]- Yea how to be a slut 101 _

_Pole Dancing classes are extra charge_

_[Miss. Stones] -Brittany that's enough take your seat _

_Apologize to Noah _

_[Brittany]- Oh but I meant that as a compliment ma'am I mean_

_She's inspiring to be like her sister and she's the biggest _

_Slut since Britney.._

My face was burning as the other kids snickered Emily was by my side her hand on my back..

[Emily]- _Knock it off Brittany with two T's and no brain_

Kids snickered even louder making Brittany blush and glare daggers..Miss. Stones got everyone calmed down and sitting at the three round tables that were in our room each class is super small there's only 31 students that attend this school.. I had 10 in my class 5 kids sat at my table since it was the biggest 3 at another and Brittany and her Best friend Stephanie at another far apart thank god..why did she have to be in my class at all though ? Even Miss. Stones seemed to be asking the same thing silently of course..Frankie was next to Emily and offered me a smile..which I needed..sighing I took out my notebook maybe mom was right taking notes might be the only way to remember things today since my nerves were in full force...

The day passed by fast we were hit with work right away and of course my mind was scattered as much as I tried not to think about miles I was she was still my sister and once I calmed down I knew deep inside she was hurting bad she never snapped at me unless she was...and I knew she couldn't let just anyone have the blunt of it so we got it at home...Miss. Stones even said something like that last year when I was having issues with her she told me " _we often take things out on the ones we love the most _" maybe that's what I had to remember . Maybe I should just let Miley know I loved her and give her a hug...maybe that would help her looking back on that morning I was the first one to snap after she tried to say something nice..

[Miss. Stones]- _Noah.. Earth To Noah_

_[Brittany]- The Mother Ship is calling Noah go back home Ya'll_

_[Miss. Stones]-Brittany enough Go to the principles_

We were both shocked she never got sent to the principles office she was little miss perfect her dad a big time movie producer who gave the school millions every year ...a sigh of relief escaped my lips however it was so much easier without her in class.

Class went by much faster though before I knew it I was learning clearer and laughing an hour later I had to use the bathroom ..I should of known... I was barely in the door when I felt my shirt being pulled

and I was being shoved onto the floor face first ...I couldn't even scream as hands hit me and words were thrown at me..slut.. bitch ...trouble maker...Brittany pulled me up shoving my back against the wall her hands held me as she stared in my face ..

[Brittany]- _You did a very stupid thing Noah _

_I promise you that I will make you ay dearly_

_You may have Miss. Stones fooled but_

_I know who you are _

_You little lying whore_

_You will not blow this year for me understand?_

I was frozen in fear as she stared me in the eyes what was I suppose to say? Was I suppose to say anything?

A sudden punch to my stomach made that implication clear yes I was suppose to say something I gasped the pain took over me she took pleasure in it I saw it in her eyes..

[Brittany] – _Are you listening Retard look at me I said _

_D-i-d y-o-u-u-n-d-e-r -s-t-a-n-d?_

_Did I st-ttuer?_

_Answer me crater face _

I shoved back the tears as I felt my whole body shaking in fear still I tried to fight her off but she was so much stronger...I tasted the vomit inching its way up my throat...

_[Me]-No you Didn't stutter I understand_

_[Brittany]-Good cause I intend to be the queen of this school_

_And once daddy gets me in his new movie I'll be the next pre-teen queen_

_We all know that your sister's time is long over_

_~~Soon the little lesbo will be wrapped up in drugs and alcohol ~~_

_If she can tear nick from between her legs that is_

_Either way she's a wash up no talented whore who's fallen from grace_

_And you have no way to go expect follow_

_You might want to wash up Miss. Stone wouldn't want her favorite student_

_Looking like the trash that she is_

_Try the soap for the smell …_

_~~Not that you can ever really wash the Gay out Lezzie_

_Just like your sister ~~_

She spat on me and got up laughing shoving me hard against the wall.

She waved her hand in front of her face as she laughed getting up I fought back the tears until she was gone then it came pouring out along with the reason I had come here to began with making my face deepen with color... How could she know? No one was suppose to know that miles was bi not even most of our family knew did she know about Mandy? What was she going to do? Did being miley's sister make me gay to? The questions ran through my brain along with sharp pains..I didn't want to be gay it meant hiding who you are...I liked who I was... well at most times right now? I would kill to be anybody else.

I'm not sure how long I stayed there till Emily and Frankie came for me..Emily wanted to get help for me but I shock my head I didn't want any more trouble...I was lucky Frankie had extra clothes for me..As I tried to stand up I saw for the first time how scared my whole body was if ems hadn't been there to hold me. I would of fallen for sure my legs were shaking so bad they hurt to support my whole body I felt sick to my stomach...my head was hurting to the point of spinning...Emily kept talking to me telling me to tell someone..but she hadn't heard how mad Brittany was how threatening.. She had no idea how mad I was about this Brittany hadn't just trashed me she had gone after miles...I wasn't going to let her ruin my sister...

Miss. Stones didn't say anything when we returned but I knew she knew by the look Emily gave Brittany who sat there looking like little miss innocent.. the last hour went so slow to me she had assigned a back to school project using headlines from today's papers asking us to look deeper into the stories and use our view points to describe what was happening she had picked out papers and asked Steph to hand them out..I breathed a sigh of relief she had hand picked them and I knew she wouldn't use anything with miles...the look on Steph's face made me scared in seconds though as she plopped down a paper staring at me was today's newest headline...

**Wizards star hooks up with teen heart throb and cries**

**Hannah Montana Star Worst Influence Ever..**

**She Lied To me , Used me And stole My man**

**Nick...**

I was shaking all over again Frankie was beyond pissed and had to be held down by two of our class mates...Miss. Stones finally called for quite time...saying we would do more tomorrow as she sent Stephanie to the principle's office.. I was never so glad to see the half day end...I literally ran for my dad's car... not that I made it far Brittany and Stephanie were already ahead of me and cornered me as soon as I got around the hall …

[Brittany]- _Remember what we discussed earlier_

_Noah..._

I nodded scared of what would happen if I didn't kids saw what was happening but no one did anything to stop it..

[Stephanie]- G_ood Cause if you didn't you would be so sorry.._

She knocked the books right out of my hands and Brittany shoved me back against the wall popping her gum loudly.

_[Principle Angie]- What's going on here?_

_[Brittany]- Nothing Ma'am we were just helping poor Noie _

_With her books right Steph?_

_[Stephanie]- Yea right Ma'am she's so clumsy Right Y'all?_

Kids who were still there muttered but didn't defend me...I was grateful she stayed and watched while Brittany picked them up handing them to me she gave me the evil eye as I ran to the car. Getting another shock My aunt Edi was there Emily Grace's mom then I remembered. I was suppose to go to a audition for Wizards today and didn't even know my lines..I groaned. Where was mom? She was suppose to take me.

**Miley's p o v**

I was starting to go numb as I drove to grab lunch my head was spinning as I tried to out race the paparazzi who were trailing me like the race rats they were idiots all of them I cussed ..I was in no mood to deal with them...my fight that morning was weighing heavy on my mind I hated fighting with my family..I felt so bad I took it out on Noah ..I needed a stress reliever..these monsters were relentless banging against my car I swore if they damaged my new car they would be so dead.. music I needed it so I turned it up ..

**So many thing left I want to say**

**So many words flowing throu my brain**

**But the words fail at my tongue this anger**

**Takes over me **

**Did You ever know how much you mean to me?**

**Sometimes I wonder**

**Crazy loud is how I live**

**Passionate, determined**

**Words can describe me**

**But you always saw straight through this facade**

**To the heart of me and did I ever pay just due's**

**Mother Father Respect is what you have from me**

**But did I voice the words out loud often enough**

**Loud enough?**

**When my last days come fro me**

**Will I die wondering **

**These things I never said?**

**Will I know in my heart you know whats in mine?**

**Real Love True Love through the pain the rain...**

**Always by my side thank you**

**Fear can not come to say what I feel when I think**

**You neva knowin what's real and true deep inside**

**So I swear if I get another chance**

**I will shout it out **

**Thank You I love you **

**Mamma that gave me life father who showed me**

**Strength Cause I can't live a life full of regret**

**Of Things I'll never say...**


	20. Chapter 20 I'm the One Remaining

**Homeward Bound**

**I'm The One R****emaining**

**A/N Lyrics to I'm The One Remaining by One Life To live As Sung by Kristen Alderson ..**

**Tish p o v**

[Brandi]- _Momma Relax she'll be fine_

_[Me]- Oh baby a mother never relaxes when her kid is in pain_

_[Brandi]- Well you need to all this stress isn't good for you mom_

I had to smile at her she was so dang cute when she was being pushy how did I get blessed with such a sweet caring daughter? I stopped putting away the dishes to take a minute and glance at her it's been so long since I had paid attention to Brandi Glenn she was always here helping me sacrificing for her siblings it wasn't fair. I know she's had it the roughest with the move..Growing up Brandi was always quite and kept to herself it was always a challenge to get her to make friends she was most happy with the animals and her siblings..she never thought she was pretty enough even though she has always been gorgeous..course being her mom I may be a little prejudice here...it wasn't until she got to Jr. high that she started to open up more...Miley was in middle school and being bullied it was a year from hell and Brandi would sit with her and give her advice and tell her to be strong to love herself and not let anyone tell her who she is or bring her down and she took her own advice opened herself up..she made friends and even started to date she met Sam in the 8th grade and they became instant bff's . The end of the year we moved to LA. She was devastated but they vowed to made it work Brandi was madly in love with him and they had planned to move in together after High school. Then Miley's fame took over and I needed help here so she stayed she made friends out here she started working at the studio she formed a band but their relationship couldn't take the strain he was based in TN with his band her life was out here now. It showed how amazing she was even at that age to give up her life and move out here to support her little sister

I was so worried about her for a while this past year but with everything going on I never got to really talk to her so she dealt with the pain of breaking up with Sam by herself .Sure their friends but she was broken up inside..Even though she found a new guy Josh she was still hurting I knew it... I vowed as I watched her sitting there quietly eating cereal that I would take her out for a Mommy's daughter day and talk to her running my hands through her hair I kissed her head.

[Brandi]- _Why don't you call her again mom_

_[Me]- I tried already she's not answering_

_[Brandi]- Mom why are there police _

_Sirens outside the house?_

A mother's heart squeezes when you hear those words I saw the flashes through the window and my stomach dropped. We both jumped up and ran to the door the paparazzi were going crazy trying to get everything on video and snap pictures a officer was leading Miley over hands behind her back. She looked like she was on some kind of drugs her hair was scattered and her eyes were glazed over the color of her face made me shake she was paler then paste and shaking she couldn't meet my eyes..

[Me]-_Miles look at me!_

_Miley Baby..._

_My god what happened?_

_[officer]- Ma'ma we found her passed out on the side of the road_

_She crashed into a paparazzi's car_

_Apparently they were following her chasing her she almost side swiped_

_A elderly women but she hit the paparazzi instead_

_She was calling us when the crash occurred _

_[Me]- Oh my god! Why the hell isn't she at the hospital?_

_[Brandi]- Why is she in hand cuff's?_

She raced over to her sister who was barely moving just staring into space

[Officer]- _Standard procedure ma'am_

_She was taken to the hospital treated for her _

_Concussion and we did a toxicology report_

_Were letting her come home only because of who she is_

_She should be held in Juvenile Detention_

_Till we get the results But my daughters a huge fan_

_She would kill me.._

_[Brandi]- Mom Something's wrong!_

Before myself or the officer could look over fast enough Miley was passed out in Brandi's arms Brandi was trying to wake her up screaming her name...everything became a flurry ofactivity the officers were radioing everything in ..in the seconds it took me to get over there she was passed fully out no movements no sounds nothing they quickly got the cuffs off her. I grabbed her holding her in my arms I've seen her this pale before it dawned on me …

_[Me]- Brandi grab her glucose meter_

_She's hypoglycemic officer she didn't eat this morning_

Brandi ran in so fast even our dogs sat there in shock not knowing what was happening..I kept holding her stroking her face trying to get her to wake up my heart was breaking seeing my little girl like that her clothes were covered in dust and dirt she has cuts across her face and a small bruise was forming under her hairline on her right side my world felt like it had stopped she was scaring the hell out of her mother right now was this her idea of payback? Brandi came back within minutes and I wasted no time sticking her finger she gave a slight moan..

Two officers were talking by their car as three more had the yard surrendered blocking the paparazzi's view. I had never been so grateful for law enforcement as I was then. Always thinking Brandi had grabbed orange juice and put sugar in it. As soon as the readings came I gasped..

[Me]- _Oh my god Brandi she's almost in shock_

_it's in the 20's_

Brandi lifted her up and I manged to get some juice into her ...the police were already clearing the way so the paramedics could come in everything happened so fast they were taking her vitals giving her shots and talking in medical speak . Brandi gathered me in her arms and held me ...at some point they gave her insulin ….Seeing her open her eyes was the greatest present I could ever ask for running my hand over her face to feel her smooth clear skin made my heart race and squeeze. I loved her so much I couldn't image loosing her . Seeing those blue oceans rise up I felt like the world had opened back up...

Brandi kept giving her juice laced with sugar till she finally started to thrash and moan …

_[Me]- Miley baby wake up and talk to me_

_Sweetie Say something _

[Miley]- _Mom.._

Her voice was scared and reminded me of when she was a little girl..I held her close my tears overflowing I felt her arms reach up and wrap around mine...Brandi put her arms over my shoulders.

After a few minutes one of the officers suggested we move inside so they could clear the area and question her..she was shaky as we helped her up Brandi supporting her right side me on her left and the paramedics rounding us off. Her legs would barely hold her up but we manged to get her inside even though she stumbled her grip around my shoulders and neck tightened I heard her softly moan as we laid her down on the couch . Brandi ran and grabbed a thermometer and a wet wash cloth I took her temp which was lower then I liked Brandi grabbed a blanket covering her up . Miley wasted no time curling up on the couch closing her eyes as I ran and fixed her a snack, anything to get her levels up higher.

Watching my little girl fight was pure torture there was nothing else I could do expect pray and wait which was total agony. Once she finally seemed to come around I barely had any time to talk to her before the cops descended on her like rapid dogs ..I watched her face go from pure confusing as she squeezed our hands Brandi laying with her mile's head on Brandi's lap me sitting on the floor . Then her face changed to scared god only knows what was going through her mind as the cops kept having her repeat her story..To anger that they were making it sound like she was responsible that those pigs had been stalking her ..then the guilt fell across her like waves...When I finally had taken enough of watching her suffer _._I kicked them out..I could see how tired she was ..this attack had taken so much out of her..

She fell asleep before they were even cleared from the house Brandi stayed with her as I cleaned up I wanted so much to just take away her pain. To have her be that little girl that she had been when we moved here before all this drama started...

2 hours later

[Miley]- _Mommy?_

The voice of my little angel stopped me in my daydreams as I was at my desk going through all her offers it was amazing how many people wanted to work with her and how many rules they were willing to break to have a piece of the biggest star...it was so amazing that the little star was the tiny baby I brought home from the hospital 17 years earlier.

The one now standing before me having freshly showered and changed but still looking so tired I patted my lap she was hesitant probably still thinking about that fight this morning. I smiled tightly I was more tired then I thought but it seemed to relax her she came over...

[Miley]-_Mommy I'm sorry I know I created another_ _mess for you _

_To have to clean up I swear I wasn't speeding on purpose_

_I was just trying to get them off my tail and I was upset_

_[Me]- Why didn't you just pull over and call the cops?_

_Miley Do you know_

_How much more serious it could of ended up as_

_[Miles]- I know mom I was..I don't know I was just _

_Upset stressed..I wasn't thinking_

_I'm sorry I always end up screwing everything up_

She rested her head on my shoulder she just fit under the crock of my chin and her eyes looked so sad..how could I stay mad at her when I was just so relieved that she was OK? I couldn't so I just rocked her and took her in she was growing up so fast ..running my hands over her body. I could feel the changes her body wasn't a little girls anymore she was pure women her long tanned legs were smooth as slick her arms thick from hours in the gym her stomach flat her curves soft but firm. Her long hair gleamed in streaks of blond highlights mixing with her natural honey brown.

[Me]- _Don't say that about yourself sweetheart_

_You do NOT Always screw things up_

_[Brandi]- Yea that's only sometimes_

_The other 3 quarters you just muck them up_

_[miles]- Mommy she's picking on me!_

_Make her stop!_

_[Brandi mocking miles]- Make her stop Mommy!_

_[Miles]- Mom!_

_[Me]- Leave me out of this!_

I held up my hands as miles got up and raced after Brandi who squealed running her long legs pumping

I laughed finally some laughter back in this house. For too long now miles had been depressed or angry and that was making the whole house uneasy. Maybe I could get caught up on some stuff..

_[Noah]-I hate you I swear to god I hate you!_

_[Miles]- What did I do? _

_I haven't even seen you since this morning!_

_[Noah]- Your alive and your breathing!_

_[Brandi]- Noah Lindsey!_

_Take that back that was rude and uncalled for!_

_[Noah]- No She never has to take things back_

_And she always screws things up!_

Angry voices made me jump up as I ran out to the foyer to see what was happening Noah was shaking her eyes wild as she had oblivious shoved Miley off where ever she was sitting which was currently sprawled out on the floor as Brandi tried to help her up but her shakiness had returned.

Miles had a look of pure confusion on her face like what the heck did I do? Why am I being blamed?

Noah was standing there arms crossed one minute uncrossed the next and flying a moment later...she was screaming near tears...

_[Noah]- I can't wait till your 18 and _

_You can leave this house forever!_

Her words struck Miley like a bolt of lighting she slowly took a step back looking like she had just been hit. Brandi gasped I sighed why was there always fighting in this house?

Miley for her part just stared...

[Me]-_Noah that's enough!_

_Go to your room_

_[Noah]- No why should I_

_It's her fault I blew my audition today _

_It's her fault no one at school likes me! _

_If she kept her mouth shut and did what Disney wanted_

_She wouldn't be in the news all the time!_

_[Miles]- You think it's so easy being me Noah why don't you try it!_

Apparently she had taken enough silently she was now about to let Noah have it this could only end badly...

[Miles]- _Your ten years old Noah you have no idea what_

_It takes to live my life to have a career to have ever _

_Stinking person expecting something from you_

_[Noah]- I know plenty Miley_

_I have a career as well I go to school_

_I don't get special privileges_

_[Miles]- Special privileges!_

_I don't get tutored because I'm special_

_I have to I work full time plus I have a full Academics_

_You think it's so damn easy being me you have no flipping idea little girl_

_You don't have to deal with the lies the scandals the threats_

_The hate the bloggers the stalking the judgments_

_The pressures you have NO IDEA!_

It was Noah's turn to step back shocked realization set in on her face when she saw she had pushed her too far Miley's face was pure red now as she clenched and unclenched her fists her breathing fast and rapid scaring me as I tried to put my hand on her shoulders before she said something that would get her in deep trouble..but she was having none of it her eyes were in a rage Even Brandi looked at me as if to say oh oh ..

[Me]- _Miley calm down_

_[Noah]- Oh why bother mom whatever she says she'll get away_

_Cause she ALWAYS gets away with everything!_

_[Miles]- Shut The Fuck up!_

_[Me]- MILEY RAY..GET YOUR BUTT UPSTAIRS_

_You are so grounded!_

_No phone ,no sleepovers, No TV, No Games_

_No I chat and NO MANDY!_

_[Miles]- I'm grounded! Your grounding me!_

_She's the dang brat that came storming in here like a _

_Storm trooper and pushed me! Se started it!_

_[Me]- I'm ending it get upstairs now!_

_[Miles]- This is so unfair!_

_I hate my effing life!_

_Your ruining it Noah!_

_[Noah]- Good cause you ruined mine!_

_[Me]- Noah that's enough get upstairs now!_

_[Noah]- Fine whatever!_

Miley ran upstairs screaming in frustration as Noah stomped in the opposite direction..Brandi looked at me as if to say should I stay? I shock my head I wasn't going to keep her from her life anymore but I did need a hug..which she gladly gave me..

**Miley p o v**

Grounded story of my life no TV ,no computer ,no cell ,no life, I can live with that but there was no way in hell I was living without seeing Mandy.. before mom could come up to make good on that threat I texted Mandy telling her to just come over later at night when everyone was asleep and to use my private entrance. I would be waiting up so she didn't need her key then I erased my sent box..I was so mad what the hell had I done to her why was Noah so mad at me? Ah! I screamed throwing whatever I could grab and breaking it as it hit the wall..then I saw it was a picture frame Mandy had given to me last year all glittery and pretty with stars and moons all over ...it broke me when I saw what it was screaming I collapsed against the wall...the picture was from a few weeks ago at Hershey all of us grinning back when we were happy..why couldn't life stay that way!

Mom had come in at some point and gathered me in her arms rocking me as I bawled uncontrollably...then she dropped the bomb three months grounded .. and I lost it...we yelled and screamed ….till both of us were in tears...

[Me]- W_hy am I always the one that gets the blame in this family!_

_[Mom]- Cause your the one acting out cussing out a ten year old_

_[Me]- She started it you don't even try to hear my side mom!_

_You just take her side!_

_This is so unfair!_

_Noah's your angel and you don't even try to hear me!_

_[Mom]- That's not true miles I do hear you_

_That's why your grounded!_

_[Me]- I hate you mom I swear to god I hate you!_

_Get out of my room!_

_[Mom]- Watch your tune young lady!_

_[Me]- I'll watch it when you start to hear me out instead of prosecuting me!_

_I'm so sick of being the bad guy !_

_God!_

I ran into the bathroom slamming my door...I heard my mom sigh and for the life of me I couldn't get her face out of my mind the hurt in her eyes when I said I hated her which I didn't I loved her more then my own life and I couldn't understand why I had said that but I was just so angry and so confused.

I curled up in a ball on the floor the cold tiles felt great against my skin.

Hours later I was still shaking when I got up to pee the only reason I even tried to move my aching sore body...when I looked in the mirror I almost gasped I was a ghost ...I looked awful thank go no one could see me they would see the real me the ugly person I really was not the made up glamourized barbie doll everyone saw the press. Tears poured down my black streaked face my lipstick was smeared

my eyes blood shot my nose running ..sighing I started to fix my face before slipping out of my clothes and into the shower..the warm water only made me feel tighter though...

Staring blankly into the air I tried to make my fingers move over the piano keys music was one of the few things that calmed me. I tried to think of anything to play as I stared into the blinking stars I wondered what they did in daytime where did they go to play..what were their secrets good and bad ..we all had them..well unless you were me and everything was played out to a Audience that was awaiting your next performance anxious for you to screw up so they could talk about you freely.. Didn't mom know how much I needed someone? How could she be so cruel as to try to keep the one person who made me happy away from me? The thought of not seeing Mandy made me sick...she was always there for me. I thought back to all those moments from my past I remembered when I fell for nick how he made my heart race and my knees feel weak...how much I truly loved him at one point..then I thought of all the hurt the anger...my fingers started to play as I closed my eyes and just went with the flow..

_Even though there's still the sound of you humming inside of me you know,_

_I'm not too sure with you in my bloodstream changing _

_Every piece of me I'm wondering what do I cure? _

_And I fall silent a deadly sin a lie you cannot see for what _

_I and I'm the one remaining remembering the moment _

_I fell in love and I'm the one just saying knowing _

_The past can't be undone and I'm the one remaining _

_Everything changes now you're gone_

_No matter what I try to mask, I can't explain _

_The past and the love you've given me _

_Staring out at an open road I've been broken _

_I don't want to look back and face it honestly _

_Giving in is easy when it's said and done with little hope left _

_For what's to come and _

_I'm the one remaining remembering the moment _

_I fell in love and I'm the one just saying knowing _

_The past can't be undone and _

_I'm the one remaining everything changes now you're gone _

_I'm the one remaining remembering _

_The moment I fell in love and _

_I'm the one just saying knowing the past _

_Can't be undone and _

_I'm the one remaining see, _

_Everything changes now you're gone. _


	21. Chapter 21 It's Not Easy Being me

**It's Not Easy**

**A/N I Own Nothing Lyrics to It Isn't Being Me By One Life To Live Sung By Kristen Alderson..**

**Inspiration for some of this chapter came from reading You Get Burned Written By **

**pariswindspeed. Check that Story out it's under Hannah Montana and Sonny with A Chance cross over fics.**

**Demi p o v**

" [Selena]- _He won't even let me talk to him_

_Why won't Joe let me talk to him?_

_I just need to explain.._

_[Me]- I don't know Selena he won't even listen_

_To me ...he's being a total jerk right now_

_I've been trying to get a hold of him to_

_[Selena]- Why are guys such idiots?_

She flopped down dramatically on the couch sighing as she pulled up her knees her head silently fell on a pillow on my couch. I could see the sadness in her eyes and wished with my whole heart that I could help her...but I had my own problems why wasn't Joe answering me? Maybe I should call him again.

With a quick glance I saw it was only 12:30 , I still had 20 minutes before I had to be onset again, Lena was now flipping through a magazine. Legs stretched out she was quite comfortable no need to bug her I thought as I pulled my cell out of my pocket .. Joe was going to get a piece of my mind once and for all...

Why did I set myself up for this though in the first place how could I be so stupid? Didn't I learn from the first two times he broke my heart shouldn't I have seen from what he did to Taylor?

Sighing I dialed his all too familiar number ...it rang and rang heck why was I even suspecting an answer? He would take one look at the Id and laugh...or maybe he was missing me as much as I was missing him..No ..he was the ever popular Joe Jonas he was probably just lodging by a pool somewhere surrounded by babes ready to do whatever and wherever..which brought me back to my original question why was I even going to bother? ..Answer cause my heart hadn't stopped feeling what it feel for him no matter how much someone hurts you betrays you you just can't forget everything that you have been through.. 5 rings..6..7 screw you Joe .I finally thought as I hung up screaming...which got Selena's attention..she came over her footsteps heavy..as she sat by me wrapping her arms around me telling me to relax...and focus on work..I laid my head on her shoulder and watched her as she twirled my hair making me smile in spite of everything...our eyes connected and held..

After she had gone back to her set to film I sat there and tried to block out the memories of Joe and I but they poured out like waves..from the moment we both walked onto the camp rock set..he was fooling around with Kevin and Nick he had on a wet suit his hair was soaked and hung in limp straws he had two straws up his nose and was acting like a seal yea he was being a dork and when he saw me and two of the other girls laughing he turned every shade of red possible which made me laugh of course he had to try make up some excuse he was using it as acting training yea right Joe I didn't believe him he got mad and stormed off demanding I be fired he didn't win that..then there was the way I was so nervous the first time we had to do a kissing scene I had NEVER kissed a guy on screen before Camp Rock was my first major production and even though he was still embarrassed he helped me feel so much at ease taking my hand and assuring me he would be gentle and wouldn't laugh...he talked to me all through the night...we ended up laughing at shared child hood memories...by the time we got to do that scene. I felt like I had known him forever so it was so much easier...then there was the late night hike into the hills we got lost thanks to him and ended up camping out for real oh man I was so pissed. I did not want to spend a night in the woods..we fought like crazy we out ran a bear which I had to fend off cause he was up a tree clinging to it praying for Mama to rescue him! Then amazingly he made a tent out of tree branches a blanket we had packed for a picnic and he made a fire from what he learned in boy scouts camp. I was shocked he had paid attention but he did it and I caught some fish in a nearby stream with a few mishaps but I did it ..we cooked the fish...I was soaked so he made me take off my clothes but he was a gentlemen and turned away so he didn't see..well he says he was I think he peaked ..he lent me a flannel shirt and we lay together under the stars warming each other with body heat and the fire...it was amazing ,sweet ...we were so nervous but we didn't kiss or anything we just talked and cuddled...

We were finally rescued by his dad and the director who chewed us out for wondering off but It was worth it...

Our first kiss happened much later we were cleaning out his mom's attic he was grounded for pushing Frankie so I sneaked in and helped him while his mom was out we ended up in a fight over a vacuum cleaner and he chased me with it I screamed like a girl he teased me. I reminded him I was a girl he said he noticed I was blushing like crazy and started laughing and snorted he thought it was cute I punched his arm he fell back and tripped over the vacuum and it busted open dust everywhere we were covered he pulled me down. I sneezed and he went to brush my lips off and I fell on him pulling him close and I was about to sneeze again so he pushed his lips to me to stop me and we kissed for a full three minutes.

Then his mom came in and grounded him called mine and I was grounded I blamed him he blamed me we didn't see each other for three months cause of our busy agendas but when we did we picked up dating...then there were the ugly fights Nick dumpened Miles after he got his fame and cheated on her with Lena. Miley and Mandy dished Selena and I so Jonas dished her. I didn't know miles well then but I felt for her in away to be called out publicly when he was the one who broke up with her . I stuck by Lena cause she is my bestie for ever and always but I didn't like the way Nick treated Miley even when he went with Lena . He was very immature and she didn't deserve that he ridiculed her dished her in magazines he made her feel like a piece of trash, and Joe stuck by him he would join in often times he would lead the way all the while telling Miley he loved her like a little sister..lies..but what could I do? I was trying to make it and that meant doing anything right? No matter the cost..we broke up last year we were just to busy and after Nick dumped Lena , it was too hard to be with him while they dished her...then we made up and they made up with Lena and miles and it went well for three months till they got the show they craved and dropped all 3 of us worse Joe dumped me by text I was devastated which is when I started talking to miles... and saw what a sweet generous person she is...so why did I think this time would be different?

_Whip my hair back and forth.. _

My cell buzzed to life I stretched out startled as I grabbed my cell surprised to see it was Kevin calling me.

[Me]- _Hello?_

_[Kevin]- Demi _

_[Me]- Uh Yea you called me you should know who you calling_

_[Kevin]- Ever lovely to talk to you as well_

_[Me]- What did you want I'm not in the mood to play games_

_[Kevin]- Joe asked me to to call you _

_His phone isn't working right _ ..

My heart picked up speed maybe he did want to talk after all ..my mouth felt dry as I tried to swallow

[Me]- _What is it Kevin?_

Silence filled the air as I felt dizzy …

_[Me]- Hello?_

_Kevin come on quit playing games man_

_What is this about?_

_[Joe]- It's not Kevin and I'm done playing Demi _

_That's why I'm calling_

My heart lifted maybe he was ready to grow up stop playing games stop letting others live his life like Nick..

[Joe]-_Were over Demi stop calling me stop begging me_

_To take you back.._

_Tell Selena to accept the fact that_

_Nick is done with her lying cheating butt_

_And deal with it_

My heart felt like it was being ripped out I fought back the tears..I could barely choke it out

[Joe]-_One more thing Demi _

_[Me]-What?_

_[Joe]- Stay the hell out of my life_

My heart shattered as I heard the boys laugh..then the line went dead...my tears over flowed...

I was beyond pissed I mean how heartless could someone be? My legs were twitching and felt heavy My hands were shaking I wanted to hurt them so bad but what could I do?

Then it dawned on me what would Taylor do? Oh yea write a song...

I picked up my computer and started to let lose..

~~I can almost see it Joe us together like old times you holding my hands telling me to hold my head up high..that we can get through anything as long as we had faith in ourselves in our dreams and in each other..was it just another lie? Or did you believe everything you said? If so where did it change how did it change WHY did You change? Did Fame get to you? What happened to the good little Catholic boy who believed in doing no harm who believed in respecting each other and following god's way? I just wanted to say that you are a lying little weasel a coward who can't act like a real man..you let others do your dirty work ...Face to face is too real for you...huh? You always have to say everything on the phone what happened to all your words when were face to face?

Why can't you just man up and stop getting involved in all the petty drama around us maybe then we could work it out but NO you always chose drama over what's real you want to say it's my fault cause I have the guts to stay by my friends but I wanted to make it work. I didn't care about the damn drama. I was willing to risk it all for you cause I can admit that I love you..but you can't can you every time someone asked you all you could do was shyly laugh and make some smart ass remark you can never say the words could you? Well I'm done now I guess the third time wasn't the charm was it? Our Love Story wasn't a fairy tail more like a nightmare. It isn't easy to say this Joesph Adams Jonas cause I love you.. But I refuse to be with a selfish little arrogant worm who can't use any muscle expect his lower one..Grow up Joe..

To Nick How could Someone Be So Damn cute and so stupid? God must of skipped over you in the decency department..God how many times did they cry over you? Were you really that damn blinded by your own reflection? Miley and Selena gave you everything! They loved you with their whole hearts they wanted to spend their lives with you and what did you do? Lie, betray ,cheat and steal..yes you stole their trust their innocence and their youth .I have never saw them cry so hard or so long over a boy..you have a talent for heartbreaking I guess you get that from your older brother yea Joe's a expert at that as well congrats on inheriting that trait..

There's so much I want to say to you but I can't cause you know this would look so bad and Disney would fire me and your not worth it...Letting down my fans so not worth it ...See unlike you two I care about my fans not just the fame and money..

I would love to tell you to drop dead pretty much like you told me to but I have more class then that..so instead I'll pray for you..

Yea I'll pray you get hit by a buss fall off the stage hit your head...get your heat broken the way you broke their hearts..I pray someone sells you out to the media ..I pray that fans turn on you and betray you blog about you ..I pray that you feel the embarrassment that they feel everyday when you see someone pointing at you that you think of every flaw you have and wonder which one did they see?

I pray that all your dreams crumble and that every fan see's what a fake you are..Most of all I pray to god that some day you wake up and see what a ass you are...and I pray it's not to late to change to make amends..oh yea and if that day happens I pray all your friends turn their backs on you just like you did..~~

By the time I was done it had become a letter a long angry letter that made me feel great I smiled as I pressed save document …

[Maddie]- _Sis it's time their asking for you mom told me to stay _

_Here and wait till she can pick me up_

_[Me]- Okay thanks.._

_[Maddie]- Can I use your computer for school_

_Work?_

_[Me]-Yea sure just don't delete anything kay?_

_[Maddie]- Kay good luck sis_

_[Me]- Thanks_

I sighed getting up

_[Maddie]-You okay? _

_[Me]- Yea Joe Broke up with me_

_[Maddie]- He what!_

_[Me]- I have to go sweetie I'll tell you later_

_[Maddie]- He's a dog face_

_[Me]- Oh Maddie darlin you can always make me laugh_

_Thanks!_

I grinned as I went out and shock my head..the set was a blur of everything as I went to mic up...Tiffany squealed as she came up going on about her up coming wedding. I listened half hearty but the pain from Joe was still fresh even after I got it all out I tried to force it out as my makeup was touched up my hair I managed to do it to as I got into character ...before I even knew it I was onset ready to preform my latest song..

Taking a deep breath I blocked out all the drama and just let the music flow through me..

_It Isn't Easy Being Me_

_Tell me how you know when you think you know that you've reached the point _

_You're finally trying too hard it's that point _

_When you're going to sacrifice who you really are and you get lost caught up in talk _

_Why do I feel it's always me the one who's different? _

_Why am I outside of the tribe there's got to be more _

_It isn't easy to sit back watch from the sidelines _

_It isn't easy to hide all my feelings inside _

_Wondering if I've done the right thing or wrecked up my life _

_It isn't easy to be me sometimes _

_So I'll run fast turn left then I'll run some more _

_I've got to save my heart from what's hurt before and _

_I won't stop till I am sure that I'm out of your reach _

_No possibilities that you'll be hurting me _

_No more _

_It isn't easy to smile when I'm just feeling down _

_Or to say what I feel around everyone else _

_Want to throw out the rules but I'd so compromise _

_It isn't easy to be me sometimes oh, _

_How I wish that all my wishing would stop …_


	22. Chapter 22 Tomorrow

**Homeward Bound**

**Tomorrow**

**Nick's p o v**

" [Kevin]- _How do you two live with yourselves?_

_Your sick!_

_[Joe]- OH I live very well thanks.._

Joe was licking peanut butter off his finger tips as Kevin was ranting and raving arms flying wild as he kept switching back from me to Joe, I was trying to make myself invisible.

[Kevin]- _Oh really so your that heartless that you _

_Can live with the fact that you hurt 3 sweet girls_

_Who did nothing wrong expect have bad taste in boyfriends_

_[Joe]- Don't put this all on us man_

_Selena cheated_

_[Kevin]- How do you know that?_

_Did she conform it?_

_Huh cause I never heard those words from her mouth _

_In fact all I ever heard was I'm sorry Nick _

_I Love you Nick_

_Let me explain Nick _

_It's not what it seems Nick_

_I never heard I cheated Nick_

_Well Say something Nick!_

_[Me]- Huh?_

_Why am I needed in this _

_You two were doing just fine on your own_

_[Kevin]- She's your ex_

_Your the one who was trying to kiss your ex_

_That's why she had a melt down!_

_That's why she's being torn to shreds in the media_

_Well what do you have to say?_

_Huh?_

_[Joe]- Nothing cause were innocent_

_We did what we had to for the family_

_For the business_

_[Kevin]- Who cares about the damn business Joe?_

_When it starts tearing people we love apart_

_When it starts to change who we are_

_Maybe it's time to quit_

Panic rose inside of me he couldn't be for real! Making music is who we are doing movies and shows it's in our blood. Not being Jonas anymore? Was it even possible?

It felt like I was being suffocated Frankie was standing there in the kitchen having just come home from school to see us arguing his eyes were wide as bowling bowls this was his life and career to after all. He didn't say a word and no one else saw him expect me and I was still trying to remain unnoticed ..as I pondered this notion if we broke up would it necessary be all bad for me? I mean I was one of the hottest teen guys currently out there and my solo project was going well..my fans would support me and I could change companies maybe get rid of Disney..maybe Lena would forgive me..

[Joe]- _And you would live happily ever after_

_In a white house with a picket fence get a clue_

_Nicholas Disney would sue your ass_

_Win cause we would be in breech of contract_

_And by the time we were done fighting the charges all your fans would of_

_Forgotten you cause another teen dream would take over_

_And we would be broke_

_This isn't a Disney Movie and your not prince charming_

_We need to fight for what is ours_

_And that means fighting dirty so be it_

_In the long run .._

_[Me]- What we get everything?_

_[Joe]- Exactly_

_[Kevin]- Doesn't matter who gets hurt?_

_[Joe]- As long as it's not us ..no..._

_[Kevin]- Your a real ass sometimes you know that_

_[Joe]- It's all about the money Kevin_

_[Kevin]- You sound like dad now_

_[Joe]- Who said that's a bad thing_

_[Me]- You use to think it was remember when you swore_

_You would never let fame change you.._

_[Joe]- Don't preach to me nick_

_Your the one having Sex with miley_

_[Me]- I was not!_

I was beyond pissed now who the hell was he to butt into my personal life when he was banging every chick that battered their eye lashes at him...

[Kevin]- _Grow up Joesph that's rude and disrespectful_

_[Joe]- Oh please we both know it's true you think _

_I didn't hear Miley calling out when_

_She would "sleep over"_

_Not that they slept cause they were too busy banging hips_

_But I have to hand it to you bro you got that_

_Little hottie to spread her legs and give it up_

_Better then Selena god knows what she has _

_Who knows who she …_

Before he could say the rest I was on him tackling him Danielle screamed as Kevin tried to grab us Frankie ran yelling for mom as I was busy pinning Joe's head. He was strong and kept pulling me by my curls we crashed into tables knocked over a lamp which shattered hit walls which shock pictures fell...our dogs started barking as we tackled each other to the ground..I was breathing hard sweating my face was on fire but I didn't care he needed to get smacked down..

Dad came in with mom who was yelling and mad as hell as he pulled us apart demanding to know what was going on.. by the time he pulled us apart I was red faced blood coming down my lips he was almost white faced bloody nose. I sniffed trying to stop my nose from running, he held his eye which was swelling.. I was still trying to get to him yelling as dad pulled me back … Kevin was holding Joe back who was yelling about what a wussy I was and how I was the one destroying this family..

[Dad]- _Enough now!_

_Both of you shut up _

_And get to your rooms now!_

_Your Grounded Nick!_

_Joe my office now!_

Glaring at him one last time before I stormed up the steps. I was beyond pissed who did he think he was saying those lies? What the hell was he talking about me and miles having sex he thought he was so smart but he had no clue miley was never going to have sex till she was married..those times he thought he heard us was when we were wrestling and playing twister and she would yell at me cause she swore I cheated...I would never be stupid enough to have sex with my girl here not with my family around ..that's why I loved Selena's house it was just her and no one else. Selena ...thinking about her made me go crazy damn I missed her so much. Slamming my door I went over to my dresser and pulled off her picture we had been on tour last summer she had come to see us and we had sneaked off to a private beach she was sitting on rocks looking at the ocean the wind had blown a slight breeze flinging her newly short hair all over pissing her off but I captured the perfect picture of her the light reflecting her eyes as she smiled just slightly damn she was gorgeous when she smiled..she had no idea I took it till I showed her a few weeks later of course she swore she looked awful and hit me yelling at me to destroy it but I wouldn't to me she looks amazing..I missed that smile and her laugh..sighing I laid on my bed relieving her words in the club that night ..did I really push her too far? How could I be so stupid? Putting on some music I laid down punching the pillow screaming...of course mom took this moment to come in...the look on her face made me melt. I hated to know she was in any pain and she was cause of me..was I really destroying this family?

She went over and turned down my Hollywood Not Dead CD and made a face as she came over to take care of my face..

[Mom]-_ Nicholas I wish I could get inside your head_

_What were you thinking attacking your older brother?_

_[Me]- He had it coming mom _

_[Mom]- Why?_

_[Me]- He's breathing and opening his mouth_

_[Mom]- So that gives you just cause to pound him?_

_[Me]- Yes if he says something stupid or rude yes_

_[Mom]- You have to curb this anger Nick_

_It's just going to get you into trouble_

_I know what Selena did was messed up but you can't_

_Let what happen to you effect your head_

_We have a business here a family to think_

_About Joe is your brother_

_He deserves your respect _

_[Me]- No mom he got what he deserves_

_He uses girls like property when they don't listen _

_He sends them away talks shit on them and demises_

_Them he's a pig_

_I never want to be like him I can't stand being related to him_

_[Mom]- Don't say such a thing Nick you love him_

_I know it's hard being the youngest and having so much pressure on you_

_But you can't let girls distract you_

_Selena was a nice young lady we all loved her_

_[Me]- Loved you act like she's dead mom_

_We had a fight it's not over I just have to talk to her_

_And find out what happened why she snapped_

_I have to fix this I love her mom_

_[Mom]- Maybe you should let it go for now_

_Your both so young_

_[Me]- Are you serious mom!_

_No Way I have to talk to her!_

_Don't tell me you took their side!_

_Is Kevin the only one with his own Brain in this_

_Family any more!_

_[Mom]- Nick that's enough!_

_Don't talk to me like that young man!_

_[Me]- Don't treat me like I'm 6_

_I know what I feel and I know what has to be done!_

_{Mom]- Nick what are you talking about?_

_[Me]- Nothing Mom nothing at all_

_[Mom]- You may not see it Nick now but someday you will_

_Your too young to be this serious about a girl_

_You have your whole life ahead of you to be that_

_Committed all you need to focus on now_

_Is your career _

_Don't wreck your relationship with your family_

_Their all you will have_

_[Me]- Yea well if this is family I'll skip it thanks_

I stormed into the bathroom passing a wide eyed Frankie who couldn't stop staring I felt for him someday he would be facing this same thing but I swore I was never going to be like Joe and tell him what to do how to feel or insult his choices in girls.

Screaming inside I punched the wall which was stupid cause all it did was hurt me.Sighing I paced would it be pushing it to go over to Selena's house? Would she even accept me now? What about Demi maybe she would be a better choice? She was always really calm and reasonable the calm wind under Lena's hot fire storm...but if Lena found out I talked to Dems first she would flip all over again not what I needed...who could get through to her?

[Dad]- _Nicholas get down here now!_

Sighing I silently counted down the days till I could move out and not have to deal with this stupid stuff every day..What did he want now? I was already grounded …

[Dad]- _I mean now Son!_

Dang this must be big maybe we had been nominated for something? He always got super excited about that it meant planning a performance for a award show which meant more exposure.. I hurried my steps but as soon as I got into the kitchen .I froze he was not happy his face read extreme damage control fast which never made him happy. Mom was sitting down with tears in her eyes...Frankie looked confused and kept looking between our parents Kevin who had his arms wrapped around Dani but kept shaking her head..Joe was sitting stiff his eyes wouldn't look up which made me nervous he was never still! My eyes locked with Kevin as if to say what's wrong?

Then Dad slammed down the computer in front of me and I froze Preze Hitler's site had a picture of Me Demi Joe and Selena all split and the headline read ...Demi Trashes Jonas To Shreds!

I moaned now what?

My eyes couldn't believe what I had read how could she say these things? Lies they were all lies weren't they? I hadn't treated Lena and Miles like that I loved them both..they wouldn't be crying over me..how could Demi do this?

[Joe]- _Fire her dad she's signed to our label sue her_

_For Trashing our good name _

_[Kevin]- Your for real Joe You would let Dad_

_Fire the girl you claim to love?_

_Your such a ass Come on Dani were out_

_[Dad]- Sit down Kevin!_

His eyes went wide but he sat cautiously Dani sighed Frankie was burying his face in mom's chest..

[Dad]- _We can't do anything till we prove this was hers_

_And not just a lie_

_Plus we need to be careful if we fire her we lose money_

_Demi has loads of fans who will drop us_

_Besides we need to turn this around get people on our sides_

_[Kevin]- You don't even care if it's true?_

_[Dad]- I Care Kevin But I know it's lies_

_I raised you three right_

_You wouldn't do anything to harm your careers_

_Right Now we need to focus on that_

_Tell the Truth Joe_

_You never loved her it was all for publicity_

_Camp Rock 2 was coming out your duet was_

_Hot Demi made it into more she pushed you _

_Into being more but it was arranged between _

_You two all along she just went nuts_

_And dragged your poor brother into it _

_Nick you were a casualty_

I swallowed I wanted to tell him to shove it but how could I? He was my main support system? Until I turned 18. I was stuck..what could it hurt anyway? Joe was the one who pissed her off anyway so it wasn't a total lie right? At least she wasn't being fired or anything... Frankie looked sad and confused I swore I saw a flash of anger on his little face..he was so much like Mom and Kevin he didn't like the drama...

Collapsing on my bed I saw across the yard Mi's window was open she was on her bed with her dancer Jen looking through something they were very intent on whatever it was. Both smiling wide damn she was beautiful .I couldn't stop staring , I saw Jen laughing leaning close and brushing back Mi's hair as their faces touched ..I watched miles every move the way she held her shoulders so high the way her whole body went into laughing and then..Jen saw me got up mouthing words I can' repeat at me miles looked up shocked and made a disgusted face as Jen slammed the double doors. I leaned back sighing great now I pissed her off more and Jen you never want to piss off her dancers their crazy protective of her...

Turing away I logged onto my computer to check my twit now site and as soon as I logged on I started to smile my fans always make me grin...I clicked on a link that said " Nick Jonas From Broadway babe to Hollywood babe...and was surprised when I saw it was a video of me singing Tomorrow when I was like 9..

The sun'll come out tomorrow  
Bet your bottom dollar  
That tomorrow there'll be sun

Just thinkin' about tomorrow  
Clears away the cobwebs  
And the sorrow 'til there's none

When I'm stuck with a day  
That's gray and lonely  
I just stick out my chin  
And grin and say, oh

The sun'll come out tomorrow  
So you gotta hang on 'til tomorrow  
Come what may

Tomorrow, tomorrow  
I love you tomorrow  
You're always a day away

The sun'll come out tomorrow  
So you gotta hang on 'til tomorrow  
Come what may

Tomorrow, tomorrow  
I love you tomorrow  
You're always a day away

Tomorrow, tomorrow  
I love you tomorrow  
You're always a day away

I wondered why life had to get so complicated I looked at myself as that little 9 y. old boy dreaming of being famous not having any idea what the price of fame would cost me.. living in denial could only work so long. I knew what was about to happen wouldn't be good but I had no idea how bad it would be I felt for Demi but I needed to think about myself to .. I needed Selena more then anything..or anyone I loved her..I had to do something..but I couldn't get out now so I would have to wait til tomorrow cause there was always tomorrow right?


	23. Chapter 23 Young Forever

**A/N I own nothing Bg5 is not my creation they are 5 gorgeous talented ladies from La who sing dance and are about to blow up the charts check them out on I-tunes...support these amazing hard working ladies...I don't know them personally so any stories that may be similar to what is here is purely by accident . I don't know their past lives or how they really interact with each other..This is just what I wrote so yea I own that! Ha call my lawyer I own something finally! **

**Big Thanks to those who reviewed keep it up . ****BlueStarProductions liked the review simple but sweet . **

**Homeward Bound **

**Young Forever**

**Mandy's p o v**

" _[Faith]_**- **_Mandy__Lets try it with you and Shannon_

_One More Time_

_Shannon remember to hold her tight you want it_

_To appear tight not messy_

_Mandy remember to arch your back_

_Graceful is what we want_

_On three.._

Our Music started and we waited for our cue's. I was sweating so bad already we had been in rehearsal for six hours trying to hammer out this dance. My legs were killing me but I loved the feeling of stretching my body to it's limits it meant I was alive. Shannon my partner held me strong as he dipped me and made me fly the feel of my body being propelled at top speeds at high attitude was excelling.

As I watched my band mates rehearse I felt eminence gratitude for getting to do what I do. Clapping from the side lines as they twirled and span slide and shock their hips I smiled I could feel it in the air BG5 was about to blow up the charts how could we not? We were we are so HOT and so talented we had the passion and the drive we had amazing team members behind us who wanted us to do well and we had loyal fans who would do anything for us! Closing my eyes I swayed to the music taking a deep breath. I couldn't believe I had almost blown this chance to be apart of something so great to pass up the dream I have dreamed since I was 3! All because I was afraid of failing if it hadn't been for miles encouraging me spending time preparing me and talking me into believing in myself. I'm not sure I would of gone for it. I was so convinced I would fail. She never believed for once I would she told me I would fly through the whole process .I was meant to be a star nothing could stop me. Finally I was starting to believe her.

During a break we grabbed coffee and latte's at star bucks we were so excited for everything about to come we couldn't stop talking about it.

[Dominique]- G_irlz soon we are gonna own the world!_

_First Stop La Check they Love us_

_[Me]- Well of course whats not to love?_

_[Brooke]- We are cute adorable and sexy _

_With mega talent!_

_[Laura]-Yea I feel it ladies 2010 will be the year _

_BG5 Exposes ourselves.._

We all looked at each other she had no idea what she had said we all knew what she meant but she was just sipping her coffee and we couldn't contain ourselves we started laughing..she started to notice what we were doing ..and looked at herself nervous...

{Laura]- _What do I have something hanging from _

_My Teeth?_

_Does my breath smell damn onions _

_I knew I shouldn't of had the extra Onion and garlic_

_[Dominique]- No but now that you mentioned that girlfriend_

_Here's a mint_

Laura's face went completely red as she hit Dominique who glared at her

_[Dominique]- Aw is that it Aussie you want to fight?_

_Cause you better check yourself I will bring you back down_

_Under so fast you'll be whipping your hair _

_Till next year_

_[Laura]- Bring it on San Diego _

_Us Aussies can fight you ever take on a angry Kangaroo_

_[Brooke and Noreen]- What?_

Yea that brought us to a halt as we looked at her she shrugged as we all started laughing she looked more confused as Doe dissolved into a fit of laughter her whole body shaking Laura just kept looking at us as if we stepped off the train for crazy town a few stops too early. My stomach hurt from laughing so hard.

[Laura]- O_kay will someone please tell me _

_What is going on?_

We looked at each other as if to say who was going to say?

_[Dominique[- Sure will tell ya_

_Right Nor_

_[Noreen]- Huh?_

_How did I get pulled into this?_

_I was happy sipping my heaven_

_Aka Filthy Dirty Chi Latte _

_[Brooke]- Yea but we all know you really want to tell_

_Laura What is going on.._

She winked at Noreen who looked at her backing up like uh no girl you crazy...as they were playing battle of the stares and poor Laura was just getting more self conscious ,I heard my phone beep so I looked down to see who was texting me and of course it was miles which made me smile till I read her message..

Miley: _**I'm grounded again!**_

_**I need to see you thou 2nite**_

_**pls come over as soon as it's dark **_

_**Use my private entrance **_

_**Don't shine ur headlights**_

_**Mom is pissed and Noah is out 2 get me**_

_**Don't text back she'll prob b up 2 take this soon**_

_**I h8 my life right now**_

_**3 u Manderz **_

_**Can't wait 2 c u L8er**_

_**Lov Scmilez **_

_sent 3:20 pm_

Sighing I shock my head what had she said or done now? She was always forever getting into trouble. I was so going to have to talk to her later she couldn't keep doing this it was going to lead to trouble down the road for her.

[Laura]-_Why didn't you tell me Mandy your suppose to be _

_My Bff aren't you omg how could you let _

_Me embarrass myself that way!_

_[Me]**-**Ow stop hitting me sorry_

_I was ..I ..how could I know what you_

_Were going to say!_

_[Laura]- Ah you're suppose to read my mind _

_You do it for miles all the time duh!_

_[Me]- Oh right sorry but uh yea my mind reading_

_Powers are on vacation check back again _

_When I regain feeling in my body_

_[Noreen]- I know right_

_My legs are so sore I could use a hot bath_

_And a soothing massage _

_Think I'll hit the Gym later today_

_[Brooke]- The Gym? _

_Damn Girl I'm doing the bath soaking my feet and _

_Resting Ace can pamper me cause I've been busting my cute butt_

_He can earn his keep_

_[Dominique]- You go girl keep your man in check_

_[Me]- Hell yea _

We laughed high fiving my girls could always make me laugh and forget. I would deal with miles later for now I had to take care of me.

We ended at around 6 Brooke went home. Laura went to grab some waves and Noreen did in fact go to the Gym so Doe and I just looked at each other and laughed..

[Dominique]- _So yea I guess were the two losers with no Life?_

_[Me]- I like having no life no pressures no bs _

_[Doe in baby voice]- Is that what you tell yourself at night so you don't cry_

_Yourself to sleep?_

_[Me]- Shut up _

She nudged me as we laughed then looked at each like uh now what where do we go? As a awkward silence filled the air and we stood there on the sidewalk like two clueless tourists her cell blared out ...she held it up..

[Dominique]- _Aw Shit girl we losers no more_

_The shiest is back on!_

_How would you like to dance in Jay-Ce's new video?_

_[Me]- Huh For real Bitch Don't be playin me_

_You Fro real _

_[Doe]- Fro real Gurl call me bitch one more time_

_I'll show you what this Bitch will do for you_

I backed up and did a cute smile she eyed me but lowered her fist..

_[Me]- We Cool Now?_

She looked at me I made a zipper motion over my mouth.

_[Doe]- Yea we cool Bitch_

_[Me]-HEY No Fair!_

_[Doe]- Life's not fair but we still_

_Gotta play the game_

_[Me]-____Talk about shiesty !_

_[Dominique]- That's Right You in or not?_

_[Me]- Oh yea fro sur_

_[Dominique]- Then stop sulking and whining and lets go _

_Shake our _

_Too cute butts_

The video shoot took place outside Santa Monica it took us like 25 minutes to get there with her driving I laid back and let the wind rip through my hair it was a gorgeous day in La and the sun beat down on me making me sleepy but I stayed awake taking it all in.

Yea to say packed was a under statement screaming fan girls were lined up for miles hoping to get a shoot at meeting the man himself. Of course plenty of male fans were there as well but it was the females that made the most noise Doe covered her ears...

_[Me]- Girl this is nothing compared to a Jo-Bro's concert_

_Or miles_

_[Doe]- There's a reason I ain't neva been to them then huh?_

I laughed as we were escorted in by security making plenty of people angry. Perks of knowing people I smiled yea I was loving life..

We didn't waste time we went straight to hair and makeup which took like 2 hours and then we stretched . Dominique met up with her friend Nicole Smithson who was one of the choreographer on the video we were taught the basic of the routine and mastered it in 20 minutes for the rest we would just wing it, I was a bit nervous I didn't like being thrown in unprepared and not being able to text miles and have her calm me down was pure agony but I took a deep breath and tried to talk myself down the way she taught me..

[Dominique]- _Relax sweetie You'll be fine_

_It's just like any other video we ever done_

_Just lean back and take it in_

_Don't stress girl _

_Life is for living n having Fun Not Stressing_

I wish I could take it as easy as her but I was always stressing over what could happen .I could trip fall flat on my face or on another dancer cause that would go over real well. I could mess up the wrong moves and slow up production wet myself from sheer fright. Freeze pass out not be able to speak...say the wrong thing and have Beyonce think I was hitting on her man. Yea not what I was going for ..someone made a announcement we would re start in 10. I went over and took a sip of water and another..then stopped yea not really into wetting myself and I already had to pee.. was miles rubbing off on me with her nervous? I needed relief from my stress I knew instantly what to do. I picked up my i-pod and jammed to miles unreleased work she has the most amazing voice and can soothe me in seconds .I smiled looking at the picture that was on my screen it was of the two of us last year on the beach holding each other as we smiled for the camera the sun made her eyes glow a bright ocean blue and her dimples smiled their own smile..the feeling of missing her was so intense. I wanted to run to her and wrap my arms around her and never let go..closing my eyes I felt my body relaxed as the song switched to one from Hannah Montana her smooth voice made me look back on yesterdays...

The day the photo was taken on the beach we had just got done doing a 7 month tour and needed a vac so her mom surprised us by taking us to the beach in the Caribbeans we had spent the day exploring and I tried to teach her how to surf yea that didn't go so well she ate ocean more then she stayed up but I didn't mind touching her holding her close to keep her up right...and seeing her in that wet tiny bikini didn't harm my eyes at all of course she got pissed cause she sucked at surfing which was so cute as her little southern accent came out ...I threw water at her and she squealed chasing me not easy in 7 feet of water with waves pounding down her sister Noah got involved so did Brasion ...later we were exhausted so we laid down and cuddled careful to hide any touching from her family... we watched the sun set we talked about where we would be in a year from now in ten we wanted kids 4 two girls two boys maybe more but we wanted our careers to ..I can still recall her scent she smelled like peaches and her shampoo was coconut …

There was the time when we were on tour and she got dropped by our dancers she was shaken up not hurt but amendment she was not going back on to do that move. I remember how she ranted and raved to her mom who was patient and kept telling her to remember when she was a cheerleader and she had to do really hard scary moves that meant getting dropped and how she had to keep practicing .. Miley didn't want to hear it for a while but her mom , Jen, Ashlee, and I talked to her for over 3 hours till she calmed down went out there scolded the boys and threatened to have Disney sue them if they dropped her again...she did it not happy but she did it night after night.

I smiled as I recalled the time Emily tripped her onset in front of the audience totally on accident but she ended up in a tub of sauce and was covered head to toe she was horrified and took all her will power not to cry and run off set but she did it got through the scene even flicked Ems a few times and made jokes as the audience roared she pulled it off to make it look natural. Then they had a sauce fight ..I was helping her mom get sauce out of her hair and ears for hours it took weeks to get that smell off of her yea I didn't crave Italian for along time...

I felt myself relax as I remembered wow I can't believe Hannah was ending this year...seems like just yesterday I met 13 year old miles...I remembered that day as well I was 18 just barely had just moved to LA wasn't even undone packing and I had to audience for a dancing job I was new to La and scared out of my mind. I didn't know anyone expect Garret who wasn't about to hold my hand to this so I was on my own..she came in with braces and she just looked adorable but I felt dirty thinking thoughts cause she was 13 and I was 18..but she held a power a essence even that young of greatness a lot of the girls were talking saying she was a snob or a brat..she was going to be the next Disney Train wreck.. I just thought she was so sweet and so cute ...she told us not to be nervous or believe rumors that she was

a normal teen who liked to have fun..she asked us our names and remembered details about us she got to know us personally..she relaxed us even at 13 she just knew how to relate and reach out. Yea I ached that audition but I couldn't shake her from my mind...she grew up in front of me literally.. my breathing eased till I was almost asleep as the lyrics washed over me...

**I'll Always Remember You Lyrics**

_**I always knew this day would come  
We'd be standing one by one  
With our future in our hands  
So many dreams so many plans**_

Always knew after all these years  
_**There'd be laughter there'd be tears  
But never thought that I'd walk away  
**__**with so much join but so much pain  
And it's so hard to say goodbye**_

But yesterdays gone we gotta keep moving on  
I'm so thankful for the moments so glad I got to know ya  
The times that we had I'll keep like a photograph  
And hold you in my heart forever  
I'll always remember you

Nanananana

Another chapter in the book cant go back but you can look  
And there we are on every page  
Memories I'll always save  
Up ahead on the open doors  
Who knows what were heading towards?  
I wish you love I wish you luck  
For you the world just opens up  
But it's so hard to say goodbye

Yesterdays gone we gotta keep moving on  
I'm so thankful for the moments so glad I got to know ya  
The times that we had I'll keep like a photograph  
And hold you in my heart forever  
I'll always remember you

Everyday that we had all the good all the bad  
I'll keep them here inside  
All the times we shared every place everywhere  
You touched my life  
Yeah one day we'll look back we'll smile and we'll laugh  
But right now we just cry  
Cause it's so hard to say goodbye

Yesterdays gone we gotta keep moving on  
I'm so thankful for the moments so glad I got to know ya  
The times that we had I'll keep like a photograph  
And hold you in my heart forever  
I'll always remember you

Nanananana

I'll always remember you  
I'll always remember you 

_[Dominique]- Mandy you ready dear?_

I shock my head looking up to see her smiling at me which made me jump a bit and her laugh... putting away my i-pod I stretched and went to shut off my cell when I saw Brooke had texted me..

**Brooke: **_The jostling of young minds against _

_Each other has this wonderful attribute, _

_That one can never foresee the spark, nor predict the flash _

_You are more powerful Then you Give yourself_

_Credit For Stop Stressing Amanda Michelle _

_And take this for what it is God and the industry_

_Recognizing your talent I love you baby girl_

_Just chill.._

I smiled amazed she knew me so well she could know I was stressing...then again how many times had I freaked during one of our rehearsals? Not wanting to be late I sent a quick reply..

**Me:** _Tnx u Brookie Lov ya 2 Mamma Brookster_

_t2yl_

Then quickly I shut it off and hurried to my place working out the last minute kinks..I could do this I told myself and I believed it...

As soon as the beat came n I felt myself move with out thinking it just felt right like it was what I was born to do I didn't think about anything I just moved feeling the music wash over me...I knew I looked fly to cause I felt it and I believed it.. Hair Flying legs looking just the perfect tan with the perfect muscle tone ..my stomach was tight my abs tight yea I was picture perfect..

_**"Young Forever"  
(feat. Mr Hudson)**_

[Mr. Hudson]  
Let's dance in style,  
Let's dance for a while,  
Heaven can wait we're only watching the skies  
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst,  
Are you gonna drop the bomb or not?  
Let us die young or let us live forever,  
We don't have the power but we never say never,  
Sitting in a sandpit,  
Life is a short trip,  
The music's for the sad man,

[Chorus]  
Forever young,  
I wanna be forever young  
Do you really want to live forever?  
Forever and ever  
Forever young I wanna be  
Forever young  
Do you really want to live forever?  
Forever, forever

[Jay-Z]  
So we live a life like a video  
When the sun is always out and you never get old  
And the champagne's always cold  
And the music is always good  
And the pretty girls just happen to stop by in the hood  
And they hop their pretty ass up on the hood of dat pretty ass car  
Without a wrinkle in today  
Cuz there is no tomorrow  
Just some picture perfect day  
To last a whole lifetime  
And it never ends  
Cos all we have to do is hit rewind  
So lets just stay in the moment, smoke some weed,  
Drink some wine,  
Reminisce talk some shit forever young is in your mind  
Leave a mark that can't erase neither space nor time  
So when the director yells cut,  
I'll be fine,  
I'm forever young...

[Chorus]

[Jay-Z]  
Fear not when, fear not why,  
Fear not much while were alive,  
Life is for living not living up tight,  
See ya somewhere up in the sky,  
Fear not die, I'll be alive for a million years, bye bye,  
So not for legends, I'm forever young  
My name shall survive  
Through the darkest blocks, over kitchen stoves,  
Over Pyrex pots, my name shall be passed down to generations  
While debating up in barber shops, young slung, hung here,  
Shorty, the nigga from here  
With a little ambition just what we can become here,  
And as the father passed his story down to his sons ears,  
Younger kid, younger every year, yeah  
So if you love me baby this is how you let me know.  
Don't ever let me go, thats how you let me know, baby,

[Chorus]

[Jay-Z]  
Slamming Bentley doors,  
Hopping out of Porsche's,  
Popping up on Forbes lists,  
Gorgeous,  
Hold up,  
Niggas thought I lost it,  
They be talking bullshit  
I be talking more shit  
They nauseous,  
Hold up,  
I'll be here forever  
You know, I'm on my fall shit,  
And I ain't waiting for closure, I will never forfeit,  
Less than four bars,  
Guru bring the chorus in,  
Did you get the picture yet,  
I'm painting you a portrait of young...

[Chorus] 

Later as we recovered from hours of do overs and dancing our butts off. I let the lyrics wash over me as Jay sat talking to us telling us stories...about his friends who had passed away to young bout his life on the streets...I felt his words almost echo my own past ..I can still recall the days .I skipped school to go hang with my friends so we could drink and get high I can still feel the parties we would throw how we ran from the cops how the drugs would make me feel so powerful and free..I can still recall how they were an escape from my home life my parents who were always on the war path..the feelings of never being good enough compared to my older sister..who was beautiful and perfect in dad's eyes. So I dealt by getting wasted by drinking sniffing coke shooting up heroine whatever my hands could get a hold of..I remember watching myself fade away my dreams of dancing dying as the addiction took over..my decisions kept getting worse. I stopped doing homework I was failing school stealing from family and friends running away...hooking up with older guys having sex too young...being in relationships where I was treated as a slut who wasn't good enough for anything except sex and a punching bag . I remember thinking this is what love is this is how I deserved to be treated..I remember hanging on the streets selling to make enough money to support my drug habit ..not eating or sleeping hopping from boyfriend to boyfriend or friends cribs ..watching friends die from drugs , drive – byes ..I was 17 when I finally got help but those memories still haunt me . I can't count how many times I wake up screaming from one only to have miles hold me as I cry and shake..she always calmed me down..plenty of times. I would kiss her and we would make out like crazy but there were times when she made me talk and get it out . Not fond of them but she helped ..I can't imagine doing this without her.. someone offered me weed . Dominique was looking at me as I paused her eyes questioning me they knew little of my past not all of it..I thought about it what could one hit do right? I reached for it..miles voice rung in my head ..I shock my head and jumped off the wall...Dominique rose to follow.. I knew what I needed it wasn't Weed.


	24. Chapter 24 Never Grow Up Part One

**Homeward Bound**

**Never Grow Up Part One**

**Miley's p o v**

**A/N: I own no one cause yea it's kind of Illegal to own people here in the USA but I do own the songs at the end... **

[Mom]-_No I won't Ease up on her!_

_You letting her go is why she's acting like this!_

_[Dad]- Me I always tried to set boundaries for her! _

_[Mom]- Yea right give me a break Billy _

_You never took the lead and grounded these kids you left me to be _

_The one who was the bad guy!_

_[Dad]- There's no bad guys In this!_

_Were in this together_

_[Mom]- Together then why am I always the one who's here_

_I'm the one taking care of these kids and I'm the one_

_Who's here at night_

_[Dad]- I have my career to think about you knew this_

_When we married _

_[Mom]- Yea when you came home every night now you leave me_

_For months at a time!_

_With five kids to feed , clothe and take care of _

_[Dad]- It's not my fault we Had To move out here_

_I was fine in Nashville You wanted to move out here!_

For me that's what he left out sighing I closed my eyes the tears welled up inside as I sat in the steps hearing them screaming at each other. They didn't know I was listening but they had been at it for hours now.

[Noah]- _Their fighting cause of you_ _again_

_You always cause the drama in this family_

_God I'm sick of it_

_Maybe when your gone things will be back to_

_Normal around here I pray every night_

_God better hear me!_

Noah's eyes were like two steel beams as they sliced through me I couldn't take it so I got up and went to my room where the tears flowed freely. Why couldn't they just get along why did they always have to fight? I would give anything to have it the way it use to be even if it meant giving up my career...but they didn't care how much it ripped my heart apart they just kept yelling and hating...it's been this way for months now they got angrier and scarier each time. Putting on my I-pod I felt myself slipping off into a trance it was the only way to block out these horrible nights.

I felt myself jump as cold hands were brushed against my skin my heart picked up speed as I turned to see Mandy smiling down on me breathing a sigh of relief she pulled my I-pod off me and laid me down on my back kissing me deeply making me moan my troubles away. Wrapping my arms around her I sunk into her chest she smelled amazing even if she was sweaty ..

[Me]- _Where were you?_

_I've been waiting forever _

_[Mandy ]- You told me to wait till it was dark sweetie_

Her voice was soft yet her high pitch made it so adorable brushing her hair back I kissed her checks and took her in.

[Me]- _It's almost 3 am dark was hours ago god I've been so worried!_

_[Mandy]- I'm sorry sweetie Dominique got a text about_

_A dance gig for a video so we went.._

I laid there watching her explain her eyes danced in sparkles as I pulled her closer pushing her shirt above her head so I can have full access to her body. She didn't fight me as our lips connected and stayed together my body relaxed and came alive as her kisses worked through me her hands moving over my hair and face I wriggled my fingers to unhook her bra.

There was a lot of kissing and touching before we laid back exhausted ...her hands running along my face made me shiver she had the most gentlest touch which relaxed me as her kisses trailed my face my neck and throat sucking softly on my lower throat making me moan which came out funny making us laugh as she pulled me close . I was on top and I could feel her stomach pressed against mine her our legs entangled , breasts pressed so hard against each others that my nipples hardened as they brushed. I could feel her heat and her breath blending as one as I pressed my lower half deep into hers. She whispered I love you. I laughed kissing her back she brushed my hair back and kissed me again as I whispered I loved her.

As she lay there sleeping peacefully against my side I wrapped my arms around her ..I took her in and memorized everything about her she was so amazing. I felt myself choke up I didn't know why it was like I had to treasure every moment there was something telling me to not miss a moment. From her perfect figure to her huge heart which yea I couldn't physically see but I felt it beating and I felt it every time she touched me talked to me kissed me even talked to me . I felt it when we said nothing when she was just there listening to me. To her breasts which were so soft now pressed against me to her sweet smile as it curled slightly on her left as she dreamed whatever she was dreaming about I hoped it was peacefully about what our lives will be like ten, fifteen ,twenty years from now. I laid my head against hers and closed my eyes. I tried to get that peaceful feeling that she had but I couldn't I was restless my legs didn't want to sleep..I laid there for over two hours before I gave up and got up to roam. I peaked into Brasion's room he was on his drum set playing his favorite song it was annoying normally but tonight it made me smile he was so dedicated and determined to be just like Trace ..I sighed silently watching him taking him in I didn't know why I was so restless. I just was it was scary how intense the feeling of not wanting to leave him right now was..I was almost shaking I kept getting this feeling of dread like this would be the last time I ever saw him..shrouding I smiled to myself as I gripped the door handle of course I would see him..tomorrow he would sleep late by accident from being up so late mom would be yelling at him to hurry up he would be muttering as he grabbed toast not having time to comb his wild hair looking like a lion just coming from hibernation. Noah would be laughing cracking jokes. I watched him his hair was pulled back into a pony tail sloppy but out of the way his arms worked in steady rhythms his eyes a deep blue like mine were set on the beats and the notes he didn't see me watching wow I couldn't believe how much my LITTLE brother had grown up. He was so tall his legs didn't even fit under the set. Smiling I moved just as he wrapped up and looked up .I slide down the hall past the pictures hanging on the walls past Brandi's room since she was at her apartment ...Past Trace's who was at his I stopped at Noah she was asleep her little eyelids fluttered as she dreamed probably of being a Disney princess of riding into first at her next horse competition...I put my hand over hers they were still so small they barely took up any room in one I slide next to her she wrapped her fingers around mine tightly whatever we had said earlier didn't matter now..in the dark of the night away from the reflection of paparazzi lights from rumors and lies to scandals to sides it was just us two sisters who always knew when one needed the other. Just like it was years ago back in TN I missed those days. I took her in she was growing up so fast she had shot up 3 inches in the last 2 months she was about to turn 11 in a few months. I wrapped the blanket around her she sunk into them sighing our dog Tex was laying with her and her million stuffed animals her room was a replica of Noah's art down to the real animals three birds squawked in the corner I silenced them with a look. As I prayed that Noah would never be where I was now that she would never feel the pain of betrayal, humiliation, I remembered when we were kids and we would chase each other in the field back home . I would pick her up and twirl her she would laugh and squeal beg me not to stop as we would both fall from lack of oxygen and I would tickle her she just laughed and laughed everything was always funny to her...Now it was rare to hear her laugh but I prayed she wouldn't lose that..she gave a short whimper. I wrapped my fingers tighter whispering "_ I'm here Noie Always here"_ and she relaxed. I stayed there for who knows how long before I left I went over and saw her night light was out she hates sleeping in the dark fumbling around quietly. I found a new set of batteries replacing them light flooded the room softly. I looked at her she was relaxed now so I went to my parents room Mom was on the phone making business calls prob about me. Dad was in the next room we called it a sitting room he was just staring at the night sky it was so wrong they should be laughing and making out they were always so passionate about their love what the hell had happened?

Tears slipped out I wanted to run to my dad and throw my arms around him like when I was a kid he would make the trouble go away the feeling of tightness in my chest that was about to explode. I was afraid I knew what was coming any day now they would tell me they were divorcing and any day there would be a custody war the paps would eat it up. Dad turned to say something to her but she moved not even looking at him the pain got tighter till the tears silently over flowed ..I shock my head I didn't want this image in my head .I wanted to remember when I was a kid and Dad would take me on the paths behind our ranch and we would ride for hours discovering new trails he would put me on his back and we would race. I would laugh and yell faster and he would go so fast the wind would rip my hair back it felt like I was flying ..I wanted to remember how we would all wait by the door when he was away till we heard the door open the keys jingle his boots scraping the floor till all you heard was us screaming " _Daddy's home daddy's home me first! _And even though he would be beat from touring he would pick each one of us up and spin us hug us tackle us make us laugh hug us tell us he loved us and missed us. I wanted to be that kid in mom's car on the way to a cheer leading tournament dreaming big dreams while mom sung to me and we would map out how amazing I was going to be on the floor that night. I wanted to be that kid who fit in her lap just right so we could snuggle and read fairy tales. I wanted to be that little kid who still believed in happy ever after not the girl I was now the one who knew fairy tales didn't exist beyond the magic of Disney and that prince charming could lead to a world of hurt..I wanted to be that kid who never grew up who wasn't embarrassed cause her mom was flirting with rock stars while her dad was away making money unaware..I wanted to be that kid who thought dreams were amazing and not a road to heart break and shattered illusions ..but I wasn't I was almost 18 and I wished I had never grown up...I wished I could hurry it up now so I can get the hell out and move in with Mandy get out of this house away from the destruction my dreams had caused...but I hated myself too cause I knew deep down I was a coward I wanted to escape and that meant leaving Noah to deal.. She knew too she had to that's why she hated me that's why she stopped laughing cause she was beginning to see what I already knew and it was killing her the way it had killed me. I took the picture of my parents shattered lives of their broken marriage and shock my head trying to get rid of it as I stepped back and ran almost falling. I didn't stop till I was down stairs in the recording studio/ I picked up a guitar and a piece of paper and started to write...

**Justin's P O V**

_[Usher]- Take it From The Top JB One More Time_

One more time I repeated in my head yea sure it was never just one more time man I had already been working for hours. I was hot I was tired and sweaty and exhausted I sighed but nodded ..

[Usher]- _Good man JB Good man_

_See now that's how you become a star kids_

_You work hard you don't complain_

_And you say on top of your game.._

Course that's what it was all about right staying on top being the best having the most number one hits.

That's how I got to the top I kept taking singing lessons as a kid I sold cookies which mom and I made home made so I could pay for my lessons . I racked leaves shoved driveways ,babysat ,dog walked anything to make money to keep singing . I self taught myself how to dance I never gave up I started up loading videos of myself singing and it paid off . Now I had 7 hit songs a top selling record a world wide tour sold out...life was great in everyone else eyes ...taking a deep breath I closed my eyes and thought back to when I was a kid and my mom who was a teen herself would dress me up in whatever little outrageous outfit she could find and we would have singing comps in our apartment. We would try to out due each other with the dancing and the vocals it was pure fun but it was also a training ground she was a classical singer who had worked her whole life to be the best she wanted to go to collage and major in music but she got pregnant with me at 15 so she gave it all up to raise me by herself when she heard I had talent she poured her life into making me a star. It worked to and I owed so much of it to her ..I used those memories as fuel to sing my heart out...

_**I Take a Picture in my mind**_

_**It's frozen Forever in Time**_

_**I remember all the times **_

_**You picked me up when I wanted to give up**_

_**I Remembered all the words you **_

_**Whispered ..**_

_**You Said Baby Baby Oh Baby Baby**_

_**Don't You Know You'll Always Be My**_

_**Baby , Baby Oh I Got You Forever**_

_**On my Mind**_

_**Baby You Can Do anything**_

_**I Know you have it inside **_

_**Reach In , Pull it out..**_

_**Don't quit the first time**_

_**Practice Makes Each Better Each Time**_

_[Usher]- Hold It JB Your voice is fading in and out and whoa what_

_Was with that squeak.._

_[Me]-Sorry Man I'm just tired _

_Let me try it again_

_[Usher]- Yea ya need to do something cause that was whacked_

_You wanna quit man?_

_[Me]- No Ush Baby I'm good _

I sighed again and shock my head to get rid of the cramp...I saw the kids looking at each other whispering..I wondered was going through their minds as I rubbed my eyes ..I really was tired maybe I should call it quits...stretching I looked at those kids they needed someone to believe in to show them hard work pays off not slacking..another deep breath and I was ready..

Two hours later I was ready to quit and was so relieved when he said go..high fiving my producer Kyle

I grinned when he said ..

_[Kyle]- What cha ya doin next JB Man?_

_[Me]-Heading home dawg_

_[Kyle]- Hot date with Selena?_

_[Me]-Yea man ya know Lena can't get enough of me_

He laughed as I shock my head

[Kyle]- _You got lucky boy you better hurry don't make me angry_

_[Me]-Angry You wanna see angry? I was suppose to be out an hour ago_

_It's your fault for being so stupid you can't even fix a glitch_

_In the damn equipment!_

_[Kyle]- Who you talkin' to like that son?_

_You need to get some manners and learn to respect_

_Your elders_

_[Me]- Respect please you need to respect this!_

I brushed a hand over myself as if to say look at my superiorness he shock his head and pushed me as we laughed it was a joke between us ever since a fan in Mexico saw us arguing over the football game..he thought I was over confident and over stepping my ego...it made headline news and was my first scandal ...but it was so funny to us ...so now we joke when ever one of us is stresses and there's nothing more stressful then having fans watch you rehearse it's not polished yet so their hearing it raw what if they hate it or worse hate you after? There's nothing like finding out superman can't leap buildings ,Santa doesn't exist and angels don't sing you to sleep..to many of them I was their super hero their gift ,their angel...I Never wanted to let them down.. they always made me nervous. Security escorted me past them as I stopped to sign autographs and talk to them I only had a few minutes I was rushed off to a interview. It was the same questions over and over what's it like to be the new Disney kid who are the other stars treating me? I answered automatically bored in all honesty when will someone ask me something original? That's when it caught me off guard.

_[Reporter]- So JB is it true are you "dating" Selena?_

_[Me]- Well ya know were friends_

_It has benefits to it [Laughing]_

It didn't dawn on me what I had said till I was in the car on the way home then I slapped my forehead. Sinking down into the seat I cussed myself man Jordan would kill me now...

All I wanted was a shower and some time to relax but as soon as I walked into the house I heard..

_[Sam]- Justin's home!_

_Justie play ball with me!_

_Please! _

_[Jordan]- Justin has to rehearse leave him alone _

_[Sam]- But I have to practice and Justin's the best_

_Beside dad he promised me!_

_[Jordan] – He has more important things then a stupid basketball_

_Practice he has to be prepared.._

_[Sam]- It's not stupid! _

_It's important _

_I can make the team dad I know it!_

_[Jordan]- There's plenty of time for you _

_This is Justin's time! Now Stop _

_Whining!_

_[Sam]- Dad why is he always put first!_

_I need help _

_[Me]- Relax buddy will go practice_

_Give me the ball.._

He looked at his dad scared he was near tears which just fueled my anger his dad was giving him a stern look..Sam looked down scuffling his feet …

_[Sam]- Nah Forget it Dad's right_

_You should practice I mean your wining awards_

_I'm just a 3rd grader I'm not important _

_[Me]- Don't believe that of course you are _

_I'm going to shot some hoops with or without you_

_I had 6 hours of practice today if I'm not ready now_

_I won't be..some basketball ain't gonna break me_

_[Jordan] – Don't hurt yourself We can't afford _

_To lose the money..._

That's all I was huh? Money to him..I grabbed the ball and started dribbling in the house .Sam laughed as he tried to block me...

[Mom]- _No playing in the house_

_How many times do I have to tell_

_You boys!_

We laughed high fiving as we ran out to the courts..Sam was a quick learner and picked up on things after being shown only one time we played horse and 3 shooter and just pick up games it was amazing to run and block to shoot and just have fun. I Didn't think of Jordan standing by the window glaring at us counting the money he would lose if I broke a ankle...for a brief moment I considered it ...which scared me..I loved what I did..I hated anyone who made me question that...Jordan made me doubt it more and more with each passing day..

As we came inside to grab soda and snacks he snarled to me..

[Jordan]- N_ice Job Justin make the world think_

_You screwed one of Disney's Teen Queens_

_That's what it takes to get them to notice_

_Good Job Son I'm proud_

He pounded my back making me choke I felt sick ..The way he smirked and winked at me …

_[Jordan]- Just remember these every time_

He threw something at me..

_[Sam]- What's that Daddy?_

Sam grabbed the package . I stood there numb he didn't just ..did he. I was only 16...but there they were in Sam's little 9 year old hands ...Condoms... I felt sicker...mom's footsteps echoed towards us quickly I grabbed them Jordan laughed..

[Jordan] -_No Guts man Justin learn to be a real man_

_You have the balls make them bigger.._

_[Mom]-What's going on in here?_

_Justin what the hell are they!_

_Give them here now!_

_Are you serious?_

_In front of your little brother!_

_Get up stairs now _

_Your Grounded!_

_[Me]- But mom I wasn't I ..he gave them to me!_

_[Jordan]- Now Justin do not start lies_

_I told you to give them to me_

_I told you that you were too young to be_

_Making this decision!_

_[Me]- Liar!_

_[Mom]- Do not talk to your father that way!_

_[Me]- He's not my father!_

I screamed and took off Sam was hiding up stairs his eyes followed me as he was curled up in the closet..I went over and picked him up holding him till he calmed down then I made him get a shower and go to bed. In my room I slammed my door screaming and pounding the wall.

Later Laying on my bed I heard mom and him arguing god I wanted him gone..

_[Jordan]- That kid needs discipline!_

_He needs to be put in his place!_

_Your too easy on him_

_[Mom]- Justin's a good kid he needs a role model_

_Someone Who he can look up to and see what it takes to be a real man_

_His dad isn't around _

_[Jordan]- Good kids don't go around having sex_

_And getting into scandals_

_[Mom]- I'll talk to him_

_[Jordan] -Talking ain't working_

_He needs to be reminded he has a obligation_

_To you..you raised his spoiled butt_

_You gave up your dreams and busted your butt _

_Working two jobs_

_Without his career you'd be slaving away again.._

I turned away as I put on my I-pod...closing my eyes I remembered what it was like before he came into our lives.. we were living in New York City in a apartment above a barber mom was working 3 jobs to support us..my dad had long left before I was even born...I had friends at school I was pretty popular. I mean I wasn't top of the social ladder but I was happy..I loved music class and after school I hung out with friends at the basketball court or went to the arcade skated around the city grabbed pizza for supper and went home to do home work other days I worked towards my goal and went door to door selling cookies or made the cookies. I babysat I had quite a few families that paid me and trusted me to watch their kids .I had two friends and we had a steady business going with babysitting ,yard work, we helped kids study we helped them learn instruments and vocal skills... about 70 families we split the jobs and the money . ..I watched TV copied the moves and practiced took it to class and got help from older dancers and teachers ...I wasn't happy about going to bed alone but it was my life so I dealt..loads of my friends had moms like mine..or dad's city kids were tough..I hated knowing my mom was working so hard and I swore that one day . I would make enough so she wouldn't have to pull triple shifts..then when I was 8 mom met this guy Jordan at one of her jobs she started dating him. I didn't like him even then..but she swore I would be first...then Sam came along and Jordan went away...so it was me mom and Sam she took Sam to her first job where she was a child care specialist at a children s home from 8-3. I picked him up after school came home and took care of him he trailed me to classes and having him helped convince customers who thought he was so adorable so they gave to me ..While mom worked as a Pct at a hospital from 4 – 11 then went to her third job from 11:30- 4am she never told me what that job was but she always came home with money and wearing short dresses ..it wasn't easy but we did it.. then two years ago I was discovered and we moved out here to La..6 months later Jordan found us and convinced mom to take him back..Ever since it's been hell mom's practically on his lease whatever he says is the gospel truth he treats Sam like a beaten dog and screams and yells he hits mom he drinks and smokes..he took control of my career and my money and I'm powerless to do anything ..No one knows we act like the perfect family cause Disney is all about perfection.. I can't wait till I'm 18 and I can Grow up and Be out of here!

Grabbing a pen I started to write …

_**Some days Just seem so long**_

_**Some Days I feel like that little**_

_**Kid riding rails ,shooting ball**_

_**Dreaming of being the next big thing**_

_**I could hear it in my head**_

_**Some day I would be old enough**_

_**Strong enough, Smart enough**_

_**Some day I would be A **_

_**Grown up**_

_**There Are days When I look back at **_

_**That Child hood Of Innocence and think**_

_**Ignorance isn't bliss if you never know**_

_**What the real deal is maybe you can**_

_**Spare yourself the pain**_

_**Cause Growing up isn't so wonderful**_

_**The way I use to think it is**_

_**I know I am a prisoner of someone else s**_

_**Pent up rage and I can't speak now**_

_**I can't scream , I can't see beyond the now**_

_**My head is killing me my heart bleeds **_

_**Cause I know now**_

_**If I had a chance to change and go back I would**_

_**Take back my child hood days of care free**_

_**And I would never grow up**_

_**No pops around just me and my mom**_

_**But we did just fine**_

_**Now it's me mom, lil Sam and the man**_

_**Who calls himself the bank**_

_**But he ain't nothing to me**_

_**He don't know it yet but come 18**_

_**I'm out of here the well run-nth over**_

_**God be my witness I will fly away**_

_**On wings of talent I will be the next big thing**_

_**Cause I swear I just don't know how much more I can take**_

_**I'm only 16 I shouldn't have to feel this much pain**_

_**I keep thinking back and wondering didn't she see the signs**_

_**A single mom working three jobs just trying to earn 'nough to make rent**_

_**Feed two little kids sacrificing her own dreams to give me the chance to fly**_

_**Why oh why does life have to be so rough?**_

_**She was just looking for some love someone to call her baby**_

_**And say I love you baby you are my world**_

_**But what she got wasn't how love is suppose to be**_

_**She didn't see the signs so blinded by life**_

_**Now the days are filled with shattered dreams **_

_**Silent tears she tries to hide**_

_**This wasn't the dream she saw in her mind **_

_**As a little girl she dreamed of being **_

_**In C**__**arnegie**_ _**hall singing her own songs**_

_**Traveling the world writing her own songs of hope**_

_**But life had other plans and she struggled **_

_**Every day swearing one day she would make it **_

_**Through the walls of hell**_

_**To the light at the end of this tunnel**_

_**But where is the light when he screaming words of rage**_

_**When it seems like she will suffocate**_

_**She holds her hands up praying but it's useless**_

_**Cause he's in a state and words can't shake what **_

_**He plans and she dies a little more each day**_

_**Dreams seem so far away **_

_**What she doesn't see is the little boys watching**_

_**Above as he strips away her dignity**_

_**And shows them what love is not suppose to be**_

_**But in their mind wrong is right dark is the only**_

_**Light they see and society wonders why kids grow up **_

_**With this anger burning bright **_

_**How can they know anything else**_

_**When they grow up and see the fists of rage**_

_**Replace words of love**_

_**When love is sex and money**_

_**Sometimes I wish I had never grown up**_

_**Cause back then I was still a innocent **_

_**And my biggest problem was trying to grow up**_

_**Hurrying up the days so I could be on that stage blowing up**_

_**Now those days are gone and I know**_

_**What it feels like to love and lose**_

_**Lose innocence trust and respect**_

_**It's empty and cold**_

_**Life is for beautiful memories**_

_**But I can't find them any where buried in my mind**_

_**I wish I had never Grown up**_

_**Now my days are filled with trying to find a way to kill **_

_**This pain...**_

_**Yea I wished I had never grown up**_

_**Could of held onto those carefree days just a little**_

_**Bit longer...**_

I crumbled the paper I could never use it what I wrote it wasn't happy or kid friendly not what my record label would ever touch...sighing. I closed my eyes and tried to remember when I was last happy..oh yea the party dancing with Selena laughing with her talking to her kissing her touching her..I smiled as I felt myself start to get warm..she was perfect..I swore I would find a way to win her back Nick was not going to win. I was the next big thing on Disney he was getting older his days were numbered..I thought of her sweet laugh the way she was so sarcastic and yet every word made me want more insult or not just so she would keep talking. Her eyes the way they shined and sparkled as she flew her hands in wild jesters..her body well that was amazing...Yes she was going to be mine no matter what...

**A/N review please let me know what you think if u can do it in a positive way please and follow me on twitter mileycfan4eva ...**


	25. Chapter 25 Last Kiss

**Homeward Bound **

**Last Kiss**

**Selena's p o v**

I had no clue what my manger was going on and on about all I knew was that I was effing tired as hell. I had been up partying again. Demi had dragged me to a new club hoping it would take my mind off of things...yea well it had ..I even meet a cute guy to dance with the alcohol had burned my throat but it had also numbed me and loosened me up which I was grateful for at the time as we danced the night away. Before I knew it though it was 3am and I had to be up at 5 . I barely remember Demi pulling me into the house..undressing me shoving me into the shower drying me off brushing my hair and shoving coffee down my throat. Apparently she did it all though I could barely remember what my manger and the producer who I was supposedly meeting with were saying. I didn't even remember why I was there..At some point I signed some contract and shock the fellas hand . I blinked trying to get rid of this god awful headache.. my manger was saying something about me cleaning up my act before I ended up like Miley , Britney and Lindsay..he seemed pissed..I just needed to curve this awful headache.. my stomach kept feeling sick as well.. damn alcohol probably maybe if I feed it the dang thing would shut the heck up..

I left my manger and went to the nearest Star Bucks ordering my fav drink Carmel frappé and a danish what the hell live a little right? I'm sure the dancing killed any extra calories. This day was going to be strenuous enough ..I tried to ignore the flashes from the paparazzi and fans who all wanted to get a picture even if I looked like crap.. it was a little hard though when their blinding you...I could hear them whispering too..about what I was wearing what I had been doing last night . I head snippets about pictures being leaked. I rolled my eyes great..more scandals..I heard Nicks name thrown in my heart skipped a beat aw my Nicky . I missed him so much tears pooled up in my head...I grabbed my drink hearing someone say how much of a bitch I was for stealing Nick from Miley and how I deserved to go to hell. How I got what I had coming .. my headache was getting worse as I went to sip my drink and turn so the next person could order. I was brushed from the side by some idiot rushing out and I lost my balance my drink flew from my hand and landed on the person in back of the person in back of me who ducked...the person behind him looked up shocked as she was covered... I covered my mouth gasping as the paps clicked away as well as fans...

_[Me]- Oh My God I am so sorr..._

The word died on my lips as I saw who it was...Miley.. of all people...I groaned as everyone else started talking hooting and whispering. I'm sure everyone was posting their tweets and status updates and snapping pictures.. I could already see the headlines ...the tightness in my neck got tighter as I felt the nausea come up fast too fast to stop myself.

My head was spinning and I felt my feet coming undone from their rooted spot as I forced myself to look up and see her very pissed off and shocked face. I couldn't even speak and all I could do was gasp as I tried to cover my mouth which just seemed to project substance as I felt it rising again...

[Miley]- _Bitch!_

She spat out and turned her heals clicking as she speed off to the bathroom. I looked around what was I suppose to do? Where would I go? It would be suicide to go in there after her she was well beyond pissed and everyone was getting it on video..my hands were shaking from nerves ...people were making disgusted faces as they whispered about me...

[Random person]- _She was soo drunk last night_

_Oh my god can we say train wreck_

_[Random Person 2]- You Know she's prob Preggers_

_With Justin's Bastard Child_

_[Random person 3]- No Way Are You serious?_

_[Random Person 4] – Yea man it's all over she cheated on Nick_

_[Random Person]- Slut_

_[Random]- I Know right and they say shit about Miley_

_She never cheated at least_

_[Random]- She claims to be so pure and sweet_

_[Random]- She's just a fake_

_A Scene here and now_

_Fade to black tomorrow_

Finally I couldn't take it any more and ran into the bathroom... she was at the sink her assistant trying to

get the stains out as she was yelling at someone on the phone. I ran into the stall almost passing out how did my life end up in the toilet? Literally...After heaving for who knows how long I laid my head on it the cool seat was a relief for a minute till I was able to get up. A quick wash and I felt less gross but I still felt so dizzy and so confused how did I get to public enemy number one? My legs felt like a toddlers learning to walk shaky and uneasy...my hands were so stiff I couldn't grab the handle I had to take deep breaths. Trying to use tricks Demi had taught me to calm myself..it didn't really work I still felt unsettled and sick as I slowly went out maybe I should call someone...no I didn't want to make a scene I would be fine...

Yea might of worked if there hadn't been 50 paparazzi outside all clamoring to get to me I couldn't even see straight with all the flashes. I just had to blindly walk forward as they crushed me screaming rude questions at me...

[Papa 1]- _So what do you think of Justin's comments?_

_[Me]-No idea what your talking about excuse me! _

_Move out of my way!_

_Come on I have to get to the studio _

_[Pap]-So is it true did you two sleep together? _

_[Me]- No Way_

_[Pap]- You calling the Beepster a Liar?_

_[Pap]- Was this a planned attack on Miley_

_For kissing Nick?_

_How do you feel About them being so tight_

_When you all have to work together?_

_[Me]- No comment Move_

I shoved my way through slamming my car door my shaking was worse as I backed up I could barely see I was crying so hard.

**Miley p o v**

_[Me on my cell]-I Can't believe she is such a bitch!_

_[Mandy on her cell]-Calm Down Sweetie _

_I'm sure it was a accident_

_[Me]- CALM DOWN! She poured her fucking Frappe_

_All Over me I'm covered now I have to run all the way back to Tulca _

_to Change and race back To La to make my meeting in 20 minutes AH!_

_[Mandy]- Sorry Sorry I Know you are stressed_

_But I swear I will help you calm down tonight_

_Just breathe in breathe out_

_Be the bigger person_

_Don't stoop to her level_

_[Me]- Okay..[Sighing]-_

_I Know you are right _

_Sorry For yelling_

_Oh Sorry For Um Throwing you last night_

_[Mandy ]- Yea me to you should see my legs so frigging _

_Bruised I have to use a whole jar of cream _

_To Cover them up.._

_[Me]-Aw baby I didn't mean to hurt you_

_[Mandy]- I know ...it's okay I'll punish you later Bad girl_

_[Me in a low sexy voice]- Bad Girl Can't wait..Bring em chains_

She laughed...I loved her laugh it calmed me down and made me relax.

_[Mandy]- Just focus on making it to and from safe okay Hun_

_Will work on the rest later..._

_[Me]- Okay I love you Mandy_

_[Mandy]- I Gotta Go Brooke is calling_

_Hey _

_[Me]- Yea?_

_[Mandy]- I Love You To Be Careful_

[Me]- _You To dance that cute butt away_

I sighed putting my phone down in my purse looking away for two seconds..Looking up Just in time to see another car speeding towards me weaving in and out..i screamed as I tried to swerve ...

**Demi**

[Me]- _A Car Accident !_

_Selena Marie are you serious!_

_[Selena]- I Know I Know it was stupid and reckless_

_I wasn't paying attention I was upset!_

_[Me and Jennifer ]- You could have been hurt or worse!_

_[Selena]- Stop Yelling!_

She was shaking as she sank down into my couch tears falling down her eyes her face white from being sick again her eyes were out lined in deep dark circles she rubbed her neck which was hurting along with her shoulders and head...I sighed feeling stupid for yelling at her..of course she didn't mean to crash into the pole..or burst the water pipe on south main street...it wasn't her fault the old lady chose that moment to cross on a green light. Still she shouldn't of been driving when she was so worked up.. but she didn't need me yelling at her she was already upset enough. She needed a friend she had been chewed out by Disney Exe's for hours plus her mom had called yelling at her she was on wits end. I wrapped my arm over her shoulders she leaned her head down sighing...closing her eyes I could see how tired she was and I felt so bad for her.

[Selena]-_How did my life get here?_

_I swore from the very start I would never let Hollywood_

_Change me..._

_[Me]-You haven't sweetie_

_It's just everyone else being stupid trying to bring you down_

_Relax_

[Marisa The Assistant Ad]-

_Demi_ _The President Wants to see you_

_In His Office right away_

_[Me]- Huh? Me?_

Selena and I both looked up scared she shrugged...I took deep breath looking at her to make sure she would be okay. She gave me a sad smile but nodded so I gave a brighter one back but I was quite scared what the hell had I said or done that would get me called to the president of Disney? He never asked to see us kids unless there was a major scandal...Maybe he wanted my in put on all this well that would make sense I mean I was besties with Lena and I was tight with Miles..oh this could be bad...Would he make me chose would he threaten my show? Would he make me dump both? How Could I? Yet if my show was at stake that means everyone who worked with me from the cast to the crew to catering would be at stake it wasn't just me effected. Shot now my head was hurting, now I knew how Lena was feeling. The walk was the longest I had taken in a very long time and felt endless his secretary Marcy was on two phones typing on a computer and signing papers all at the same time. She waved me inside..Which made a few people glare at me, I shrugged helplessly hey it wasn't my fault they had to wait. Swallowing I entered to see my parents and my sister sitting there along with my agent and manger my stomach started to feel sick what was going on? Why did Maddie look so scared?

My head felt dizzy now my mom Dianne rose ..

[Mom]- _Demi sweetie come in?_

_[Me]- Mom what's wrong? _

_Why are you and daddy here?_

_Why isn't Maddie in school?_

_[Maddie]- That's what I asked when they dragged me out!_

She looked pissed now..I stared at them all as if to say would someone tell me?

[Mom]-C_ome inside and sit down sweetie_

_[Me]-Am I in trouble? _

_[Dad]- No Baby of course not but Alex needs to ask you a few questions_

_[Alex Disney President]- Sit Down Demi How are you?_

_[Me]- Um a bit scared right now.._

I tried to laugh but it came up rough and paper like...making me cough instead...he smiled and gave me water which almost chocked me. No one said anything at first Maddie was playing with a necklace Lena and I had won for her in Costa Rico .. mom and dad kept looking at each other my manger pulled out a sheet of paper contracts was this what it was about? I didn't remember it being time already but I was so busy that maybe I just forgot .I started to relax and sit back finally able to drink a little which cooled my throat.

[Manger]- _Demi I need you to look at this tell me if you recognize it? _

_[Me]- Okay._

Alex gave it to me so it wasn't contracts what was it?

My throat closed as I started to gag I couldn't believe what was in front of me...the words blurred as I tried to keep my hands steady...

"_**Yea I'll pray you get hit by a buss fall off the stage hit your head...get your heat broken the way you broke their hearts..I pray someone sells you out to the media ..I pray that fans turn on you and betray you blog about you ..I pray that you feel the embarrassment that they feel everyday when you see someone pointing at you that you think of every flaw you have and wonder which one did they see?**_ ''

[Alex]- _Demi Do you remember seeing this before?_

I swallowed the letter I had written for The Jonas Brothers..How the hell did he have it? I had saved it in my computer I never sent it. Alex was waiting for a answer I could lie and say no but they had to know I wrote it ...but how? My head hurt trying to remember that day I was rushed and so angry so I just let lose but I am always careful no one ever goes on my computer ..Expect …

[Me]- _Maddie?_

My voice came out squeaky which made me blush but I couldn't help it she looked down unable to meet my eyes...

[Mom]- _Tell her sweetheart.._

_[Maddie]- I don't want to mommy she'll be so mad_

_[Me]-No I won't Maddie I just I need to know.._

She looked at our parents who nodded...She took a deep breath...

_[Maddie]- I Sent the letter To Frankie_

_I was pissed at what Joe did to you _

_I'm sorry I never meant to hurt you or get you_

_In Trouble..._

_[Me]- But I am aren't I ?_

_[Alex]- Well I'm afraid so Demi_

_You can't do these things _

_When your in the public eye_

_Cause they have a way of coming out_

_[Dad]- Has anyone seen it yet?_

_[Alex]- Yea The Jonas Brothers and their lunching _

_A public attack against Demi..._

The meeting lasted a few more hours my parents were talking options with my manger Maddie was crying. I was just exhausted to the point of collapse when I got back to my dressing room Selena was already gone. I wanted so bad to talk to her so I made the hike to The Wizards sound stage 3 studios down...only to be told that she had left for the day upset after seeing the headlines on one of the tabloids about her and Justin.. I skimmed through it it went on about how Selena had been the perfect poster girl for Disney for years and how she had been the role model young girls needed unlike Miley who had been the rebel but now Selena was having a mental break down..sleeping around cheating drinking , using drugs ..it had pictures of her from last night grinding with some guy...beer bottle in one hand she looked drugged..I groaned that was on me I had dragged her out damn I should of known..she wasn't good at covering not like Miles and I had gotten.. I texted my co-star to tell them I would be back later and went off to find her.

**Selena**

I Needed to get out of there everyone was either being too nice to me or yelling at me Maria was so concerned about me she wouldn't let me alone she was making sure I wasn't hurt she wouldn't let me get up everything I wanted or needed she would get for me she kept asking me if I wanted to talk or needed to vent I appreciated her but I felt smothered but then I had Jennifer who I had called after the accident she had come and picked me up and she was pissed that I was driving she yelled at me the whole way back to the set. Now she was barely speaking to me unless it had to do with work. Which really got to me cause she was my best friend there and we were always joking around and having fun.

At some point Maria had come in and reminded us we had a interview I sighed I did not want to do this but Jennifer snapped at me and told me to stop sulking that I had a obligation to do this stuff it wasn't their fault I had been stupid enough to get drunk and drive with a hangover .Rolling my eyes I sighed and got up following them to the extra room which we use for interviews with more then one cast member. As usual it was a loud fun interview that brought me out of my shell...

[Leo the interviewer]- _So Selena with Wizards ending this year_

_What do you see yourselves doing in 10 years time?_

_[Me]- Good question you know life is so busy_

_It's hard to think ahead I kind of just live in the moment_

_but yea I definitely want to still be acting and recording_

_But I want kids and I would like to be a relatively young mom_

_Maybe producing I've been watching David to do it_

_And it looks awesome I would love to see the other side of the industry_

_Not sure thou.._

_[Leo]- That's honest it's awesome how answers vary we asked miles_

_the same question as well as Demi_

_Miles said she wants to go to collage and study photography_

_Demi said she wanted to write and produce _

_[Me]-Thanks I try to be honest in everything and _

_I want to experience as much as I can_

_While I can.._

_[Leo ]- What are your feelings on the ending?_

_[Me]- Kind of scared cause I grew up with wizards_

_But at the same time excited to go on and do other things_

_Wizards will always have a special place in my heart_

_But yea I can't see myself doing the same thing in 5 years_

_I will miss coming here everyday seeing my family_

_But will keep in contact so it's cool._

After the interview I excused and went for a drive calling my producer telling her I wanted to record a few tracks. the studio was dark when I got here just how I liked it .I waited for my producer to get here ..turning on the lights I threw my stuff on the couch and went to explore who else was here recording? It seemed quite for a week day..I followed a voice I couldn't pin point who it was but I knew it well...I followed the Lyrics till I came upon who was singing Where I smiled and stood watching …

_I still remember the look on your face  
Lit through the darkness at 1:58  
The words that you whispered  
For just us to know  
You told me you loved me  
So why did you go  
Away? _

She Didn't look up as she sung her producer who was the same one I was waiting for was busy looking at the board. Her words washed over me she knew what it was like to Love a Jonas Boy..and to lose..

_I do recall now  
The smell of the rain  
Fresh on the pavement  
I ran off the plane  
That July 9th  
The beat of your heart  
It jumps through your shirt  
I can still feel your arms _

Closing my eyes I could remember that scene so clearly it was two years ago Taylor and Demi and I had been in Rome promoting our shows and CD's ..the boys had been in Denmark touring. Our planes were due for a layover in Atlanta. We had a ten minute leave way to get our planes...we were heading to New York and they were heading to Russia...But a huge storm had swept through the ATL just before

making our flights delayed …. I Remember sitting in the plane with Tay freaking she was dating Joe then and we both wanted to see the boys so much it had been months since we were all together ...we knew their dad wasn't going to let them stay around just to wait for us. We had barely made it but when we did we threw our arms around them .I flew from the steps to where he was on the stripe waiting he picked me up spinning me as I laughed and he held me strong wrapping my legs around his waist he held me as we shared a long kiss. I could still taste him on me I wrapped his old flannel tighter around me...sighing as she kept singing...

_And now I'll go sit on the floor  
Wearing your clothes  
All that I know is  
I don't know how to be something you miss_

Never thought we'd have a last kiss  
Never imagined we'd end like this  
Your name, forever the name on my lips  


How could I make him miss me? Could I even do such a thing? I never thought about what he would miss about me..I never thought we would break up again...we were suppose to be forever as one.

_I do remember  
The swing in your step  
The life of the party, you're showing off again  
And I roll my eyes and then  
You pull me in  
I'm not much for dancing  
But for you I did_

Because I love your handshake  
Meetin' my father  
I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets  
How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something  
There's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions 

_And I'll go sit on the floor  
Wearing your clothes  
All that I know is  
I don't know how to be something you miss_

Never thought we'd have a last kiss  
Never imagined we'd end like this  
Your name, forever the name on my lips

So I watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep  
And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe  
And I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are  
Hope it's nice where you are  


Where was he now? I hadn't heard of a Jonas sighting in awhile maybe I should call my friend Kandy she was so over everything Jonas she had posters lining every wall she knew every fact about them things Demi and I didn't even know. She knew where they were every second and she loved to send me new pics and videos of their latest adventure even something simple as going to get gas.

_And I hope the sun shines  
And it's a beautiful day  
And something reminds you  
You wish you had stayed  
You can plan for a change in the weather and time  
But I never planned on you changing your mind_

So  
I'll go sit on the floor  
Wearing your clothes  
All that I know is  
I don't know how to be something you miss

Never thought we'd have a last kiss  
Never imagined we'd end like this  
Your name, forever the name on my lips

Just like our last kiss  
Forever the name on my lips  
Forever the name on my lips  
Just like our last kiss 

[Taylor yelling waving_] -" Lena!_

_[Me]- Ah!_

She tore out of the booth running over to me I scooped her up as we laughed...

[Taylor]- _I didn't know you were going to be here!_

_[Me]- I wasn't suppose to be but I just finished writing_

_Some so I wanted to get them recorded_

_You sound amazing!_

She blushed waving me off..

[Taylor]- _Thanks but it was so not my best vocals of the day_

She sighed taking my hand pulling me to the couch as if to say talk girlfriend so I did I spilled everything. She listened sympathetically her arm wrapped around me...

[Me]- _How do I get him to miss me?_

_[Taylor]- Your asking me? Please I still sit up wearing his_

_Shirt expecting him to come through the door_

_I am the last person to ask..._

_[Me]- There's got to be something that I can do.._

_[Taylor]- What was his favorite things about you?_

I shrugged she gave me a look as if to say don't play dumb you know...I felt myself blush no one knew we had been having sex..so she couldn't know his fav part of me were my breasts..she started poking me till she lunched into a tickle attack which made me fall over trying to block her she slapped my butt just as her producer called her over .I sat back as she went to work breathing fast trying to slow down, flipping through my email on my I-phone I saw a link...

**Teen Queen bares all for boyfriend.**..

Another story about more Miley leaked pictures..Groaning I was a bout to delete when it hit me if it worked for her..maybe it would work for me, before I lost my nerve I signaled I was going to the rest room to Tay. Inside I took a few deep breaths I shouldn't do this I saw what shit she got for it..but I needed Nick to know how much I loved him and I needed him to remember how much he loved me..

I was so nervous I was shaking but I took my cell and recorded me without waiting for any interruption

I got undressed slowly so he would get excited and I started touching myself pouting my lips as I mouthed his name and moaned as I felt myself grow wet showing him holding the phone close to my private area...then I squeezed my breasts moaning his name...I made sure he got a good view of them and moved the cell so my whole body was shown as I was completely naked and played with myself till I came and moaned...Then I said..

_Nicky I love you so much please forgive me_

_Talk to me …_

My stomach was in knots sacred about this I knew it wasn't a good idea but still...I pressed send anyway.

After my nerves were at full swing what if someone else saw it ? What if he was disgusted? Oh My God What if his parents saw it? I was pacing they would hate me god they would think I was a slut..I Wouldn't be the little girl any son's mother would want to see my own dad if he was ever around would be so ashamed ..but who cares about him right? I mean according to my mom he didn't care about me.

He left her when she was pregnant with me and never looked back. Sighing running my hand through my hair I tried to block out my conversation with my mom from earlier in the day..but her words kept coming back to me.

_[Mom]- __Mija __I am so disappointed in you_

_I know I raised you better then this_

_Underage drinking hanging out in clubs_

_Having sex with boys you don't even know_

_What has gotten into you_

_You've changed Selena_

_It's not for the good either_

_I didn't raise you to be a slut_

_You should know what can happen_

_If you drink too much and sleep around you get mistakes _

_That can ruin your life_

_Selena Listen to me when I say this_

_You need a reality check_

_Get help now _

_[Me]- I'm fine mom don't try to act like you care_

_You left me.._

_[Mom]- I Did it out of love Mija you are old enough to take care of yourself now_

_At least I thought you were this makes me wonder_

_[Me]- But not enough to drop your life and come back to me_

_huh?_

_[Mom]- I can't just pack up and leave I have a husband_

_A job here..._

_[Me]-Yea I know mom Don't worry I know they come first_

_[Mom]- Grow up Selena and maybe I could say I was proud_

_To be your mother_

They were the words that stopped me cold in my tracks the tears had been welling up as our voices had risen but I never let them out till those words. Demi had been right by my side as she said them over the speaker phone and she pulled me immediately into her arms. Mom had then went into a rant about how irresponsible and lazy I was...she had reamed me out about the photo's and about how much money it would cost to pay people to make this go away and how people were always going to think of me as one way...Is that how Nick would see me now? The more I thought about it why would I care? He had left me he dumped me and no matter how many times I fought to get him back he ignored me..maybe I should get over him and move on but that was so hard to do...

I was so lost in thought I didn't hear Taylor say my name the first 5 times till I shock my head and she laughed, Hugging me. Apparently it was my turn taking a deep breath I went into the booth fighting off the memories as I tried to get into the song I was recording...

Starting from the 3rd verse which was giving me the most trouble I took a deep breath...

_And I'll never be like I was  
The day I meet you  
To naive, yes I was  
Boy that's why I let you in  
Wear your memory like a stain  
Can't erase one of the pain  
__Here to stay with me forever _

I'm not sure how long I worked on that verse but I wasn't happy with it no matter what I tried Taylor left at some point hugging me making sure I would be okay..I know it was late when I went to my car..only to see I had a flat on all four tires and a broken window someone had spayed the words Neelena is over on the back and HOE on the sides of my car I sank down exhausted and just let the tears fall. I didn't hear the footsteps behind me till it was too late to run.


	26. Chapter 26 Never Grow up Part 2

**Homeward Bound **

**Never Grow Up Part Two**

**Miley...**

Sighing I went back to my room the wind was really picking up now . I could hear it howling outside as three branches pounded against the panels. I shivered despite the fact that we had the heat on and the windows were all sealed shut. Closing my door I slipped off my robe the warm air hit me but made me shiver in spite of the warmth I felt the tiny hairs all over my naked body stand up. Quickly I scrambled back into bed Mandy was sleeping still peacefully but she had shifted her arms were draped over my pillow like she had reached for me to cuddle I hope she didn't wake up and worry when she saw me not there . I hope she didn't wait up till she passed out I saw her lips turned she wasn't smiling now which made me feel bad all I wanted was for her to smile. Slipping into the bed I tried to maneuver myself in without moving her but she was sprawled all over my side which made me laugh. Mandy was so gorgeous so sexy that I had no problem sitting here watching her sleep running my hand softly over her

silky skin , I watched her chest rise and fall steady each beat of her heart which was beating too fast worry crept through me she seemed restless. Her long hair flowed all over the tan pillows I brushed it back pushing it past her neck revealing her shoulder and upper back so perfect so clear.. leaning down I kissed her shoulder she was cold I never wanted her to be cold or hungry or be afraid. Sinking down I slightly moved her arm she moaned but shifted enough so I could slip my tiny figure further into the soft bed sighing I let myself sink down as she wrapped her arms around me she seemed to relax as I ran my fingers over her face as I brought my lips to her mouth. She tasted so sweet god I loved feeling her lips on top of mine the warmth of her breasts pressed against mine her stomach ..I felt my whole body relax as I slide fully under her my hands slide down her whole body trying to warm her up which seemed to work she settled closer to me I could see the tiny hairs on both our body's shrink down .

Mandy buried her face next to mine my fingers ran over her butt which was firm and felt amazing. I kissed her breasts and her face. She stirred waking up her gorgeous eyes stared right into mine as she looked up confused I brushed back her hair as I smiled I loved just watching her ..she looked around as if to figure out what was going on I traced my fingers over her face …

[Me]-_ Baby What's wrong?_

_[Mandy]-I'm not sure.._

She sounded confused which worried me she shivered again which made me wonder if she was getting sick since I was quite warm by then. I wrapped my arms tighter around her pulling her close she seemed to be searching for something or someone...I rested my hand on her face as I kissed her softly my lips sucking on her gentle lips as my hands explored her body which seemed to need to be touched as soon as my left hand fingers gazed her lower half she relaxed her private area became wet with excitement ..I gladly stroked her down there massaging her making her moan but still her eyes searched and she shivered...What the hell had her attention? I looked over to where she was gazing at so fiercely but I didn't see anything expect the window pane open just slightly a breeze blowing the curtains maybe that's why I was so cold earlier how the hell had it opened? Taking her face in my hands I gently pulled her back to me as I felt her explode all over my fingers she let out a soft groan as she fell on to me I laughed kissing her lips and forehead as I stared into her eyes...

[ME]-_I love you Mandy_

_[Mandy]- I love you too Miles..._

Her voice was even softer then normal as she took me in her arms and wrapped me fully wanting to make her for get whatever had happened to make her so uneasy I think I succeed cause she finally stopped looking at whatever the hell she was looking at. She came to me fully and kissed me passionately. We held each other as she rolled me over so I was on top of her as our kisses deepened and our bodies moved with each others ...god she tasted so sweet , felt so amazing any tension any pain melted away as soon as we were in each others arms I closed my eyes and let her take me to places I never saw.

Laying there as we fell back was the most peace I had Mandy lay on my right side her face pressed inches from mine. Check to check , breast to breast .I felt her breath against my throat as I curled my fingers through her hair...I didn't need to tell her to thank you for coming over so late she just knew..I could lay there forever and not need anything else...footsteps came closer..I sat up scared she picked her head up reminding me of a rabbit it was so cute her face filled with worry ..

[Mom]- _Miley are you asleep sweetie?_

_It's late you have a busy day ahead tomorrow_

Should I answer? If I stayed silent maybe she would go away but if I answered would she come in? I hesitated. She sounded so tired and sad a lump formed in my throat. Mandy gripped my thigh hard making me squeak …

[Mandy]- _Shit..._

_[Me]- Shh you trying to get us caught girl?_

_[Mandy]-Sorry you squeaked.._

_[Mom]- Miles ..baby you need to turn that TV off and go to bed..._

Without time to think the door flew open I just reacted and pushed Mandy off the bed she landed hard I cussed myself I knew she would be pissed rightfully so to. Leaning over I whispered sorry she glared but crawled under the bed not a bad view from my vision though watching her naked butt wiggle and squeeze to fit..

[Mom]- _Miley Ray your 17 _

_You need to listen when I speak_

Her heals clicked against the millennium floor as she rounded the corner quickly I wrapped the covers over me tighter sinking down. Please be okay Mandy don't sneeze..cough, fart...anything to give us away..I would be grounded forever then.. Mom sat down and I sighed as she ran her hands through my hair which moments before Mandy had been doing...Could she tell? Damn what would she do? I felt myself shrink further I could feel my tender breasts beneath the covers which were wet with her touch I felt my nipples harden would mom be able to see? If she only knew what we had been doing shit I would never get off punishment..she looked so sad that I just wanted to wrap my arms around her and hold her tell her I loved her and she didn't need to cry or be sad that I just knew daddy would cool off and he would show her how much he loved her ..I prayed he would open his eyes soon..not that I wanted to be here when they made up I mean Ew .. I couldn't do it though cause if I reached up I would have to let go off the blanket and that would mean she would see everything. Not really what I wanted...she seemed like it was what she needed though as she stroked my hair and my face her eyes filling with tears which she tried to hide..As she talked to me softly her accent so strong it made me ache..

[Mom]- _Miles I know your young baby and you think everything_

_Is just so hard...and so unfair_

_I'm sorry you feel like I'm the bad guy _

_But I just want to see you safe sweet heart_

_Your my baby no matter how old you get_

_You'll always be my baby_

_Someday when you grow up sweetie_

_You'll have your own child and you'll understand_

I said nothing I was still recalling our fight and I was getting angry again...I turned away there was so much I could of said should of but I could hear Mandy trying not to breath in under the bed..she had the worst allergies to dust and I haven't cleaned in who knows how long so she must be dying under there. Just leave mom I prayed silently her eyes shining with unshed tears were so blue they tore through me.

I felt her lean against me as she held me close I closed my eyes my own tears welling up as I took in her scent and wanted nothing more then to hug her . I felt her body start to shake with those tears as she wrapped her arms tightly around me.. I didn't move though and after what seemed like a eternity she let go leaning down to kiss the side of my head. I felt her lips soft on my head as she held my hand and ran her left hand over my head face arms...

[Mom her voice was soft almost hard to hear]-

_Miley I love you so much.._

_Always Remember that_

Finally she left closing the door softly..the tears escape I didn't move as I heard her start to cry and rush away...Mandy came up coughing and sneezing but she wrapped her arms around me as I whispered..

_I love you to Mommy_

[Mandy]- _Aw Baby I know she knows_

She held me and whispered to me..I turned to look at her as if to say how? She just smiled and kissed my head..

[Mandy]- _A mother just knows_

_Relax baby I'll make you relax_

She started to massage my shoulders and my back making me moan...closing my eyes I just enjoyed feeling her against me ..eventually I turned relaxed and took her in my arms we kissed so deep I thought my jaw was going to break..

The next morning I shot awake she didn't want to move still exhausted from last night which made me grin as I kissed her head.

_[Me]- You have to go Manderz if Mommy catches_

_You I'm so dead !_

_[Mandy]- We Wouldn't want that _

_Would We Your too cute to die_

_Sides who would be my friend with benefits then?_

_[Me]- Oh I'm sure you'll find someone_

_Your about to blow up the charts_

_Believe me soon I'll be fighting the damn_

_Girls off and those boys..yuck_

_[Mandy]- Haha Very Funny You know_

_Your my one and only..baby.._

_Forever and Always_

She got up kissing my check as she dressed damn I did not want her to cover that gorgeous body of hers..Sighing though I heard mom coming she stumbled as she tried to get her pants up and shoes on . I laughed going over slapping her butt she gasped her mouth hanging open I grinned wickedly pulling up her jeans which made her butt look so tempting throwing her shirt at her as she manged to slide her shoes on I grabbed her purse as she slide out the balcony door mom was half way inside as I kissed her on the lips and she ran down ..

[Mom]- _Miley why are you outside at 5 am it's freezing _

_Get in here before you catch a cold!_

I jumped but scrambled to close the door as I watched Mandy pull out of the drive way safe sighing inside with relief..pulling my robe tighter I smiled at mom who eyed me suspiciously then I remembered last night so I ducked my head..

_[Mom]- You need to be ready_

_In Ten minutes shower and dress_

_I want you to eat before you go!_

_[Me]- Damn one mistake and you ride me about it_

_For days.._

I slammed my bathroom door.. She sighed as she turned and went out..I guess she figured why argue with a total bitch of a daughter. The water felt amazing but I didn't want to wash her away...I literally stared at that bar of soap in my hands for ten minutes like one day wouldn't make a difference really would it? If I could just keep her sweetness on me for a little longer..Then I became paranoid what if someone guessed what we had done? I didn't want any more drama so reluctantly I lathered it on the lavender sent didn't do anything for me expect make me nausea it so did not compare to her sweet vanilla and chi scent...it did make me crave a vanilla chi dirty Latte though.. my mouth watered.. Just as mom banged on the door yelling for me to hurry up!

Going past Brasion's room I saw him still sprawled out in bed drum sticks still in hand I had heard mm yelling moments before so I had a idea racing back to my room I grabbed a can of whip cream yes Mandy and I like to have fun with each others generous bodies. A jar of cherry juice what else could I find? Hum pepper yes that will make him sneeze his butt up and then he'll be up..hehe dang I was evil..

quietly I tip toed into his room so my heals wouldn't click and clang ..his drum sticks were his autographed ones from Areosmith Schnapps he was going to kill me oh well it would so be worth it .. he was out like a light as I squeezed the cream all over his sticks and poured the juice all over his bed and pants which he still made no move damn boys can sleep heavy having more fun I took a old lipstick out and made hearts around his eyes and painted his lips snapping a picture future black mail I justified it with..then out came the pepper which I sprinkled over his nose and then ran just making it out the door as I pressed record on my cell's camera and he sneezed his sticks coming up to his face hitting himself and covering himself in Whip topping as he screamed like a girl seeing the red juice thinking god knows what. I laughed like crazy as I heard ..

[Brasion]- _For the love of possums_

_Miley I'm going to kill you!_

_[Me]- Prove it was me Say hi To all the Youtube_

_Girlies Brasion or should we call you_

_Grace?_

_[Brasion]- MOM!_

Oh Crap didn't think about that part now I would really be grounded ..as I passed Noah's room I saw her on top of her bed jamming out to a invisible guitar solo dancing around like mad to girls just want to have fun my version aw that made me smile. I remembered how Brandi and I use to dance around in our PJ"s when we were suppose to be getting ready for school. I watched her for awhile her hair flying as she just danced and danced she was one with the music her little arms and legs flying.. I wanted to keep her that young forever..a lump formed in my throat..I jumped as I felt a hand on the back of my shoulder..I saw Mom come up we stood watching Noah who just kept jamming not even aware we were watching..

[Mom]-_She loves you_

_Miles no matter what she says_

I smiled tightly as Noah turned and saw us squealing for us to get out as she slammed the door mumbling about no one respecting privacy. I laughed Mom arched a eye brow as if to say a mini Miley..Which made me growl as I stomped out..I was half way out when Brasion came charging down yelling at me grabbing my stuff I ran out the door jumping in my car to escape as I sped out the drive way..half way down the road I realized I never ate again..

It was a long long day one that never seemed to end .I was sure I was heading into another shock since I hadn't eaten all day and had been guzzling Gatorade and energy drinks all day as I ran from meeting to meeting Disney was all over me about my behavior and what consequences they were going to do to me if I didn't straighten up, god they were pissing me off .I couldn't wait till my contract was fully up and the last HM Episode had aired. They kept comparing me to Selena and how clean cut she was and how she would never have all these negative stories about her how she made the right choices all the time. As I sat in the car trying to adjust my eyes reading my text messages from mom reminding me about this apportionment and that one and to be on time she was practically yelling at me over the phone. All I wanted was Mandy..so bad...screw my next apportionment I put it in gear and speed off to see my baby. The signs were blurring together damn I should of eaten or slept more or something anything that would of given me energy. My head was spinning maybe I should pull over..ruffling through my bag I found some OJ mom must of slipped I before I left grabbing a hand full of pills that were suppose to give me energy I quickly swallowed, and kept drinking the OJ burned and

scratched my throat but I could feel it going to my blood and I could only hope it helped. Leaning my head back I closed my eyes... of course as soon as I opened them the dang paparazzi were snapping away. I didn't even know I was screaming till I heard it something snapped inside of me and I went after them..flying out of the car a little wobbly so I had to hold the car as I started screaming at them. Which they got on video of course.

"_[Me]- You need to leave me alone you are being rude and_

_So disrespectful_

_You just cut that guy off _

_[Paparazzi]- It's a free country Miley_

_We have every right to film you_

_Don't be a bitch just cause we saw_

_You popping pills_

_So how does it feel knowing little_

_Kids will look up to you as a inspiration_

_To do drugs?_

_Is this what you teach Noah?_

_[Me]- You need to stop I am not a druggie_

_I was taking energy pills_

_[Paparazzi]- Nice we hear that one every time_

_What's next heroine? _

_[Me]- You need to shut up and stop filming me_

_I am not asking again or I will call the cops!_

By the time the cops got there the drugs had calmed me down and made me stop shaking but I was still dizzy and getting very tired.

By the time I manged to get to the dance studios where BG5 were rehearsing I was ready to drop but of course my agent called reminding me of a meeting I had in 20 minutes down at Disney..Mandy was knee deep in dance moves their choreographer was helping her she was in total concentration mode Dominique looked at me and smiled mouthing she would be awhile. I stood there and watched as she learned the dance moves I knew how much she wanted her group to make it. They were all set deep in what they were doing Brooke was helping Noreen and Laura was spotting them Dominique was by Mandy's side watching her she gave me a sweet smile as I brushed my hair back. I was sweating like crazy and so tired I needed a hug so bad but I knew she was only thinking about getting these moves down I saw it in her face and how hard she was practicing so I didn't want to ruin her focus I mouthed to Doe that I would call her later, she nodded.

Exhaustion swept through me again as I fielded calls after calls my press assistant who was freaking out over some leaked pictures that had surfaced she was screaming at me about the bad press and all the damaging control she was being forced to do yea cause like she doesn't get paid to do this stuff right? I sighed I felt like pulling my hair out..

**Demi**

" _[Me]-_

_I can't believe their doing this ah!_

_Their going to drive me to a freaking breakdown!_

_[Tiffany-] Demi you need to relax calm down you are going to_

_Push yourself faster then can drive you baby you need_

_To relax and keep yourself calm_

_it will work out babe_

_[Demi]- Easy to say when it's not your career n the line!_

_The boys are making me out to be some heartless bitch_

_Their the ones who used me and Selena and Mi _

_[Tiffany]- Yes hun I know and I understand why you are so _

_Pissed I would be ready to string them out _

_like the pigs they are if it was me_

_But I would hope You would be there to calm me down_

_Like I am for you_

_Do listen to me when I say_

_Relax and let your people handle it_

_Your real fans love you and your family_

_And friends we know who you are_

I sighed flopping on our couch she looked at me patting my knee as I laid my head down on the back closing my eyes as she slipped a cool cloth over my head.

[Tiffany]-_Are you okay?_

_[Me]- Yea I will be sweetie_

_Thanks_

[Tiffany]-_ Great now we can talk about me and my wedding_

I laughed as Sterling came in flopping next to me..kissing my head..

[Sterling]- _How's my Dem-Dem doing?_

I groaned he wrapped his arm around my shoulders sighing I laid my head down on his shoulder.

_[Sterling]- Will get through this just remember why you do this!_

_[Me]- Yea I try I really do_

_[Sterling]- Did you ever find Selena?_

_[Me]- [sighing]- No I looked all over I blew up her phone and_

_I can't find her anywhere! It's driving me insane!_

_[Tiffany] – Girl you want insane! Try planning a wedding_

_When your staring on a TV show and your maid of honor_

She cleared her throat as to indicate me...

.._is having a meltdown and not helping and you have less_

_Then 4 months till you walk down the aisle! _

I sighed and laughed at the same time I felt awful with all the drama I had totally flaked on her...

[Me]- _I'm so sorry Tiff I have been a total spaz _

_Ah what are you going to do with me?_

_[Tiffany]- Hang you after I beat you and starve you_

_Kidding just focus Dems_

_[Me]- Okay ,okay I promise full attention from now on_

_Come on and bring those magazines and bridal things over here_

_[Tiffany]- That's Better_

She grabbed some magazines notebooks water and a whole bunch of stuff over to us the boys made a face as Allyson and I looked at each other as if to say what the heck are we getting into?

At some point I managed to fall asleep not even sure at one point I just remember coming in from rehearsal after 3 hours and flopping down. Tiffany must of covered me before heading to a interview cause I woke up to my door being pounded on as a pissed off Mi came in.

I barely heard her as she ranted and raved about the evil of paparazzi's Selena, Jonas and internet blogs.. I knew it wasn't a good idea for me to drive I was beat but she was shaken so bad I knew she was dangerously close to passing out and besides we both needed to chill out.

My mind should have been on Mi and what she was going through I could see she was troubled but honestly all I could think about was Sel and what she was going through she was my best friend after all.

We were trying to figure out where to go to eat when my phone blew up all over again sighing I grabbed it Lena's panicked voice filled my ears I could hear her crying as she started telling me what was going on sighing I spun the SUV around and headed 20 miles the other way to pick her up. Mi gave me a short look as if to say really? I was in no mood to come between these two so I silenced her with a look she sunk down into the passengers seat as I stepped on the gas.

By the time I got to where Lena was it was already after 10 pm the headlights didn't provide much light on these dark out skirted roads ...but I manged to find my way as I finally reached where she had been recording why didn't I think to look here? She always used this studio it was far from La which is what she loved people never knew to look for her here...my headlights scanned the area till they landed on some thing ….I gasped it was a body Lena's body...


	27. Chapter 27 Never Grow Up Part 3

**Homeward Bound**

**Never Grow Up Part Three**

**Demi p o v**

_{ Me]- Lena! Oh my god Lena !_

I threw my keys down as I ran to her she was curled up against the building in a heap blood had spilled onto the side walk besides her.. I stumbled and almost fell scrapping my knee as I jetted to her throwing myself on top of her. I could feel her thin body shaking as I gripped her holding her...her tear stained face filled my eyes as I lifted her head up to meet my eyes... her face was bruised and she had deep bags under her gorgeous eyes which made my blood boil. What scared me most was the blood trickling down her face and head...my lips were cracked and dry so I licked them to clear myself to talk but my throat was tight with anger and fear not wanting to say the wrong thing. Her voice was strained from exhausting who knows how long she had been singing today and clogged from tears but I could hear the despair and sadness when she started to speak...

[Selena]- _They hate me Dems they really hate me_

[Me]- _No babe no one who knows you_

_And has a half a brain could hate you_

_[Selena]-They do though..._

She started to cry as I helped her up a slight moan escaped her as she pointed to her car... the anger inside me rose I saw the nasty words across it and wanted to spit on them even Mi looked pissed even though she remained rooted to her spot not even lancing at Lena I looked at her as if to say help me she looked away fooling with her nails. I bite my tongue so I wouldn't say anything rude but I wanted to so bad..finally she groaned and came over wrapping her other arm around Lena who looked as unhappy about it as Miles was. I managed to get her over to my car I could hear her chocking on her own tears. I wanted to rip apart whatever gutless heartless rude imbecile did this.

Mi kept staring straight ahead as we went to her house which was closet she didn't speak to me I know she was fuming that she was dragged away from her plans to help Lena. I watched Sel as we headed home she didn't move much. Every once in awhile I heard a moan escape.

[Me]- _Can you chill miles_

_For real I know Selena has burned you_

_But you don't need to be so bitchy _

_She went through something horrible _

_Can you just help me and .._

_[Miles]- And WHAT? _

_She stole my boyfriend!_

_I hate her Demi _

_I seriously hate her!_

_I wish she was dead!_

_[Me]- Miley! _

_You don't mean that!_

_[Mi]- Yes I do it would be so much easier for me!_

_[Me]- And What about me she's my best friend!_

_[Mi]- That's your problem huh.._

_[Me]- Are you pmsing?_

_[Mi]- Shut up and drive..._

_[Me]- Don't tell me what to do in my car _

_Especially with your driving skills_

_Miss I crashed the car twice in one week_

_[Mi]- It wasn't a crash per say_

_[Selena]- Guys what happened?_

_Why does it feel like my head _

_Was used as a batting cage?_

_[Mi]- Maybe you shouldn't …_

_[Me]- Miley be nice or_

_[Mi]- I'll just be quite now.._

Selena had this cute little confused look on her face like what the hell did I do? I smiled back at her to reassure her it wasn't her fault. Mi was looking out the window biting her lip I didn't know what was going on with her but she was pissing me off.

Finally we got to her house and we helped Lena up to Miley's room I took Sel into the bathroom she was still stumbling a little as I helped her inside Mi made no move to help it broke my heart to see Selena so hurt she was laying her head down on my shoulder in pain it was obvious, her face was bruised and she had blood running down her face it looked like stones were embedded finding the wash cloths I tried to be as gentle as I could as I washed her off...trying to get information out of her brushing her hair away from her eyes I saw they were shining with tears. I hugged her and she melted into my arms. I rocked her as her tears fell in giant sobs...

_[Selena]- I miss him Demi I miss him so bad_

_I need my Nicky.._

_[Me]- shh I know baby I know it's going to work out_

_Just hold on someday he'll open his stupid boy coated eyes_

_And see the truth.._

Once she had that out of her system I helped her get her shirt off to wash her up and make sure she wasn't hurt any where else...she started to tell me what had happened...After she was done washing up she went to lay down. Mi was arguing with her mom over something she looked mad I couldn't tell who was madder though her or Tish. Selena had fallen asleep right away so I covered her up.

Miley came back in boiling mad slamming her phone down which made her cuss as she checked to make sure it wasn't broke. I went over and rubbed her back trying to get her to calm down which she finally did as she told me about the fight with her mom in the morning. I tried to talk to her but she was just set in her mind...I had no idea how rough things were at home..unable to help ease her pain I just wrapped my arms around her smelling her sweet perfume it seemed to help her.

After a few hours I convinced Mi she needed to eat so she insisted on going out even though her mom wanted her to stay there which lead to another fight.. Selena woke up looking at me lost I shrugged going over to her I wrapped my arms around her she sighed and leaned her head down.

_[Selena]- Oh Dems when is it going to get easier?_

Laughing I shock my head..

_[Me]-Does it ever really get easier?_

_Or Do we trade one set of problems from another?_

Mi came back in screeching slamming the door I heard her mom yell she was grounded longer and Mi spun her face red and blotchy Selena came over to her I bit my lip but instead of snapping at her Mi fell into her arms and stayed there.

Miley started to call Mandy to meet up with us but apparently Mandy was having a rough day cause mi was on the phone for awhile. I could see her tense up as I heard her parents fighting. She rolled her eyes as she gripped the chair even Selena gave her a look of feeling sorry for her which pissed Mi off more she hates pity.

Finally Mandy made it here Selena haven had a few hours of sleep and was feeling slightly better... . Mandy was exhausted and wanted a hot shower so Mi wanted her to come with us and she was already in a pissed off mood so Mandy refusing to go pissed her off more which lead them to fight at some point Mandy grabbed her and yanked her into the bathroom where we heard them fighting for like 10 minutes till the water started to run...Worried I slightly edged my way did they kill each other? What I saw was...yea well shocking doesn't cover it...Mandy was naked in the tub and Mi was fully clothed was almost on top of her they were kissing passionately. I backed up shocked Selena's voice cut through me asking me what was wrong? I shock my head and squeaked out nothing. Mi came out 5 minutes later happy grabbing her keys.

After we grabbed food we headed home...

[Me]- _Can someone please drive I wanna Text_

_Tiffany..._

I threw the keys and didn't even notice who grabbed them although they both fought over it cuddling up in back I started to text Tiffany who of course was right by her phone and texted me back right away

she had me laughing as I heard Selena and Mi fighting over Nick. I sighed why did I leave them in front?

_[Selena]- Damn paparazzi are stalking us again_

_Why Can't we lose them? _

[Miley]- _There's not as many as usual though _

_[Selena]- Praise be for small miracles.._

I was so engrossed in what was going on I didn't see anything else until I heard...

_Watch out!_


	28. Chapter 28 Borrowed Angels Part 1

**Homeward Bound **

**Borrowed Angels**

**Demi's p o v**

They say there are moments in life that shape you that are frozen in your mind forever like snap shots of times they come and go so fast that when you are in the moment you can't truly capture them but when you look back at them they stick out. That was how this was it happened so fast yet it felt like it was slow motion they were arguing as they always do so I blocked it out then I heard her scream and I looked up just as I felt the car swing violently to the right side. A flash went past some animal flew past us escaping into the safety of the bushes ...Miley and Selena screamed I screamed ..I felt the car jerk and I heard tires squeal as she tried to get control. I heard more honking, more squeaks it sounded like brakes . I looked up just as a flash of red metal blinded me . I saw another car honk and swerve our car jerked screams filled the air metal upon metal scrapped. I felt myself flying I tried to grab something anything but it was useless..I was lifted and I was air born..glass shattered ...metal twisted ...the car was air born..I felt the impact as we crashed through the guard rail...

[Me]-_Selena! Miley!_

I screamed their names I heard one of them scream at me in response but my head was in a sudden bust of pain as I felt it smash against something hard ..I felt my face become a flame..I felt something dripping down as I was jabbed and poked stabbed ,cold , wet . I felt myself rolling ,falling . I couldn't grab anything .. I heard the crunching of metal glass shattering flames bursting out everything went cold as I landed hard the sound of bones breaking filled my ears...pain rushed through me my head hit something hard...I yelped...Someone cried in the distant . I felt something wet and hard began to fall...pain.. pain shock as cold as your when mom dumps water on you during a deep sleep to wake you ...the pain just took over me ...I tried to cry out but I couldn't my voice was useless.. ... was someone going to help us? I tried to turn but I couldn't move...what was hurting me so bad? I tried to get up my legs shook as I pushed myself up... looking out I saw Selena she was pinned against rocks she had been thrown out the windshield she was laying 100's of feet from me. I could see the blood pouring from her... I tried to get my feet to obey as I finally pulled myself up with the rocks..I was on the edge finally I saw we had crashed through the guardrail going over 80 mph hitting the rocks that over headed the pacific ocean.

[Me]-_Selena Hold on I'm coming!_

I finally found my voice as I started to try to climb but my legs felt useless heavy what the hell was going on? I started talking to myself

_Come on you freaking legs you hold up through hours_

_Of countless dance rehearsals what's a little car accident?_

_Just put one foot ahead and you can do this_

_One ..Two..._

Sighing in frustration as each step felt like a 150 lb weight was on me ...I looked down ready to give my legs hell I mean my best friend needed me..Then I saw.. my left foot was covered in thick red blood pouring out it was barely there ..I heard a scream as I felt a pounding in my head and I felt gravity leave me..I was falling again...


	29. Chapter 29 Borrowed Angels 2

**Homeward Bound **

**Borrowed Angels Two**

**E M T's Sue 's P O V**

[Me]- _We need to refill quickly _

_Joe clean the backboards _

_Test the straps we need to make sure _

_The monitors are working correctly_

_[Julia]- Hey Sue how's it going been crazy so far today huh?_

_[Me]-Yea it has hope it slows down soon.._

I sighed as I took a seat down next to Julia Marcos who was one of the unit Secretary's on this night. As usual she was busy handling calls and filling out admission papers. The E-Ward was strangely quite for a week night. Julia handed me a fresh water which I appreciated as I tried to get caught up on my paper work which I hadn't had a chance to do since my first call when I came on duty this afternoon . I was in the middle of a 12 hr shift and for my crew and I . It had been non-stop from simple calls like falls to broken bones to more serious situations . I was looking forward to my break even if it wasn't to grab food as it was just to sit down.

[RN Maggie]- _Sure is quite here_

_[20 of us] -Shhh..._

_[Reggie RN] -Damn you never say that in the E-Ward_

It was a long old joke that saying it was quite in the ER would set off a chain of bad events..everyone looked around nervously for a minute till we relaxed Julia and I laughed . I went back to filling out paper work as DR. McMillan started to tell a joke which got us all laughing..right as the my walkie talkie cracked on ...

" _Unit 360 first response needed _

_320 pick up!_

_[Me]] -Marty it's Sue what's the call?_

Marty was one of the dispatchers at the station she kept me informed of all calls that come into the station that are urgent and need first response ..

[Marty]- _ First response needed on Pacific coast Highway_

_Southbound PCH in __Crystal Cove State Park__ near __Laguna Beach__. _

_MVA_

_SUV collided with a car going North bound_

_Suv has gone over guard rail_

_At least two other cars were involved from _

_What I hear a school bus was_

_hit.._

My heart stopped a school bus? My kids were heading to Orange County for a class trip they were due to be heading back now.

[Me]-W_ere heading there now Marty any.._

_[Marty]- Sorry Sue no word on which bus or any names.._

_[Me]- It's okay keep me posted_

_Lets go guys! _

_[Julia]- So much for a quite night.._

She glared at Maggie who was sinking back as many were giving her the stare down..I grabbed my guys which included Robert my EMT-1 Joe my Driver who's a EMT-2 and Brooke who's my Fellow Paramedic like me..EMT"S 1 are responsible for administering first aid; performing basic procedures such as opening airways, giving oxygen, immobilizing fractures, and bandaging wounds; following instructions given by other medical professionals.

EMT 2 are responsible for Driving emergency vehicles; administering first aid; performing basic procedures as well as advanced procedures such as administering intravenous fluids, using defibrillators to give life-saving shocks to a stopped heart, and other intensive care procedures.

Paramedics are responsible for Performing a wide range of medical procedures, including more advanced procedures such as administering drugs orally and intravenously, interpreting electrocardiograms (EKG's), and performing endotracheal intubations; diagnosing and treating minor injuries.

I've been in this field since I was 18 my mom was a EMT my Dad a doctor I grew up around Emergencies all my life. I spent more time in the station then I did at home. When I was 16

I volunteered at my dad's hospital here at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. At

18 . I joined the squad and started my training it's taken me 5 years to get to be a paramedic with all the course work they do now plus you have to a month of working with a anesthetist. I quickly fell in love with my job and two years ago I was promoted to supervisor I run my own Ambulance and basically assist with the major traumas.

Joe knew exactly how to get to where we needed to get to and I left it in his hand as Brooke and I made sure all our supplies were where they needed to be and Robert got the machines set to where they needed to be ..the rain had started about 20 minutes ago and was now turning into a full blown rain storm the palm tresses were taking a beating as they were blown around.. my mind races to all the possibility's of what we would see. How many victims were there how would we treat them?

We were one of the first ones on the scene besides the officers before the vehicle even came to a full stop I was racing out in all my years I have seen so much tragedy many involving young kids but this scene took my breath away and almost made me drop to my knees . A school bus was sprawled on it's side the bright yellow making it stick out in the coat of night. I saw kids laying in the street one was wrapped around the guardrail her blond hair covered in tire tracks she was 4'4 couldn't weigh more then 80 lbs she had on white daisy shorts a Dora the explore yellow tank top her hair in pigtails she was covered in blood . I ran over to her she couldn't be more then 7 and she was lifeless..no amount of CPR was working and as one of the few on the scene . I had to make the decision no mother ever wants to make there were many others who could be saved..she could not...I called it and moved on but not before saying a quick prayer to bless her young soul. Then I ran to where Robert was Accessioning a little boy who was screaming as he checked his leg which was horribly bent he was the cutest kid you could ever see I was sure he was a model his curly soft brown hair stuck out on all sides he was 4'7 or so with the sweetest smile which I was determined to see as I went over and started asking him questions ..

_[Me]-What's your name sweetie? I'm Sue.._

He sniffled as he chocked out..Robert started to rub his back

_[Kid]- Damion ...Adam Harrison_

_I'm 12_

_[Me]-You are hon I have a son your age his name is Davis_

_What's school do you to?_

_[Damion]- Xavier Middle School in La_

_[Me]-Wow so does my son_

_What's your favorite subject?_

_{Damion]- History I want to be a historian when I get older_

_I love soccer is my leg going to be okay?_

He started to relax as the shot of Metrazene I gave him took effect. We packed his leg and Robert kept a eye on his vitals while making notes on his chart. I went on to the next Victim a older girl about mid teens she was laying hunched over the passengers seat of the Vehicle that had collided from the north bound lane. She was knocked out but she wasn't bleeding externally. I checked her vitals and assessed her quickly but thoroughly no broken bones no sprains nothing to indicate she was in any danger but I was worried about head injuries. I ordered her to be ready for transport. Kids were crying some were in shock but two teenagers were helping to get them in order off the street a grownup was helping to control the traffic as Joe screamed for me to come to him I ran 3 miles down the road where a little girl about 5 was sitting in what use to be the bus she was crying ..

[Little Girl]-_ When's Mommy going to wake up! _

_Where's Daddy_!

_Why won't mommy wake up!_

_[Me]-Where's Your mommy Sweetie?_

_What's Your Name?_

She was sniffling as her little face was beat red with her emotions written all over her young face her fists were clenched up..

[Little Girl] -_Mommy wake up!_

_Mommy wake up!_

_[Joe]- Her name's Katie I found her id_

_Katie Walsh She's 5 from La_

_Her Parents are Steve and Mariah _

_NKA [ No Known Allergies] _

_[Me]-Good give her Some Metrazene _

_[Katie]- Mommy!_

She pointed to under the seat I quickly ran trying to get under the twist of metal and rubber to reveal the girls mom who was without question dead.. Joe moved to cover her view as I grabbed a sheet and covered her. Katie was now calmer as she laid her head down...I ran to check over more kids who had little to no injuries but were in shock as I tried to piece together information how the crash happened did anyone know if my son was on board..I saw a few of his friends..running over to ask one of them I knew as Sam I started to question him even as much training as I had when your child is involved it seizes to matter training becomes the past as panic takes over. Before I could enter the state of hysteria Brooke screamed out ...Brooke is always calm she's a godsend to us hearing her panic made my heart stop was it Davis? Was it Wendy my 10 Y. o ..as I turned to head to where she was I saw a young man who was obliviously the driver of the North Bound Car staggering as the police were making him walk a straight line he was failing miserably. They were dong a Breathalyzer ...Anger boiled up inside of me.. How stupid was this kid? To get behind the wheel of a car when he was in no condition to operate

a toy truck never mind a 4000 lb moving vehicle.. he had his fun tonight got loaded got behind the wheel..for what? A joy ride with some hot girls...and these sweet kids..these angels ..got...pain suffering..and death...

Looking around it was a scene from a horror movie shattered glass which glistened with sparkles of blood. Metal which was now apart of the California coast way twisted around guard rails rocks car upon cars. As the kid turned around there was gasping among the girls...I knew who he was instantly thanks to Wendy's obsession ...that reddish blond hair those blue eyes ..Justin Beeper ..had caused all this..he had tears in his eyes as the police arrested him. The paparazzi were going crazy snapping pictures of the scene before the police could even try to stop them. They were getting pictures of the dead and the injuries scaring the kids more..my anger was at a a breaking point.


	30. Chapter 30 How Could This Happen To Me ?

**Homeward Bound **

**How Could This Happen To Me**

**Demi's p o v**

" _Selena hurry up we don't want to be late!_

_Demi wait up!_

_I can't Lena pump those little legs come on!_

It was our first day on Barney and Friends set and I was so excited I had bought a new dress and I looked so cute well that's what my mom had told me over and over as she cried while she was taking pictures today. Lena had been crabby all day she hates getting up this early and she had a fight with her mom over it. I had to calm her down and stayed with her to help her pick out a cute outfit she refused to wear a dress declaring them yucky as she stuck out her tongue. Which made me laugh...now we were rushing to get to set on time. I was ahead ..Later on set we were playing..

_[Selena]- Demi watch me!_

_[Me]- No Lena it's too high!_

Before I could say anything she had leaped from the platform to the bar but her little legs couldn't pump high enough and she fell short of the bar...she screamed I saw here fall.

[Selena]- _Demi wake up it's me.._

_[Me]-Selena where are you..._

_Lena..._

I saw her finally she was dressed in white a beautiful top notch designer one shoulder silk gown , funny how the little girl who use to stick her tongue out at dresses now wears them daily for publicity who has half a closet filled with only the best. She was waiting for me her hand reached out she looked perfect. No cuts, no bruises ..._Lena..._I called softly why were my lips so dry? I looked at her something was different I couldn't pin point why ...then it dawned on me she looked peaceful ..I hadn't seen that look on her in years ..it brought a smile to my face …

_[Selena]-Come on Demi _

_Hurry up so we can be together_

_He won't wait forever..._

_[Me]-Where are we going?_

_Why hurry? I like sleeping_

_[Selena]- Silly that's my line_

_Heaven of course_

_God's waiting for us_

Fear filled my heart as I felt pain fill my head.. '' _Lena No.." _I struggled to open my eyes...which seemed to want to stay frozen shut..but she kept calling to me..she needed me I knewit I felt it..slowly my eyes opened they burned my chest was on fire as I struggled against the pain in my back and in my legs. It wasn't as bad this time. I was probably in shock but I didn't care I used whatever strength I could to pull myself up from there it was like I was on auto pilot. I rushed slipping and sliding down the rocks..there was already a crowd looking flashes of the paparazzi. I didn't care all I saw was my precious Lena..she was trapped in the car which was teetering on the edge of the rocks...grabbing the rocks I edged my way carefully across..trying to watch out for branches and drop offs ..my foot caught in a hole and I felt myself propelling forward..I cried out as I landed on something soft...which moaned..

I knew that moan...Oh ?God No I thought how could I forget...

[Me]- _Miley! Oh My God someone help me!_

_Miles!_

She was laying there lifeless it seemed at first glance she was thrown against the inside of a rock laying flat on her back blood was dripping from her check and forehead but I didn't see any big gashes she was covered in dirt and soaked from rain but she looked pretty well otherwise ..

[Me]- _Miles please be okay baby please be breathing_

I could smell her cinnamon and vanilla she loved to use those scents..feeling for a pulse frantically. I breathed a huge sigh of relief when I found one. Gently laying her down I kissed the top of her forehead saying a prayer and telling her I would be back that I loved her and just needed to check on Lena.

Feeling a renewed sense of urgency and energy I finally got to the SUV which was dangling about 50 feet over the beach where people looking up and pointing some getting this on video other snapping pictures sick freaks I thought to myself didn't anyone try to help?

The smell of gasoline made my heart race as I got closer. I could see how badly Lena was she was trapped between the rocks and the upside down SUV which was on top of her pinning her onto the sharp jagged rocks. How the hell was I going to get her out? I called to her telling her to hold on her head was covered in blood her face unrecognizable. Her leg was twisted under the dashboard which was crushed into submission on top of her chest. Blood was pouring out from under her rib cage she was turning blue. I could hear her chocking on her own blood. I started to scream as I tried to get under the van anything to get this monster of her chest...I stroked her face her eyes were closed her breaths getting shorter...time was running out I knew it ...I started beating on the damn SUV screaming...I had to get this off..but how the hell do I do it without ripping her leg off?

Think Demi what the hell can you do? I had to stabilize her I knew that try to get her to respond and keep her awake slowly. I crawled over to where she was and felt for a pulse the car was smashed beyond recognizing the windows on the side blown out the right side windshield smashed from where she must of gone through. The back was ripped off I could smell gasoline starting to leak all I could think about was oh my god this thing is going to explode and she is going to die. I wasn't going to let happen. Grabbing a stick that was thick and strong I started to bash the rest of the windshield in as I called her name ..

_Lena , Lena hang on sweetie you have to hold on_

_I'm getting too you.._

The glass did not want to break no matter how hard I was pounding why wasn't this just shattering? It should crumble since it was already half broke. I could feel the sweat soaking me I felt myself growing beyond sore I was in pain and I was exhausted but my adrenaline was in full force as I finally broke the remaining glass dropping the stick I crawled into the car glass pelted me as I tried to crawl into the car trying to not to rock it.

" _Sel baby it's Dems_

_I'm right here hon I swear_

_Please give me a sign _

It was so dark I couldn't see anything I had to feel my way which took more time and made me angry I needed to get to her now..I heard a loud crackling and a pop as I felt a sharp pain cut through my hand causing me to wince as I tried to to kick something out of the way it was growing hotter by the minute finally I got to what I thought was her leg. I needed light what the hell could I use? Grabbing my neck I felt my pendant that Selena had given to me 6 years ago on one of my birthday's she had it engraved SMG 3 DDL 4eva B4L kissing it I held it up I knew there was no light left but maybe if it caught something a piece of metal it would shine enough to let me get an idea what I was working with...holding it up I gasped a bright orange glow enlightened the pendant …

_Oh my god were on fire the car blew a line!_

_Someone help us please!_

_Someone help us!_

My breathing grew quick and hard I felt the tears building up as I chocked on them kicking and shoving anything I could to get this damn dashboard to budge I needed her leg to get free...I could feel the flames getting closer and nothing was working... the car was crackling ..and hissing...

_Nick! Nick..._

Her voice was soft and broken cracked quickly I grabbed her hand crawling over to her I couldn't see much anymore it was darker ,colder on the ground she was covered in dirt and twigs I brushed her face gently as she cried out in pain her eyes opened slightly .I grabbed her face holding it in my hands …my heart broke hearing her call out for Nick...

_[Me]-"Lena Baby it's Demi_

_[Selena]- Demi ..Oh...Where are we...?_

_Ow..god..why ..ow..._

_[Me]- Baby shh I know you hurt shh_

_I'm right here..._

_We were in a accident sweetie you need to stay calm_

_[Selena]- What ..Wher...ow..._

_I don't remember.._

_Me]- Shh it's okay just hold on_

_I'm yelling for help!_

I couldn't go the way I came I had to find a new way just as I started to head to what use to be the other window..A loud explosion filled the air and the car filled with smoke and flames . Selena started screaming realizing I was trapped I started screaming to before I realized it wouldn't do her any good she needed to remain calm so if we did get out she wouldn't bleed to death the more your stress goes up the quicker your blood pressure goes up the more you can bleed. Crawling back to her I grabbed her hand as she screamed tears falling..

_[Selena]- Oh god were going to burn!_

_Please someone help us_

_Don't let me die!_

_I don't want to die please help us!_

_[Me]- Calm down Sel please I won't let you die_

_Lets pray …_

I grabbed both hands and held them in mine under my chin.. we were both crying as the flames started to nip at my legs..the smoke was chocking us..I couldn't breathe right...we started to chant...

_Do not look forward to what may happen  
Tomorrow; the same everlasting Father who cares  
For you today will take care of you tomorrow and  
Every day. Either He will shield you from suffering,  
Or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it.  
Be at peace, then. Put aside all anxious thoughts and  
Imaginations, and say continually: "The Lord is my  
Strength and my shield. My heart has trusted in Him  
And I am helped. He is not only with me but in me,  
And I in Him." _

_The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.  
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:  
He leadeth me beside the still waters.  
He restoreth my soul:  
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name' sake._

_Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,  
I will fear no evil: For thou art with me;  
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.  
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;  
Thou annointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over._

_Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,  
and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever._

_{EMT Brooke]- Is Someone there!_

_[Us]- Yes help us please help us!_

_[Selena]- Stay with me Demi please_

_[Me]- I won't leave you I'm right here I promise.._

Grabbing my jacket I pulled it off and wrapped it around her mouth to protect her from the smoke as I coughed and chocked . I was never more thankful to see people then I was to see the Rescue squad .their words were blurring together for me .I couldn't make out everything but I heard snippets of what was being said.

_Backboard _

_Met vac _

_Jaws of life.._

_Fire Department! _

Everything was blacking out I placed my head on Lena's chest. I could hear her breathing become labored and clogged.. I kept whispering hold on Lena hold on and she kept repeating the same thing to me...loud noises filled the air..people yelling, machines, blasts of water...the car grunting. I felt it shift she grabbed me tighter... Before I knew it air rushed inside and we were lifted apart I screamed for them to let me near her..someone held me back trying to talk to me calm me down so they could work on her. I stumbled as I tried to break free my vision became blurry .I saw them strap her to a board a helicopter hovered above and lifted her up. She was pale ..so pale and not moving .I saw clearly how bad she was bleeding blood had soaked through her pants covered the ground and was already soaking the sheets on the stretcher. They had her on oxygen and monitors. I yelled to her tears falling and clogging me as someone was trying to push me up a hill nearby that wasn't covered in rocks...she kept talking to me and rubbing my back and shoulders as soon as we got to a clearing they were waiting with a stretcher .

[Sue]- _Brooke Get Down it's.._

I was shoved to the ground as a explosion rung out the car went up in flames sending metal , glass plastic ,dirt, rocks flying everywhere ...Just as blackness engulfed me it hit me ..Miley!


	31. Chapter 31 Borrowed Angels Part 3

**Homeward Bound**

**Borrowed Angels Part 3**

**Sue's p o v**

_[Me]- 5 minutes ETA_

_She's bleeding internally _

_We need to stabilize her_

_Keep her head still_

_Traction_

_Tighten the board _

_BP's dropping _

As we pulled up I could see the trauma center was on full alert Police cruisers were surrounding the area doctors had already lined the entrance awaiting us..the first of many to arrive .

_[Dr. Tanner]- What do we have?_

_[Me]- 18 year old female_

_Shattered __ Right Tibia Fractured _

_Shattered Right Fibula _

_Intracranial hemorrhage which is causing_

_Cerebral Hemorrhage_

_[Dr. Tanner]- Any signs of consciousness?_

_[Me]- She was responsive at the scene_

_But Barely _

_Lost Consciousness 10 minutes ago_

_[Doctor Tanner]- Get her into Trauma one.._

_Lets move_

_I want a CBC ,X-rays of the right leg_

_Page respiratory _

_We need to get her bleeding under control_

_She's hemorrhaging again _

Once she was in their hands we cleaned up and headed back to the scene adrenaline had kicked in already and was pulling me as we plunged back into the action people were rushing around screaming orders , taking orders , parents, friends of victims were arriving it was mass confusion as the workers tried to restore some sense of calm in the midst of tragedy. I saw another crew coming in with her friend the young 18 year old red hair lay still as her foot was in traction she was on a EKG and looked peaceful dispute the amount of blood loss she had already sustained. Others were being brought in as well kids of all ages some serious some with minor injuries all scared and confused, angry some in shock. The ones who were alright physically but just needed to be checked were being lead to fast track while the ones who were to be admitted were in Accommodations area.

The ride back we were escorted by the police so we got there even faster the scene was straight out of a movie. Ambulances lined the area police cars blocked off the scene the lights were eerie silent but made a impact. Blood smeared the pavement turning it dark red instead of black. Glass was shattered everywhere making walking dangerous there were only a few victims left ...I went over to the chief of police to see what needed to be done. Which is how I found myself being on the search and rescue team for any more victims. Looking out over the highway I shock my head this could take hours to search the whole ground the pacific coast highway stretches out for miles this area itself is a winding road that wraps tightly around the mountains if a car is going to fast coming southbound or is struck by another car going to fast from the Northbound lanes at this intersection they are in danger of being thrown over the cliff as the SUV occupants learned too late. The cliff dangles 100 feet over the beach resort community which is privately owned . The cliff is a tangle of tress rocks dirt and steep ledges which the wrong move can send a person plummeting to their death quickly. I had a few rescue missions in this area and the same path can never be done twice each search is a different adventure. Gathering my team I took the area that chief Weber had given me.

It had already been 2 hours since the crash … searching the area was pain staking long every little spot had to be covered several times so as not to miss any clues. The rain was pounding harder the wind blowing so it made it even more dangerous. I was struck by the calm that had taken over me it never stops to amaze me the little things you notice in the midst of sheer terror people lying dead , blood spilled all over the pavement rescue workers frantically rushing trying to transport victims shouting orders police officers sealing off the scene yelling out procedures and gathering evidence. Cars being directed people stopping to offer help or just gawk and stare paparazzi snapping pictures trying to get information . Police trying to block them yet in all this . I could notice that the car's CD system was still blaring out the latest music.

The chief was calling the search off due to the weather but my instincts told me to keep going. My crew looked at me as if to say what do we do? I didn't want to put them in any danger they all had families and friends . I looked at them and dismissed them Brooke looked at me. I motioned I was keeping on she nodded grabbing my hand as if to say she was with me. With out any words the others stayed by me. We helped each other as we slide on rocks tripped over branches and dodged waves which were dangerously high.

[Brooke]-_ Ahhh.._

_[Me]- Got you babe_

I grabbed Brooke before she slide entirely down the muddy hill bracing my leg against a rock as I pulled her up . She grabbed me and pulling herself up my arms gave out and we both fell straight down I wouldn't let go of her as we slide further into the mud. I felt my skin rip open as we were thrown around over rocks , branches , salt water and fresh water burned as it was thrown over us. I spit out mud as I landed hard …

[Me]- _Brooke are you okay? _

_[Brooke]- No I think I broke my ow.._

She tried to get up and fell running over I quickly got to her as she cringed in pain ..taking a deep breath she fought through it .. As soon as I got there I could see,that her ankle was twisted bad. Putting my arm around her. I helped her up and braced her whole weight against me. She leaned into me I felt her breaths increase trying to calm her down . I kissed her forehead , She seemed to relax knowing I wasn't going to let her fall.

[Joe]- _Sue hurry up we found someone _

_Probably the reason Brooke tripped_

_[Me]- I'm coming Brooke can .._

_[Brooke]- No Go help her I'll wait here_

_[Me]-I'm not leaving you sweetheart so suck it up_

_[Joe]- Sue we really need you!_

_This girl is critical!_

_[Broke]-Go Sue really I can make it up by myself_

_You need to help the patient!_

_[Me]-Okay but just be careful Brooke_

_[Brooke]- I will go.._

She practically pushed me up the hill as she grabbed onto a tree to balance herself .. the rain was blinding me preventing me from seeing her till I got there but as soon as I dropped to my knees. I gasped. This poor girl was buried under debris and tree's she was soaked through …

_[Me]- What's her vitals?_

_[Joe]- BP is 80/ 20_

_Temp is 78.2_

_Pulse 20 irregular heart beat _

_Respiratory rate: 3_

_[Me]- Get her on Oxygen now!_

_No signs of consciousness_

_Reflex's weak pupils fixed and dilated_

_Be-careful as you move her on three get her on the backboard_

_One..two.._

It was treacherous to get her on the board since we were slipping and sliding the wind and rain blinding us. There was almost no movement no signs of life from her as they strapped her just a quick assessment of her , I could see she had a broken leg and her back felt swollen. This young women had the odds stacked against her but she was fighting _. _I felt it her squeeze as I leaned over whispering to her to squeeze my hand if she heard me there was such force it was like she was begging me to help her voice her needs in ways that she couldn't say out loud . Grabbing The handles Joe and Robert signaled they were ready. We needed a helicopter but the closet one was still 20 minutes away and this girl didn't have that much time. Carefully we headed uphill my heart went out to this poor girl and to her family. My anger at this situation boiled how was it fair that these kids paid the price for another stupid kids actions?

The scene when we reached the top was like a movie sirens lining the streets police had road blocks set up and were holding back over zealous reporters and eager fans as well as sick people who just wanted to gawk at someone else misfortune . The streets were packed kids were shouting " _Beeper Beeper Oh Beeper We Want you To Be Ours!_ " Didn't these kids realize this kid wasn't anyone's role model? Body bags were already lining the street of those who were paying for his mistake. A quick glance counted 10..I was determined this young lady wouldn't be another one... As we came up the whispers increased as kids started to point and shout out..they seemed to recognize her. A few gasps escaped the crowds as well maybe this would get it through to them the cost that a mistake can make.

[Me]- _What's her vitals?_

_[Joe]- Pulse is dropping BP is dropping_

_15_

_Respiratory 3_

_60/10_

_Body Temp 71.5_

_[Me]- We Need To Watch for Ventricular fibrillation _

_She Needs to get to a hospital now_

_Hook her up to a AED _

_[Robert]- I'm on it Sue_

_[Me]- What's her _arrhythmia_ ?_

_[Robert]-It's Not good Sue we need to move.._

_[Me]-Get her clothes off.._

Cutting and removing her clothes became our main focus...

_[Me]-Joe Get her hooked up to a _a _Bair Hugger_

_She needs to be warmed_

_Start Warm IV Fluids_

_Hook her up to a heart and lung machine_

_Lets move we can't afford to waste time.._

_Strap her on the Stretcher we don't want to jar her any more_

The shouting was almost outdone by the music blasting from a over turned car all which was giving me a headache...Some song that was playing was soft and almost relaxed me but that could be lethal.

_**They shine a little brighter, they feel a little more  
They touch your life in ways no one has ever done before  
They love a little stronger, they live to give their best  
They make our lives so blest, so why do they go so soon?  
The ones with souls so beautiful  
I heard someone say-**_

There must be Borrowed Angels, here in this life  
They come along, into this world, and make this world bright  
But they can't stay forever  
Cause they're heaven sent  
And sometimes, heaven needs them back again  


Sitting there as we rode in silence to Cedar I held her hand as I talked to her . So many questions filled my mind who was this young lady? What was her name where did she go to school what was she thinking when they crashed? Would her family even know how to find her with no way for us to identify her? Her poor family thinking their kid was having a great time with friends when in reality ..She was...fighting for her life. Well this was a fight she was going to win if I had anything to say about it..

[Me]- _What's Our ETA?_

_[Brooke]- Were pulling up now_

_Prepare for transport_

The full view of the Ambulatory Dock came into view as we raced up the Trauma team of Doctors and RN's were waiting for us as the doors flung open. This is where the test would began.


	32. Chapter 32 Where Did She Go?

**Homeward Bound**

**Where Did She Go?**

**Tish's P.O.V**

[Me]- _Brandi have you heard from you sister's?_

_[Brandi]- No Mom not in awhile last I heard from miles was_

_At lunch she called to say she was running late with things._

_Haven't heard from Noah in a few days._

_[Me]- It's not like miles not to call can you try to call her she's _

_Really running late. _

_[Brandi] -Yea mom sure not a problem.. _

Sighing I took a deep breath as I tried to call her it was just like miles to get pissed and stay out later then she was told to . Why did she have to be so stubborn? Damn it miles just answer , straight to voice mail again. Sighing I shock my head ..

[Me]- _Want me to go look Mom?_

_[Mom]- Yes please..be careful babe _

_I don't need to be worrying about you_

_[Me]- I will Momma.._

_[Brasion]- It's raining she probably melted _

_[Me]- Don't crack yourself up too hard_

_Kid u ain't the next Chris Rock_

_[Brasion]- Says you fool but who are you?_

He did a little shuffle and twist as he brushed his hand over his chest swaying I rolled my eyes laughing as I grabbed my sweatshirt heading outside to my car as I called Codi to arrange our next band practice living in a family of entertainers it had it's perks but it also had it's downside everyone thought they were comedians.

**Taylor's P . O . V**

_[Me]- OMFG Selena where the hell are you?_

_You were suppose to be here forever ago.._

_[Jennifer]- I know right I am getting so pissed ever since her and Nick_

_Broke up she has been so scatterbrain _

_We need to be there in 20 minutes Tay do you just want to go?_

_[Me]- Well I guess I hate to leave her hanging_

_[Jennifer]- Like she's not leaving us hanging?_

_[Taylor]- Yea I guess I'll call her cell and tell her where we are at._

_[Jennifer]- Yea go ahead she won't answer anyway.._

Jennifer was fuming as we headed out but a small trickle of worry ran through my head and my shoulders no mater how pissed she was or how sad Selena always came on time and if not she called.

This wasn't like her what the hell had happened?

Driving to the venue all I could think about where was she? Where did she go without telling us? Traffic was even slower then usual it was backed up for miles so I took a shortcut thankful I knew the way around LA...

**Brandi**

I searched everywhere that I thought she could be called her friends and producers no one had seen her but everyone started calling people who I hadn't thought of I was surprised there wasn't a search party out for her half of La was on her trail. It was late raining hard and I was exhausted hungry and I had to pee so bad.. rubbing my eyes which burned. I sighed parking heading up to the studio where Mandy was rehearsing I hadn't been able to reach her since she had to shut her cell off but if anyone knew where she would be she would?

**Mandy p o v**

_[Karma] " One More time take it from the top_

_Casey hold Mandy a little bit tighter_

_Brooke I want you and mark to work more on the middle routine_

_[Me]- I need a drink man hold up I'm dying here_

Quickly I jogged over and swiped my bottle my lcd on my cell was flashing but Karma wasn't about to let me break to answer it. All night though I had been having this awful feeling that something was wrong..

_[Me]- I need to pee bad hold on guys_

Grabbing my cell I went into the bathroom dialing Miley's number it rang and rang as my worry grew where was she why wasn't she answering? She was normally glued to her damn phone ..finally her voice mail came on.

_Hey it's Miley I can't answer the phone_

_So leave a message_

Sighing I left another message and threw it in my pocket quickly using the bathroom. I exited my mind on where she was the whole time as I checked my messages Brandi had been hitting me up she was looking for Mi to great now my nervous were working overtime.

Why was Miley missing? Where did she go? Why wasn't she answering her phone? Brushing my hair back I tried to calm myself and tell myself she was fine and she just needed a break so she was just hiding out till she could deal.

" _Mandy?_

I screamed as I came into the studio to see Brandi rushing up to me she scared the shit out of me she was breathless and sweating . I could see the fear in her eyes as she came over. Her words rushed out all at once the fear and worry evident in her voice.

The fear penetrated through her even as she tried to control herself I felt my body going numb as my mind swiveled her words echoing in my brain miley ...missing..hours …

Suddenly her phone blared and she jumped trying to find it her bag tipped and everything fell out...

" _Hello..._

She cried into desperately...

" _Mom_...

_No..._

_They did..where_

_Is ..she.._

_Oh my god!_

_Yes she's here.._

_Were on our way.._

Her face had gone pale her body started to shake as she turned her eyes to me she was speechless as she stared I felt my whole insides turning becoming sick.

_{Me]- Brandi?_

_[Brandi]- It's Miles …_

_[Brooke]- What's wrong?_

_[Brandi] She's been in a accident..._

_It's bad we need to go.._

Everything inside of me was frozen despite the fact that my feet were moving commotion was ringing out everyone was worried telling me to go talking about rescheduling as I followed Brandi all I could think about was please let her be okay.

She had to be right? She was Miley teen queen Hannah Montana bad things could not happen to her...Celebrities didn't die..


	33. Chapter 33 Angel's Wings

**Homeward Bound**

**Emily's p o v**

**Angel's Wings**

" Stupid big brothers who in their right minds would ...dumb ...big... predictable ….

[Haley]- " _Emily would you stop pacing!_

[Me]- _Well maybe I would if I knew what time I was_

_Getting out of here _

_When we shouldn't be here from the start_

_[Haley]-I said I was sorry I didn't know_

_[Me voice rising]- You didn't know that when you_

_Stab a lemon with a knife that the juice come back_

_And squirt you in the eyes_

_No why would you ever think that I mean.._

_[Haley]- Emily go take a walk chill out your_

_Making my head hurt!_

_I already have a burning eye_

_[Me]- Fine but you better not make me miss my audition!_

I stomped off pissed for someone in his 20's he could sure do stupid things and of course I had to drive him to the hospital where we had to wait for 3 hours just so he could get checked out and I had a freaking audition in a hour.

Dodging Rn's who were busy rushing around from one emergency to the next I tried to calm myself down. Deep breath I had to make this audition on time . I needed to break free of Lily and start doing bigger roles and this one was perfect it combined singing and acting finally I would get to do what Miles has done for years...

_[RN] -Code ICE Code ICE ! Call Code ICE!_

What the heck was a Code ice? The curtains parted open and I froze blood was everywhere the girl was hooked to machines doctors and nurses were working frantically to save her.

_[Rn] -Were losing her BP'S dropping get the crash _

_Cart hurry_

The pa system came blaring on...

_Attention PICU Code ICE in E-ward_

_Code ICE in E-ward_

I swallowed hard my heart was beating so hard I thought it would be beat out of my chest …

I pressed myself against the wall so I wouldn't get crushed I hate hospitals, I mean hate them! Closing my eyes I tried to calm myself down ..singing to myself is what always works...

_I dream I have angel's wings.  
That fly all over town in the sky.  
This world used to bring me down until now.  
I fly._

I dream I sleep upon the clouds.  
So warm as I wrap the cotton blanket around.  
This world couldn't really bring me down now.  
Cause I fly.  


I pretended I was singing to her that I was trying to give her some comfort in her toughest hour...

_And you have made my life.  
Yes, you and I will never die._

I dream Jesus takes me to the Father.  
And I kneel before Him with humble heart.  
This world doesn't bring me down anymore.  
Cause I fly.

And He has made my life.  
Yes, He gave me, you and I.  
Is there more I could ask for?  
Is there something I'm missing?  
Why doesn't everyone feel the same as me?

Is there something I'm blessed for?  
What am I missing?

Cause I dream I have angel's wings.  
And I fly all over town in the sky.  
This world used to bring me down until now.  
I fly fly fly fly fly.  
I fly fly fly fly fly.  
fly fly fly fly.

The girls voice broke through my thoughts as I heard her screaming...

_Demi, Demi!_

_Don't let me die please _

_I don't want to die!_

_Don't let me Die!_

The room erupted as the personals split to grab machines . I saw her for the first time clearly my breath caught in my throat as I chocked out a sob her eyes bore into mine...they say when you look are about to die everything flashes before your eyes ...looking into her eyes I saw it all as if it was my life ending

every memory we shared every laughter, every tear...

**Taylor pov**

" _[Me]- When are we going to know something?_

_It's been ages..._

_[Maria]-I'm sure the doctors are doing everything they can_

_We just need to be patient_

_[Me]- I'm not good at that !_

_[Jennifer]- Yea we can see that..._

_Your making me scared just stop.._

_[Me]- I'm trying but for god sakes can't they just give us a update?_

_Were Dying out here!_

_[Maria]- Girls settle down I know your scared_

_We all are..._

_But this won't help you need to band together for the girls sake..._

I sighed rubbing my hands over my arms this was not happening it couldn't be not our Lena...my mind was still revealing from the moments leading up to this Jennifer and I waiting getting mad and going without her everyone asking where she was and us making up a cover story. To the moment we got the phone call ..everything was a blur after that us racing here seeing the ambulance pull up seeing our Lena on the bed so pale so still so bloody so broken and helpless attached to machines doing her breathing for her IV's giving her fluids her eyes so closed ..those eyes that are always so full of light and love and laughter..damn it they couldn't be shut forever could they?

I felt tired suddenly so heavy ..the clock was still moving but I felt as if I was frozen..I looked around we were in a private waiting area..we had a full on buffet set up but who cared about food? A sob caught my attention. Looking over to my left I saw Miley's family sitting still her parents and older sister Brandi praying ...Mandy was curled up n the plastic chair wrapped in a blanket... Noah was sitting away from them all her eyes had this haunted look in them. She was crying softly but steady.. Brasion and Trace were handling phone calls they were all so quite. I almost forgot they were here. Unlike Us Selena's friends we were as loud as her always laughing Demi's family was the same way...

A loud banging startled me Noah shut up as Emily came flying out tears flowing down her face as her body was shaking...her eyes looked at all of us darting between Mi's family..before settling on us...

_[Emily]- Oh god..it..can't.._

_Oh god it is.._

_No..._

_[Tish]- Emily what is it? _

_Did you see Mi?_

_[Jennifer] -Selena did you see.._

She looked at us..covering her mouth as she shock harder...

[Emily]- _I'm Sor..So..sorr..y.._

_She's..Oh God No she's dead..._

_Why God why!_

She collapsed on the ground I felt sick my stomach leaped to my throat clogging me..my throat went dry my eyes over flowed as I heard Jennifer gasp and start to scream...Everything started to go black..No Selena couldn't be No...she just...

She couldn't be dead...

**Angel's Wings by Marisa (Album: East of Everything) **


	34. Chapter 34 Passing Through

**Homeward Bound**

**Passing Through**

Demi's p o v

Where was I ? Bright lights burned my eyes my mouth felt dry I wanted a drink so bad...my head was pounding. Where was everyone? I tried to turn but my body was stiff sore and constricted ..I couldn't see past my surroundings but I could hear shouting lots of it angry desperate shouting..I couldn't make out every word but I heard bits and pieces code..shock..dropping...stat..it all sounded so familiar but it wasn't this wasn't my life. So where was I? Why was my chest hurting? I could feel myself starting to freak where was Selena? She needed me I could feel it we had this strange telepathic connection like twins I guess. Time was growing more desperate I could feel her slipping away. I needed to get to her..damn it why wouldn't they let me out? I tried to struggle free but I was held down tight and every movement made the pain twice as hard. Which made breathing even more difficult . I was starting to hyperventilate. I heard screaming was it Lena? It sounded so familiar please god spare Lena she didn't deserve to die …. pain was gripping me. I had to squeeze the railing to keep from screaming if they knew I was in pain they would never let me go to get to her...Mom must be punishing me but what did I do? Where was I ? my head was hurting so bad it was making me dizzy I was trying so hard to figure out where I was...

_[Me]-Lena! Selena where are you baby?_

_I'm coming! _

_[Mom]-Demi Demi baby calm down_

_[Me]- Mom? Mom where am I?_

_Where's Selena!_

In seconds mom's hands were holding me down I looked around wildly seeing my mom her husband and my sisters Dallas and Madison who were at my side holding my hands and stroking my face...talking to me Dallas was whispering for me to be calm and telling me she loved me and she would check on Selena...Mom was asking me if I remembered what had happened? I swallowed I couldn't think everything was fuzzy just a big blur behind so many visions it was all jammed together all these colors . I kept trying , I remembered going out to dinner,I remembered miles and Lena arguing...I remembered driving...then everything goes black..I groaned banging my fist in frustrations. Dallas was stroking my hair..

_[Dallas] -Dems Calm down baby it's okay.._

_You Don't have to remember right now.._

_[Me]- Where's Lena? _

_I need to see Lena!_

I tried to get up and before I knew it there was a Doctor and two nurses on me holding me down. I panicked starting to scream hit and kick I was so angry. I didn't stop from the intense pain shooting through my body... nothing mattered just getting to Selena I could feel her pain and fear...I was gasping and sobbing... Why wouldn't they let me see her where was she? How bad was she hurt? I felt a wave of coldness pass me through as I felt a sudden prick which made me scream. I tried hitting them but I suddenly felt weak everything became a big blur again ..I felt weaker and weaker but a feeling of cold dread over came me it wasn't just a physical weakness that had left me drained it was a emotional and spiritual. I felt my connection with Lena fading passing through but I knew she needed me that much I felt to the depths of my soul.


	35. Chapter 35 Dear Time

**Homeward Bound**

**Dear Time**

**Jen's p o v**

Ever since I was a little kid I have always measured things in Metaphysics it's a funny word but it's relevant. What is it exactly? How do you define it? Traditionally, metaphysics attempts to answer two basic questions in the broadest possible terms:

"What is there?"

"What is it like?"

It's a way to define the fundamental notions by which people understand the world, including existence, the definition of object, property, space, time, causality, and possibility. Growing up with a mom who was a science and math teacher and a dad who was a football coach. I learned to judge things in distance and reason. If you had 30 minutes to get from point a to point b and it was 40 miles how would you accomplish this? They taught me to think before I leaped that for every reaction there was a opposite reaction. I grew up thinking life could always be balanced out as long as you thought about it as a math or science formula. Time wasn't just here and gone there was a number and a hour to measure it all. You were the controller of it if you suddenly woke up one day and it was gone it was because you let it slip away it didn't just disappear one day. It posses many questions ..existence? What is it? Why are we here what purpose can we serve? Some of us may never know for some it's okay they accept it and just live for that moment others try endlessly to come up with a reason to the why.. never stopping to think that maybe the why isn't meant to be discovered we can't be measured through the objects that we have the property we own. Life isn't about seeing every country or attraction people think if you have money you can be so much happier cause you can go more places cover more space. The possibilities are extravagant. My sister thinks we are lucky that our parents taught us to think practical.

I use to hate it thinking it hindered me ever since I was a kid. I dreamed of dancing on The Broadway stage with the lights shining on me but in a small town like we were from it was a impossible dream. One everybody laughed at me for but I didn't quit. I kept training and I kept dreaming all the while planning. I saved money ,I did research and I plotted just like they taught me. Then I moved out here to La and everything went to hell. I stopped seeing things through my parents eyes , I let La take over my mind. I became my own person, I was proud of who I was even though I could see the disappointment in my parents eyes when I told them about the ways of La.

Now standing here in the Er I wish I could be that little girl again who use to run to momma's arms and have her rock me to the bad dreams went away to be 8 and squatting over the kitchen table with my dad working on a plan for attack. To see things innocently through the eyes of a child who thought that if you planned out everything that nothing could destroy your destiny. That time was yours to control to have to hold that if you let it slip by that it was your fault...I squeezed the tears that were threatening to fall back but my throat was tightening and I was chocking my whole body was shaking . I felt Ashlee wrap her arms around me as my boyfriend Ryan placed his arm around my midsection. I tried to stay strong but her words ripped me apart..

_[Emily]- __I'm Sor..So..sorr..y.._

_She's..Oh God No she's dead..._

_Why God why!_

She fell into arms as I felt my legs start to give...I heard gasps and sniffling ..then I saw her eyes as Taylor started to sob she turned to us pushing herself up and came over to us Miley's mom broke down and started to scream as Emily took her hands shaking her head..my world collapsed someone started to scream that someone was me...as I heard her mutter...

_[Emily]- I'm sorry Tish I'm sorry_

_It's Miley.._

_Miley's ..She's..._

Her voice dropped as our jaws dropped ..

_Miley's dead... _

My parents were wrong you can't control time cause when I heard those words time seized to exist for me. Everything went black and I lost a huge part of my life...Jen Talarica was strong she was feisty she always knew what life was going to throw at her..but now? My best friend was dead...My world went black.


	36. Chapter 36 If I Die Young

**Homeward Bound**

**Noah's p o v**

" Dead" the word rung through my head no she couldn't be not my vibrant smiley, gorgeous , sweet sister. She was lying Emily was just confused there was so much happening back there how could she know for sure? I swallowed as I closed my eyes if I just pretended I didn't hear then maybe it wouldn't be true.

Curling my knees up I lowered my head as memories poured in..

**7 hours earlier **

I had to get away those girls were too much they made my life a living hell. They thought they were so cute with their comments and snickers but they weren't they were nothing but bullies. Peddling as fast as I could I flew down the paths. I made no time in getting home which I discovered was a mistake mom and dad were fighting again. I rolled my eyes grabbing a orange as I ran upstairs to change and dump my book bag grabbing my guitar . They barely noticed as I went back out mom yelled for me not to ride far as she was screaming at my dad that he never cared for her that she was just a means to a bigger career and he yelled back that she had no control over us kids she was screaming he had no right to criticize her when he was never home. I groaned would it ever end?

There was something therapeutic about riding for me as the wind ripped through my hair and my legs pumped till they were sore. My i-pod blasting music I closed my eyes taking my hands off the railings as I coasted down the hill yea not so smart I know but I was in control I had done it hundreds of times.

I watched as houses and streets went away and I was coasting along the beach front. The ocean breeze blowing through my hair. I loved the smell of the ocean I some how rode miles and miles from home within time that I didn't even know had passed I found myself at the Santa Monica Pier locking my bike up. I went for a walk people were all over even for a weekday it was packed and I loved it .

Anything to take my mind off school Miley my parents . I chose a location that wasn't being used as my spot between the food pier and the beach sighing a took a breath as I started strumming my cords, I didn't have anything in mind to sing right away so I just started playing it must have been a good choice cause people started to crowd around and clap someone a teenage girl with more piercings then I could count requested If I Die Young so I strummed it out and started it's funny how I could have the weight of the world on my shoulders but once I stated to play nothing mattered anymore . I just let the music overtake me and everything else melted away.

**"If I Die Young"**

_If I die young, bury me in satin  
Lay me down on a, bed of roses  
Sink me in the river, at dawn  
Send me away with the words of a love song_

Uh oh, uh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother  
_She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and  
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no  
__Ain't even Grey, but she buries her baby_

The sharp knife of a short life, well  
I've had, just enough time

If I die young, bury me in satin  
Lay me down on a, bed of roses  
Sink me in the river, at dawn  
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well  
I've had, just enough time

And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom  
I'm as green as the ring on my little, cold finger, I've  
Never known the lovin' of a man  
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, there's a  
Boy here in town who says he'll love me forever,  
Who would have thought forever could be severed by  
The sharp knife of a short life, well,  
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls  
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar  
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner  
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'  
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'

If I die young, bury me in satin  
Lay me down on a, bed of roses  
Sink me in the river, at dawn  
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh (uh, oh)  
The ballad of a dove (uh, oh)  
Go with peace and love  
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket  
Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well  
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls 

When I sing I close my eyes it relaxes me as I play my heart out by the time I reached the end of the song and looked up there was a huge crowd all swaying and clapping to my music. I blushed amazed that so many people liked my music. Bowing I was stunned to see that people had left me money in my case. I wasn't doing it for money I was just trying to get exposure it had worked for my idol Justin why not me? I thanked everyone and did more songs but there was something about that song that got to me.

When I stated to feel cold I packed up amazed that so much time had passed by. People were scares now a few joggers a few people on the beach but most of the crowd had gone home to eat it would be packed again in a few hours but for now it was still just the ocean breeze. I started home but suddenly I didn't want to go home so I peddled the highway the long version it wasn't like anyone would care Mom and Dad were probably still fighting. Besides this gave me time to think I had a talent show coming up maybe I should re write that song and do my own version. I peddled hard it was dark now and raining making it hard to see as I rode to the music. Who could I get to help me? Miles was always busy and so was Brandi maybe Taylor would help she was amazing . I was lost in thought and I didn't see the headlights till it was right on me. I had almost no time to avoid it I felt my legs skid out as the car swerved to miss me brakes screeched as I flew through the air. Hard concrete met my delicate face as my knees brushed against stones my mouth was invaded with yucky dirt. I spit and coughed as the sickening sounds of metal upon metal and glass shattering filled my ears. I was shaking as it went silent

I didn't want to look I just grabbed my bike and ran chocking on dirt and tears which threatened to burn my eyes and throat aw man mom was going to flip if she found out. If she found out right? She didn't have to I just had to really put my acting skills to a test. I collapsed against a tree having escaped. I should go back I should help. I should call 911 but I was frozen my hands shaking as the tears poured down. Screams were now replacing the eerie silence I heard people shouting to call 911..someone would do it I was off the hook. Sighing I leaned back as I sunk down . I couldn't look it would make it to real. The rain was really coming down hard now I was freezing outside as I was shaking but I didn't want to move I couldn't my body felt so heavy so sore. I wasn't even sure how much time had passed I just remember leaning back and closing my eyes trying to get my breathing under control as I felt the dizziness take over. Everything was becoming a blur I thought I heard a scream I knew but I wasn't sure

Lights were all around when I reopened my eyes sirens that's what they were I slowly moved I was less sore and the dizziness was better cracking my neck . I looked around it was complete madness Firefighters , Police men and Women EMT Personal. Yellow cross tape was being placed around Bodies were thrown across the highway like some kind of human twister game blood smeared the black tar a school bus was tossed aside like a game piece no one wanted. Someone's car was twisted around a tree , I heard a commotion they had found someone I heard screams I swore I knew the voices but I couldn't right? What were the chances? I swollen against the rising fear as I saw them lift the person up on a stretcher. I heard gasps from the on lookers sick freaks I thought. Then I saw the light blond hair the blood pouring from her leg I heard the screams I saw her face..Demi..it was Demi she was limping up behind them..that had to mean..wait ..it couldn't be ...Selena? No the person on the stretcher it couldn't be...I found strength I didn't know I had and ran forward... I tripped and stumbled ate rock and dirt but got up and ran again till I could see better and hear more then I wanted.. I saw her face behind the masks her eyes were closed her face deathly pale blood smeared her head. She wasn't moving but I saw her beautiful face the one that had read me countless bedtime stories who had made me laugh when I was down.

The one who taught me how to do dance moves that I was too embarrassed to ask Miles the one who assured me that no matter what happened between her Miles And Nick she would always be there for me...it was her ..Selena was dying on that stretcher because of me. I heard the EMT's saying they were losing her she was fading. I saw Demi's legs give out as she tried to say something they didn't know what she was telling them but I read her lips..Mi..she was saying Mi...as in Miley...Why would she say my sister's name? Unless she was trying to tell them..something..but what? That Miley was out there somewhere? No she couldn't be? Her and Selena were fighting why would she be with them? Demi had always kept them separate when they were fighting. No! My sister wasn't out there somewhere in the dirt and rain ..No...then I saw him he was stumbling at looked shocked as he was cuffed no freaking way...he couldn't he just couldn't be the reason...

_[Emt]-Hey You little girl _

I froze she was pointing at me damn no she couldn't get to me mom would flip I took off running. I heard her chasing me but I was fast when I needed to be I grabbed my bike and hauled myself out of there leaving it all behind me.

Breathless I fell against a tree I couldn't run anymore my legs simply refused to go any further. The rain had become a downpour soaking me through and through but I didn't care. What was the point in caring when Selena was more then likely dead because of me? So many thought were swirling through my head.

_[Frankie]- Noah , Noah answer me _

_Noah earth to Noah..._

**Frankie's p o v**

What the hell was with her? I had been looking for her for hours ever since she took off. Her parents hadn't stopped fighting enough to answer me when I went by. Our other friends hadn't seen her..so I had recruited Maddie and Jayde to come help me find her we had been all over town and it was late I knew mom would be blowing up my cell so I had shut it off. Maddie was getting worried she hadn't heard from Demi either and she was suppose to be home hours ago. I had a huge lump in my throat but I kept telling myself it would be okay maybe Noah was with them and she had shut off her phone.

_[Maddie]- She's over here guys!_

I saw her hunched into a corner knees up to her chest her head hung low as she was curled up into a tight ball in Selena's yard. We ran over what was wrong she wouldn't answer, I knew the girls had been at her all day but what the heck had gotten to her so bad? She usual took it in stride . I kept calling to her we all did...Finally Maddie picked up her chin and looked her in the eyes as we squatted in front of her. A car squeaked to a stop almost missing the half hidden stop sign as people usually do on this street stupid careless drivers their going to get someone killed someday she jumped snapping her out of her trance she locked eyes with Maddie and almost started to cry as I kept trying to find out what was wrong...she seemed frozen like she wanted to talk but couldn't...Maddie opened her mouth to speak just as a car skidded to stop in front of us the same one that had almost flew past the stop sign had reversed.

Dallas and Joe jumped out calling to us frantically...

[Joe]- _Thank god we found you guys!_

_We need to go_

_[Me]- Where?_

_[Dallas]- The hospital there's been a accident_

Noah seemed to go pale as I felt her start to shake, I looked at her she avoided my eyes.

_[Jayde]- What accident?_

_[Dallas]- Maddie we have to go it's Demi and Selena _

_They were in a head on collision we need to move.._

The world froze for me Selena was in a accident? Oh snap Nick was going to flip he loved her so much. Joe shock his head as we all went to the car..

[Joe]- _ Dad just texted me he wants us home now!_

_I think Nick is freaking out we need to go will meet you at the hospital_

Noah turned to me...suddenly she wrapped her arms around me.

_[Noah]- Don't leave me Frankie please stay_

Why was she being so clingy? I held her for a moment.

[Me]-_I have to go but I promise I'll be there as soon as I can_

_Go with Maddie Noie_

Maddie took her hand I could see the panic in her eyes she was probably worried sick about Demi and Selena. I watched as they took off this feeling of dread invading me that I couldn't shake off.

By the time we made it home my legs were on fire all I could think about was poor Nick. He was going to be devastated.

I just couldn't believe she had been in a accident my mind kept going to how happy she was when Nick asked her to marry him she was so gorgeous so sweet. I was going to be so happy to have her as a sister in law she was going to be awesome just like Dani. It was such a shock she was hurt but it couldn't be too bad could it? I mean I hadn't seen any coverage on it no reporters were outside yet, Joe stopped as we approached our property more fans? I thought he did love to pose instead I looked up to see a moving van in our driveway what the hell?

We both ran faster then we had in a long time...mom ran over to us...

_[Mom]- Thank god it's about time!_

_[Joe]- What's going on?_

_[Mom]- You booked a world tour guys we leave today!_

_Dad and nick are already overseas waiting for us!_

_They left a few hours ago we couldn't get a hold of you!_

_Kevin's on his way.._

_[Me]- But mom..._

Joe held his hand up to me to silence me I saw it in his eyes this was our chance to save our career and he wasn't going to let anyone stop it. I was boiling mad what was I suppose to do keep quite protect the family business? Or Tell Nick who would cancel the tour to be by her side when it may just be a minor injury? I sighed there wasn't anything I could do now I mean he wasn't here I swallowed I would just have to wait and see. Noah was going to be mad but she would understand right? I mean she came from a show business family to she knew what it was like. I went upstairs to pack praying Selena and Demi would be alright.


	37. Chapter 37 Coma

**Homeward Bound **

**Coma **

**Demi's p o v**

3 months it had been 3 months since the accident Miley was buried Selena was in a coma, I was losing it. I just couldn't believe it the media was going crazy Justin was out on bail awaiting trail. Memories were constantly haunting me no matter where I turn. I see Miley, I hear her laughing I see her smile it killed me she should be here with us not buried ...I sat here day after day holding Selena's hand praying she would wake up brushing her hair washing her up. Most of bruises had faded she was healing everywhere her ankle after 3 surgeries was on the mend but doctors couldn't say if she would ever be able to dance on it again my heart was breaking dance was half her life half our careers but more importantly her brain was still swollen. I watched her as she lay still machines helping her to breath.

Her chest rising and fallen not on her own but with the aide of metal and plastic. Tears leaked out when would things be normal again? That's right never even when she woke up which I refused to believe she wouldn't .Miley was forever gone and nothing could take that away. Silently I played with her hair talking to her..remembering how it felt to wake up from the accident and hear the news that she was in a coma...I still felt it like yesterday...

Maddie was holding my hand as Mom and my step dad were talking to the doctor Dallas was by my right side. She was crying softly as I opened my eyes...it had been two days since the accident they started crying and hugging me when they saw me awake. I was confused I had no idea where I was why I was there. The doctors kept pumping me for information. I was getting scared and angry mom fought them off.

It took me two more days till I was able to recall the accident it came back slowly in pieces.. the police were all over me trying to get information out of me making my head hurt. The nightmares are what did it though while my mind was foggy at best when I was awake but at night they recalled the events in terrible agonizing details. I would wake up sweating and sick to my stomach. They wouldn't tell me any info on Selena or Miley. I wasn't allowed to watch the news or have the radio on.. it infuriated me to no end. Finally one day when Dallas was in the bathroom I got up and went out on my own. I was fairly lucky a busted knee cap a broken ankle that had almost had to be amputated but was saved a broken rib and a concussion but other then that I was okay just sore. It was slow getting up I had only been up with help before this but I was determined to get up and try. I made it past the room holding onto the wall, Down the hall no one thought twice about a patient being up and movable. I went to the information desk, but they refused to give me anything without a conformation number ...I knew I should of thought about that which burned me up. I was desperate I had to find out something..finally I asked to use the phone and called Jennifer..she was almost hysterical when she heard my voice. She told me to meet her in the lobby so I wasted no time rushing down there by now Dallas had to have seen me missing. I had no idea how to get to the lobby so I winged it following signs and acting like I had a clue. Jennifer ran to me almost knocking me over we were both crying and holding each other, once we sat down, I saw her face she was pale no makeup on it looked like she had been crying. I swallowed taking her hand begging her to please tell me what had happened? She looked away I could tell she was hesitant to say anything but I kept begging till the point where I was almost crying, she held me and started to tell me just as Dallas came running in breathless...telling her to stop ..I whirled around pissed off...

_[Me]- Don't tell her to stop!_

_I need to know!_

_Their my best friends! _

_Why won't someone tell me!_

_I need to know Dammit!_

_What happened to Selena!_

_Where's Miley!_

_Who hit us!_

Dallas looked like she had been slapped , for a moment I almost felt bad I knew she was only doing what she was told but damn it I was 18. I deserved to know, she swallowed and took my hand I tried to resist but she nodded at me and Jennifer who lead the way ..way to where I had no clue but I had a feeling she was cracking and telling me what I needed to know.

We went upstairs to the 8th floor I read the signs as we passed pediatrics, poor kids I thought Rehab Ortho, outpatient Pediatric therapy ...people were buzzing kids waiting in the halls til they can get into their appointments, transportation wheeling kids to and from they were so cute . I smiled at some and stopped to give a autograph to a few who knew who I was. Nurses and doctors scurrying we went further down the noise level decreased drastically. I looked at Dallas her eyes were far away looking past me Jenn was sniffling again as we got closer to a locked unit.

[Me]-_Why are we here? _

_In Front of.._

I looked around to spot the unit PMICU..what was that?

[Jennifer]- _Pediatrics Medical Intensive Care Unit _

[Me]-_Who's there? _

I closed my eyes swallowing the lump in my throat it was hard and gagged me did I want to know?

[Jennifer]- _Selena honey Selena's there_

_She's in a coma_

It was like a ringing far off I heard her name but my brain didn't want to process it not my Lena .I looked at them tears overflowing they squeezed my hands nodding Jenn started crying harder as they lead me inside, I went slowly my legs felt heavy it was quieter in here no one was rushing around there was no sense of urgency. The unit was filled with the steady beeps of monitors and hissing. A house keeper was mopping the floor Rn's were at the station filling out paper work a monitor tech was watching the 12 little TV's that showed each room as she recorded stats. Jenn lead the way to the unit Secretary who she talked to before she took my hand and lead me to cubical 3 we stood outside. I swallowed against the rising panic as I felt my heart beat quicken, She brushed my hair back and told me calmly that she was going to look like she was asleep. That I could talk to her and she could probably hear me she just couldn't respond . I prepared myself as I went inside Selena was laying in the bed she looked so small her black hair was pulled up above her head which was covered in a white bandage machines covered her whole body wires propped from her chest her head was turned to the left she was on a vent and a tube was sticking out of her nose, her eyes were closed swollen ...her face was puffy and pale , her arms and legs were covered in deep purple bruises her one leg in a cast from her ankle to her knee. I gasped as I covered my mouth Jenn held me on one side Dallas the other my knees felt like they would give out. They helped me to sit down, as I took Selena's right hand which was bruised and swollen..

_[Me]- What's wrong with her?_

_How Long has she been in this coma?_

_How long will she be in it?_

Dallas started to tell me ..

_[Dallas]- Selena Suffered a Intracranial Subdural Hematoma_

_She had to have surgery to relive pressure _

_She was in cardiac arrest twice_

_She never really regained __consciousness __after the accident_

_She injured her leg and ankle as you can see_

_They got her bleeding to stop_

_But her Brain swelled and she's not responding to _

_Treatment her lungs collapsed three times she's devolved pneumonia_

_She slipped into a stage 2 coma _

_[Me]- What's that mean?_

I gripped her hand squeezing it tight.

[Jennifer]-_ It means she's responding to _

_Painful stimuli from the nurses when they test her eyes_

_She's making Incomprehensible sounds so she can speak_

_We just can't understand what she is saying but it's better then_

_Not being able to make any sounds_

_When they test her motor skills she _

_Responds to painful stimuli but she can't move by herself without being_

_Prompted to._

_They don't know how long she'll be like this _

_But the longer she is the less chance of a full recovery.._

_[Me]- Where's Miles? _

No one wanted to respond I knew then as soon as Jenn turned away that I didn't need to hear it out loud. I could sense it she was gone. I let the tears slide down as I held Selena's hand tighter begging her not to leave me. She made no response she just lay there the hissing filling the room. I swore I would protect her and never let anyone hurt her ever again.

Dallas made me go to my room then I didn't want to leave but I knew I had to ...the police were there wanting to question me on the accident. They just wouldn't stop wanting to know if Selena had been drinking when she was driving. Had she been distracted was she talking? Did she take her eyes off the road? Was she texting? I answered as best as I could.. No she hadn't been drinking...No she wasn't distracted, No she never took her eyes off the road..No she wasn't texting...

Okay so I lied ….to the police yea I know not so bright but I didn't care ...Miley was dead Selena was in a coma what was it going to hurt? The damage had been done. I was exhausted so after they left I sent Dallas and Jenn to go get coffee, once they were gone...I pulled Selena's cell out of my bag...I looked at the last message sent …

1:33 am Sepetember 11th 2010

_**Nick I miss you **_

_**We need to talk! **_

_**I am so sorry **_

_**Call me**_

1:33 am the accident happened at 1:33 am Selena had been texting nick when she lost control of the SUV while avoiding the paparazzi. Tears slide down my face as I looked around no one was around my fingers shock but I cleared her sent box erasing any proof she had been using her phone. Then I checked her in box no one had texted her around that time but I deleted them all anyway to make it look better. Sighing as I left out my breath I didn't know I was holding in I put the phone deep into my purse and went to sleep.


	38. Chapter 38 I Was Born To Be Somebody

**Homeward Bound**

**I Was Born To Be Somebody**

**Demi's p o v**

Day after day I sat and talked to her prayed she would wake up If it was up to me I would never leave but it wasn't of course when is my life ever my own?

Mom was on the war path scared that I was going to be sacred for life..gee imagine that? Being in a Fatal Car accident that claimed the life of one best friend left my other in critical condition and left 10 other dead, 16 others injured oh and millions of heartbroken fans..yea no worries mom I was fine. She refused to let me stay night after night the way I had for the first 6 weeks she made me go home to my empty house. Which she thought would be good for me you know have some Independence she had no idea that Selena and I had been planning to sell her house so she could move in with me..she had no idea how many times we stayed up planning and talking ..she had no way of knowing that every time I stepped inside I was hit in the face but one flashback or another. Tears poured down my face as I went room to room each lined with pictures of us from award shows to school photo's to set shoots..to just us in our pj's acting goofy. Mom was determined that I come out of this and still have a career. What she didn't realize was that I just didn't care anymore. All I wanted was impossible I wanted to change back time and pay attention instead of texting Tiffany . I should have been paying attention to Lena she wasn't the most experienced driver she only had her license for a few months, she was careful but nervous at best plus she was fighting with Miles..why did I let her take the keys even though she begged me pleading saying she just needed to let off steam. Why did I give in?

Laying down on my bed I closed my eyes clutching a picture of her and I at the Kids Pick Awards KPA's as we call them. She was grinning ear to ear her arm over my shoulders as we held up our statues she had won best actress in TV Comedy. I had won for best breakout star..it was 2 years ago...we were so happy so proud. Her arm was held up high her eyes shining bright, my head was close to her shoulder. Tears fell as I thought back to how young we were how many dreams we had..I remember Nick watching her as he escorted miles to a interview how Lena had looked at him longingly..he winked at her. She had turned to me whispering that she was going to make Nick her future husband..she was so close to that dream..so close...

Mom wanted me to go back to work my dad tried to tell her I wasn't ready..Disney wanted to make me a poster child for kids everywhere to over come adversity. I wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out. Everyone kept telling me how sorry they were I was so sick of hearing that damn word..sorry didn't bring back Miley or Wake Lena up did it?

I went back to the set I dealt with the the interviews camera's shoved in my face personal questions asked over and over.. I couldn't take it I always hated this part of the spotlight Selena was always the strong one...at 18 they push you to work longer hours from 5 in the morning till 10 at night I use to dread it thinking I would never get any sleep now I dreaded going home to the nightmares...after work I went by to see Lena till visiting hours ended at 12pm then I went to the clubs. That's where I met Ana she helped me in so many ways..I didn't even know I needed Ana till I was dependent on her she was tall and slender she always looked perfect she was a regular at The Roxy everyone knew her so I started hanging with her..she was sweet and she didn't judge me she didn't care who I was...we had plenty to laugh about..I had my first drink with her she promised it would take the edge off..she was right..Soon I was drinking every night..4 or 6 , 10...20 we would get so stinking drunk we would just laugh our butts off, then we would dance so hard and so fast we would be drowning in sweat..when I was done I would sneak into the hospital and see Lena it hurt to see her like that..I started drinking more and more as the guilt ate at me. I was alive I was healthy ..Selena was trapped fighting to get out...Miley she was trapped in death...

Ana gave me another way out..she showed me how she dealt with pain. Her name was sliver and she slide across my wrist nicely.

I wasn't proud of who I was becoming but how else did anyone expect me to deal? Disney held me to this higher power the fans all looked up to me my cast mates depended on me..

" _Lena what should I do?_

_I need you baby..please wake up_

_I know I should keep going_

_For you for miles for our fans_

_I know this is what I use to love_

_But now I just feel so empty..._

_You Shouldn't Dems _

_This is what you were born to do_

_Your a natural babe don't let the haters scare you_

_[Me]-Lena? Oh my god Lena your..._

I looked up expecting to see her eyes open and to hear my best friends voice...instead I was met with her eyes shut and only the hiss of the bi-pass machine. I felt the tears slide down damn it I was just imagining her saying it...

Wiping the tears away I stood up squeezing her hands...

_I meant it Demi it's your dreams _

_It's reality it's what we were born to be_

_Were all born to be somebody_

_Some of us are just meant for Greatness_

_You one of them.._

I spun..

_[me]-Justin!_

My blood boiled he stood there with that cocky grin eyes shining...as he shrugged...he couldn't be stupid enough to show up here could he?


	39. Chapter 39 Born To Be

**Homeward Bound**

**Born To Be**

**Justin's p o v**

_This life can kick you around (woah)  
This world can make you feel small (woah)  
They will not keep me down (woah)  
I was born to stand tall  
I'm going all the way  
I can feel it  
I believe it  
I'm here  
I'm here to stay  
I was born to be somebody  
Ain't nothin' that's ever gonna stop me  
I light up the sky like lightening  
I gonna rise above  
Show em what I'm made of  
I was born to be somebody  
I was born to be  
And this world will belong to me _

I was sitting there in my cell looking at the world go by outside how did I end up here? In solitude confinement for my own protection. They were so worried about the fans attacking me and trying to kill me. About inmates going after me...but everyone was so worried for all the wrong reasons..what worried me was that no one was attacking me they were praising me ... Justin's a bad boy now he has street cred. He made a mistake he's not perfect. Girls were writing to me in prison saying how they looked up to me and were starting petitions to free me because they knew I was sorry and that it was just one mistake.. no one seemed to get that I didn't want them to look up to me...why should they? I killed people sure it was a accident but it was because of a stupid mistake... one I can't take back no matter how hard I wish. Believe me I wish with everything in me that I could...

[Guard]- _Beeper Let's go it's time for your arraignment_

The Guards came into my cell with the shackles and the handcuffs . I was placed against the wall they searched me patted me down and scanned me then I was shackled like I was some kind of murderer..wait I am... and my hands were cuffed...they lead me to the prison holding cell to await being called. I couldn't bare to see my mom's face when she saw me in my prison jumpsuit. She had such high hopes for me how could I let her down like this?

I shock my head as the memories of that night came back my friends pressuring me into taking the first drink. I was out with a bunch of the artiest from the label Jay-nee who is this hot smoking 16 year old from Detroit who's about to blow up the rap scene , Kyle Jini who's 17 and from Atlanta and is working on his album...Forest Davis who's the lead singer in Usher's new group called 95 Through 4eva...it's Forest Niki Jackson ,Sarah Henderson and Rage Keller...we were out at Key west a hot club in west Hollywood ..Rage brought out some weed. Niki brought out the alcohol and Usher just laughed if he didn't care. I thought why not a drink here or there wouldn't hurt it's not like the paparazzi could see us we were in a private room no one could see. The weed had already begun to work through me and I was starting to see so many things. I hadn't seen before like the way this girls eyes burned through me how deep of a blue they were didn't even know her name there were so many groupies there it was hard to keep straight. Sarah was laughing as she handed me a beer and wrapped her arms around me she was already plastered ..they were shouting and celebrating over a deal they had made...they were about to blow it up on the charts, everything was in their hands I knew what that felt like. I was there just a few years ago I remember how happy I was then..how mom and I had celebrated ...so I was more then ready to help hem celebrate ...they didn't hold back supplying us on Alcohol either..the music was pumped up high we were dancing and laughing. I felt a girl who was probably 16 or 17 but made herself up to look 20ish..wrap her arms around my waist so I gave in . I am a sucker for the ladies after all. I grinded closer to her as we were check to check hip to hip her breasts pressed against my chest. I held her close smelling her sweet jasmine scent as we let the music and booze carry us away.

_Ready for one chance_

_This our last dance_

_My one chance _

_Stick em up _

_Feel the wind_

_Lookin in your eyes_

_This is it_

_I feel it _

_Our last chance_

_Our last dance_

_I kiss you tonight_

Niki's voice blared out as I pulled her to me . I didn't know her name but I kissed her...our lips smashed together holding for minutes into minutes till I needed air I brought her hands up to my chest as I felt her body entangled with mine. She tasted like blueberries and sugar and I wanted more it was different then Selena who always had the latest fashions and the best makeup the most expensive perfume. This girl didn't seem to care about that ...she just wanted one thing ..with some weed and 6 or 7 beers in me I was more then ready to give it to her...

I was treated like a hero by the guys when we got down Kyle held my hand up toasting to me the guys were hooting and slapping my back. I was cocky I was young and I felt on top of the world..so when Forest tossed me the keys and told me to go wild . I laughed I told him I was born wild...we speed through the streets it was a blur. I remember the girls laughing calling out my name as the wind ripped through my hair the speed made me feel like I was invincible...she was kissing my neck her hands caressing me down there as I groaned Niki was making out with her boyfriend in the backseat...I could hear her moans which were arousing me ... the music was blasting Sarah , Jay-nee and Rage were having a battle of raps laughing we were just being young living large blazin' the high way...in a moment of glory...then..just like that it ended..in a loud ear shattering twist of metal ...we were flying till we weren't it all went silent...

I got bail over 30,000 I was stunned I made bail I had all the money in the world I had contacts all over the world I was a huge flight risk. Yet I made bail mom started screaming and crying hugging me. I stood there stunned yea I was happy but what would happen now?

My brain was in over load two nights ago I got so drunk I couldn't even stand up straight I got behind a wheel. I drove over a 100 miles per hr and side swiped another car driving them off the road..I Caused a school bus which had 20 plus kids on it to skid off the road..I crashed into a tree... my car wrapped around it...I was fine only a few cuts but others weren't so lucky. The girl Antoine Lucas she was 14 she was a 9th grader at St. Francis Junior High in Orange County she was thrown form the car and broke her neck . She was 14 she was just looking for a good time with friends and she died because of it. I wonder what it felt like to have the air sucked out from under you? To lay on the ground scared that these were your last moments...did your family know how much you loved them? Did she regret making those decisions?

Then there were the kids how many of them? I couldn't even remember I was frozen...


	40. Chapter 40

**Homeward Bound**

**Demi's p o v**

The club was packed I had a headache my eyes were burning my neck was cramped the music was bumping Nicki was blasting through the speakers. All around me people were dancing and grinding having a great time but I was frozen in my spot beer in hand. Some random guy kept trying to feel me up he was so drunk he smelled like a beer factory. I pushed him off countless times he didn't seem to get it he kept coming back trying to grab my ass and kiss my neck he made me want to gag..in fact I could feel it coming up my throat as he was feeling me up while I tried to push him off for the 1,000 time as I was being jostled around by all the grinding bodies, somebody needed to teach him a lesson and tell him who the eff I was while they were at it.

[Random guy] -_Don't be a bitch_

_You know you want it coming in _

_Here looking all fly_

_Miley_

_Dressed in short skirts_

_Tight Shirt showing off your titties_

_Let Daddy Show you what a real man feels like_

_Don't be a tease Selena_

Finally I couldn't take it anymore he was grabbing my butt for like the 2,000 time. I felt my anger boiling as he kissed my neck and blocked me from going anywhere...his snickering and smell made me loss control before I even knew it I had pulled my knee up and smashed it straight into his groin he stumbled back stunned groaning so I slapped him.

_[Me-]Remember that next time your hands feel like feeling_

_Up some random girl_

_Oh and I'm Demi Bitch.._

Pissed off beyond belief I pushed my way out grabbing Ana's beer off the table as she was flirting with some 28 y..o dude ..I shoved my way outside. Pushing past the paps who were quick to snap photo's and yell out their obnoxious questions..but the line of kids trying to get in the club recognized me and started swarming someone from the street saw me and slammed on the brakes trying to get a photo op. I became over whelmed as the sounds of crashing and metal filled my ears I covered my already pounding head as I ran back inside. I felt myself hyperventilating that damn guy was back to his hands feeling me up as he called Miley's name..

_[Ana]- She told you to leave her alone Asshole.._

Ana was my hero as she slammed a beer bottle over his head he fell to the ground. Sighing in relief as I was still shaken she took my hand and lead me into the bathroom her hands were cold and clammy not like Selena's which were always warm and smelled like Warm Apples. The urge to vomit became more urgent as I entered a dark room which ricked of smoke and sex..she lead me to a stall and forced my mouth open. I felt something slide down my throat as she slide something over my arm there was a pinch and I felt something cold and hard enter my arm.

Where was I ? my eyes burned as I adjusted to the bright lights I groaned I was aching all over and cold so very cold. My stomach felt like it was being used as a bouncy ball for kids. Closing my eyes I swallowed and waited till I felt a bit better. Then I took another look around and saw I was in a bedroom..on the floor...slowly I got up and threw the blanket off as I felt a cold breeze hit me shivering I looked down to see I had no pants on fear shivered through me, what had I done? Who had I done it with? Another glance I saw Ana was in bed naked with some guy..I groaned shaking my head..what time was it? It was too dark to see a clock so I gave up and went to shower. The water felt amazing and woke me up. I didn't want to leave.

After a shower I made my way to the kitchen only to finally see the clock 11am shit! I needed to be at the studio now!

I angered loads of drivers as I tore off to the studio of course the most angry was our director who screamed at me for 20 minutes till Tiffany pulled me away. Needless to say this day sucked...it didn't get better.

Selena was the only one who calmed me down holding her hands as I sat there talking to her laying my head on her chest I felt everything disappear.

From the moment I heard she was in a coma I had started working with her therapist to help stimulate her she had suggested reading to her talking to her like we would if she was awake. So everyday I came here and told her what had happened today was no different . I worked through a few problems as I sat here everyday talking, today though I felt shame creep up she would be the first to scold me and tell me I was being reckless. I wanted her to wake up and tell me that so bad..I prayed for it stroking her hair, face. She became annoyed a few times when I would push her hair up into pig tails which amused me.

I needed a distraction so putting on some music super bass by Nicki by of her favorite songs I decided I would do her hair and makeup today. I had to laugh as I put her hair in braided pigtails it was so cute I had to get it on my cell phone as a picture blackmail for when she woke up and played a joke on me she was groaning at me as if she knew what I was doing she hated wearing makeup when she wasn't working giggling I went to take the picture suddenly my camera was knocked out of my hands. I gasped in shock as I saw her hand flipped back down, paling I sat down in shock I swore I saw her grin, I noticed she wasn't so still she was restless her arms moving and her legs twitching. I swallowed and went over trying to calm her down. Stroking her arms and face kissing her head ..

_I'm sorry Lena I didn't mean to upset you_

_Calm down please_

_I just needed a distraction it's so hard you have no idea_

_What my life is like right now_

_Everybody expects me to be this broken angel _

_Who needs to be fixed _

_I'm just me_

_I can't take your place I'm not the queen of comedy Like you_

_I'm not the sexy little angel likes miles_

_I'm just plain old me_

She grunted as if to say shut the hell up Demi like she always did when I put myself down. I turned up the music which she seemed to like smiling I started to rap which I can not rap she swatted at my hand I smiled wider and kept it up I would do anything to wake her up even play a fool.

_Demi to set Demi to set!_

_Tiffany to set!_

_Alyson to set_

The pa system sprung to life _, _I worked out the crinkles from my neck and stood up exhausted didn't even begin to cover it I wasn't sleeping at night, I couldn't every time I did I saw it all over again I felt it I heard it..I saw it all...as a result I was having serve stomach problems I couldn't eat and I was throwing up all the time. The dizziness was the worst so I was always taking pills I wasn't sure what they were Ana gave them to me and I trusted her. I was becoming obsessed with exercising, which was helping me stay strong what helped more the fans they were so supportive of me. Encouraging me telling me I was a inspiration even though I wasn't all I did was have the luck to survive and some days I wondered was it really luck? One best friend gone forever one in a coma ..

Acting these days helped to fill the void but it never replaced it never took it away it was always there a constant reminder of what I lost.

The nurses at the hospital were always telling me I was becoming too thin and making me try to eat but food turned my stomach ...I often left the food untouched even though it was so sweet of them to do it for me. A few times I gave it to the fans who hung outside all waiting with signs for Selena to wake up. They would sing her songs and blast her Cd's as they gathered in the garden it was sweet, I knew she would love it she was always so touched by her fans. I made sure she knew they were there I recorded it on my cell uploaded it onto you tube. I was touched by them ...some of the food smelled so strong It gagged not only me but her one Rn was a garlic freak and every time she brought me something which reeked of it. She almost chocked on her own saliva..I had to suction her quickly she was restless then so I massaged her neck and her shoulders she relaxed. Throwing the food out to the fans who were like vultures.

I hung pictures up in her room and made it feel like home Jennifer ,Maria , Jake and David were always taking new photos and sending them to me they were leaving things as well, they came by every week to visit her and they took to working with her like I did, I saw improvement, one day as I was playing her favorite movie she opened her eyes they just focused on one spot but they stayed open.

Drunk high and depressed I didn't even know what time it was where I was or what the eff I had been doing Ana had me club hopping for two nights straight.

When I showed up at the hospital I was pissed off my head hurt my neck was cramped I had to piss and the internet had me angry the paps had taken pics of me at the club decking the guy and made it seem like I went after a fan who had tried to get me a autograph. The fans were at war some saying I was too thin or too messed up that I should be fired.

Today wasn't bad enough I walked in to Selena's room to see Justin sitting there holding her hand. Yes I flipped it was bad it took four Rn's to get me off of him, one had to hold me back while one stuck me with a needle. I screamed kicking at him. He sunk into a corner shaking I had gotten his face a black eye a few bloodied scratches. His mom came in screaming at me at them to lock me up attacking a minor..there was so much confusion..Selena reacted badly I saw her body shake as she cried out slashing Justin ran over to her talking to her she calmed down...I watched seething but I saw how she relaxed as soon as he touched her and as much as I hated him she needed him. My body relaxed I sunk down.

Maggie one of the Rn's who took care of Lena daily sat by me stroking my arm talking to me..

[Maggie] _-She knows _

_What's going on_

_You need to Relax_

_He calms her down_

_That's a good thing babe _

_Were going to remove her nasal tube_

_Try feeding her through her mouth_

_Want to be there?_

I nodded she took my hand and helped me up. I glared at him but I didn't attack him at this point I was numb. She needed me to protect her and I had to suck it up and be there for her I was her legal guardian now her mom had given up her rights and signed them over to me. The doctors reported every thing to me. Taking her hand I held it I felt her squeeze it hard as they removed her tube I kissed her head trying to comfort her as they slide the tube out. She couldn't talk but she was aware she made little sounds of discomfort and pain. Justin sung to her...

_You're my special little lady  
The one that makes me crazy  
Of all the girls I've ever known  
It's you, it's you_

My favorite, my favorite  
My favorite, my favorite girl  
My favorite girl  


The doctors cleaned her up and gave her a shot to relax..she fell back to sleep as he kept singing to her.

His mom made him leave when she fell asleep all I kept thinking was he can never find out...he would use it to his advantage. I didn't trust him would I be suing his punk butt for everything he was worth if I did? He was just being nice to her to get to me and it wasn't going to work. Kissing her forehead as I laid my head down next to her I sighed talking to her.

_[Dr. Tanner]- Miss Demi I have her latest test results _

Sighing I stood up not letting go of her hands...

[Me]-_What's going on she seems to be so restless so agitated_

_[Dr. Tanner] – We noticed it as well and we tested her again_

_I'm happy to see she's doing very well_

_On her GSC she scored a 13 _

My heart did a skip and hip hop dance 13 out of 15 was awesome …

_[Me]- Does this me..._

_[Dr.] Yes we expect her to wake up we can't give a time_

_But she's doing very well_

_As you can see were going to attempt feeding her _

_Her Ankle is fully healed no bleeding in her brain_

_Her Lungs are functioning on her own so were going to remove_

_The Tracheotomy tube and take her off the respirator _

_[Me]-What if she can't..._

_[Dr]- Then will put her back on but I honestly believe she'll do fine_

I nodded swallowing feeling sick I was so scared for her she was so close..

[Me]- _Doctor Tanner how's_

_I mean..uh.._

_Damn I feel sick.._

_[Dr.]- Demi are you okay?_

_[Me]- No..._

I ran to the bathroom as my stomach came up over and over...when I was finally done I stood up shaky and washed up I was pale and looked like hell but it didn't matter not now...taking a few deep breaths calming myself I went out...

Dr. Tanner was talking to Randi and Maggie they turned to me stopping their conversation I saw him holding something.

_[me]- Sorry..felt..I ... _

Sighing I wiped my face my head was still hurting ..

_[Randi] -Demi we thought you would like to see this..._

_[Me]- What is it?_

_It looks like a x-ray.._

_[Randi]- No baby it's a sonogram_

_Selena's baby she's doing amazing_

I gasped my first look at her baby ..yes this what he could never find out Selena was pregnant ...Nick hadn't even bothered to call or check up on her after the accident never came to Miley's funeral so there was no way this was getting out. I was going to protect her at all cost if Justin found out he could tell the whole world. Which means nick would have to come back to keep appearance ...he used her when she was awake he wasn't using her baby when she couldn't defend herself.


	41. Chapter 41 Jail

**Homeward Bound**

**Jail**

**Justin's p o v**

_Baby with you I can do no wrong_

_My money is yours, give you a little more because I love ya, love ya  
With me, girl, is where you belong  
Just stay right here, I promise my dear I'll put nothin' above ya, 'bove ya_

Love me, love me, say that you love me  
Fool me, fool me, oh how you do me  
Kiss me, kiss me, say that you miss me  
Tell me what I wanna hear, tell me you love me

Love me, love me, say that you love me 

_[Scottie]- Okay stop right there.._

_Let's take it From when you say Fool Me.._

_Were running late on those steps_

_Dancers take it from the last step where you.._

Scotty made me laugh as he tried to do a dance move which he manged to get all tangled up and almost land on his butt.

Rehearsal took 6 hours but it kept me calm and distracted which I needed I was awaiting trail..things at home were at a all time low. I was always fighting with him and mom was worried so much she was on prescription drugs to calm her nerves. Sammy was caught up in the middle and withdrawing from everyone and everything I hated what it did to him.

I was always tired no matter how much I slept which was a lot they had me on suicide watch as if I would ever do that...I didn't deserve to die death would be too good for me...I deserved to suffer just like I made them suffer Miley , Selena those kids... here I was having my career my fans while I was still acting like my cocky former self all thanks to my record company they wanted me to keep selling which means acting like it didn't matter to me it created a bad boy image. I had to show remorse sure but not let it effect my job which was to sell. It was sickening really and yet what else did I have?

I had worked so hard for so long I couldn't let it get to me, expect it did..every time I closed my eyes I replayed the day my life forever changed in my head..

I was sitting in jail still hungover I was shackled with a belly chain cuffs and ankle cuffs I was thrown on a cot which smelled like old piss. I was confused as to where I was why I was there. The sounds of heavy metal slamming could be heard as men shouted banging on things...what the hell where was I?

_Beeper get up!_

_[Me]- huh?_

I picked my head up and looked around my vision was blurry my legs felt like lead as I got up I saw for the first time that I was in a room a small room I couldn't even start to figure out what colors the walls were it was so old that all the paint was chipped off. The bed rattled as I was getting up who was calling me? It didn't sound like my mom or that idiot she calls a husband..why did my wrists hurt? My whole body ached now that I stretched out and thought about it , cranking my neck I looked around my vision was clearing even though my head was hurting.

_[inmate]- Lookie Lookie who's awake fresh meat..._

I swallowed as I felt my eyes go wide some 200 lb man was sitting on a cot arms folded his eyes held a sadistic glint ..where the hell was I? I backed up and kept walking back as he laughed …

_[inmate] Looks like the little lady is scared wittle baby_

_Better toughen up kid or this place will eat you up!_

_[Me]- Whe..re..a..m..i..?_

He laughed ..

_[inmate]-Wow how much did you have last night son?_

_[Me]- I don't kn..I.. can't rem...ember_

_[inmate]- your in Juvie son..and I'm your new mama._

I screamed yes I will admit it I screamed like a bitch...as I banged on the cell...

_[guard]- Settle down there beeper or will place you in confinement!_

Confinement? What the hell was that? Why the hell would they place me in it? What did I do? Why the hell was I even here? Finally as I was about to start banging my head against the bars some guard came and called my name..I was practically flying into his arms..

I was lead down a hall after they shackled me walking was slow you can't jerk too fast or you'll take a header into the concrete ...two guards surrounded me holding my arms man what the hell why were they watching me like a hawk? As I walked things started hitting me like the awful smell it smelled like shit everywhere and body Oder it was the nasty thing ever it made me want to puke, another thing I saw I was one of the few white people in here not to sound prejudice but all around me I barely saw my own skin color ..another thing I saw gang symbols were a presence made known everyone seemed to flaunt some kind of tattoo or mark. I did see that everything was spotless ..how the hell did it get that way?

I was lead into a room and shoved down by a guard who spoke harshly to me to behave or else...I looked around scared shitless. Mom came in she looked horrible like she had been crying all night her eyes were red rimmed and had deep circles under them she was pale I felt awful I didn't know why but somehow I knew I had caused it...my voice sounded weak as I called to her...I was told not hug her or have any contact with her do you have any idea what it's like not to be able to hold your mom or be told you can't even touch her after not being able to for how long?

[Me]- _Mom what the heck happened?_

_Why am I here when can I go home?_

_[Mom]- Justin do you remember anything at all about last night?_

I tried to think hard I remember being at the restaurant I remember partying but beyond that it was a big blank, I shock my head she sighed..I saw the pain in her eyes and prayed it wasn't because of me but a sinking feeling was getting in my chest.

I swallowed as I tried to work my voice ..

[Me]_- Mom please I have to get out of here _

_I have a Cd to record I'm about to go on tour_

_I need to rehearse_

_I have so many fans counting on me I have.._

_[Mom]- Justin stop rambling_

_Dammit son last night you made a stupid choice and_

_Your paying for it_

_Can't you remember?_

I shock my head tears clogging my throat.

_Justin you got drunk last night _

_You got behind the wheel and _

_You crashed you hit another car_

_[Me my voice was weak in disbelief]- I wh..I...No..Mom.._

_[Mom]- Yes Justin you were going over 90 m.p.h_

_You lost control and smashed into a SUV _

_Ran them off the road they went over the guard rail_

_Justin you drove drunk and Killed 11 people_

_One of them was Miley..._

_You put Selena into a coma_

_Your actions Justin caused a school bus to crash _

_8 kids and two chaperons died.._

_Your BAC [ blood __alcohol count__ ] was .16_

_Your under 21 you can't even have a .01 in California law_

_Their charging you with 11 counts of reckless driving DUI _

_Gross vehicular manslaughter while intoxicated" _

_[Me]- What does that mean?_

_[Mom]- It means that you could get 10 years or more in jail _

_Justin you killed Miley you killed your friends!_

My head was spinning what the hell had I done? I couldn't wrap my mind around it Miley was dead? My miley was gone forever because of me?

I spent time in confinement without even doing anything they were worried about my mental status .. I guess they had a right to be since I lost it after the shock wore off. I started screaming and banging my head against the wall.. Miley was dead Selena was in a coma..what had my life become? They had to sedate me to keep me calm I spent three days drugged up strapped to a chair then I was put in a suicide smock as I started to hallucinate I was punching at the guards hitting spitting ..imagines plagued me..I was flying.. I was laughing ...music was blasting.. brakes were screeching I saw blood...I heard them screaming ...I shot up sweating I threw up ...it went on for three days like this till I was numb.

When I was let out of solitary they threw a mop at me and shoved me into a room I assumed it was the cafeteria..I was told to scrub till it shined ..by the time I was done I was so sore I wanted to cry everything hurt...I was weak and I was tired ..my mind hurt I couldn't think straight. I wasn't even remotely hungry .. I felt sick depression had hit me hard but I refused to cry...I don't remember much about my arraignment expect it was packed with Media and I had to be escorted in the back..Mom was there by my side so was Usher. He kept telling me to keep my cool that it would all work out. I didn't see how it could.

I made bail more then anyone should ever have to pay for me but mom did...how was I suppose to face anybody? What would the fans think? I already knew there was a lawsuit against me ...I expected more..

Home was no different Jordan as soon as she went to shower threw me against the wall smacking me as I fell to the ground he growled..

_Stupid kid you almost blew everything _

_For a good time we depend on your money!_

_What were you thinking? Your useless _

_A piece of of trash just like your father _

_You'll never make anything of yourself_

He kicked me

_Get up You stupid piss for brains piece of dog crap_

Sam stood in my doorway looking at me with his eyes wide he didn't say a word but his eyes showed it all he was confused and disappointed. I couldn't say anything I shrugged he shock his head and turned away my heart sank my stomach rose I had to make this right but how could I?

I started by reading everything I could about my charges how could I fight it? I couldn't of been so drunk I did this there had to be something else that happened? I just had to find a good lawyer.

My head was hurting my heart beating so fast I had to a hard time controlling my breathing. What could I do? I tried to look at pictures from the last few years but every one had Miley or Selena in them Music it's always calmed me down...I grabbed my guitar and started playing..I couldn't lose it all I just couldn't.

_I wish I could tell you  
The things I never got the chance to  
I wish I was with you now  
To see you smile again  
I wish we had more time  
But time goes by so fast_

The moment comes and  
Then the moment passes by  
In the blink of an eye

And If I had one wish  
I Wouldn't ask for money  
I wouldn't ask for fame  
I wouldn't ask for the power to  
Make this world change  
If i could have one thing  
That one thing that I would chose  
Is one more ordinary day with you  
With you

I wish I could see you  
And be there where my arms could reach you  
I wish I could let you know  
How much you touch my life  
Maybe a little time is all the time we get  
The Words we long to say are words that go unsaid  
You can go back again

But if I had one wish  
I Wouldn't ask for money  
I wouldn't ask for fame  
I wouldn't ask for the power to  
make this world change  
If i could have one thing  
That one thing that I would chose  
Is one more ordinary day  
With you

I wish we had more time  
Time goes by so fast  
The moment comes and  
Then the moment passes by  
In the blink of an eye

But if I had one wish  
I Wouldn't ask for money  
I wouldn't ask for fame  
I wouldn't ask for the power to  
Make this world change, no  
If i could have one thing  
That one thing that I would chose  
Is one more ordinary day  
Just one more ordinary day with you  
With you …

It's funny how you don't even know how sweet your life is until a tragedy wakes you up and changes your whole world. I wish with all my heart I could go back and just have one more day of normal. I wish I could go back and not be so cocky I wish I could of said to Miley what she meant to me.

_._


	42. Chapter 42 Ghost Of You Part Two

**Homeward Bound**

**Ghost Of You Part 2**

**Justin's p o v**

Demi had no idea that I had been coming here every day for the last two months holding her hand singing to her she seemed to like it when I did that I washed her face and read to her told her stories about what was happening. I worked with her physical therapist. I saw improvement in her every day .. she brought me sense of calm. She made my world make sense again she had no one besides Demi who was being wrapped up in a world of fame and demands she was staring to hang with a dangerous crowd I could see it and I was scared for her. I had no one really my Mom was so wrapped up in trying shield Sam. I was left alone to deal my manger and agents were all about press moves and saving my image. I cared more about saving my soul who cares if I Sell 50 mill if I'm dammed to hell when I die was it all worth it no...I needed restitution..Demi wasn't going to give it to me.. and I was to chicken to go see Mandy or Mi's family...Selena she gave me peace maybe it was me just being a chicken after all wasn't much she could do to hurt me right? I mean she was helpless...Wrong being here hurt me every day seeing her like this her once vibrant ,smart, pretty, sweet sassy life drained out of her she was reduced to being a vegetable this wasn't the Selena I had looked up to admired loved for so long..that's right ..Loved ..I realized more each day over the last year that I was slowly but steady falling more and more in love with this beautiful smart butt kicking , sassy fiery demon slaying ...aw hell she was just so amazing no matter what I did where I went who I dated Selena haunted me...she was the ghost that followed me.

Then Demi saw me and I had never seen that side of her before she scared me so bad every part of me was shaken hell even my balls were pounding themselves to death. I was sweating and afraid I would piss myself.. first off I had known Demi for 5 years now she had always been the sweet one ..yea Disney labeled them.. Miley was the rebel she was the sexy one the wild one the one who they had to control. Selena she was the Latin princess the sweet one who was sarcastic fierce and witty but she was always the one with a clean image. Demi she was the pop princess while Miles went toward Rock and Selena did the tech thing Demi stayed with pop she had a clean cut image she was always smiling and always pleasant her eyes always shined she never said anything out of line she did what they said and always praised Disney she made it a point to tell girls to be confident in their own skins she was never the thinnest out of the 3 and while Miles would go off and blast anyone who called her fat making it a point to say she was thin. Demi made it a point to say she was proud to be whatever size she was. Now she was thinner then anyone she was scary thin her eyes were dead to the world zoned out, she was dressing in all black her hair was even black now. Every hit hurt worse then the first her nails dug into my skin drawing blood.

When she was pulled off it was like being back in my cell I was in shock ..but slowly we both got up and went over to Selena.

To say she accepted me was a lie we tolerated each other we had to cause Selena needed us both and she was getting better. Every day she made improvements. We both came up with ways to simulate her I found solace in being with her by late November Demi and I had even started to laugh with each other, it was a good feeling I hadn't laughed in months.

The day we had been praying for finally happened she said her first word it was slow and hard to understand but she said the word ..h..i..we were in shock we just looked at each other and our mouths dropped open.

From that day we worked with her it was slow but she started to make sounds into words and form whole sentences we helped her out of bed and walked with her ..she couldn't remember anything from the accident but she worked with a therapist every day to get her memory back into shape. It was great to see her making progress we loved to walk around the gardens the feel of her arms wrapped around my neck as we walked smelling her sweet aroma made my heart melt the first time she laughed when Demi told a joke was like magic.

The first time she took a shower was funny she made a joke about their old days in Barney it was like being lifted up on rockets with fireworks.

The sun was shining as we sat by a water fountain I was brushing her hair and we were just watching the ducks swim and she leaned over and kissed me. It was beyond amazing I wrapped my arms around her and we lost each other to our lips and their hot sensations.

**Selena's p o v**

"What does it feel like to wake up from a coma? I can't really say there's any words to express it it's slow feels like your waking up from a long restless sleep..you can't remember anything which is frustration and exhaustion. Going from having a successful music career and acting career to barely being able to say a sentence is the most depression feeling ever but I was lucky that I had Demi and Justin by me he was the sweetest most amazing sensitive guy I had ever met. I couldn't believe he had caused this accident. Demi was being super protective it was strange having her having to help me with even simple things like brushing my hair or teeth going to the bathroom. She was never judgmental or made me feel ashamed she was always so sweet. Watching the news was insane I was lucky I was alive when I saw the wreckage it left me shaken I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact Miley was dead

Nick was gone no one had heard from him and I was carrying his child ..yea I was pregnant another fact I couldn't quite believe but slowly memories came back I remember feeling sick and achy a few weeks before the accident I remember being scared I just couldn't remember exactly why I mean I loved Nick. This would of brought us together even he couldn't date her when I was preggers with his kid. I wasn't sure why Demi was so harsh on Justin he seemed really sweet.

There was a nagging feeling about our relationship though when I was with him I felt safe like I had been in his arms before. His kissed tasted like I was being awakened when he kissed my neck he awakened my whole body.

The day my doctor told me I could go home was a mixture it wasn't like I was going home cause I still needed help so I was moving into Demi's house which was awesome cause we had always planned that but at the same time I liked being independent, still Demi was doing everything to help me not to feel like I was a cripple.

I had no idea how exhaustion it was just to move from the hospital to home but by the time I was there I was read to pass out, a long nap fixed that.

As happy as I was with Justin I still missed Nick and I couldn't believe he was being such a jerk why wouldn't he call me? Answer my texts? I know he has a heart I was in love with him for years I wouldn't waste myself on someone who had no soul...looking over at pictures of us love letters we shared..it brought back memories the way his kisses made me feel his arms caressing my skin..why was he suddenly dissing me? Why wouldn't he come to Miley's funeral.

Sick of feeling so depressed my boyfriend on trail for DUI with the possibility of losing and being sent away for 10 + years he was scared he knew his case looked bad even his lawyer was urging him to take a plea but he wanted to fight and the father of my baby MIA it was all so much to take in. dance class helped working on music helped but it also heightened my fear what would happen if every one found out I was pregnant? I would lose everything...I was so close to getting it all back..what choices did I have? My body couldn't take any more stress such as a abortion and giving it up was pointless people would still find out.

Demi kept trying to cheer me up we cooked dinner every night we talked about our days..I wanted what she had my career I wanted to be busy with interviews and photo shoots call times...I wanted my effing life back . She listened to me she talked to me and she loved me . She just did not want me to contact Nick.

I know I should listen to her she's the one who's helped me the most but I needed to hear from him...memories of him kept haunting me over and over...

Laying in bed I looked at my cell should I shouldn't I? Sighing I put it down and closed my eyes...

_And I'll never be, quiet the same as I was before these,  
Part of you, still remains  
Oh, its out of focus  
Your just somewhere that I've been  
And I won't go back again  
Your just somewhere that I've been _

A memory leaped forward I remembered recording this song the night of the accident I felt the fear and loneliness and sadness all come back ...I wanted it to stop.. I needed peace in my life. I grabbed my cell and shakily texted him..

" _Nick It's Selena please talk to me _

_We have to talk it's urgent _

_I forgive you for every thing_

I waited I was almost asleep when I heard my ring tone go off...anxiously I picked it up...

_Well I don't forgive you Selena_

_You little Slut I know you slept with him_

_Don't contact me ever again were over..._

_Forever_

_Forget my name_

_Sincerely nick_

My heart fell as the tears over flowed I clutched the pillow as I felt like my heart was being ripped out from my chest why would he say those things? What did he mean who did I sleep with? I had never been with anyone ...had I? Was that why we had broken up? Was this why Demi was so protective? Who did I ...oh god...no...could it be..no we couldn't of..we barely knew each other then..wait could he be my baby's father?

Oh shit I felt sick...


	43. Chapter 43 The Girl Who Broke In Two

**Homeward Bound **

**Nick's p o v**

**The Girl Who Broke in Two **

_I'm breathing in, breathing out  
Aint that what it's all about?  
Living life, crazing loud  
Like I have the right to  
No more words, in my mouth,  
Nothing left to figure out,  
But I don't think I'll ever break through,  
The ghost of you _

Selena she filled every moment in my brain my every fiber my every feeling I wanted so bad to call her but my dad had confiscated our phones for over 3 and half months he wouldn't let us watch TV read the newspapers or have cells he wanted us to focus on writing music we had flown to South America we were being put up in a fancy hotel he had tricked us into thinking we had booked a tour. Dad was obsessed with us creating the best Cd yet and we were doing well, no distractions no interviews no press no one knew where we were. It was so nice and yet I was getting lonely. Which made me angry Dad and I fought Joe and I fought. Frankie was depressed dad and him didn't talk they had a huge fight when we had gotten here and since then Frankie kept to himself.

I longed for human contact outside my family and yes I am a teenage boy I was so hormonal I wanted to have sex. I need Selena I could taste her lips I could feel her skin...I wanted her so bad..I prayed so hard that night after everyone had gone to bed

Working on a new song that night I thought about her all the smiles the laughter the tears the pain the joy when she smiled it brought out the best in me it made me feel like a man...music helped soothe me...I took a break to grab some water praying worked as it has been said a sign was laid out in front of me..my cell was on the table unguarded ..looking around I grabbed it and quickly opened it to see..

_Nick It's Selena please talk to me _

_We have to talk it's urgent _

_I forgive you for every thing_

_Well I don't forgive you Selena_

_You little Slut I know you slept with him_

_Don't contact me ever again were over..._

_Forever _

_Forget my name _

_Sincerely nick_

I felt sick who the eff had done that? Who had texted those words to her? Why the eff would they? I was shaken with anger ..

_[Dad]- Nick Put it down you know you can' t use your cell_

_[Me]- Why because you have a plan! _

_Is this why you tore us away from La!_

_So you can dictate _

_What we do who we see_

_Forget it I'm done!_

_[Dad]- Nicholas Jerry J..._

_[Me]- I'm out of here I'm going home To see Selena!_

He grounded me and locked the doors but that didn't stop me as soon as I heard him go to sleep I broke the lock and grabbed my guitar and a bag stole Joe , Kevin's money and took off.

As I sat in the airport in my disguise I played and worked on that new song..my hands feel over the strings creating a beautiful melody the words came easy as I remembered all the dates and all the fun times and all the sad times.

_Silhouettes will always fade  
And the simple things seem harder now  
The hours seem to last like days  
But her fragile breath  
Is still around  
You miss the sound_

Of the girl who broke in two  
I know I'll never know why the saddest words are goodbyes  
But my memories hold her youth  
The girl who broke in two  
You got to bare the cross if you're gonna face the loss of  
The one who broke inside of you

Your heart and your head lead helplessly  
While your soul is left to suffocate  
Though your thoughts and all your dreams  
Are so incomplete  
Well life's like smoke  
It's blown away  
You miss her everyday

The girl who broke in two  
I know I'll never know why the saddest words are goodbyes  
But my memories hold her youth  
The girl who broke in two  
You got to bare the cross if you're gonna face the loss of  
The one who broke inside of you

All the places you remember her beside you  
And all the spaces that she left could not be filled  
And when you feel like telling her that you're so sorry  
Well that is just the guilt that's lying with you still

The girl who broke in two  
I know I'll never know why the saddest words are goodbyes  
But my memories hold her youth  
The girl who broke in two  
You got to bare the cross if you're gonna face the loss of  
The one who broke inside of you

The girl who broke in two  
(The one inside of you)  
The girl who broke in two  
(The one inside of you)  
The girl who broke in two  
Like the one inside of you 

I'm coming Selena hold on baby..I grabbed my cell but it was dead I cussed no charger no place to charge it even if I had one..I prayed to god to watch over her and keep her safe..

Paul Freeman - The Girl Who Broke In Two


	44. Chapter 44 The Gift Of A Friend

**Homeward Bound**

**The Gift Of A Friend**

**Selena's p o v**

Needles, razors, what the hell? Why would Demi have Needles laying around? I was shaken I was scared...I noticed something was off with her lately but I assumed it was stress and everything that had happened.. she couldn't be using could she? I felt sicker by the minute I barely made it before everything came up...I knew I had to ask her ..but how do you ask your best friend if their using drugs? If their self harming? Could she be in that much pain she would do that to herself?

She was sitting in the kitchen reading a newspaper when I came out it was apparent she was exhausted she had just come in from being on set ..I grabbed a foot massage machine and placed her feet in it then I went over and working on her shoulders she moaned smiling..

_[Demi ]- What's this for? _

_Not that I mind it feel great sweetie_

_Thanks_

_[Me]- Can't I just be a good friend? _

_You've done everything for me_

_I feel like I can never repay you_

_[Demi]- You don't have to babe that's what friends are for_

She kissed my head as I bent over her shoulder smiling it felt amazing to spend time with her without her having to dress me feed me or bathe me...I sighed if I didn't do it now I never would...

I sat down and opened my hand..her eyes went wide she went pale and she looked down in shame...

_[Me]-Please don't lie to me.._

_Why.. _

_[Demi]- It was so hard Lena you have no idea _

_What I went through_

_Losing Miley _

_Almost Losing you_

_It killed me_

_I met this Girl she helped me_

_Well I thought she was helping me_

_But she just gave me a way to escape _

_It just became so addictive_

_I know it's wrong I haven't done it since you woke up_

_I just ..I was so scared and I was hurting.._

_You know I was never the strong one of the 3 of us _

_[Me]- That's a lie_

_You are to The strong one you_

_Did it you Survived _

_Maybe you didn't chose the best route _

_But you maintained _

_So many would of given up gone crazy but you didn't_

_You held on You helped me make a full recovery_

_I mean I still can't remember everything but I will_

_It's because of you..._

_You have always held that quite strength inside ever since we were _

_Kids you had it I always admired it..._

_Promise me you'll stop throw these things away..._

She looked at it as if she was unsure I held her chin up and she looked in my eyes getting up she took the bag and tossed it into the garbage then we took the bag outside and dumped it into the trash can.

We celebrated by going out to dinner..and bowling ,,we laughed like crazy as we met up with friends and went for ice cream..I was so hungry all the time now .

Two days later we went to a doctor's appointment I was so nervous sitting there by pregnant women who were all in their 20's or 30's who were married or engaged who looked positively glowing...while I was 18 unmarried and scared . Demi was there holding my hand as we looked through magazines laughing at some of the ugly clothes..laying on the table as the doctor poked and prodded me brought back memories of Nick and I ..of when we would...I didn't have those memories with Justin..but could it mean that we never..or was I just not able to remember cause I wasn't ready to yet...

_[Dr. Lynn] _ - _Selena I know this isn't a subject you like_

_To talk about but we really need to discuss_

_Contacting Nick he's the dad he should be here_

_[Me]- I know I want him here but he won't talk to me_

_I can't put my whole life on hold for him_

_My baby won't have a dad but she'll be loved.._

_Demi and I will take care of her she'll know what _

_It means to be loved her dad..._

_Is Right here..._

We both looked up shocked as Justin came in, I swallowed hard against the lump we didn't I was sure of it..there was no way I would know inside even if I didn't remember but if we didn't why would he say?

_[Justin]- I'm done pretending Selena_

_I tried to let you remember _

_On Your own the way Demi forced me to _

She gasped and glared..I swore I heard her growl..I clutched her hand...

_But I won't be shut out of my baby's life_

_I'm the dad and I have rights..._

_[Me]-Then why did you let me deal alone?_

_Why didn't you step up?_

_I'm trying so hard to remember you could of settled it!_

_[Justin]- I didn't want you to get upset like this_

_You don't need any stress.._

_[Demi]- Well this isn't helping both of you need to calm down_

_Will talk about this at home_

_[Justin]- No we need a neutral place_

_[Demi _hissing]_- Fine Koi_

_Tonight at 6.._

_[Demi]- Will be there bring your mama_

_[Justin]- I will.._

**Justin's p o v**

Oh great now I had to tell my mom ..shit , shit ,shitshe was going to hang me by my b..s and shot me she always told me if I had sex wrap it up I didn't do that..crap ..how the hell was I going to get out of this one alive?


	45. Chapter 45 Penny For your Thoughts

**Homeward Bound **

**Penny For Your Thoughts**

**Demi's p o v**

The paps were out in full force as we pulled up I took her hand as we waited in the valet line she seemed nervous this was one of her first appearances out no one knew she was pregnant we were hiding it well. She was meeting with Disney Executives this Monday.

_[Me]- You can do this babe.._

_Just relax and breathe deep.._

We got out and posed for pictures answering questions from the paps posing for pics with fans Selena looked gorgeous and slipped into the ease of things easily.

We had a nice Dinner even though Justin looked like he had the crap beaten out of him his Mom was tense and kept glaring at him..She was very supportive though and offered to pay for anything we needed..which I assured her we were fine but in the end we agreed he could have visiting rights ..then he did something we didn't expect he got on his knee and pulled out a box,,

_Selena Marie will you be my wife?_

_Will you do the honor of _

_Expecting my proposal in marriage? _

I saw Selena gulp it was too much for her..she excused herself I went after her she was pacing tears forming I wrapped my arms around her shoulders...

[Selena]- _What am I suppose to do?_

_Marry him?_

_[Demi]- Do you want to?_

_[Selena]- I don't know I mean I like him a lot_

_I may even love him_

_But marriage! _

_I'm not ready for that Damn Dems _

_I'm not ready For any of this!_

_I'm only 18 I'm not ready to be a mommy_

_I'm not ready to be a wife!_

_I'm not ready to say good-bye_

_To My life my friends my career!_

_I just want things to go back to normal!_

She busted into tears I held her as we stood there under the crystal diamonds hanging from the ceiling.

_[Justin]- Selena I'm sorry _

_I shouldn't of asked you to marry me_

_Your not ready and I shouldn't of pushed_

_But I am the father of this baby and..._

_Your Pregnant!_

_[Me And Selena]- NICK!_

_[Nick]- Last time I checked I was..._

_We need to talk!_

He went to grab her arm she was frozen motionless...then all of a sudden she snapped..out of it..and snapped literally. Without any warning she went after him and slapped his face just as the paps found us...

_[Me]- Selena Stop!_

_Justin help me get her off!_

We pulled her back as his mom grabbed my car I pulled her she was red faced and crying screaming at him..he stood motionless like he expected it..his face torn I almost felt bad ...almost...then I woke up and wanted to beat the crap out of him to, we manged to get her into the car.

No sooner did we pull up did he god didn't he get the hint? He wasn't welcome! The paps had followed us though so I invited him inside...damn I was wishing for my drugs right now or a stiff drink. We sat at

the table he told us some bogus story on how his dad had dragged him off to South America..I rolled my eyes Selena let him have it..he fired back that she had cheated on him she tried to tell him she didn't remember he called her a bunch of names . I exploded Justin sat there watching the whole scene eyes darting back and forth..

_[Nick] -Your lying how do you not remember sleeping with him!_

_Were you that effing Drunk!_

_[Selena]- Yes..no ..I Don't Know!_

_[Nick]- Whatever I'm done! _

_My dad was right!_

Why was he being such a idiot did he really want to be that mean and force her to say she had brain damage? How cruel could he be? He had to know even if he hadn't been here how that would make her feel she hated not being able to remember she was always so independent had a razor sharp memory..

I wanted to deck the damn kid so hard my fist was clenched..

[Nick]- _I'm going to see Miley_

_She'll tell me what's going on!_

_She's always honest even if it hurts like hell.._

My heart stopped wait could it be was he telling the truth did he really not know?

Selena was bawling now so hard I couldn't leave her she was shaken and almost gagging she needed to stay calm for her pregnancy..he was already halfway to the door I couldn't leave her I looked at Justin he sighed getting up …

**Nick's p o v**

I sped off why the hell was she being so stubborn just admit she had sex with him admit my dad was right about her and that I was a fool for coming all the way out here angering my dad..

Why the hell was that Beeper kid following me did he want me to beat his ass? I didn't care about lights or stop signs. I just drove finally I lost him..I made it into her house in no time I still remembered the code and made quick work of it.

I rang the door bell practically digging my fingers into it I waited not so patiently till I heard someone call out coming I knew it was Brandi...breathlessly she swung open the door confusion filled her face when she saw me...shock then anger...she growled...

_[Brandi]- What do you want now?_

_[Me]- I want to see Miley _

_Where is she?_

She looked like I had slapped her she stepped back taking a deep breath in her face paled ...tears filled her eyes...

_[Brandi]- I knew you could be cruel Nick But damn_

_This just takes it to a whole new level_

Okay now I was confused yea I had been gone for a while but what was new about that? We were always touring...

She swallowed I saw her almost breaking down fist clenched what the eff was with that lately?

_[Brandi]- Is this some kind of sick Joke?_

_Do you get your kicks out of hurting girls?_

_[Me]- Huh? I just want to see your sister what's_

_So cruel about that?_

_I know she's here tell her to stop being such a bitch_

_And just.._

_Slap!...Slap ..and Ow!_

Two girls in one night wow that's a record even for me ..I rubbed my face stepping back I was scared Brandi was always the tough one with a heart of gold...when she was angry she was angry as hell and god help anyone who stood in her way who the hell had broken her heart?

_[Brandi]- YOU BASTARD!_

[Me]- _Okay look this is obliviously not a good time _

_So I will just come back ano..._

_[Brandi]- How dare you come here after what you did!_

She was now glaring over my shoulders I sighed in relief who the hell was she shaken her fingers at her face red her other hand clutching the door frame. Her face almost matched her hair color she was beyond pissed..Justin's voice came from behind me...

_[Justin]- Believe me I had no intention of ever coming here!_

_I had to stop him! _

_[Brandi]- Get off my property!_

_Now! You scum bag!_

_I swear I will kick your drunk ass myself I did it before_

_I will do it again!_

What was she talking about? I was confused ..

_[Justin]- Just let me get Nick and I will.._

_[Brandi]- Get out now! _

_Don't talk to me don't ask my permission_

_You have no right no right to ask me or my family for anything!_

_After what you did!_

_[Justin]- Brandi I am so sorry!_

_I swear I don't want to cause any more pain I just.._

_[Brandi]- You caused this family to fall apart you fu..ing punk!_

What could he have done to piss her off so bad? I felt bad for him all of a sudden I knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of her anger and he looked miserable almost begging almost in tears...I sucked it up...

_[Brandi]- Brandi chill he doesn't deserve this _

She almost chocked coughing to clear her throat she glared ten times harder..

_[Brandi] - Are you kidding me!_

_He Fucking killed my sister!_

_He Should be dead you worthless piece of .._

_Miley's dead because of this asshole and he doesn't deserve my anger_

_Fuck off both of you!_

_You can both go to hell!_

She slammed the door so had the house shock we both stood there stunned Justin was fully crying now and I was just confused and stunned Miley was dead? How did he have to do with it? I heard Tish and Brandi talking loudly, I heard Brandi scream and run up the steps. I looked to him he had fallen to his knees.. I couldn't move ….the door opened and Tish stood there tear faced..was it true?

_[Tish]- Nick baby come here..._

I ran into her arms and she wrapped her arms around me I buried my face into her chest and she rocked me. We both fell to the ground ...once I had composed myself she went over to Justin who looked ready to faint..she hugged him and invited us inside..she fixed us tea and we sat at the table everywhere. I looked around their were pictures of Miley with her family with friends with Mandy with her dancers with fans with just herself...it was quite inside too quite I wasn't use to that..I was speechless she looked at Justin who couldn't meet her eyes...

_[Tish]- Young man don't think that me inviting you inside _

_Makes what you did okay_

_I haven't forgiven you and I don't think I ever will_

_You ripped apart this whole family_

_My heart breaks every day for the child I lost_

_You have no idea how much pain you caused.._

_[Justin]- I know ma'_

_[Tish]- NO You don't and don't you dare interrupt me!_

_You have no idea what it feels like to bury a child who you_

_Carried for nine months who you Gave Birth to_

_Who you took care of who you held when they cried _

_I Do because of your actions I do!_

_I asked you in here today because this young man loved my daughter and _

_As many times as he broke her heart she cared about him_

_He deserves a explanation_

Justin was stunned into silence as he swallowed and couldn't look at me he played with his fingers she grabbed him and yanked his chin up, I had never seen her so mad in my whole life...she yelled at him to pay attention and to tell me ..it took him a minute but he did the story poured out...

I felt cold, I felt numb as his words spilled out my heart dropped my throat felt tight I couldn't breathe...he drove drunk he killed one of the most gorgeous girls one of the most sweetest girls there ever was and he was still here..he caused Selena to go into a coma he caused her to lose months of her precious life..he caused her to lose her memory...I wanted to punch him so bad but I couldn't I couldn't move. I felt sick I felt helpless, I felt afraid my whole world had changed in those few moments...Now I understood Brandi's anger and it was justified he had stolen the most important person in her life from her his actions caused her to lose a part of her I knew how close they were I knew how much she was hurting because it felt like my heart had been ripped out...I cried and I just cried I didn't care if boys weren't suppose to cry cause 17 year old girls weren't suppose to die either but they did...Tish got up and escorted Justin out as Billy Ray came in he patted my back ..

_[Billy Ray] -I know your heart is breaking son_

_But Miles she's safe now she's in a better place_

_Where there's no pain no sadness.._

_She wouldn't want us to be sad Miles was all about _

_Smiling and happiness she would want us to be happy_

_Live our lives and not mourn.._

_[Me]- Where's Noah? _

[Billy Ray]- _She's upstairs I'm sure she would like to see you_

I ran up so fast I almost tripped I passed Brandi's room she was crying I heard her and I also heard Codi's voice I figured I better leave her alone for now...Noah was in her room laying on her bed staring up at the ceiling eyes red I saw shreds of paper all around her and saw it was her Justin posters she had ripped them to shreds my heart broke for her she looked so lost so scared so hurt...

[ME]- _Noah Can we talk please?_

She turned to me shocked …

[Noah] -_Where have you been _

_We've been calling you _

_Where's Frankie? _

_Why didn't you call!_

She was angry and she had every right to be I knew it now the poor kid had been through hell and she was only 10, I sat with her held her as she cried and talked to her...hours had passed by ..Tish came up at 10pm she sat by us Noah was asleep Tish looked relieved...

_[Tish]- She hasn't slept since the accident _

_We've taken her to doctors therapists_

_She refuses to eat_

_She can't sleep _

_She can't go to school_

_Brandi she's so angry well you saw.._

She laughed softly I nodded I didn't feel like laughing but she needed to do something..

_I got a hold of your mom _

_No one knew about the accident_

_She was so worried_

_Nick you didn't tell me you ran away_

_[Me]- I'm sorry but I had to see Selena and she hates me more now_

_God I am such a idiot!_

_[Tish] -You didn't know son it's not your fault_

_Your family's on the way home_

_You can stay here for now_

_Brasion will stay in Trace's old room_

_Do you want food?_

Suddenly I was starving and I knew my blood sugar was whacked out ..

_[Me]- I don't want you to go to any trouble_

_[Tish] -It's no prob baby Mandy's coming from rehearsal_

_I'm fixing her dinner_

_[Me]-Sure that sounds great then.._

Mandy had lost weight she looked broken but yet she still looked gorgeous her hair was shorter she hugged me and we both cried hard...after dinner we went to Miley's room we sat on her bed and reminisced we shared crazy Miley stories and funny Memories sweet memories we just remembered what a awesome girl she was..

I fell asleep dreaming of her I saw her in a field of heaven she was dressed in white and she was dancing under the sun she looked peaceful...

She was telling me something but I didn't know what it was...I tried to get to her but she just sung..

_A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar  
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner  
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'  
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'_

If I die young, bury me in satin  
Lay me down on a, bed of roses  
Sink me in the river, at dawn  
Send me away with the words of a love song 

She was telling me not to give up to chase my dreams to chase my love to live for her cause she couldn't...


	46. Chapter 46 Trail

**Homeward Bound**

**Trail**

**Selena's p o v**

Justin was scared he was here all night shaken Tish had really put the fear into him he was to start trail Monday and he was scared it wouldn't go well...I held him all night he cried I had never seen a boy cry before it touched me broke my heart I cried with him and held him...we kissed and we kept kissing I felt my breath in take as we started fooling around I didn't stop him when he pulled my shirt off or rubbed my belly which was growing more each day...I Didn't stop him as he kissed my legs and worked his way between my legs his kisses were warm they made me squirm as his tongue played with my v-lips and he slipped inside of me I squealed trying to muffle my sounds..Demi was sleeping she was beat. He moved deeper and thrusted harder it got hard to control myself everything was coming alive...it felt amazing it felt strange it felt nice..but there was no sparks..we kissed we cuddled and we had hot sex all night ...as we were making love memories came back ..music was playing we were in a room he was on top of me... I was drunk I was stumbling I was pushing him off I was pissed he wouldn't take no ..I kneed him ...the music was louder ...we fought ...I kicked him out...I locked the door...my head hurt I stumbled over to the bed naked and shaken ...I fell...everything went black...my eyes shot up in realization...wait if we never had sex then ...that bastard! He got me to love him he got me to care he tricked me!

I felt sick..he was sleeping ..I pushed him off of me and ran ... Shaking Demi I felt my whole world coming undone she woke up groggy she looked at me naked and shaken...she wrapped her arms around me and rocked me comforting me . I told her everything she was pissed and stormed off I closed the door I didn't need to witness this...sliding down to the floor I buried my face with my hands...why me?

Right after telling the executives I was pregnant which went surprisingly well considering they fired me on the spot and told me I needed to go to rehab because they blamed me for the accident somehow which they wouldn't say but they said they had evidence that I wasn't innocent.. the trail started.

Monday I had to be there we all did it was the first time I was seeing Miley's family they hugged me so tight I almost couldn't breathe. My heart broke for them...they looked so united so strong but I knew they were hurting..I saw him he was with them..we couldn't look at each other I was still mad and hurt and now I was embarrassed I knew I had to tell him but how?

Demi held my hand as the trail went on we heard forensic evidence testimony from witness and workers...police, firemen, paramedics... they replayed the accident over and over video tape footage from the area was shown it was blurry but as we watched memories started to pour back...I felt a sharp pain in my head I cried out and buried my head Demi covered me asking me what was wrong..the imagines haunted me..they didn't make sense all at once...my breathing was rough she held my hands ..she rubbed my back as I looked at her ..during recesses she pulled me out we sat in a private room..I looked up at her as I told her all I was remembering...she looked away and I knew...

_Demi " It's Not Your Fault_

_[Me] Yes It Is Dems_

_I was driving_

_[Dems] You didn't see the car_

_[Me] Because I was texting!_

_They all Blame me!_

_[Demi] Who's They?_

_[Me]-Disney!_

_Her Parents!_

_The Fans!_

_Everyone is looking at me and pointing at me!_

_Nick can't even look at me!_

_God I just wanna Die!_

_[Demi] NO Don't say that we already lost her we can't lose you to.._

_[Me]- How Can I live with this? _

_How can I live knowing I killed her!_

_[Demi]-It was a Accident baby it wasn't your fault_

_[Me]- Yes it was Dems I was texting my eyes weren't on the road!_

_I was driving I had control it was my responsibility to make sure we got home _

_I killed her just as much as Justin did_

_I need to take responsibility ! _

_[Demi]- No way I won't let you do that!_

_Your Pregnant you need to stop stressing.._

_[Me]- How? _

_[Demi]- No one knows and no one will ever know_

_I erased the cell messages _

_Stop stressing Lena it's not good For the baby.._

_[Justin]- She's right it doesn't matter if you were texting Lena_

_I was drunk and I accept whatever happens.._

_[Demi]- How did you.._

_[Justin]- I knew for awhile I did research on _

_Cases like mine I saw the footage_

_There's no way that I went that far off the road you crossed over_

_I know your a safe driver so I knew something was up_

_Nick left his phone on the counter when him and Tish were talking I checked it _

_[Demi]- His phone damn it..forgot about that.._

_[Justin]- No worries I erased it.._

_[Me]- But why?_

_[Justin]- I'm not heartless ya know_

_I love you Lena and this baby even if I can't have you _

_I want what's best for you..And I'm truly sorry_

_For what I did..this may be the only way to do right_

_I can't erase what I did or bring back the dead_

_But I don't need to bring you down with me_

_Go live your life Selena you have the right to _

_You have a second chance_

_Take it use it for good..._

He smiled not a cocky smile a genuine smile that made us both tear up I got up slowly and hugged him just as Nick came...

An officer came and lead Justin away Demi excused herself to go to the bathroom..we stood across from each other..neither one of us spoke right away..then he took my hand ..

[Nick]-_I'm sorry Selena I was a jerk _

_I honestly didn't know_

_I know I don't deserve your forgiveness and I _

_[Me]- I love you Nick I want to be with you!_

_Of Course I forgive you if you can.._

_[Nick]- It was a accident Lena you would never do anything to hurt anyone_

_It was a stupid thing to do but _

_Your not a horrible person_

_Your being punished enough _

_I love you to Selena Marie_

_Now will you do the honor of becoming my wife?_

_[Me]- oh my god!_

_Yes a thousand times yes!_

I squealed jumping into his arms he twirled me around..life was amazing right now...it was like a fairytale ending...which means...

Life was about to get crazy ...again...


	47. Chapter 47 Destiny Hope

**Homeward Bound **

**Destiny Hope**

**Selena's p o v**

I felt terrible sitting there watching him on trail knowing I was half responsible having Nick and Demi on either side helped ease it though they were both hugging me kissing me talking me down...it was painful before but now every time I heard some one talk about a loved one lost it was like a knife going through me. The worst was Miley's mom...

[Da]_-Ma'am can you tell me about your daughter?_

_[Tish]-Miley was a happy kid she was always smiling always _

_Helping others she loved to make people happy_

_From the time she could crawl we had trouble stooping her she was always_

_So active always on the go_

_She loved to sing and to preform she grew up in the spot light_

_It's what she always dreamed of being like her Daddy.._

_She was a sweet child she rarely ever sassed me or disobeyed us_

_[DA]- When was the last time you saw her?_

_[Tish]- That morning we had a fight_

She started to break down...my heart tore..Demi looked at me she started crying I guess she had no idea either...Miles hated to fight with her mom she always worried that her parents wouldn't know how much she loved them.

_[DA]- Can you tell us what this has done to your family?_

[Tish]- _It's torn us apart my oldest daughter is so angry_

_She won't eat she can't sleep _

_She gave up preforming she spends every day at her sister's grave_

_She's so full of anger she started drinking and she never drank before this_

_My youngest has nightmares all the time when she will sleep which isn't often_

_She failed her grade she refused to go to school this year_

_She's not eating we had to get a feeding tube she lost so much weight_

_She's not talking …_

_My oldest son can't even come home he says it's too painful_

_So he refuses to step foot in the house_

_My younger son buries himself in music and school_

_He won't interact with friends cause he says too many _

_People try to say the wrong things to him _

_Or just feel sorry for him and he hates pity_

_My husband and I were filing for divorce_

_[DA]- Can you tell me about the day you had to bury her?_

_Whatever you can remember..._

I gasped why the hell would that be relevant?

**Tish p o v**

That bastard wanted me to relieve it all over again he wanted me to sit here in court with all the media all the judicial system watching and recount the toughest day of any mother's life. Like I could ever forget a single thing?

From the rose colored casket with the creamy slick interior the way my baby looked so peaceful laying there with her arms crossed in prayer 7 single roses in her hands one from each of us Me, Billy, Brasion , Trace, Noah , Brandi , Mandy and Jen. Her gorgeous soft hair lay scattered around her sweet face...it shone like a halo ..she had on a pale lilac dress and her favorite shoes ...her makeup was soft she didn't like makeup when she was off...so many people had filled the church they were spilling out into the street...she had so many people who loved her ...Brandi had given the eulogy she had us all in tears.. Noah had read a poem..

_As she blossomed into a rose  
We got to see her best and worst side,  
We loved her to death  
But then she died._

_If My Sister had lived she could tell me_

_So many things she knew more then her years_

_She was gorgeous she was wise she was smart_

_She could fight she could be sweet she could do anything_

_Expect fight off death.._

She was loved by many  
And hated by some,

_She didn't let the hate get her down she fought against it and _

_She rose above she taught me to love and not_

_Let Fear and hate blind me from God's ways_

_That's the kind of sister she was_

_She always put us first  
She may have been different  
But God wanted her to come._

_We shared a room she taught me to play hide and seek_

_She told me do not be afraid she fought off the monsters_

_She tickled me and made me peanut butter and jelly's_

_I use to giggle so loud cause I knew she would never hurt me_

_I looked up to her she is my hero_

_It makes me sad to know to see her I have to look to the sky_

Miley My sister she is had a beautiful voice  
That reflected her smile,  
We will always remember  
That she was worth while.

As I stand here today  
Tears stream down my face,  
I miss my sister and  
That feeling can not be replaced.

Mandy preformed with her group a song called Borrowed Angels ...there was plenty of music cause she loved music ...Jen had read a poem

I am not there

_Do not stand at my grave and weep,  
I am not there. I do not sleep.  
I am a thousand winds that blow,  
I am the snow on the mountain's rim,  
I am the laughter in children's eyes,  
I am the sand at the water's edge,  
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,  
I am the gentle Autumn rain,  
When you awaken in the morning's hush,  
I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight,  
I am the star that shines at night,  
Do not stand at my grave and cry,  
I am not there, I did not die.  
_

...her dancers all got up to talk about her...her band..Jason ,Mitchel, Moises they all said things...

I wasn't sure I was even strong enough to get up but I did...I talked about how it was to hold my baby in my arms from the very first moments in her life all the special times we had on the road..how we cried at all the sad movies..then I read a poem I had saw on the internet...

_A million times I needed you  
A million times I have cried.  
If love alone could have saved you,  
You would have never died.  
In life I loved you dearly,  
In death I love you still.  
In my heart you hold a special place,  
That none will ever fill.  
It broke my heart to lose you,  
But you did not go alone.  
For all my love went with you  
The day God called you home._

No one can ever understand what its like to have your heart ripped out from you unless you have experienced the death of a child unless you watched your child take her last agonizing breath .. Miley didn't die peacefully she struggled she cried she tried so hard to hold on she was broken she was bleeding she was in so much pain...she couldn't breath she couldn't open her eyes for more then a few seconds she didn't want to die she was screaming to be saved I heard her screams...I felt them in the depths of my soul..no one knows what it's like to hold your child as she lay dying in her own blood to hear the doctors say there's no hope to tell her that she was going to die...to have her try to say goodbye as her tiny body was racked in pain...Rage filled me as I stood there by her coffin tears threatened but I refused to allow them entry...

Mandy went she recited a gorgeous poem and shared memories of their time together my heart broke for her she was so lost...

_I'm Still Here _

_Friend, please don't mourn for me  
I'm still here, though you don't see.  
I'm right by your side each night and day  
And within your heart I long to stay._

_My body is gone but I'm always near.  
I'm everything you feel, see or hear.  
My spirit is free, but I'll never depart  
As long as you keep me alive in your heart._

_I'll never wander out of your sight-  
I'm the brightest star on a summer night.  
I'll never be beyond your reach-  
I'm the warm moist sand when you're at the beach._

_I'm the colorful leaves when Autumn's around  
And the pure white snow that blankets the ground.  
I'm the beautiful flowers of which you're so fond,  
The clear cool water in a quiet pond._

_I'm the first bright blossom you'll see in the spring,  
The first warm raindrop that April will bring.  
I'm the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,  
And you'll see that the face in the moon is mine._

_When you start thinking there's no one to love you,  
You can talk to me through the Lord above you.  
I'll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees,  
And you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze._

_I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep  
And the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.  
I'm the smile you see on a baby's face.  
Just look for me, friend, I'm every place!_

Emily had come up and read with Mandy

_Miss me, but let me go _

_When I come to the end of the road  
And the sun has set for me  
I want no rites in a gloom filled room  
Why cry for a soul set free _

_Miss me a little - but not too long  
And not with your head bowed low  
Remember the love that we once shared  
Miss me - but let me go _

_For this is a journey that we must all take  
And each must go alone  
It's all a part of the Master's plan  
A step on the road to home _

_When you are lonely, and sick of heart  
Go to the friends we know  
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds  
Miss me - but let me go _

At the grave side service is when Brandi really lost it holding my daughter as she cried for her sister was pure agony a mom is suppose to shield her kids make their pain go away protect them I failed I couldn't stop death from coming to take Miles I couldn't protect Brandi from being hurt beyond repair..

Billy read a prayer.

_They say memories are golden, well, maybe that is true._

_I never wanted memories, I only wanted you.  
A million times I cried.  
If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died.  
In life I loved you dearly,in death I love you still.  
In my heart you hold a place no one else could fill.  
If tears could build a stairway and heartache make a lane.  
I'd walk the path to Heaven and bring you back again.  
Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same.  
But as God calls us back one by one, the chain will link again. _

The minster said final rights

_There is an appointed time for everything,_ _And a time for every thing under the heavens._ _A time to be born, and a time to die;_ _A time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant._ _A time to kill, and a time to heal;_ _A time to tear down, and a time to build._ _A time to weep, and a time to laugh;_ _A time to mourn, and a time to dance._ _A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them;_ _A time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces._ _A time to seek, and a time to lose;_ _A time to keep, and a time to cast away._ _A time to rend, and a time to sew;_ _A time to be silent, and a time to speak._ _A time to love, and a time to hate;_ _A time of war, and a time of peace._

T_oday in this quiet place we remember the life of Miley Ray along with all those we have loved and who have gone before. Their faces are before us at this very moment and we remember them and treasure them. There are all the things we should have said and never did, all that we said and should never have said. We may have even missed saying good-bye. Yet, they're with us at the sparkle of dawn and dull setting sun. In the unexpected moment they're there. The memories so precious, so warming, touching the heart, shedding a tear. Time seems to dull their face just as it dulls the memories, but the joy and warmth is never dulled. Lord, dry our tears and warm our memories. Amen.. __WE commend __unto thy hands of mercy, most merciful Father, the soul of this thy child; and we commit hier body to the ground, earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; and we beseech thine infinite goodness to give us grace to live in thy fear and love and to die in thy favor, that when the judgment shall come which thou hast committed to thy well-beloved Son, both this child and we may be found acceptable in thy sight. Grant this, O merciful Father, for the sake of Jesus Christ, our only Savior, Mediator, and Advocate. Amen. Go now my followers in peace may thy lord be with you..._

I looked up at the DA who looked shaken but he nodded as my dismissal I got down feeling my whole body shaken up Billy, Trace And Brandi came to me and helped me down as Noah was called up...

**Selena**

A child they were putting a child up on the stands how heartless could they be? She looked scared as she took the oath then she looked at Justin and she looked mad …The DA started with a few questions about who she looked up to how she felt about Miley and where she was on the day of the accident he got her flustered ..then she broke down Tish and Billy tried to rush to her but guards held them back as she told the court that she saw the accident she was there she had been the flash I saw before I crashed she was the reason I spun ..I was shaken...just as she was ready to have a total breakdown the doors swung open and Frankie rushed in breathless he ran up to the judge who demanded order in the courtroom . Suddenly I was called up I was shaken and I could barely stand as I went up...

_[DA]- Did you feel anything wrong with your brakes Ma'am?_

_[Me]- Yes I did but by the time I felt it it was too late_

[DA]- _Your telling me you didn't notice before?_

_[Me]- No sir.._

_[Da]- Why is that were you distracted by anything?_

_[Me]- No sir..._

_[Da]- Are you sure? I mean we all know teens are not the most cautious_

_Drivers _

_[Lawyer]- Objection leading the witness!_

_[Judge]- Sustained hurry it along counselor _

_[DA]- Sorry your honor_

_[DA]- So Miss Gomes Tell me when did you notice_

_That you were about to crash?_

_How did you lose control? _

_[Me]- I'm not sure your honor I lost most of my _

_memory_

_[DA]- But didn't you just say that you remembered not being distracted?_

_So tell me do you only remember what you want to what may help you ?_

_[Me]- No that's not it_

_[Da]- Then what is it tell me could it be that you were too busy texting your boyfriend_

_To see the on coming car?_

_Is that right Miss Gomes!_

Gasps filled the court room as the Da held up Nick's cell phone records ...I sunk down feeling scared my whole body went from being hot to cold ...I felt ill I felt dizzy I wanted to die...I looked out Tish and Mandy looked shocked Brandi was angry as usual...Brasion shock his head and Noah looked lost..Demi was horrified looking around probably expecting to be arrested at any minute . I glared at Justin figuring he was behind this but he looked just as shocked and crushed. The judge called a recess our Lawyer pulled us into a conference room and explained to us that Frankie had found evidence that his dad had tampered with my brakes causing me to lose control of the car when Frankie turned him in he turned state evidence against me to cop a deal..he had copied Nick's cell phone records...The judge called me in separately I broke down and told him everything... I kept Demi out of it though...

When court resumed I was sentenced to community service due to my injuries the judge was lean on me but Nick's dad got life without parole Joe fainted ..Nick went pale ..the judge took a moment to hand out Justin's sentence..

_Young men while I believe with my heart that you have tried to change and that you are truly sorry for your actions and while I command you for taking such steps, it saddens me to know that the hard cold facts remain you at 17 years of age are by far old enough to make right choices and wrong choices and given that you held down a steady job as a performer you are even more aware of the consequences of your actions and the effect they have on everyone around you , you are in a a sense responsible for molding young minds ..that being said you made the choice to drink and drive and therefor you took __the lives of not only yourself and your friends but of everyone on that road that night in your hands...while there are other factors in this case for just cause the fact is you were intoxicated and behind the wheel you lost control and people teenagers kids parents...died because of it..mothers and __dad's lost heir kids who we can't bring back no matter how many times we say were sorry ..and those kids deserve justice... so I am sorry it pains me to do so cause you are a nice young man with a future that could have been so bright ahead of you...it is my judgment and the judgment of the court that you be remanded into custody to start serving 10 years in __ Central Juvenile Hall you can be up for parole in five years ...I hope you take this time to seriously look at your life and change..you have a chance son I sentenced you to Juvie cause I believe you can change don't prove me wrong …_

I swallowed he looked chest fallen but he also looked relieved I went up to him and wrapped my arms around him for a brief moment before the guard pulled him back..he looked at his mom with the saddest eyes as he said..

_Don't cry momma I'll be okay I love you_

_Selena take care of your child...I really do love you_

_Be happy...Live life..like you deserve to_

_Do it for me for miles...do it for yourself..._

_Just live Baby girl live.._

Tears slide down my face as he was escorted out I nodded feeling Demi and Nick come up besides me..I waited till Justin was out of site..then I went over to Miley's family we didn't say anything we just hugged...

We went to her grave after wards my first time there it was peaceful...I ran my fingers over her name and the dates they were too close together it wasn't right … still it gave me a sense of hope that maybe she wasn't really gone. I felt her there her presence around my belly...I knew then what I had to do and what I was going to do,,exactly what Justin said.. Live for me Demi ,Nick and our baby Destiny Hope ...


End file.
